[Yama fic] Forbidden Love (Part 23)
Title: Forbidden Love
Pairing: Yama (Ohno x Sho)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, antiquity, angst, romance, friendship
Disclaimer: Purely fictional, for entertainment only
Summary: Nino expressed his feelings for the first time. Just as Prince Satoshi and Sho were trying to cope with the fact that they would be apart forever after Satoshi's wedding, something unpected happened which took them off guard and impacted greatly on their fate.
Part 23
Satoshi
I know Masaki was trying for the last time to ask me to let go. Although he didn’t show it much, but I know he really cares about me as a brother. Unfortunately, our paths in this lifetime had already been determined.
That night, I want to get drunk, because I knew that he’d be by my side if I got drunk. He took away my third cup, and the fourth one as well. But then Masaki grabbed the cup from him and handed back to me.
"Tonight is a special occasion, just let him drink! Even if his stomach hurts, he has no one to blame but himself. Besides, Nino-sansei is here." Masaki seemed to read my mind, and put the wine cup back in my hand.
I looked at Sho, Sho looked at me. We might have different thoughts in our minds, but we shared the same pain.
Ultimately everyone got drunk and the party ended. Actually I wasn’t really drunk. The pain in my stomach had prevented me from drinking enough to get drunk. But I didn’t want to care about the pain. At least feeling the pain can make me feel real.
I carefully carried Sho to the bed. Looking at his drunken face reminded me of his young innocent self before. I fingered through his eye brows, nose, and lips. Should I selfishly keep him with me? Or let him go no matter how painful it is?
I lied beside him, gently took him into my embrace, feeling his breathing movements and smelling his scent. This feeling is so soothing. But soon it will be out of my reach….a tear dropped down from the corner of my eye.
Mother invited Shiori into the palace for a few days. She said she wanted to get to know her future daughter-in-law and gave some time for her and me to get acquainted. I protested the idea but couldn’t really give a legitimate reason. I couldn’t tell her that would take away the remaining little time I have with Sho after all.
When Sho learned about this, he accepted with a smile. He even joked that this could very well prepare him for the future time when he doesn’t need to accompany me anymore. I knew he’s lying. He just said this to make me feel less guilty, but in fact, I felt just the opposite.
Shiori is a nice person. Don’t get me wrong. Having her as a wife should make me a very lucky person - if it was before I fell in love with Sho. Now my heart has been given to Sho, I have no room for anyone else. Marrying her means I have to betray two people, one that I love dearly and one that I cannot love.
As the date of the wedding closes in, Sho moved out of my main palace to the side mansion. It became even harder for me to see him, let alone talking to him. I missed him already. I don’t know how I could deal with not having me beside me. I would still have Shiori, but Sho would be all alone.
"Your Highness!" A familiar voice made me stopped on my way back from morning meetings. I turned around and saw him walking towards me. "Are you feeling alright? Is it your stomach or your knees?"
I didn’t say anything, just taking my time to look at him, as long as I could.
"I am used to follow you from behind and familiar with your walking pace, so I noticed - let me assist you to your room." He was like begging me.
I was stunned. There’s nobody in this world who knows me better than him. If I’m not feeling well, and let you assisted me, then I can touch you and feel your warmth without arousing suspicion, right? I slightly nodded. He immediately stepped up to my side and happily put his arms around my waist. I felt his body warmth.
"Satoshi, I missed you - " He whispered to my ear while holding on to me and slowing walking towards my room. "What’s bothering you? Should I call Nino?"
"May be because of the weather change, the knees are not quite well, and - " I put my arms around his shoulder and slightly pulled him closer to me. " - my heart - "
"Satoshi, don’t be like that - I’ve been wanting to tell you but lack the chance - " He said softly.
"Want to tell me what?" I asked.
"I want to tell you, I am fine, really - "
At that very moment, his voice and the breaking sound of my heart, fused together…..
Sho
What kind of pain is worse than life and death? I’ve never thought of this question but didn’t expect to personally experience it. Unknowns are scary. Then knowing the unknown future to be a painful one….is it even scarier? How does one deal with anticipated pain? I know that Satoshi wouldn’t be hurting any less. I prayed that his future bride could love him for me and give him happiness. If she ended up hurting him, how could I forgive myself?!
I tried not to go to Satoshi’s room these days. I missed him like crazy but I also knew that seeing me would only add to Satoshi’s guilt and I couldn’t let that happen. I held on to Satoshi’s clothes trying to comfort myself. It’s a childish thing to do but it helped stopping my urge to run to his side.
