Sweep - Vanished Past - Chapter 4 + Epilogue
Vanished Past
Kneazle
Choice
I was ushered into the house with my mother's arms around me. She kept a tight hold on me, as if I was going to run away again. Of course, the only reason for me to run away again this time would be because I was extremely nervous and it would only be to run to the bathroom to throw up.
I didn't know why I was nervous; this was a place I had known for years, and a family I had known for ages. Maybe it was because this wasn't home anymore.
"Morgan! Morgan's back everybody!"
I became swept up in many arms and noise as my mother ushered me towards the living room where everyone -and I mean everyone-was. The TV was playing some video of me when I was six and at the beach for the first time with my family and Mary-K. I could feel my cheeks flame with embarrassment as I watched the younger me skip around in my yellow swimsuit.
"Morgan! Morgan!" someone kept calling my name - in more than one direction. With my head swiveling back and forth, I wondered what to do first. Finally, May-K decided that for me, steering me into my favorite armchair. It was still as comfy and soft as I remembered, and I sank gratefully into its burgundy folds.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The house still smelled of potpourri, mingled with the spicy scents of herbs and spices that were on the rack in the kitchen. People were talking all around me, and suddenly it was like I blasted two years back, the "before Wicca" days, when it was just Mary-K, Mom, Dad and I, before I knew I was adopted, before I knew my father, my half-brother, Cal… before Hunter…
I nearly gasped for air when I felt the pang in my heart. Life without Hunter was like life without air, life without joy and happiness. I almost shuddered at that repulsive thought, but instead found myself running my hands along the underside of the seat cushion, before pulling out Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time. The pages were worn and some ever torn in parts, but for the most part it was readable.
So there I was, in the middle of my "Welcome Home" party, reading. So far, no one tried to speak to me, and they haven't approached; but that's fine with me. I want to be left alone. This way, I can watch and observe the people I know and love so much.
Robbie and Bree were sitting on the couch, talking quietly and were so close; it was obvious they were only engrossed with each other.
Jenna, Matt, Sharon and Raven were chatting by the chips, talking about something utterly hilarious because they all broke into peals of laughter, their eyes and faces lighting up. I smiled secretly, happy that they were at least having fun and setting aside their differences.
Well you may not see me when you come by
I could be sharing someone else's pillow
And my love for you is better than diamonds
To you everything I bestow
And tomorrow I'll be dancing on my own
And I'll need a kiss for my head that's aching
And I'll be a hungry dog without a bone
Hoping my place with you's not taken
Mom, Dad, Mary-K and Aunt Eileen were coming in and out of the kitchen, setting up plates of delicious smelling food on the large dining room table - the place where we only eat if there's something special going on. My head swam with the scents that reached my nostrils, but there was still one person I wanted to know what he was doing…
Kiss me and tell me it's not broken
Kiss me and kiss me till I'm dead
See I'll give you the stars, from the bruised evenin' sky
And a crown of jewels for your head now
For your head now
And for your head now, and for your head
Hunter sat across from me, across the room in the other armchair. He had one leg crossed over the other, and was resting his head in one hand as he watched with amusement as Robbie and Bree were made fun of for making out in my parent's house. It was common knowledge that guys weren't allowed inside if the parents were home, and making out was a big no-no.
Still, as my eyes watched Hunter, I felt that pang again in my heart - I wanted to be with him so much, but I wasn't sure if this was my place, at least, now.
One last night in bed for a time
Two more wishes and both are for thine
And three guesses you're the angel's child
Four hopes that this love's not spoiled
Mom called us all to the dining room table, with me seated at the head. She dumped mashed potatoes in the pounds on my plate, with peas, kidney pie, Shepard's pie, Caesar salad, Goddess, it was everything I loved to eat. Everyone was piling the food on stacks on their plates, already going back for seconds after wolfing the first serving down.
Compliments to my mother and Aunt reached my ears through my veil - a veil that covered my thoughts from my face, but somehow kept me apart from everyone… until there was the question.
Kiss me and tell me it's not broken
Kiss me and kiss me till I'm dead
See I give you the stars, from the bruised evenin' sky
And a crown of jewels for your head now
For your head now
And for your head now, for your head now
"Morgan!" Jenna said, "How does it feel to be back in Widow's Vale?"
I swallowed my food and looked at her as I spoke. "Nice. It's good to be around the people I care about and love." One last time, at least.
