Comments | klsiegel: Brigit's Flame Post - September Week 2

klsiegel

Brigit's Flame Post - September Week 2 - Stripping Gears

Sep 11, 2009 22:56

So, this is also a bit autobiographical...okay, more than a bit. A couple people will have read the long version of the story; this is a substantially shorter, slightly different take.
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Stripping Gears

It all started innocently enough. All I said was, “Wow! That was awesome! We should do this more often!”

Sometimes a tiny push is just what the ( Read more... )

Comments 7

jlly_coppercorn September 13 2009, 19:44:21 UTC

The strength it must take to get up in front of people and sing. I personally have only tried once, doing karaoke with friends, and my diaphragm tightened up as soon as I opened my mouth. I could only whisper the lyrics. It's a pity too, because really belting out a song feels so good - as long as no one's listening.

Well done on locking that fear in the basement where she belongs and really good entry this week. Maybe we should take a safari in Balloonhat's world and hunt some Unquiet Doubt together. I bet the whole Brigit's Flame community could merrily join in that quest.

Indeed... klsiegel September 13 2009, 20:11:09 UTC

...if you read Parasite, then you know some of what I was fighting through.

It's strength, it's courage, it's skill and preparation... it's prayer. For me, more than anything else, it was centering and grounding and being open to letting the Spirit use my instrument. There's a friends-locked post that has to stay friends-locked for various reasons, that goes into longer detail; if you're interested, I can send by e-mail or add you to my friends list.

And make no mistake - what we have now is fair enough, but it is not done yet. There is work, and mighty work, still to do...but for the first time in perhaps forever, I feel up to taking it on.

Re: Indeed... jlly_coppercorn September 13 2009, 20:24:35 UTC

I did read Parasite but I felt uncomfortable commenting because the post felt so...intimate. Because you took a step back and told this story at a distance it felt like less of an intrusion to comment this week. I think most people have that voice inside them telling them they are not good enough and that even the people who give you praise are really smirking behind their hands at you. That voice is someone we don't talk about in polite conversation even though we should because it saps the power it has over us. You wrote in that post as though you were weak but finally starting to fight back. Based on the two posts I can see that you are brave and strong. It's something you can hone, like your voice or with it, to battle the inner demons.

Re: Indeed... klsiegel September 13 2009, 20:31:09 UTC

Yeah, as I think I remarked to one of the commenters on Parasite, I do seem to have stepped right out there with no clothes on.

I've been wrestling this particular daemon, with greater and lesser success, for quite a while now, and I suspect we have quite a distance to go...but for the moment, for today, I am driving the bus most of the time, and I am unpicking the traps as I come to them. It is a great blessing that at least I have light to see them by, now, and greater skill at disassembling them.

asianprincess61 September 14 2009, 23:07:52 UTC

Hi~! I'm AsianPrincess61, and I'll be your editor! :D

I must say, that I really like the flow of this piece as well as how relateable the character is. Doing what she did must've been really hard huh? :)

Admittedly though, I'm not quite sure as to what else I should say regarding your piece. The grammar looks good to me, and the sentence beginnings seem pretty diverse and not too repetitive. :D

Keep up the good work, and good luck in this competition!

Sorta belated gentle edit. mermaidbia September 18 2009, 19:16:49 UTC

This is an incredibly complex, well-crafted, mysterious and beautiful piece, and you display a beautiful voice - not only in singing, which is obviously your passion, but in using words, too. You weave your reader skilfully into the vocabulary he needs to enter your own universe, to understand your speech, in a sort of enigmatic, but still beautiful way that I've never seen before on BF. Your writing is precise, eloquent, a little strange and offbeat - but honest all the way. I love the way you initially peruse the prompt "gear" as a metaphor for things changing, fates being set in motion, as well as your own personal "gear" - your voice and your wavering confidence. I love how you keep this metaphor up, letting it slip into unexpected places before the reader forgets it. You are a sublime writer ( ... )

Re: Sorta belated gentle edit. klsiegel September 19 2009, 17:01:51 UTC

Oh, blushing! Thank you ( ... )