Merlin Fic: "Love Is A Grave Mental Disease"
Rather than working on the million other possibly decent Merlin fics I've got going, I wrote this instead.
Title: Love Is a Grave Mental Disease
Fandom: Merlin (BBC)
Rating: PG
Pairings: Arthur/Merlin
Warnings: Merlin being an idiot? Excessive fluff?
Word Count: 3,250
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, and make no money from this. This is purely for my own enjoyment. Everything belongs to the BBC.
Summary: Modern-day AU, in which Arthur tries to be romantic for Valentine's Day but everyone, including Merlin, thwarts him.
On Friday the 13th of February, Merlin made it approximately two hours at work before he started to consider killing himself the next time someone mentioned Valentine’s Day. He made it his job to tell everyone this, as loudly and as many times as possible. Whenever someone started to make any kind of reference to the next day in his presence, Merlin would conspicuously clear his throat and make motions like he was slitting his own wrists or hanging himself by his badly knotted tie.
“You’re just jealous,” one of the new interns at the office told him grumpily when he kept interrupting her gushing about the romantic weekend away she and her boyfriend had planned by wrapping his hands about his neck and pretending to suffocate. Loudly.
“Not really,” Merlin told her. Which was mostly true. He generally didn’t care for Valentine’s Day a huge amount. Mostly because it wasn’t worth the hassle trying to find a card that said something tasteful. Merlin had spent far too many hours in past years on that particular quest, to no avail. “I’m just sick and tired of hearing about it.” That was wholly true.
“Just because you’re not being whisked away anywhere romantic,” the intern said a little haughtily. She’d only been working there a few weeks, and hadn’t yet fallen for Merlin’s charm like everyone else had. “Wait, you aren’t, are you? Are you even seeing anyone?” She made a slight face that told him she’d probably fall over if he said yes.
Gwen, who was sitting nearby, started to laugh. The intern looked over at her, confused. “Are you kidding?” she said. “You really don’t pay attention, do you? Merlin’s been taken since university, and he’s about this far,“ she held her up her hand with the thumb and index finger about an inch apart, “from getting married.”
“No I am not!” Merlin said, outraged.
“If you get a permanent place here,” Gwen went on to the intern, cheerfully ignoring Merlin, “then you get to enter into the office bets. The most popular one is on when Merlin is going to get engaged.” In a stage whisper she said, “Mostly we do it to annoy him, but partly we’re all desperate for Merlin to get married ‘cause his other half is rich and the wedding would be amazing.”
<><><><>
When Merlin checked his phone at lunchtime, there was a message from Arthur. Just leaving the flat. Don’t have time to stop by your office to say bye, sorry. Ring me when you get to Hunith’s this evening, k?
Merlin took a moment to feel a little sorry for himself. He’d always secretly liked the fuss it caused whenever Arthur stopped by the office, and he kind of wanted to see the stuck-up intern’s face when she realised who Merlin’s rich other half was.
She’d probably disapprove just because it was Merlin. He could imagine her being outraged and saying, “You’re sleeping with the boss’ son?!” and making it sound sordid. Arthur didn’t even work at Pendragon Enterprises - he was the head of his own subsidiary company. Moreover, Merlin had landed this job without Arthur’s help.
He sent to Arthur, Okay. You let me know when you get to your hotel. See you Sunday.
Merlin really didn’t care about Valentine’s Day that much, but it was still a little annoying to listen to everyone else go on about it when he wouldn’t be seeing Arthur. Some genius had scheduled an important meeting for Saturday that Arthur couldn’t get out of, so he had to spend the Friday night and Saturday in Birmingham.
“I’m sorry,” Arthur had said, sounding charmingly heartfelt, after first reading the fax his secretary had sent. He was sitting up naked in bed, and Merlin took the opportunity to rub his nose against the pale skin of Arthur’s hip. It never failed to make Arthur shiver. As Merlin did so he’d wondered - not for the first time - if keeping the fax machine by the bed meant Arthur was a workaholic.
“It’s alright,” Merlin had told him, sliding an arm across Arthur’s thighs beneath the covers. “It sounds important. I’ll go and spend the day with mum instead.”
Arthur had had that wistful look on his face which said he quite liked the thought of spending the day with Merlin and his mother. Hunith and Arthur had taken an instant shine to each other that Merlin found quite sweet, but he would never admit it to Arthur.
“You always forget about Valentine’s Day anyway,” Merlin went on, already half-asleep. “It’s not a big deal.”
Arthur hadn’t said anything, and then Merlin was asleep.
<><><><>
Merlin left work and dropped briefly by the flat he and Arthur shared to get a quick snack and to pack his bag. The flat was quiet and lonely, so he didn’t spend long there before heading to the train station. At the station he phoned his mother to tell her when his train was due to arrive.
“I’m so excited to see you,” Hunith said down the phone. “I’m sorry Arthur couldn’t be with you for Valentine’s Day.”
“You mean you’re sorry he couldn’t come along with me to see you,” Merlin grouched. “You can’t fool me. Sometimes I think you love him more than you love me.”
“What’s not to love?” Hunith replied, and in his mind’s eye Merlin could easily see the teasing smile she’d have on her face. “Handsome, successful, polite - much better than that good-for-nothing son of mine.”
“Nice, mum,” Merlin told her, affecting a hurt tone. “You cut me deep. I’ll see you around ten, okay?”
“See you soon, love,” Hunith said.
<><><><>
Hunith didn’t come alone to meet Merlin at the train station. When he stepped out of the station, he spotted Will’s familiar form, grinning and waving wildly at him.
“It’s good to see you, mate!” Will said as he enveloped Merlin in a hug. “Good to know you London people have still got time for us simple country folk!”
“Of course I’ve still got time,” Merlin told him, stepping back to hug Hunith. He didn’t visit home as often as he liked, that much was true. But he and Arthur always made time to visit when they could. Merlin was surprised that Arthur accompanied him so often, considering that Will made it his job to antagonise Arthur as much as he could every time they met.
“I missed you, my boy,” Hunith whispered in his ear as she held him. Her eyes were shining when she pulled back to look up at him. Merlin kissed her forehead and hugged her to him again.
Will accompanied them home, and after Merlin called Arthur briefly, they sat in Hunith’s kitchen nursing mugs of tea as it began to rain outside. “I hear Pratface is working tomorrow,” Will said.
“He’s in Birmingham,” Merlin said, ignoring the nickname. Will had used it since the first time they’d met, and nothing Merlin could say would convince him to be nice. “Some possible merger with another company or something. Uther’s gone as well. They have to go do some wining and dining.”
“So this is, what, the fifth out of five possible Valentine’s Days where he’s either forgotten or had some excuse to get out of it?” Will’s tone was a little nasty - nastier than usual.
“Will,” Hunith said sharply.
Merlin had thought Will’s dislike of Arthur was mostly for show by now, so he was somewhat surprised by the genuine emotion in the other man’s voice. “I don’t mind,” Merlin said, and he sounded a little bewildered to his own ears. “I don’t need a manufactured holiday to know how he feels.”
Will pulled a face. “I just don’t get what you see in him. Besides the pretty face and the money.”
“I’ve got my own money, thank you,” Merlin said, offended, and then hit back, “And if I’d cared about looks so much I would never have gone out with you, would I?”
“Boys,” Hunith cut in, just as Will’s face went thunderous and he opened his mouth to say something back. “Will, it’s been five years, and you’d be a fool to deny that they love each other. You’re just going to have to get used to the fact that Merlin’s stuck with Arthur, and they’re probably going to end up married and adopting kids and-“
Will looked like he was going to be sick, and Merlin groaned and dropped his head onto the table with a thunk. “No, mum, not you, too.”
“What do you mean, ‘me too’?”
Will’s horrified voice said, “Oh my God, he hasn’t asked you to marry him, has he?!”
“No!” Merlin cried, lifting his head again, and caught the look of hope on his mother’s face that she didn’t hide quickly enough. “No, he has not asked me to marry him. It’s just that I found out today that the girls at the office are betting on when Arthur and I get engaged.”
“Please tell me you’d say ‘no’ if he ever asked,” Will pleaded.
“Who says it wouldn’t be me who asked him?” Merlin challenged. Will sneered.
“To be honest,” Hunith said, pausing to take a sip of her tea, “I’m surprised Arthur hasn’t asked you. When it was all being made legal, he seemed so into the idea. I was half-convinced he was going to get down on one knee the second it was legalised. Didn’t he donate a lot of money to groups campaigning for gay marriage?”
