[Fic] Infinity (Takki x Tsubasa)
Title: Infinity
Author: kohee
Pairing: Takizawa Hideaki x Imai Tsubasa
Summary: It may be possible to believe that they might be losing their infinity.
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Author's note: At the end because I ramble. Please excuse the weirdness of this very short piece.
They have been spending too much time apart lately, and Tsubasa wonders if Takizawa realises that. Perhaps he has not, with new commercials and a whole new stage show to prepare for - and Takizawa is a notorious workaholic that forgets to eat, sleep or breathe anything that is not work. Tsubasa has his own solo concerts and dance shows and he has been kept busy - but it is all apart from Takizawa and that makes his world seem somehow uneven.
There has been too little Tackey & Tsubasa, too much of Takizawa and Tsubasa, too little of them together, too much of them apart. It feels strangely unfamiliar and yet, at some level, almost horrifyingly routine, and it scares him because he knows despite the solo successes and despite everything, he needs it to be them because it just has to be.
Solo work is an opportunity, as Johnny-san calls it, opportunities for them to grow and flourish in their careers. Tsubasa sees it as a danger signal, a move to gradually move them apart, maybe. He does not know how Takizawa sees it.
They are supposed to be infinite together and that is what he wants, always wanted and will always want, but he wonders if he is the only one holding onto infinity. He doesn't want to be the only one because he thinks he is not strong enough to do it by himself. He is never the strong one after all.
He blurts out those thoughts during a somewhat rare occasion of a dinner together, in which where Takizawa had just completed the shoot for his solo music video, where Tsubasa's solo tour for the next year had just been announced, where plans for any unit activity seems to be non-existent, at least, not in any kind of near future.
He asks Takizawa whether are they disappearing and he holds his breath, waiting for the reassurance that he desperately needs. He needs Takizawa to tell him that everything is going to be all right, if not the same.
Takizawa frowns and calls him an idiot, and he says of course they are not going to be apart, of course they are not disappearing, and he continues to say all the right words, but he does that while poring over his script and smoking a cigarette, smiling at Tsubasa, his smile is affectionate and sincere, and it reaches his eyes.
And he knows that Takizawa does not share his concerns, Takizawa does not even realise or think that something is different or troubling, and that he is the only one working his mind overtime worrying, and worrying some more.
Takizawa is oblivious and Tsubasa does not know whether to feel relieved or angry, or to laugh or cry or perhaps do both because he does not know what or how to think. He thinks they may have started to lose their understanding for each other and he remembers how once upon a time, that does not seem possible.
Tsubasa suddenly feels that the room is too small for him, for them, and he needs to get away so he stands up and leaves. Takizawa looks up in shock and grabs his arm, but he shrugs off his hand and heads for the door.
He does not look back as he walks away from Takizawa and exits into the winter snow.
The night is cold and the sky is starless, and he thinks they sort of mirror his heart.
-
He has barely hung up his coat when he hears the knock on his door. He knows who it is, and he hesitates as he fleetingly considers not opening the door, but that avoidance will only be temporary so he does not see the point. He slowly opens the door and sees Takizawa standing at his doorstep, snowflakes in his hair and clarity in his eyes.
“Tsubasa.”
He does not invite him in and he does not speak; he merely leans against the door frame and listens.
Takizawa takes a step forward and grips his shoulders, his voice clear and strong. “It is always going to be us.”
He sees Takizawa's heart in his eyes, frank and open and determined, and he realises that Takizawa was not oblivious. Takizawa merely believes in forever because he never even thought about the possibility that there might not be a forever.
Tsubasa's throat closes up and he cannot manage to say a single word but because it is them (it will always, always be them), he thinks Takizawa understands.
No, he knows Takizawa will understand, and Takizawa does.
“I love you.” He says, and he moves his hands to Tsubasa's face, drawing him close and kissing him firmly on the mouth.
That night, as he closes his eyes, Tsubasa breathes and dreams of infinity.
-----
- end -
Note: Okay, I have not written like in a jillion eons because I was trying to survive clinical year at medical school. Sadly, its bid to kill me was unsuccessful but I am sure it will try again in full force next year and it might just succeed, the bastard. In meantime, I have two months off to try and write and be weird again and I have unfinished fic and more fic ideas and ficathon to write for. So I do hope to be able to do that because that is my idea of a nice holiday.
