4 [Voice]

[knifetotheface]

So I know I'm not really hip to the gossip column in this damn place --

[There's a clicking heard -- the undeniable cocking of a gun.]

-- but someone want to fill me in on why the fuck Lucifer has a girlfriend --

[The sound of the gun being loaded -- the shells sliding into the barrel -- and a click as Jo closes it with a snap.]-- and whether or

Comments

[expunger]

Many of life's greatest mysteries will always remain unanswered, Joanna.

[knifetotheface]

Are you gonna hook up with that chick singing Beauty and the Beast next, 'cause if so, let me call the damn papers before the news breaks, 'cause I want my commission.

[expunger]

[Ewwwww but whatever. She has hit her give a fuck quotient for the day. Sob.]

Given the interesting idea of time here, there may well be laws against it.

[knifetotheface]

You're not telling me the name of a monster that's gonna make me forget about it, Raphael. Are you gonna be useful or not?

[ahandsomedevil]

On why he has--

What?!

[knifetotheface]

A girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. And not only does he have a girlfriend, he's dating some bitchskank who thinks it's okay to tell me that she's gonna skin me the next time she sees me, does she have any idea who I am?

[Not that Horst does... either, but WHAT THE FUCK EVER.]

[ahandsomedevil]

[He holds up a hand; give him a second, Jo, he's reeling here.]

Satan has a 'significant other'. Good Lord.

Not to touch what is undoubtedly still a raw nerve or a queasy memory, but how did you find out...?

[knifetotheface]

She told me.

[HORST, JO WANTS TO GO LOOK AT AN ANGEL AND HAVE HER EYES BURN OUT, THAT IS HOW DISGUSTING IT IS.]

[jackedthename]

Wait, wait, wait. Lucifer as in Satan? [Ohhhh boy. For a moment or two, he wonders if this Lucifer is connected with Abaddon, but -- he can find out that later, probably.]

...I'll go shooting with you, if you like.

[knifetotheface]

Lucifer. Satan. The Devil. Prince of Lies. World's Biggest Douchebag. That's him.

[Pause.]

-- you can shoot?

[jackedthename]

This place just gets more fun by the minute. [He rubs his temples a little.]

Of course I can. Crap military man I'd be, if I couldn't.

[knifetotheface]

... alright, let's see what you've got, then.

[x,y]

[Voice]

[knifetotheface]

You're telling me, sunshine.

[Voice]

[knifetotheface]

Stupid, desperate, has a death wish, is gonna miss all of her teeth once I get a hold of her -- take your pick.

[swordsinside]

He has a what.

[knifetotheface]

A girlfriend.

Gouge your eyes out now.

[swordsinside]

What in the name of... You sure she ain't possessed? [She just. Cannot wrap her mind around this concept otherwise.]

[knifetotheface]

I can go chuck holy water in her face if you want me to double-check.