"How long are you going to stay this time, Morgan? Hopefully tomorrow morning when we all wake up you won't have disappeared on us again," laughed Sharon.
I felt my stomach clench tightly together, and noticed that everyone went silent. My eyes darted from one face to another, taking in their hopeful and wistful expressions.
I suddenly stood, knocking the chair back and onto the ground. Then, I turned and ran upstairs, into my bedroom, locked the door and rushed into the bathroom, where I promptly threw up.
I wouldn't be able to lie to them directly. I never could.
And if you come back I'll take you to the garden
We'll dance to an orchestra on the lawn
And we roll in the foggy dew
And dance with the ghosts upon the dawn and on the dawn and on the dawn
Then you'll kiss me and tell me it's not broken
Kiss me and kiss me till I'm dead
See I give you the stars, from the bruised evenin' sky
And a crown of jewels for your head now
For your head now
And for your head now, for your head now
For your head now
I felt sick after that delightfully appetizing yet sickening dinner, and croaked to my mother and Mary-K that I felt sick, and was going to bed early that night. They didn't press me on the subject, and I didn't offer anything.
I heard them walk back downstairs, and tell everyone that I wasn't feeling well. I could ever feel Hunter trying to reach my mind, wondering what was wrong, but I put up my shields and didn't allow anyone in - mentally or physically.
I fell asleep that night with troubled thoughts. Should I stay or go? Things weren't going the best here, even though I felt so comfortable to be back with my family. There were things that were just too painful to have me stay.
When I woke up, I felt like I had never fallen asleep. I was tired and had a headache, so I went straight downstairs for a Tylenol. When I got there, I found my family sitting around the kitchen table, staring at me in my Wonder Woman panties and sweatshirt.
"Hi," I mumbled, not caring about my attire.
"Good morning," the rest of the family chirped unconsciously. I winced, but nonetheless, got a glass of water and Tylenol. As I leaned against the kitchen counter, I addressed them.
"Okay, spill it. What's on your mind?" I asked.
My father got a vague look on his face, my mother avoided my eyes, Aunt Eileen smiled softly at me while dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief, and Mary-K, and she was staring at me sadly, really.
"Morgan," said my mother finally, "Why don't you sit down, and have a family discussion?"
Sighing, and knowing where this was leading, I nodded and sat in the empty chair, facing my family. This time I knew that they were going to understand my reasons - for leaving Widow's Vale the last time.
Epilogue
New York, Columbus University - October 2003
One year later…
University life was so different that what I had expected, but with Killian and Ciaran helping me along the way, things were looking up.
After that day in Widow's Vale, I had sat down with my family, and this time, they were all for me leaving. I was no longer the same Morgan who had been banished from Kithic, the same Morgan from before her Wiccan days, but a new Morgan who lived in New York, knew how to party, dress, be independent… well, that was Morgan MacEwan. The other Morgans had died into my past, and weren't resurfacing.
Mary-K and I had sat in my room while I packed, talking and reminiscing about the days before everything was so different, but it only made the feeling of my leaving weirder. After I had packed and borrowed two more suitcases for my knickknacks, I placed them in dad's car. He was going to drive me to the bus station in the neighboring town, and as we all piled in and drove past the places where I grew up, I felt the hole in my heart get a bit bigger, and yet smaller at the same time.
I'd be leaving a part of me behind, I realized, and staring a new one in September. The idea was scary and mind boggling, but I liked it. However, when we drove past Hunter and Sky's old house… the pit in my stomach grew to its largest point. I felt like I was breaking in two, and nearly shouted, "STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!" but I controlled myself.
And never said goodbye to Hunter. My one regret.
October in New York was chilly. With brisk winds, staying outside was a big no way, and going to the library was out of the question. I didn't feel like going home just yet, so I stopped on my way to a nearby café.
The door chime rang as I stepped in, signaling another customer. Taking off my gloves and scarf, I glanced around and nearly overlooked the shocking head of pure blonde hair. My eyes dwelled on the young man some more, but as the line surged forward, so did I and my thoughts of him disappeared.
Ordering a frappe chino, I found an empty seat near the blonde guy. However, as I walked towards him, more and more of his features became obvious, and a familiar tingle ran down my spine.
As I stepped up beside the young man's seat, his eyes left the page of his book and looked into mine. Emerald met muddy brown-green and that all-familiar jolt (not from my java) hit me again.
I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to address him. Long ago I forgave him… now its time to say it.