"Have a drink with me!"
I was stunned by Nino standing beside me with a bottle of wine in his hand. I must be deep in my thoughts of Satoshi and didn’t even know he came in.
"Didn’t you say wine is not good for health?" I immediately put down Satoshi’s clothes I was holding, feeling a little embarrassed.
"Drinking is not good for you, but suppressing your emotions is even worse!" Nino grinned. "Come on! I am rarely that spoiling. You should take advantage of it before I start nagging you again." He filled his cup and emptied it. "I can do you a big favor. If you want to cry, I’ll let you borrow my shoulders. Ain’t I generous?"
"Actually you want to cry too, don’t you?" I wasn’t going to say it out, but didn’t know why I blurted out. Seeing the changing expressions on Nino’s face regretfully, my heart ached for him. Willingly stood by a person, caring, worrying, seeing him happily in love and then painfully being drifted apart. What kind of feelings can make someone does all that? "I’m sorry, Nino. I didn’t mean to - " I didn’t know what to say to explain myself. "Please don’t be - "
"That’s alright." Nino put down the wine cup and slightly padded on my shoulder. "Come, sit down. Don’t act like a child. I am really fine." He emptied another cup of wine. "I never expected anything. He has his path. All I want is to on that same path with him, that’s good enough." He paused for a moment, seemed to be contemplating something. "He had always lived for others. Sometimes, I also want him to know, there’s someone who’s willing to live for him."
"Nino - " I’ve never heard Nino expressed his feelings directly and didn’t know how to respond.
"But, one such person is enough. Sho - you don’t mind me calling you that, right?" Nino continued while emptying another cup. "You must stand by him and support him, your Satoshi! This lifetime, no matter what kind of person he becomes, you must stand by him! And me, I will, forever, be his good friend - I promised him that - " He was so determined. I could see that in his eyes.
The remaining days before the wedding were very calm. Too calm that I was starting to feel that it’s the quiet before the storm. To my dismay, I was right.
If I had ever felt sorry for myself, if I had complaint even a tiny bit, if I had ever thought that he had more hardship than me, oh god, please show no mercy and kill me! Why?! Why did every bad thing have to happen to him?! Why did he have take on so much pain?!
It happened so fast! I don’t think anyone could see that coming. It’s not something Prince Jun did. It’s not something with foreign invasions. It was -- Concubine Ohno - she got caught with a man in bed, but it was not the king! The king ordered her to be put in prison and no visit from anybody was allowed.
Only a few days time, and I saw him languished so much. But he wouldn’t show his worries and anxieties to anyone and looked as if nothing had happened. He still did his administrative work as usual. The king excused him from the morning meetings, only because he didn’t want to see him. Satoshi requested a few times to see the king, but was denied every single time…..
"If your stomach is hurting, then don’t force yourself to eat!" I don’t know how many times I saw him pretending that nothing was wrong but obviously worrying sick inside him. I angrily tossed the chopsticks on the table and stood up. "Can you not pretend that everything is fine when it is not? Why do you have to torture yourself like this? Talk to me, please. Let me help you?" I put my hand onto his.
Satoshi also stood up, and swung off my hand. "This is my own business. You have no position to tell me what to do. Don’t forget that you’re only a hostage being left with me no matter what exploits you had."
I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I forced myself to take deep breaths. I knew he’s trying to annoy me, not wanting to pull into this crisis. But - but -
"Sho, be a little mature please. I already have enough to worry about and the situation is already bad enough as it is. Can’t I even have a little peaceful time? What good does it do to yell like that?" He said to me coldly. I had no words to respond. "If you don’t want to eat with me, you don’t have to stay."
"Satoshi - Your Highness! I can go. Whenever you order me to go, I’ll go. But I want you to know, the most important person to you in this world may not be Concubine Ohno, the person who worries about you the most may not be Concubine Ohno. You can’t ruin yourself because of one person!" I tried hard to hold back my tears which were threatening to burst out.
"Sakurai, please conduct yourself!" Satoshi raged suddenly. "Do you know what you were saying?! She is my mother. Should I not worry about her but worry about you?! Guards! Escort Sakurai back to his room. From now on, stay in your room unless I said otherwise."
Guards immediately appeared on my sides.
"What?" I looked at him in shock. I couldn’t believe he did that. He put me in house arrest?! "No! You can’t do that! Satoshi! You can’t - " I struggled the best I could, only to see him disappearing from my sight.
