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I'm a mediocre musician, and I don't work half as much as I should. I'm frustrated with myself. I should be more dedicated. I should be applying myself. It's hard to talk to people about feeling frustrated because they like to make excuses for me that I don't buy. I really wish I didn't have to work - then I could actually practice every day. I
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Think about what you're saying and how demeaning it is to yourself. Would you let anyone else say these things about you? To your face? Would you ever say them about someone else?
Try to really think about why you feel lazy, what is it about your skills and talents that you don't like? What DO you like? What can you do differently that won't hurt you physically, emotionally, or mentally.
Really think about what you're saying to yourself about yourself. It seems to me there's a little bit of hurt and shame somewhere in there, and those things will make you feel like you need to work harder, but I doubt they'll do much in practice.
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