“Yeah, but come on, we were too young then.” Merlin had never told anyone that he had been half-convinced Arthur was going to ask him to marry him, and Merlin had been terrified. He hadn’t been ready at all.
Hunith raised her eyebrow at him, leaving the unspoken question in the air: But are you ready now? Merlin ignored her.
Will ended up staying the night, laying out a blow-up bed on the floor in Merlin’s room. They talked for a while, studiously avoiding the topic of Arthur, until just before they went to sleep, Will said, “Tell me you’re not planning on marrying that git, Merlin.”
“It’s not a marriage, anyway, it’s a civil partnership,” Merlin told him, eyes open and staring into the dark.
“You know what I mean.”
Merlin sighed. He thought briefly of Arthur, lying alone halfway across the country in a hotel. He’d got a text not long before, saying, Being in a double bed without Octopus Merlin to take up all the space is quite a novelty, you know. It had made him smile.
“Merlin? You’re not, are you? I know you’ve been with him for five years, and you’re already living together, but that doesn’t mean you have to get married.”
“Why does the whole marriage thing bother you so much?” Merlin asked.
Will didn’t answer for a moment. There was only the sound of their breathing, until he said, “It’s just so…permanent.”
Merlin really wished they weren’t having this conversation. It made him think of things Arthur had said before, after one particularly disastrous visit to Ealdor in which Will and Arthur had almost ended up in a fistfight. “You know what his problem with me is?” Arthur had said, incensed. “His problem is that he’s jealous. He never got over you, and now he resents that you’ve found someone else.” Despite Merlin’s protests, he’d been convinced of this ever since. Sometimes Merlin wondered, too.
<><><><>
Will went home the next morning, in only a slightly better mood. Merlin spent the morning out in the garden with Hunith helping her do the weeding, then they went in for stew - Merlin’s favourite. Then they went for a walk out in the village, enjoying the brisk February air. They walked up the hills and surveyed the countryside. Merlin had always loved doing this. There was something about the English countryside which just felt ancient, and if he stood there long enough he could almost feel himself becoming part of something bigger than himself, bigger than his petty worries and dreams, that just was, and always would be.
“I want to move out of London when I’m older,” Merlin confided. He watched sheep on a nearby hill huddle together for warmth. “Get a place out here somewhere. Maybe get some animals.”
“What about Arthur?”
“Oh, I’ll convince him somehow,” Merlin said, smiling. “I think it’s something he would want. He always goes on about how much he loved that time when we went camping in Wales, despite the fact that it rained most of the time. Sometimes I think London gets a bit too much for him.”
Hunith squeezed his hand lightly. “I’m sorry Will was being so awful,” she said after a moment.
“He can’t help it.” Merlin smiled down at her. “It’s alright. I know they’re never going to get on.”
“And you and Arthur are okay, aren’t you?”
“Yes, mum,” Merlin said ruefully. “Despite the fact that we’re not getting married, or adopting Somalian babies, and whatever else you seem to want us to be doing.”
Hunith punched him lightly in the arm. “I’m your mother, I’m supposed to want a big wedding and lots of grandchildren.”
“Seriously, can you imagine Arthur being a father?” Merlin asked incredulously. “Or me?”
Hunith smiled in a way which said, I really can.
<><><><>
They spent the evening eating tubs of ice-cream and drinking wine in front of the TV together. Merlin decided that, Arthur or no Arthur, it was a day well spent. He felt a little bit bad about enjoying himself so much, when he got back down from the hills and a message came through on his phone that read, I can’t stand sucking up to stupid businessmen. Happy Valentine’s Day.
By about eleven o’clock, they were both tired, and decided to get an early night. Merlin crawled into bed feeling full and happy, and lay on his back with his hands stroking over his distended belly, thinking fond thoughts of Ben & Jerry’s.
He was woken, fifty minutes later, by his phone ringing. Merlin groaned and flailed about, managing to knock his phone from the bedside table onto the floor before he finally got a hold of it. A picture of Arthur glowered out at him from the screen, and Merlin pressed the answer button with a throaty, “Hello?”
“Merlin,” Arthur said. “Did I wake you up?”
“Yeah, sorry. Me and mum were knackered so we went to bed early.” Merlin rubbed a hand over his eyes and tried to wake himself up. “Are you alright? How did today go?”
“As well as it could have gone,” Arthur said. “But more importantly, I’m standing outside your mum’s front door right now and I’m freezing, so could you possibly let me in?”
