No air
Title: No air
Pairing: Ryan Lochte/Michael Phelps
Rating: PG-13
Warning: some swearing
Disclaimer: Not true. Only my sick and bored imagination.
Summary: Ryan finds out about Michael's retiring from the newspaper.
"A legendary swimmer ends his career"
"Michael Phelps decides to quit swimming"
"Multiple medalist finishes his gold era"
These headlines were like stones thrown at Ryan. Each of them was tearing his heart into pieces. He howled and bit his lip to stop his mouth from trembling. His legs felt weak and he slid down the wall with covering his face.
He could feel the huge wave of pain overwhelming his body and hugged his knees to feel safe. His sobbing was audible in the whole apartment since he saw the newspapers. He knew that tears rolling down his cheeks were leaving visible evidence that he was crying. He won't hide it in front of Michael. He didn't even try to hide it. Michael deserves seeing his pain.
Why didn't he tell him? They were best friends for god's sake!
Ryan felt betrayed and it woke up anger inside of him. He quickly stood up, wiped his tears, started going around their olympic apartment and breaking things that were on his way.
He took a beer bottle from a coffee table and threw it at the balcony window. His hand grabbed an expensive-looking vase and dropped it straight onto the floor. He was screaming like an idiot but, at the same time, fear and sadness were spreading in his mind.
How will he survive without Michael? He was always there for him, no matter what. His support was invaluable for Ryan. Michael was like his older brother, trainer and best friend in one.
'And fuck buddy...' flew through his mind.
He vividly remembered all these nights after big races he hadn't done well in and how he needed to feel the warmth of Michael's body. It was his only medicine for loss. After a night spent with Michael he was strong enough to confront all these journalists in the morning. He was sure that if Michael didn't soothe him all night telling him compliments about all he could mention, he would attack some interviewer one day after a question like: Your race was terrible. What happened to our amazing Ryan Lochte? Has pressure about beating Michael gotten to you?
Their relationship was based on satisfying each other's wants. When Ryan felt pressure, he could talk to his friend; when Michael was sick, Ryan took care of him, when their sexual frustration was peaking, they had sex. It was simple, with no words, promises or declarations of love.
But Ryan never thought that it would end like this. With no words. An unexpected thought made him run to their shared bedroom to check if Michael's suitcase is still there. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his friend's T-shirts thrown all over the bed and the carpet.
He took a blue T-shirt from Michael's bed and placed himself in soft pillows inhaling the sweet scent of Michael. Anger was licking his mind with its fiery tongue each time he thought about him, but it was immediately extinguished by the vision of Ryan travelling all over the world without Michael by his side.
Ryan heard the door opening. Keys were dropped on the coffee table. There was audible tone of worry heard in Michael's voice.
"Ryan, are you all right? What happened here?"
"What happened?!" Ryan made an ironical laugh. "When were you planning to tell me that you are quitting swimming?"
Michael's face changed in seconds. He was trying not to flare Ryan's anger. His eyes were looking sadly at him.
"It's not like I wasn't going to tell you. But you knew it would happen some day. I have all I can reach..."
"I don't care if you can reach some more medals or not, but you have to swim next to me. And now, you decide to quit swimming and I'm finding out about it from the newspaper. I thought you trust me but I see you don't..."
Michael jumped to Ryan and grabbed his wrists. He looked him straight into the eye and he saw pure pain in them.
"You're the only person I trust. Don't ever doubt it" he said seriously.
"So you should have told me earlier, maybe before the press conference, bastard!"
Ryan was bumping his fists into muscular chest in front of him. Michael caught his hands and hugged him tightly like never before. He momentarily felt Ryan was melting into his touch.
"I know, I'm so sorry. I should've told you but I knew you'd react like this"
"Do you blame me? I will be alone for the rest of my life! We've always shared a room, a seat in a plane. We've been sharing our lifes for some time..."
Michael was making soothing noises and rubbing circles with his hands on Ryan's back.
"You're like air to me Michael. You make me alive during all these tournaments. How am I supposed to breathe without air?"
Ryan looked straight into his eyes and both of them felt like world around them stopped for a minute to give them more time together.
"You'll do it. You're a fighter and you never give up"
Ryan couldn't last any longer and connected their lips. He took a big breath at the same time, like Michael really helped him with breathing. When they pulled back, Michael said:
"I've never told you this before because I knew it wouldn't last but you're the only person I care about, the only permanent part of my life. You're like the ocean - you'll always wait for me in the same place, nearby. I love you"
Ryan sucked in a huge breath. He looked to the floor but didn't step back from the warm arms wrapped around him.
"You've just made it even worse. I can't let you go now, when I know you love me too. I just can't"
"We'll find a solution"
"We won't! I'll travel around the world for most of the year and you want a stable life now"
"But you'll have some holiday and breaks, right? So I'll be in Baltimore, waiting for you"
Ryan's gaze wandered again to Michael's face.
"You will?" he said with hope.
"Always"
They intertwined their fingers and headed to the bedroom. A soft bed welcomed them and they spent the whole night in each other's arms.
"You gave me hope Michael. I hope that all this time we'll spend together will be enough for me not to suffocate without you..."
