So I'll probably write more later but this is what I have to say now ( Read more... )

In a few weeks...     A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything yet nothing being the same. In a few weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we ( Read more... )

So yeah awesome day....

So we got to the athletic center @ 3. Put up some signs, got our badges (my picture was awful) and awesome t-shirts (a nice Charlie brown yellow, but still cool). Then hung around forever. The the fun began...

We were on the Hospitality committee (YEAH TEAM DAVE WHOOO) So we got to set some of the green room up. And ( Read more... )

So I know I vowed to myself not to write in this thing until I got myself in a better place in my life, however, what I'm about to write about definaately constitutes an entry.

I knew it was comming for awhile now, but why now? Why could she last just until the end of the semester?

It all starts with Jen and I packing her up to go home for the ( Read more... )

Dear live journal readers,

I've currently decided for my own mental health benefit to give this thing up for awhile. Not just writing in it but visting the site period. All this thing does is further my anger, being upset and make myself feel like shit. Whether it's just ranting on and putting myself down or reading friends journals or reading  ( Read more... )

I just don't know anymore....

somedays i'm fine...

and others i hurt so bad...

i really wish i could just be happy.

I envy you...

That quote couldn't be more truthful. Some may be able to let go but my scars, both physical and emotional remind me everyday that the past is real, and it affects me how i run my life and how i make decisons and what not.

In oher words, I don't know what to do with myself anymore. People what the hell is wrong with me? I have issues. I push ( Read more... )

I'm done playing this game. All it does is constantly remind me of how i care too much and i just get hurt over and over again. I just can't understand why i put myself through it over and over. I know you say you care but, i can't find the strength to give you the support that you need. Maybe its me being selfish, but if thats the case then so be ( Read more... )

Before i start this post, i just want to point out how blessesed i know i am seeing as i have a place to sleep and eat, a car to drive and my health, and thats more than a lot of people can say they have this time of year, so i do reconginse those things but, this is how i feel anyways...

Every year i wish that the next will bring me happiness, ( Read more... )

"i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much

and our scars remind us
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel"