Heart Pillow FO and notes!
If any of you picked up the Winter 2006/2007 ("The Love Issue") issue of knit.1, you probably saw the zany little anatomically correct pillow shaped like a human heart. My fiancé happens to be a sort of geeky, sciency, not-so-much-with-the-cutesy type of guy, who had heart surgery two years ago in an attempt to correct his Wolf-Parkinson-White syndrome (successfully, it seems). We had been dating less than a year at the time, and it was a pretty stressful thing to go through with him - sort of. Long story. Now that he's okay, we can smile and laugh about the experience. So when I found this pillow pattern, I knew it was just the thing to make him for Valentine's Day.
Yarn: Classic Elite Montera (as used in the pattern, in slightly different colors than called for), single-ply, worsted weight (roughly, I think).
Needles: Knitpicks' US 9 circulars and Lion Brand plastic US 9 dpns
Pattern: knit.1, Winter 2006/2007 issue
Cast on: Friday, 2/9/07
Finished: Monday, 2/12/07 (I worked on it pretty hardcore Sunday)
Notes: Okay. This is perhaps the worst pattern I have ever attempted to use. I don't know if there were major miscommunications between the author and the editor and the printers or what, but I had to modify this pattern so much that it would be easier to write out a new pattern than tell you what I corrected. (Since I'd rather not spawn a debate about what is plagiarism/copyright infringement and all that jazz, we'll just skim over that bit, yes?) The FO being clutched by the very sultry teenage model in the photo spread cannot be made from what they printed in the pattern. I feel fairly certain that some 3's were turned into 8's, some 7's into 4's (or vice-versa) and so forth.. Also, the construction instructions were basically, "look at the picture and put it together like that." Gee, thanks. Very helpful. (The site has no errata listed for this pattern either, so. Yeah.)
Examples of Bad:
1. You do not need two skeins of red, unless you follow the pattern as written, which you should not do if you want it to look at all like the pictures and diagrams. The instructions tell you to make a massively tall aorta and an extra atrium, and also to leave a 12" tail at the end of every piece, which is TOTALLY not necessary.
2. I could not get gauge to save my life. I used the same yarn, the recommended needle size, and swatched like a mad thing. Going up and down needle sizes only made the gauge discrepancies worse. With size 9's I got two too few rows, and two too many stitches per 4" square.
3. The ventricles (pink blob) should be at least twice as big to balance out the size of the arteries, even at the smaller sizes that I modified them to - if I made it again, I would do such.
4. You are instructed to make three atriums (red). (One left, and two right.) I think this is an editing mistake, largely because I only see one atrium at all in the magazine photo, and two on the diagram. That, or the editor/author is from somewhere other than Earth. Just sayin'.
5. The right atrium is three times the size of the left atrium, and shaped like the aorta. ......? I would recommend making two Left Atriums instead.
6. The aorta (red) is not shaped like an aorta. Mine is because I modified it that way.
7. The aorta is printed as over 80 rows tall. The next biggest is the superior vena cava (blue), which in the picture is nearly as tall as the aorta, but in the directions is only about 35 rows tall. Yeah. You do the math. My aorta got to be about 55 rows tall before I decided that was way too big for the little ventricles and decreased. My superior vena cava is about 55-60 rows as well, because I figured out pretty quick that that couldn't be right.
8. The artery size, generally speaking, is also WAY too big around for the ventricles, proportionately. If you make the ventricles bigger, that would be fine. Or, you could make the arteries skinnier and shorter, which I would recommend. As they are, they are the biggest part, which isn't at all anatomically correct according to teh intarwebz.
9. Leave enough of a tail at the beginning of each of the atriums/arteries/etc. to attach it to the ventricles (7-8" for skinny tubes, a solid 10-12" for the atriums). It isn't necessary to leave a 12" tail at the end of every tube unless you plan on attaching the tube upside-down, only enough to tuck it securely into the end. You don't need 12" for that; it is a waste of good yarn.
10. Every tube ends up with a little nipple on the end. Weak.
11. I continue to fail at embroidery. Silly perfectionism rearing its ugly head and making me feel inadequate. Sewing in general continues to be my weak point. Sadface. Doesn't help that the "diagram" for embroidering the arteries/veins is about the size of the bottom of a coffee mug and the ventricles as written are proportionately far too small to use Montera as the thread - there simply isn't enough of a blank canvas to sew on. On the other hand, by the time you get to this point you will have made so many modifications, you'll probably mostly free-hand it like I did and not regret it at all.
Examples of Good:
1. It is kooky. The people at work are amused, not to mention the recipient. And goodness knows, one can only work on so many socks/dishcloths/scarves/useful things before you want to splash out into absurdity. This is a great pattern for that.
2. The yarn is nice. It's a llama/wool blend that is only a little scratchy, but fine for a pillow.
3. It's a relatively quick knit.
4. I have a decent amount of yarn left over for random stashbusting projects, yay!
5. Be prepared to be asked by confused onlookers as to why you are knitting a cozy for boys' naughty bits. What a conversation-starter for crowded public places! And the atriums look like breasteses, so if you have a purse full of individual parts, it is a study in (borderline) obscenity.
6. This pattern could probably be easily converted into actual cozies for boys' naughty bits (or similarly-shaped...ahem..."power tools.") Bonus!