To be continued.....
Previous | Index | Next
Pairing: Yama (Ohno x Sho)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, antiquity, angst, romance, friendship
Disclaimer: Purely fictional, for entertainment only
Summary: Nino expressed his feelings for the first time. Just as Prince Satoshi and Sho were trying to cope with the fact that they would be apart forever after Satoshi's wedding, something unpected happened which took them off guard and impacted greatly on their fate.
Part 23
Satoshi
I know Masaki was trying for the last time to ask me to let go. Although he didn’t show it much, but I know he really cares about me as a brother. Unfortunately, our paths in this lifetime had already been determined.
That night, I want to get drunk, because I knew that he’d be by my side if I got drunk. He took away my third cup, and the fourth one as well. But then Masaki grabbed the cup from him and handed back to me.
"Tonight is a special occasion, just let him drink! Even if his stomach hurts, he has no one to blame but himself. Besides, Nino-sansei is here." Masaki seemed to read my mind, and put the wine cup back in my hand.
I looked at Sho, Sho looked at me. We might have different thoughts in our minds, but we shared the same pain.
Ultimately everyone got drunk and the party ended. Actually I wasn’t really drunk. The pain in my stomach had prevented me from drinking enough to get drunk. But I didn’t want to care about the pain. At least feeling the pain can make me feel real.
I carefully carried Sho to the bed. Looking at his drunken face reminded me of his young innocent self before. I fingered through his eye brows, nose, and lips. Should I selfishly keep him with me? Or let him go no matter how painful it is?
I lied beside him, gently took him into my embrace, feeling his breathing movements and smelling his scent. This feeling is so soothing. But soon it will be out of my reach….a tear dropped down from the corner of my eye.
Mother invited Shiori into the palace for a few days. She said she wanted to get to know her future daughter-in-law and gave some time for her and me to get acquainted. I protested the idea but couldn’t really give a legitimate reason. I couldn’t tell her that would take away the remaining little time I have with Sho after all.
When Sho learned about this, he accepted with a smile. He even joked that this could very well prepare him for the future time when he doesn’t need to accompany me anymore. I knew he’s lying. He just said this to make me feel less guilty, but in fact, I felt just the opposite.
Shiori is a nice person. Don’t get me wrong. Having her as a wife should make me a very lucky person - if it was before I fell in love with Sho. Now my heart has been given to Sho, I have no room for anyone else. Marrying her means I have to betray two people, one that I love dearly and one that I cannot love.
As the date of the wedding closes in, Sho moved out of my main palace to the side mansion. It became even harder for me to see him, let alone talking to him. I missed him already. I don’t know how I could deal with not having me beside me. I would still have Shiori, but Sho would be all alone.
"Your Highness!" A familiar voice made me stopped on my way back from morning meetings. I turned around and saw him walking towards me. "Are you feeling alright? Is it your stomach or your knees?"
I didn’t say anything, just taking my time to look at him, as long as I could.
"I am used to follow you from behind and familiar with your walking pace, so I noticed - let me assist you to your room." He was like begging me.
I was stunned. There’s nobody in this world who knows me better than him. If I’m not feeling well, and let you assisted me, then I can touch you and feel your warmth without arousing suspicion, right? I slightly nodded. He immediately stepped up to my side and happily put his arms around my waist. I felt his body warmth.
"Satoshi, I missed you - " He whispered to my ear while holding on to me and slowing walking towards my room. "What’s bothering you? Should I call Nino?"
"May be because of the weather change, the knees are not quite well, and - " I put my arms around his shoulder and slightly pulled him closer to me. " - my heart - "
"Satoshi, don’t be like that - I’ve been wanting to tell you but lack the chance - " He said softly.
"Want to tell me what?" I asked.
"I want to tell you, I am fine, really - "
At that very moment, his voice and the breaking sound of my heart, fused together…..
Sho
What kind of pain is worse than life and death? I’ve never thought of this question but didn’t expect to personally experience it. Unknowns are scary. Then knowing the unknown future to be a painful one….is it even scarier? How does one deal with anticipated pain? I know that Satoshi wouldn’t be hurting any less. I prayed that his future bride could love him for me and give him happiness. If she ended up hurting him, how could I forgive myself?!
I tried not to go to Satoshi’s room these days. I missed him like crazy but I also knew that seeing me would only add to Satoshi’s guilt and I couldn’t let that happen. I held on to Satoshi’s clothes trying to comfort myself. It’s a childish thing to do but it helped stopping my urge to run to his side.