I smiled and said, "Hello Hunter."
FIN
Kneazle
Choice
I was ushered into the house with my mother's arms around me. She kept a tight hold on me, as if I was going to run away again. Of course, the only reason for me to run away again this time would be because I was extremely nervous and it would only be to run to the bathroom to throw up.
I didn't know why I was nervous; this was a place I had known for years, and a family I had known for ages. Maybe it was because this wasn't home anymore.
"Morgan! Morgan's back everybody!"
I became swept up in many arms and noise as my mother ushered me towards the living room where everyone -and I mean everyone-was. The TV was playing some video of me when I was six and at the beach for the first time with my family and Mary-K. I could feel my cheeks flame with embarrassment as I watched the younger me skip around in my yellow swimsuit.
"Morgan! Morgan!" someone kept calling my name - in more than one direction. With my head swiveling back and forth, I wondered what to do first. Finally, May-K decided that for me, steering me into my favorite armchair. It was still as comfy and soft as I remembered, and I sank gratefully into its burgundy folds.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The house still smelled of potpourri, mingled with the spicy scents of herbs and spices that were on the rack in the kitchen. People were talking all around me, and suddenly it was like I blasted two years back, the "before Wicca" days, when it was just Mary-K, Mom, Dad and I, before I knew I was adopted, before I knew my father, my half-brother, Cal… before Hunter…
I nearly gasped for air when I felt the pang in my heart. Life without Hunter was like life without air, life without joy and happiness. I almost shuddered at that repulsive thought, but instead found myself running my hands along the underside of the seat cushion, before pulling out Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time. The pages were worn and some ever torn in parts, but for the most part it was readable.
So there I was, in the middle of my "Welcome Home" party, reading. So far, no one tried to speak to me, and they haven't approached; but that's fine with me. I want to be left alone. This way, I can watch and observe the people I know and love so much.
Robbie and Bree were sitting on the couch, talking quietly and were so close; it was obvious they were only engrossed with each other.
Jenna, Matt, Sharon and Raven were chatting by the chips, talking about something utterly hilarious because they all broke into peals of laughter, their eyes and faces lighting up. I smiled secretly, happy that they were at least having fun and setting aside their differences.
Well you may not see me when you come by
I could be sharing someone else's pillow
And my love for you is better than diamonds
To you everything I bestow
And tomorrow I'll be dancing on my own
And I'll need a kiss for my head that's aching
And I'll be a hungry dog without a bone
Hoping my place with you's not taken
Mom, Dad, Mary-K and Aunt Eileen were coming in and out of the kitchen, setting up plates of delicious smelling food on the large dining room table - the place where we only eat if there's something special going on. My head swam with the scents that reached my nostrils, but there was still one person I wanted to know what he was doing…
Kiss me and tell me it's not broken
Kiss me and kiss me till I'm dead
See I'll give you the stars, from the bruised evenin' sky
And a crown of jewels for your head now
For your head now
And for your head now, and for your head
Hunter sat across from me, across the room in the other armchair. He had one leg crossed over the other, and was resting his head in one hand as he watched with amusement as Robbie and Bree were made fun of for making out in my parent's house. It was common knowledge that guys weren't allowed inside if the parents were home, and making out was a big no-no.
Still, as my eyes watched Hunter, I felt that pang again in my heart - I wanted to be with him so much, but I wasn't sure if this was my place, at least, now.
One last night in bed for a time
Two more wishes and both are for thine
And three guesses you're the angel's child
Four hopes that this love's not spoiled
Mom called us all to the dining room table, with me seated at the head. She dumped mashed potatoes in the pounds on my plate, with peas, kidney pie, Shepard's pie, Caesar salad, Goddess, it was everything I loved to eat. Everyone was piling the food on stacks on their plates, already going back for seconds after wolfing the first serving down.
Compliments to my mother and Aunt reached my ears through my veil - a veil that covered my thoughts from my face, but somehow kept me apart from everyone… until there was the question.
Kiss me and tell me it's not broken
Kiss me and kiss me till I'm dead
See I give you the stars, from the bruised evenin' sky
And a crown of jewels for your head now
For your head now
And for your head now, for your head now
"Morgan!" Jenna said, "How does it feel to be back in Widow's Vale?"
I swallowed my food and looked at her as I spoke. "Nice. It's good to be around the people I care about and love." One last time, at least.
"How long are you going to stay this time, Morgan? Hopefully tomorrow morning when we all wake up you won't have disappeared on us again," laughed Sharon.
