you know i care about you and wish more than anything else that there was something I could do to help and make you feel better. i love when you sign on and i get a minute to chat and encourage you to keep fighting and keep on going.
I think you are a very strong person, Caleb, and I wish there were more I could do to support you. Just, please know that the world is beautiful just as much as it is scary, and that there are people out here in it who care about you and believe in you and want to see you keep on fighting. You have so much to offer the world...it gets better. It has to.
I don't know you well, and you don't know me well. However from what I do know, I seem to see some of you in me, or me in you. I don't think the abuse I've been through is the same as your's. Probably not at all. But I've had my own experiences of abuse over the years and grew to use sex as a way to hurt myself. I'd sleep with anyone and everyone. I could hate them and it didn't matter. The less I liked them, the more I could hurt them, and that somehow calmed me. I felt as if it was what I was supposed to do. That I must deserve it for some reason.
It's been a year now that I've stopped seeing life that way though. I took all the experiences I'd gone through and felt that whatever it was that had driven me to do that to myself was over. I knew myself. I learned that I did deserve better; that the people that hurt me were the ones that needed to be punished. Even though I stopped seeking abuse, or letting it happen, it was still forced upon me at times, but I'm still here because I knew that in time, I could be happy. And it's true
( ... )
Comments 6
Caleb,
you know i care about you and wish more than anything else that there was something I could do to help and make you feel better. i love when you sign on and i get a minute to chat and encourage you to keep fighting and keep on going.
your friend,
~mike~
Reply
Reply
Reply
*hugs*
I'm with you. I miss you, too.
Reply
It's been a year now that I've stopped seeing life that way though. I took all the experiences I'd gone through and felt that whatever it was that had driven me to do that to myself was over. I knew myself. I learned that I did deserve better; that the people that hurt me were the ones that needed to be punished. Even though I stopped seeking abuse, or letting it happen, it was still forced upon me at times, but I'm still here because I knew that in time, I could be happy. And it's true ( ... )
Reply
-Caleb
Reply
Leave a comment