I could see myself doing this again, but with a yarn that doesn't shed quite as much (mercerized cotton, perhaps), and only really using the pictures and "diagrams" for inspiration. I'm pretty sure I could figure out a much more accurately-proportioned pattern if I sat down and thought about it for a while. Bigger ventricles for one thing, to make it more pillow-like.
Thump-thump! (Front View)
Left Side
Back View
Right Side
Right/Front View
Closeup of pulmonary artery and aorta
Closeup of Ventricle
Yarn: Classic Elite Montera (as used in the pattern, in slightly different colors than called for), single-ply, worsted weight (roughly, I think).
Needles: Knitpicks' US 9 circulars and Lion Brand plastic US 9 dpns
Pattern: knit.1, Winter 2006/2007 issue
Cast on: Friday, 2/9/07
Finished: Monday, 2/12/07 (I worked on it pretty hardcore Sunday)
Notes: Okay. This is perhaps the worst pattern I have ever attempted to use. I don't know if there were major miscommunications between the author and the editor and the printers or what, but I had to modify this pattern so much that it would be easier to write out a new pattern than tell you what I corrected. (Since I'd rather not spawn a debate about what is plagiarism/copyright infringement and all that jazz, we'll just skim over that bit, yes?) The FO being clutched by the very sultry teenage model in the photo spread cannot be made from what they printed in the pattern. I feel fairly certain that some 3's were turned into 8's, some 7's into 4's (or vice-versa) and so forth.. Also, the construction instructions were basically, "look at the picture and put it together like that." Gee, thanks. Very helpful. (The site has no errata listed for this pattern either, so. Yeah.)
Examples of Bad:
1. You do not need two skeins of red, unless you follow the pattern as written, which you should not do if you want it to look at all like the pictures and diagrams. The instructions tell you to make a massively tall aorta and an extra atrium, and also to leave a 12" tail at the end of every piece, which is TOTALLY not necessary.
2. I could not get gauge to save my life. I used the same yarn, the recommended needle size, and swatched like a mad thing. Going up and down needle sizes only made the gauge discrepancies worse. With size 9's I got two too few rows, and two too many stitches per 4" square.
3. The ventricles (pink blob) should be at least twice as big to balance out the size of the arteries, even at the smaller sizes that I modified them to - if I made it again, I would do such.
4. You are instructed to make three atriums (red). (One left, and two right.) I think this is an editing mistake, largely because I only see one atrium at all in the magazine photo, and two on the diagram. That, or the editor/author is from somewhere other than Earth. Just sayin'.
5. The right atrium is three times the size of the left atrium, and shaped like the aorta. ......? I would recommend making two Left Atriums instead.
6. The aorta (red) is not shaped like an aorta. Mine is because I modified it that way.
7. The aorta is printed as over 80 rows tall. The next biggest is the superior vena cava (blue), which in the picture is nearly as tall as the aorta, but in the directions is only about 35 rows tall. Yeah. You do the math. My aorta got to be about 55 rows tall before I decided that was way too big for the little ventricles and decreased. My superior vena cava is about 55-60 rows as well, because I figured out pretty quick that that couldn't be right.
8. The artery size, generally speaking, is also WAY too big around for the ventricles, proportionately. If you make the ventricles bigger, that would be fine. Or, you could make the arteries skinnier and shorter, which I would recommend. As they are, they are the biggest part, which isn't at all anatomically correct according to teh intarwebz.
9. Leave enough of a tail at the beginning of each of the atriums/arteries/etc. to attach it to the ventricles (7-8" for skinny tubes, a solid 10-12" for the atriums). It isn't necessary to leave a 12" tail at the end of every tube unless you plan on attaching the tube upside-down, only enough to tuck it securely into the end. You don't need 12" for that; it is a waste of good yarn.
10. Every tube ends up with a little nipple on the end. Weak.
11. I continue to fail at embroidery. Silly perfectionism rearing its ugly head and making me feel inadequate. Sewing in general continues to be my weak point. Sadface. Doesn't help that the "diagram" for embroidering the arteries/veins is about the size of the bottom of a coffee mug and the ventricles as written are proportionately far too small to use Montera as the thread - there simply isn't enough of a blank canvas to sew on. On the other hand, by the time you get to this point you will have made so many modifications, you'll probably mostly free-hand it like I did and not regret it at all.
Examples of Good:
1. It is kooky. The people at work are amused, not to mention the recipient. And goodness knows, one can only work on so many socks/dishcloths/scarves/useful things before you want to splash out into absurdity. This is a great pattern for that.
2. The yarn is nice. It's a llama/wool blend that is only a little scratchy, but fine for a pillow.
3. It's a relatively quick knit.
4. I have a decent amount of yarn left over for random stashbusting projects, yay!
5. Be prepared to be asked by confused onlookers as to why you are knitting a cozy for boys' naughty bits. What a conversation-starter for crowded public places! And the atriums look like breasteses, so if you have a purse full of individual parts, it is a study in (borderline) obscenity.
6. This pattern could probably be easily converted into actual cozies for boys' naughty bits (or similarly-shaped...ahem..."power tools.") Bonus!
I could see myself doing this again, but with a yarn that doesn't shed quite as much (mercerized cotton, perhaps), and only really using the pictures and "diagrams" for inspiration. I'm pretty sure I could figure out a much more accurately-proportioned pattern if I sat down and thought about it for a while. Bigger ventricles for one thing, to make it more pillow-like.
Thump-thump! (Front View)
Left Side
Back View
Right Side
Right/Front View
Closeup of pulmonary artery and aorta
Closeup of Ventricle