I felt my stomach clench tightly together, and noticed that everyone went silent. My eyes darted from one face to another, taking in their hopeful and wistful expressions.
I suddenly stood, knocking the chair back and onto the ground. Then, I turned and ran upstairs, into my bedroom, locked the door and rushed into the bathroom, where I promptly threw up.
I wouldn't be able to lie to them directly. I never could.
And if you come back I'll take you to the garden
We'll dance to an orchestra on the lawn
And we roll in the foggy dew
And dance with the ghosts upon the dawn and on the dawn and on the dawn
Then you'll kiss me and tell me it's not broken
Kiss me and kiss me till I'm dead
See I give you the stars, from the bruised evenin' sky
And a crown of jewels for your head now
For your head now
And for your head now, for your head now
For your head now
I felt sick after that delightfully appetizing yet sickening dinner, and croaked to my mother and Mary-K that I felt sick, and was going to bed early that night. They didn't press me on the subject, and I didn't offer anything.
I heard them walk back downstairs, and tell everyone that I wasn't feeling well. I could ever feel Hunter trying to reach my mind, wondering what was wrong, but I put up my shields and didn't allow anyone in - mentally or physically.
I fell asleep that night with troubled thoughts. Should I stay or go? Things weren't going the best here, even though I felt so comfortable to be back with my family. There were things that were just too painful to have me stay.
When I woke up, I felt like I had never fallen asleep. I was tired and had a headache, so I went straight downstairs for a Tylenol. When I got there, I found my family sitting around the kitchen table, staring at me in my Wonder Woman panties and sweatshirt.
"Hi," I mumbled, not caring about my attire.
"Good morning," the rest of the family chirped unconsciously. I winced, but nonetheless, got a glass of water and Tylenol. As I leaned against the kitchen counter, I addressed them.
"Okay, spill it. What's on your mind?" I asked.
My father got a vague look on his face, my mother avoided my eyes, Aunt Eileen smiled softly at me while dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief, and Mary-K, and she was staring at me sadly, really.
"Morgan," said my mother finally, "Why don't you sit down, and have a family discussion?"
Sighing, and knowing where this was leading, I nodded and sat in the empty chair, facing my family. This time I knew that they were going to understand my reasons - for leaving Widow's Vale the last time.
Epilogue
New York, Columbus University - October 2003
One year later…
University life was so different that what I had expected, but with Killian and Ciaran helping me along the way, things were looking up.
After that day in Widow's Vale, I had sat down with my family, and this time, they were all for me leaving. I was no longer the same Morgan who had been banished from Kithic, the same Morgan from before her Wiccan days, but a new Morgan who lived in New York, knew how to party, dress, be independent… well, that was Morgan MacEwan. The other Morgans had died into my past, and weren't resurfacing.
Mary-K and I had sat in my room while I packed, talking and reminiscing about the days before everything was so different, but it only made the feeling of my leaving weirder. After I had packed and borrowed two more suitcases for my knickknacks, I placed them in dad's car. He was going to drive me to the bus station in the neighboring town, and as we all piled in and drove past the places where I grew up, I felt the hole in my heart get a bit bigger, and yet smaller at the same time.
I'd be leaving a part of me behind, I realized, and staring a new one in September. The idea was scary and mind boggling, but I liked it. However, when we drove past Hunter and Sky's old house… the pit in my stomach grew to its largest point. I felt like I was breaking in two, and nearly shouted, "STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!" but I controlled myself.
And never said goodbye to Hunter. My one regret.
October in New York was chilly. With brisk winds, staying outside was a big no way, and going to the library was out of the question. I didn't feel like going home just yet, so I stopped on my way to a nearby café.
The door chime rang as I stepped in, signaling another customer. Taking off my gloves and scarf, I glanced around and nearly overlooked the shocking head of pure blonde hair. My eyes dwelled on the young man some more, but as the line surged forward, so did I and my thoughts of him disappeared.
Ordering a frappe chino, I found an empty seat near the blonde guy. However, as I walked towards him, more and more of his features became obvious, and a familiar tingle ran down my spine.
As I stepped up beside the young man's seat, his eyes left the page of his book and looked into mine. Emerald met muddy brown-green and that all-familiar jolt (not from my java) hit me again.
I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to address him. Long ago I forgave him… now its time to say it.
I smiled and said, "Hello Hunter."
FIN