It took a moment for that to sink in, but when it did, Merlin said, “You’re outside? Right now?” in an embarrassingly high squeak.
“Right this minute, yes. Although I may die of cold if you don’t get your backside down here right now.”
Merlin stumbled down the stairs in his pyjamas and fumbled open the door. Arthur was indeed standing on the other side, in his best tailored suit with a duffel bag sitting at his feet. He shook his head when he saw Merlin. “You look a bit like a disgruntled kitten,” he said, managing to sound both disparaging and fond.
Merlin patted at his hair self-consciously. He felt a little bit wobbly from the wine. “I do not.”
“You do,” Arthur argued, picking up the bag and crowding Merlin back into the house. He shut the door behind him, and then gathered Merlin against him to say hello properly. Merlin wrapped an arm around Arthur’s neck and kissed him hungrily with an approving sound.
“You’ve been drinking,” Arthur mumbled against his mouth.
“Mm-hm,” Merlin hummed back. “Let’s go to bed before mum comes down to make sure we’re not burglars.”
Arthur followed Merlin up the stairs, rolling his eyes when Merlin stumbled and started to giggle to himself halfway up. Merlin went straight back to bed, crawling under the covers, and sleepily watched Arthur potter about the room, stripping off his suit jacket and laying it neatly over the back of a chair, and toeing off his shiny, expensive shoes.
Then Arthur sat on the edge of the bed, gazing down at him with the top buttons of his shirt undone. “I had plans for today, you know,” he admitted quietly. “For us.”
“Did you?” Merlin asked, surprised. “Oh, well. Some other time.” He patted the space he’d left beside him and said, “Come to bed, Arthur.”
Arthur looked strangely torn. “I had something I wanted to ask you. I’ve been thinking about it for ages and I wanted to do it today.” He looked briefly at his watch. “It’s 11:55 - I’ve still got 5 minutes before it’s not Valentine’s Day. So stay awake for 5 more minutes and let me do something romantic for once.”
Merlin groaned. He watched Arthur bend down to rummage through his bag, and said, “As long as you’re not going to propose, go ahead. But make it quick and come to bed.”
Arthur went very still. Merlin stared at him, at the expression on his face that said Merlin had just derailed him completely. “You weren’t about to propose to me, were you?”
Arthur sat up. “No, of course not,” he said, trying for nonchalant, but he seemed slightly panicked and wouldn’t look Merlin in the face.
Merlin pushed back the covers enough to hold out his arms. “Come here, you prat,” he said. Arthur looked at him warily - at his skinny, pyjama-clad chest rather than his face - but eventually slid into his arms, still dressed. Merlin tucked himself as tightly about the other man as he could, feeling Arthur’s arms come up around his back, gripping a little desperately.
“I thought you’d say yes,” Arthur whispered, sounding lost. “I really thought…”
“You complete idiot, of course I’m going to say yes,” Merlin told him. He stroked his hands up and down Arthur’s rigid back.
“Then why..?”
“Because I’ve just spent the last two days telling everyone we’re not about to get married. Gwen’s got a bet going on at the office, and my mother thinks we should be the next Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I’m Brad, by the way.”
There was a pause, which somehow quite effectively conveyed Arthur’s confusion. “And this is stopping you saying yes because..?”
Merlin thought about it for a second. “I don’t know. It made sense a minute ago.”
Arthur let out a long-suffering sigh. “Sometimes I wonder about your brain, Merlin.”
“Shut up. I’ve had a lot of wine. And ice cream. Probably the wine is more relevant.”
“Quite possibly. So, shall I ask you again in the morning?”
“I promise I’ll say yes,” Merlin said, grinning against Arthur’s forehead.
“I’m not sure I’ll bother now,” Arthur grumbled. He lifted his head and sought out Merlin’s mouth, perhaps for reassurance, and Merlin gave it to him happily. As it sank in, as the bubble of joy in his chest began to expand until he wasn’t sure he could contain it anymore, Merlin smiled into Arthur’s kisses. He thought a little wickedly about that intern at the office, about what her face would look like when Merlin handed her an invitation to the engagement party.
That alone might possibly be worth it.
<><><><>
It was totally worth it.
<><>END<><>
Author's Notes.