After all these transfer rumours my heart is getting peaceful again. Waiting for the comments! :)
Pairing: Ryan Lochte/Michael Phelps
Rating: PG-13
Warning: some swearing
Disclaimer: Not true. Only my sick and bored imagination.
Summary: Ryan finds out about Michael's retiring from the newspaper.
"A legendary swimmer ends his career"
"Michael Phelps decides to quit swimming"
"Multiple medalist finishes his gold era"
These headlines were like stones thrown at Ryan. Each of them was tearing his heart into pieces. He howled and bit his lip to stop his mouth from trembling. His legs felt weak and he slid down the wall with covering his face.
He could feel the huge wave of pain overwhelming his body and hugged his knees to feel safe. His sobbing was audible in the whole apartment since he saw the newspapers. He knew that tears rolling down his cheeks were leaving visible evidence that he was crying. He won't hide it in front of Michael. He didn't even try to hide it. Michael deserves seeing his pain.
Why didn't he tell him? They were best friends for god's sake!
Ryan felt betrayed and it woke up anger inside of him. He quickly stood up, wiped his tears, started going around their olympic apartment and breaking things that were on his way.
He took a beer bottle from a coffee table and threw it at the balcony window. His hand grabbed an expensive-looking vase and dropped it straight onto the floor. He was screaming like an idiot but, at the same time, fear and sadness were spreading in his mind.
How will he survive without Michael? He was always there for him, no matter what. His support was invaluable for Ryan. Michael was like his older brother, trainer and best friend in one.
'And fuck buddy...' flew through his mind.
He vividly remembered all these nights after big races he hadn't done well in and how he needed to feel the warmth of Michael's body. It was his only medicine for loss. After a night spent with Michael he was strong enough to confront all these journalists in the morning. He was sure that if Michael didn't soothe him all night telling him compliments about all he could mention, he would attack some interviewer one day after a question like: Your race was terrible. What happened to our amazing Ryan Lochte? Has pressure about beating Michael gotten to you?
Their relationship was based on satisfying each other's wants. When Ryan felt pressure, he could talk to his friend; when Michael was sick, Ryan took care of him, when their sexual frustration was peaking, they had sex. It was simple, with no words, promises or declarations of love.
But Ryan never thought that it would end like this. With no words. An unexpected thought made him run to their shared bedroom to check if Michael's suitcase is still there. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his friend's T-shirts thrown all over the bed and the carpet.
He took a blue T-shirt from Michael's bed and placed himself in soft pillows inhaling the sweet scent of Michael. Anger was licking his mind with its fiery tongue each time he thought about him, but it was immediately extinguished by the vision of Ryan travelling all over the world without Michael by his side.
Ryan heard the door opening. Keys were dropped on the coffee table. There was audible tone of worry heard in Michael's voice.
"Ryan, are you all right? What happened here?"
"What happened?!" Ryan made an ironical laugh. "When were you planning to tell me that you are quitting swimming?"
Michael's face changed in seconds. He was trying not to flare Ryan's anger. His eyes were looking sadly at him.
"It's not like I wasn't going to tell you. But you knew it would happen some day. I have all I can reach..."
"I don't care if you can reach some more medals or not, but you have to swim next to me. And now, you decide to quit swimming and I'm finding out about it from the newspaper. I thought you trust me but I see you don't..."
Michael jumped to Ryan and grabbed his wrists. He looked him straight into the eye and he saw pure pain in them.
"You're the only person I trust. Don't ever doubt it" he said seriously.
"So you should have told me earlier, maybe before the press conference, bastard!"
Ryan was bumping his fists into muscular chest in front of him. Michael caught his hands and hugged him tightly like never before. He momentarily felt Ryan was melting into his touch.
"I know, I'm so sorry. I should've told you but I knew you'd react like this"
"Do you blame me? I will be alone for the rest of my life! We've always shared a room, a seat in a plane. We've been sharing our lifes for some time..."
Michael was making soothing noises and rubbing circles with his hands on Ryan's back.
"You're like air to me Michael. You make me alive during all these tournaments. How am I supposed to breathe without air?"
Ryan looked straight into his eyes and both of them felt like world around them stopped for a minute to give them more time together.
"You'll do it. You're a fighter and you never give up"
Ryan couldn't last any longer and connected their lips. He took a big breath at the same time, like Michael really helped him with breathing. When they pulled back, Michael said:
"I've never told you this before because I knew it wouldn't last but you're the only person I care about, the only permanent part of my life. You're like the ocean - you'll always wait for me in the same place, nearby. I love you"
Ryan sucked in a huge breath. He looked to the floor but didn't step back from the warm arms wrapped around him.
"You've just made it even worse. I can't let you go now, when I know you love me too. I just can't"
"We'll find a solution"
"We won't! I'll travel around the world for most of the year and you want a stable life now"
"But you'll have some holiday and breaks, right? So I'll be in Baltimore, waiting for you"
Ryan's gaze wandered again to Michael's face.
"You will?" he said with hope.
"Always"
They intertwined their fingers and headed to the bedroom. A soft bed welcomed them and they spent the whole night in each other's arms.
"You gave me hope Michael. I hope that all this time we'll spend together will be enough for me not to suffocate without you..."
After all these transfer rumours my heart is getting peaceful again. Waiting for the comments! :)