When the kitchen floor looks dirty, I like to sprinkle a little cornmeal onto the trouble spots. This results in the dogs rapidly licking the floor clean. Feel free to use this tip in your own home!

Dear Olympics,

You are not interesting and I want you to be over so I can watch Chuck again.

Thanks,
Jessie

Today I went to look at a house. We have been trying to buy a house for a few months, and every time we think we've found "IT" something happens to delay the process and someone else gets the house. We scrap our ideas and bounce back, only to have it happen again. So today I went to go to look at a house and I was nervous because I had to go ( Read more... )

I don't really like to repeat jokes. For one thing, I'm really bad at telling jokes. I have heard so many great jokes in my life (especially dirty ones! I have probably heard them all!) but I can't ever share them because I am a horrible story teller. I always botch the punchline, assuming I ever get to it, and I never start at the beginning. ( Read more... )

Most of the time I don't like my glasses. The prescription is outdated, my hair gets caught in the frames, and there are a million little scratches on them that make everything look cloudy, and not in a good way. I think if it could just be cloudy around the edges then I could pretend that life was just one long dream sequence and I would feel ( Read more... )

My plan for this weekend involves learning to hip hop dance by watching crappy youtube instructional videos.

One of my biggest fears in life is that a spider is going to lay eggs under my skin and then one day a million little spider babies are going to erupt out of a boil placed somewhere on my body that I must not have noticed. At the same time, I think that this would be kind of exciting. I guess that's fear for you.

There is something that has bothered me for, literally, YEARS and I'm at a point where if I don't get it off my chest I'm going to, literally, die. Just... die ( Read more... )

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I am rarely surprised by a person's handwriting. Not that someone's handwriting could really shock anyone, I guess... but you can always tell who is going to have terrible handwriting.