1. Er, I apologise? Send the bill my way if anyone's teeth did actually fall out from reading this. My excuse for this is that it's better to be writing something rather than nothing.
Title: Love Is a Grave Mental Disease
Fandom: Merlin (BBC)
Rating: PG
Pairings: Arthur/Merlin
Warnings: Merlin being an idiot? Excessive fluff?
Word Count: 3,250
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, and make no money from this. This is purely for my own enjoyment. Everything belongs to the BBC.
Summary: Modern-day AU, in which Arthur tries to be romantic for Valentine's Day but everyone, including Merlin, thwarts him.
On Friday the 13th of February, Merlin made it approximately two hours at work before he started to consider killing himself the next time someone mentioned Valentine’s Day. He made it his job to tell everyone this, as loudly and as many times as possible. Whenever someone started to make any kind of reference to the next day in his presence, Merlin would conspicuously clear his throat and make motions like he was slitting his own wrists or hanging himself by his badly knotted tie.
“You’re just jealous,” one of the new interns at the office told him grumpily when he kept interrupting her gushing about the romantic weekend away she and her boyfriend had planned by wrapping his hands about his neck and pretending to suffocate. Loudly.
“Not really,” Merlin told her. Which was mostly true. He generally didn’t care for Valentine’s Day a huge amount. Mostly because it wasn’t worth the hassle trying to find a card that said something tasteful. Merlin had spent far too many hours in past years on that particular quest, to no avail. “I’m just sick and tired of hearing about it.” That was wholly true.
“Just because you’re not being whisked away anywhere romantic,” the intern said a little haughtily. She’d only been working there a few weeks, and hadn’t yet fallen for Merlin’s charm like everyone else had. “Wait, you aren’t, are you? Are you even seeing anyone?” She made a slight face that told him she’d probably fall over if he said yes.
Gwen, who was sitting nearby, started to laugh. The intern looked over at her, confused. “Are you kidding?” she said. “You really don’t pay attention, do you? Merlin’s been taken since university, and he’s about this far,“ she held her up her hand with the thumb and index finger about an inch apart, “from getting married.”
“No I am not!” Merlin said, outraged.
“If you get a permanent place here,” Gwen went on to the intern, cheerfully ignoring Merlin, “then you get to enter into the office bets. The most popular one is on when Merlin is going to get engaged.” In a stage whisper she said, “Mostly we do it to annoy him, but partly we’re all desperate for Merlin to get married ‘cause his other half is rich and the wedding would be amazing.”
<><><><>
When Merlin checked his phone at lunchtime, there was a message from Arthur. Just leaving the flat. Don’t have time to stop by your office to say bye, sorry. Ring me when you get to Hunith’s this evening, k?
Merlin took a moment to feel a little sorry for himself. He’d always secretly liked the fuss it caused whenever Arthur stopped by the office, and he kind of wanted to see the stuck-up intern’s face when she realised who Merlin’s rich other half was.
She’d probably disapprove just because it was Merlin. He could imagine her being outraged and saying, “You’re sleeping with the boss’ son?!” and making it sound sordid. Arthur didn’t even work at Pendragon Enterprises - he was the head of his own subsidiary company. Moreover, Merlin had landed this job without Arthur’s help.
He sent to Arthur, Okay. You let me know when you get to your hotel. See you Sunday.
Merlin really didn’t care about Valentine’s Day that much, but it was still a little annoying to listen to everyone else go on about it when he wouldn’t be seeing Arthur. Some genius had scheduled an important meeting for Saturday that Arthur couldn’t get out of, so he had to spend the Friday night and Saturday in Birmingham.
“I’m sorry,” Arthur had said, sounding charmingly heartfelt, after first reading the fax his secretary had sent. He was sitting up naked in bed, and Merlin took the opportunity to rub his nose against the pale skin of Arthur’s hip. It never failed to make Arthur shiver. As Merlin did so he’d wondered - not for the first time - if keeping the fax machine by the bed meant Arthur was a workaholic.
“It’s alright,” Merlin had told him, sliding an arm across Arthur’s thighs beneath the covers. “It sounds important. I’ll go and spend the day with mum instead.”
Arthur had had that wistful look on his face which said he quite liked the thought of spending the day with Merlin and his mother. Hunith and Arthur had taken an instant shine to each other that Merlin found quite sweet, but he would never admit it to Arthur.
“You always forget about Valentine’s Day anyway,” Merlin went on, already half-asleep. “It’s not a big deal.”