"Have a drink with me!"
I was stunned by Nino standing beside me with a bottle of wine in his hand. I must be deep in my thoughts of Satoshi and didn’t even know he came in.
"Didn’t you say wine is not good for health?" I immediately put down Satoshi’s clothes I was holding, feeling a little embarrassed.
"Drinking is not good for you, but suppressing your emotions is even worse!" Nino grinned. "Come on! I am rarely that spoiling. You should take advantage of it before I start nagging you again." He filled his cup and emptied it. "I can do you a big favor. If you want to cry, I’ll let you borrow my shoulders. Ain’t I generous?"
"Actually you want to cry too, don’t you?" I wasn’t going to say it out, but didn’t know why I blurted out. Seeing the changing expressions on Nino’s face regretfully, my heart ached for him. Willingly stood by a person, caring, worrying, seeing him happily in love and then painfully being drifted apart. What kind of feelings can make someone does all that? "I’m sorry, Nino. I didn’t mean to - " I didn’t know what to say to explain myself. "Please don’t be - "
"That’s alright." Nino put down the wine cup and slightly padded on my shoulder. "Come, sit down. Don’t act like a child. I am really fine." He emptied another cup of wine. "I never expected anything. He has his path. All I want is to on that same path with him, that’s good enough." He paused for a moment, seemed to be contemplating something. "He had always lived for others. Sometimes, I also want him to know, there’s someone who’s willing to live for him."
"Nino - " I’ve never heard Nino expressed his feelings directly and didn’t know how to respond.
"But, one such person is enough. Sho - you don’t mind me calling you that, right?" Nino continued while emptying another cup. "You must stand by him and support him, your Satoshi! This lifetime, no matter what kind of person he becomes, you must stand by him! And me, I will, forever, be his good friend - I promised him that - " He was so determined. I could see that in his eyes.
The remaining days before the wedding were very calm. Too calm that I was starting to feel that it’s the quiet before the storm. To my dismay, I was right.
If I had ever felt sorry for myself, if I had complaint even a tiny bit, if I had ever thought that he had more hardship than me, oh god, please show no mercy and kill me! Why?! Why did every bad thing have to happen to him?! Why did he have take on so much pain?!
It happened so fast! I don’t think anyone could see that coming. It’s not something Prince Jun did. It’s not something with foreign invasions. It was -- Concubine Ohno - she got caught with a man in bed, but it was not the king! The king ordered her to be put in prison and no visit from anybody was allowed.
Only a few days time, and I saw him languished so much. But he wouldn’t show his worries and anxieties to anyone and looked as if nothing had happened. He still did his administrative work as usual. The king excused him from the morning meetings, only because he didn’t want to see him. Satoshi requested a few times to see the king, but was denied every single time…..
"If your stomach is hurting, then don’t force yourself to eat!" I don’t know how many times I saw him pretending that nothing was wrong but obviously worrying sick inside him. I angrily tossed the chopsticks on the table and stood up. "Can you not pretend that everything is fine when it is not? Why do you have to torture yourself like this? Talk to me, please. Let me help you?" I put my hand onto his.
Satoshi also stood up, and swung off my hand. "This is my own business. You have no position to tell me what to do. Don’t forget that you’re only a hostage being left with me no matter what exploits you had."
I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I forced myself to take deep breaths. I knew he’s trying to annoy me, not wanting to pull into this crisis. But - but -
"Sho, be a little mature please. I already have enough to worry about and the situation is already bad enough as it is. Can’t I even have a little peaceful time? What good does it do to yell like that?" He said to me coldly. I had no words to respond. "If you don’t want to eat with me, you don’t have to stay."
"Satoshi - Your Highness! I can go. Whenever you order me to go, I’ll go. But I want you to know, the most important person to you in this world may not be Concubine Ohno, the person who worries about you the most may not be Concubine Ohno. You can’t ruin yourself because of one person!" I tried hard to hold back my tears which were threatening to burst out.
"Sakurai, please conduct yourself!" Satoshi raged suddenly. "Do you know what you were saying?! She is my mother. Should I not worry about her but worry about you?! Guards! Escort Sakurai back to his room. From now on, stay in your room unless I said otherwise."
Guards immediately appeared on my sides.
"What?" I looked at him in shock. I couldn’t believe he did that. He put me in house arrest?! "No! You can’t do that! Satoshi! You can’t - " I struggled the best I could, only to see him disappearing from my sight.
To be continued.....
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