For someone who claims they can't write this fandom, you did an awesome job here, you know. XDDDDD
I really liked the way you structured this, and the insights you gave. And the sex was hot, of course, but I actually liked the beginning best with this begrudging, "You are an utter moron and I'm pretending not to care for you only I kind of do." It just made me smile.
And I don't know if I'm supposed to say anything, or if I'm stepping over a line here, but... one thing I didn't like so much was the "I love you" at the end. I admit it's very much a personal preference on my part, and I'm not one of those people who go "ZOMG CHARACTER X WOULD NEVER SAY THAT", because what's to say they don't? The reason I didn't like it was because it seemed like a bit of a crutch to me. I think one can easily sense Allen's feelings without those words, so their use surprised me a little.
Sorry. Like I said, that's just my personal impression. Please don't hurt me?
Yeah I totally agree with you - I should have taken that last bit out or changed it somehow. It was just some weird personal goal I had with this fic to see if I could pull it off because it's so difficult to do (especially with a pairing like this).
Hey, it's not like this is a tragic thing or anything. And I agree, it's very hard to pull it off, especially with those two and Kanda's RAWRHISS attitude. But I think you captured their relationship very well, regardless. I love this sense of understanding I get from it, how they tease and hiss at each other and you can still see they care. So yeah. This totally made my evening. ♥
I fall in love with you a little more with each fic post.
The way you wrote Kanda's assholeness and Allen's earthiness is just lovely. (I wish I could give you more solid feedback, but really all I can think about now is stopping by the bookstore and finally picking up my own copies of the manga.)
Oh man, you are so right. Kanda is horrible to write because he's so mysterious and hard to keep in character. Well, at least where love is involved. I can't really see canon Kanda falling in love with anyone without a hell of a fight, but I think you pulled it off nicely. I really like this, although Allen might be portrayed a *tad* too passive for my liking.
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I really liked the way you structured this, and the insights you gave. And the sex was hot, of course, but I actually liked the beginning best with this begrudging, "You are an utter moron and I'm pretending not to care for you only I kind of do." It just made me smile.
And I don't know if I'm supposed to say anything, or if I'm stepping over a line here, but... one thing I didn't like so much was the "I love you" at the end. I admit it's very much a personal preference on my part, and I'm not one of those people who go "ZOMG CHARACTER X WOULD NEVER SAY THAT", because what's to say they don't? The reason I didn't like it was because it seemed like a bit of a crutch to me. I think one can easily sense Allen's feelings without those words, so their use surprised me a little.
Sorry. Like I said, that's just my personal impression. Please don't hurt me?
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Thanks for giving me honest feedback :D
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The way you wrote Kanda's assholeness and Allen's earthiness is just lovely. (I wish I could give you more solid feedback, but really all I can think about now is stopping by the bookstore and finally picking up my own copies of the manga.)
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I need to work on Allen more. With this I think I was so concerned with trying to make Kanda IC that I kind of neglected Allen :(
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I loved the “I’m going to say it.” / “You don’t have to warn me.” part. ^___^
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And yeah I agree with you about Allen. I think I was concentrating so hard on trying to keep Kanda IC that I forgot about Allen slightly :(
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