Arthur hadn’t said anything, and then Merlin was asleep.
<><><><>
Merlin left work and dropped briefly by the flat he and Arthur shared to get a quick snack and to pack his bag. The flat was quiet and lonely, so he didn’t spend long there before heading to the train station. At the station he phoned his mother to tell her when his train was due to arrive.
“I’m so excited to see you,” Hunith said down the phone. “I’m sorry Arthur couldn’t be with you for Valentine’s Day.”
“You mean you’re sorry he couldn’t come along with me to see you,” Merlin grouched. “You can’t fool me. Sometimes I think you love him more than you love me.”
“What’s not to love?” Hunith replied, and in his mind’s eye Merlin could easily see the teasing smile she’d have on her face. “Handsome, successful, polite - much better than that good-for-nothing son of mine.”
“Nice, mum,” Merlin told her, affecting a hurt tone. “You cut me deep. I’ll see you around ten, okay?”
“See you soon, love,” Hunith said.
<><><><>
Hunith didn’t come alone to meet Merlin at the train station. When he stepped out of the station, he spotted Will’s familiar form, grinning and waving wildly at him.
“It’s good to see you, mate!” Will said as he enveloped Merlin in a hug. “Good to know you London people have still got time for us simple country folk!”
“Of course I’ve still got time,” Merlin told him, stepping back to hug Hunith. He didn’t visit home as often as he liked, that much was true. But he and Arthur always made time to visit when they could. Merlin was surprised that Arthur accompanied him so often, considering that Will made it his job to antagonise Arthur as much as he could every time they met.
“I missed you, my boy,” Hunith whispered in his ear as she held him. Her eyes were shining when she pulled back to look up at him. Merlin kissed her forehead and hugged her to him again.
Will accompanied them home, and after Merlin called Arthur briefly, they sat in Hunith’s kitchen nursing mugs of tea as it began to rain outside. “I hear Pratface is working tomorrow,” Will said.
“He’s in Birmingham,” Merlin said, ignoring the nickname. Will had used it since the first time they’d met, and nothing Merlin could say would convince him to be nice. “Some possible merger with another company or something. Uther’s gone as well. They have to go do some wining and dining.”
“So this is, what, the fifth out of five possible Valentine’s Days where he’s either forgotten or had some excuse to get out of it?” Will’s tone was a little nasty - nastier than usual.
“Will,” Hunith said sharply.
Merlin had thought Will’s dislike of Arthur was mostly for show by now, so he was somewhat surprised by the genuine emotion in the other man’s voice. “I don’t mind,” Merlin said, and he sounded a little bewildered to his own ears. “I don’t need a manufactured holiday to know how he feels.”
Will pulled a face. “I just don’t get what you see in him. Besides the pretty face and the money.”
“I’ve got my own money, thank you,” Merlin said, offended, and then hit back, “And if I’d cared about looks so much I would never have gone out with you, would I?”
“Boys,” Hunith cut in, just as Will’s face went thunderous and he opened his mouth to say something back. “Will, it’s been five years, and you’d be a fool to deny that they love each other. You’re just going to have to get used to the fact that Merlin’s stuck with Arthur, and they’re probably going to end up married and adopting kids and-“
Will looked like he was going to be sick, and Merlin groaned and dropped his head onto the table with a thunk. “No, mum, not you, too.”
“What do you mean, ‘me too’?”
Will’s horrified voice said, “Oh my God, he hasn’t asked you to marry him, has he?!”
“No!” Merlin cried, lifting his head again, and caught the look of hope on his mother’s face that she didn’t hide quickly enough. “No, he has not asked me to marry him. It’s just that I found out today that the girls at the office are betting on when Arthur and I get engaged.”
“Please tell me you’d say ‘no’ if he ever asked,” Will pleaded.
“Who says it wouldn’t be me who asked him?” Merlin challenged. Will sneered.
“To be honest,” Hunith said, pausing to take a sip of her tea, “I’m surprised Arthur hasn’t asked you. When it was all being made legal, he seemed so into the idea. I was half-convinced he was going to get down on one knee the second it was legalised. Didn’t he donate a lot of money to groups campaigning for gay marriage?”
“Yeah, but come on, we were too young then.” Merlin had never told anyone that he had been half-convinced Arthur was going to ask him to marry him, and Merlin had been terrified. He hadn’t been ready at all.
Hunith raised her eyebrow at him, leaving the unspoken question in the air: But are you ready now? Merlin ignored her.
Will ended up staying the night, laying out a blow-up bed on the floor in Merlin’s room. They talked for a while, studiously avoiding the topic of Arthur, until just before they went to sleep, Will said, “Tell me you’re not planning on marrying that git, Merlin.”
“It’s not a marriage, anyway, it’s a civil partnership,” Merlin told him, eyes open and staring into the dark.
“You know what I mean.”
Merlin sighed. He thought briefly of Arthur, lying alone halfway across the country in a hotel. He’d got a text not long before, saying, Being in a double bed without Octopus Merlin to take up all the space is quite a novelty, you know. It had made him smile.
“Merlin? You’re not, are you? I know you’ve been with him for five years, and you’re already living together, but that doesn’t mean you have to get married.”
“Why does the whole marriage thing bother you so much?” Merlin asked.
Will didn’t answer for a moment. There was only the sound of their breathing, until he said, “It’s just so…permanent.”
Merlin really wished they weren’t having this conversation. It made him think of things Arthur had said before, after one particularly disastrous visit to Ealdor in which Will and Arthur had almost ended up in a fistfight. “You know what his problem with me is?” Arthur had said, incensed. “His problem is that he’s jealous. He never got over you, and now he resents that you’ve found someone else.” Despite Merlin’s protests, he’d been convinced of this ever since. Sometimes Merlin wondered, too.
<><><><>
Will went home the next morning, in only a slightly better mood. Merlin spent the morning out in the garden with Hunith helping her do the weeding, then they went in for stew - Merlin’s favourite. Then they went for a walk out in the village, enjoying the brisk February air. They walked up the hills and surveyed the countryside. Merlin had always loved doing this. There was something about the English countryside which just felt ancient, and if he stood there long enough he could almost feel himself becoming part of something bigger than himself, bigger than his petty worries and dreams, that just was, and always would be.
“I want to move out of London when I’m older,” Merlin confided. He watched sheep on a nearby hill huddle together for warmth. “Get a place out here somewhere. Maybe get some animals.”
“What about Arthur?”
“Oh, I’ll convince him somehow,” Merlin said, smiling. “I think it’s something he would want. He always goes on about how much he loved that time when we went camping in Wales, despite the fact that it rained most of the time. Sometimes I think London gets a bit too much for him.”
Hunith squeezed his hand lightly. “I’m sorry Will was being so awful,” she said after a moment.
“He can’t help it.” Merlin smiled down at her. “It’s alright. I know they’re never going to get on.”
“And you and Arthur are okay, aren’t you?”
“Yes, mum,” Merlin said ruefully. “Despite the fact that we’re not getting married, or adopting Somalian babies, and whatever else you seem to want us to be doing.”
Hunith punched him lightly in the arm. “I’m your mother, I’m supposed to want a big wedding and lots of grandchildren.”
“Seriously, can you imagine Arthur being a father?” Merlin asked incredulously. “Or me?”
Hunith smiled in a way which said, I really can.
<><><><>
They spent the evening eating tubs of ice-cream and drinking wine in front of the TV together. Merlin decided that, Arthur or no Arthur, it was a day well spent. He felt a little bit bad about enjoying himself so much, when he got back down from the hills and a message came through on his phone that read, I can’t stand sucking up to stupid businessmen. Happy Valentine’s Day.
By about eleven o’clock, they were both tired, and decided to get an early night. Merlin crawled into bed feeling full and happy, and lay on his back with his hands stroking over his distended belly, thinking fond thoughts of Ben & Jerry’s.
He was woken, fifty minutes later, by his phone ringing. Merlin groaned and flailed about, managing to knock his phone from the bedside table onto the floor before he finally got a hold of it. A picture of Arthur glowered out at him from the screen, and Merlin pressed the answer button with a throaty, “Hello?”
“Merlin,” Arthur said. “Did I wake you up?”
“Yeah, sorry. Me and mum were knackered so we went to bed early.” Merlin rubbed a hand over his eyes and tried to wake himself up. “Are you alright? How did today go?”
“As well as it could have gone,” Arthur said. “But more importantly, I’m standing outside your mum’s front door right now and I’m freezing, so could you possibly let me in?”
It took a moment for that to sink in, but when it did, Merlin said, “You’re outside? Right now?” in an embarrassingly high squeak.
“Right this minute, yes. Although I may die of cold if you don’t get your backside down here right now.”
Merlin stumbled down the stairs in his pyjamas and fumbled open the door. Arthur was indeed standing on the other side, in his best tailored suit with a duffel bag sitting at his feet. He shook his head when he saw Merlin. “You look a bit like a disgruntled kitten,” he said, managing to sound both disparaging and fond.
Merlin patted at his hair self-consciously. He felt a little bit wobbly from the wine. “I do not.”
“You do,” Arthur argued, picking up the bag and crowding Merlin back into the house. He shut the door behind him, and then gathered Merlin against him to say hello properly. Merlin wrapped an arm around Arthur’s neck and kissed him hungrily with an approving sound.
“You’ve been drinking,” Arthur mumbled against his mouth.
“Mm-hm,” Merlin hummed back. “Let’s go to bed before mum comes down to make sure we’re not burglars.”
Arthur followed Merlin up the stairs, rolling his eyes when Merlin stumbled and started to giggle to himself halfway up. Merlin went straight back to bed, crawling under the covers, and sleepily watched Arthur potter about the room, stripping off his suit jacket and laying it neatly over the back of a chair, and toeing off his shiny, expensive shoes.
Then Arthur sat on the edge of the bed, gazing down at him with the top buttons of his shirt undone. “I had plans for today, you know,” he admitted quietly. “For us.”
“Did you?” Merlin asked, surprised. “Oh, well. Some other time.” He patted the space he’d left beside him and said, “Come to bed, Arthur.”
Arthur looked strangely torn. “I had something I wanted to ask you. I’ve been thinking about it for ages and I wanted to do it today.” He looked briefly at his watch. “It’s 11:55 - I’ve still got 5 minutes before it’s not Valentine’s Day. So stay awake for 5 more minutes and let me do something romantic for once.”
Merlin groaned. He watched Arthur bend down to rummage through his bag, and said, “As long as you’re not going to propose, go ahead. But make it quick and come to bed.”
Arthur went very still. Merlin stared at him, at the expression on his face that said Merlin had just derailed him completely. “You weren’t about to propose to me, were you?”
Arthur sat up. “No, of course not,” he said, trying for nonchalant, but he seemed slightly panicked and wouldn’t look Merlin in the face.
Merlin pushed back the covers enough to hold out his arms. “Come here, you prat,” he said. Arthur looked at him warily - at his skinny, pyjama-clad chest rather than his face - but eventually slid into his arms, still dressed. Merlin tucked himself as tightly about the other man as he could, feeling Arthur’s arms come up around his back, gripping a little desperately.
“I thought you’d say yes,” Arthur whispered, sounding lost. “I really thought…”
“You complete idiot, of course I’m going to say yes,” Merlin told him. He stroked his hands up and down Arthur’s rigid back.
“Then why..?”
“Because I’ve just spent the last two days telling everyone we’re not about to get married. Gwen’s got a bet going on at the office, and my mother thinks we should be the next Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I’m Brad, by the way.”
There was a pause, which somehow quite effectively conveyed Arthur’s confusion. “And this is stopping you saying yes because..?”
Merlin thought about it for a second. “I don’t know. It made sense a minute ago.”
Arthur let out a long-suffering sigh. “Sometimes I wonder about your brain, Merlin.”
“Shut up. I’ve had a lot of wine. And ice cream. Probably the wine is more relevant.”
“Quite possibly. So, shall I ask you again in the morning?”
“I promise I’ll say yes,” Merlin said, grinning against Arthur’s forehead.
“I’m not sure I’ll bother now,” Arthur grumbled. He lifted his head and sought out Merlin’s mouth, perhaps for reassurance, and Merlin gave it to him happily. As it sank in, as the bubble of joy in his chest began to expand until he wasn’t sure he could contain it anymore, Merlin smiled into Arthur’s kisses. He thought a little wickedly about that intern at the office, about what her face would look like when Merlin handed her an invitation to the engagement party.
That alone might possibly be worth it.
<><><><>
It was totally worth it.
<><>END<><>
Author's Notes.
1. Er, I apologise? Send the bill my way if anyone's teeth did actually fall out from reading this. My excuse for this is that it's better to be writing something rather than nothing.