As for how the vignette above came about - it was written with my woe-ing over the utter lack of unit activities in the past two months. It depressed me when I finally had the free time to check up on T&T and realise that nothing has been happening unit wise thus one less reward for my constant suffering because of screaming kids (paediatrics ugh...and yes I suck with children so shoot me), and depressed me further when I realise I have nothing to look forward to unit wise for the next two months. Hence this because despite lack of unit activities, I believe they are still totally in love kthxbye.
Shutting up now and comments are lots of ♥ and much appreciated, and if you want to stone/burn/stab/kill me for weird ideas, please do.
Author: kohee
Pairing: Takizawa Hideaki x Imai Tsubasa
Summary: It may be possible to believe that they might be losing their infinity.
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Author's note: At the end because I ramble. Please excuse the weirdness of this very short piece.
They have been spending too much time apart lately, and Tsubasa wonders if Takizawa realises that. Perhaps he has not, with new commercials and a whole new stage show to prepare for - and Takizawa is a notorious workaholic that forgets to eat, sleep or breathe anything that is not work. Tsubasa has his own solo concerts and dance shows and he has been kept busy - but it is all apart from Takizawa and that makes his world seem somehow uneven.
There has been too little Tackey & Tsubasa, too much of Takizawa and Tsubasa, too little of them together, too much of them apart. It feels strangely unfamiliar and yet, at some level, almost horrifyingly routine, and it scares him because he knows despite the solo successes and despite everything, he needs it to be them because it just has to be.
Solo work is an opportunity, as Johnny-san calls it, opportunities for them to grow and flourish in their careers. Tsubasa sees it as a danger signal, a move to gradually move them apart, maybe. He does not know how Takizawa sees it.
They are supposed to be infinite together and that is what he wants, always wanted and will always want, but he wonders if he is the only one holding onto infinity. He doesn't want to be the only one because he thinks he is not strong enough to do it by himself. He is never the strong one after all.
He blurts out those thoughts during a somewhat rare occasion of a dinner together, in which where Takizawa had just completed the shoot for his solo music video, where Tsubasa's solo tour for the next year had just been announced, where plans for any unit activity seems to be non-existent, at least, not in any kind of near future.
He asks Takizawa whether are they disappearing and he holds his breath, waiting for the reassurance that he desperately needs. He needs Takizawa to tell him that everything is going to be all right, if not the same.
Takizawa frowns and calls him an idiot, and he says of course they are not going to be apart, of course they are not disappearing, and he continues to say all the right words, but he does that while poring over his script and smoking a cigarette, smiling at Tsubasa, his smile is affectionate and sincere, and it reaches his eyes.
And he knows that Takizawa does not share his concerns, Takizawa does not even realise or think that something is different or troubling, and that he is the only one working his mind overtime worrying, and worrying some more.
Takizawa is oblivious and Tsubasa does not know whether to feel relieved or angry, or to laugh or cry or perhaps do both because he does not know what or how to think. He thinks they may have started to lose their understanding for each other and he remembers how once upon a time, that does not seem possible.
Tsubasa suddenly feels that the room is too small for him, for them, and he needs to get away so he stands up and leaves. Takizawa looks up in shock and grabs his arm, but he shrugs off his hand and heads for the door.
He does not look back as he walks away from Takizawa and exits into the winter snow.
The night is cold and the sky is starless, and he thinks they sort of mirror his heart.
-
He has barely hung up his coat when he hears the knock on his door. He knows who it is, and he hesitates as he fleetingly considers not opening the door, but that avoidance will only be temporary so he does not see the point. He slowly opens the door and sees Takizawa standing at his doorstep, snowflakes in his hair and clarity in his eyes.
“Tsubasa.”
He does not invite him in and he does not speak; he merely leans against the door frame and listens.
Takizawa takes a step forward and grips his shoulders, his voice clear and strong. “It is always going to be us.”
He sees Takizawa's heart in his eyes, frank and open and determined, and he realises that Takizawa was not oblivious. Takizawa merely believes in forever because he never even thought about the possibility that there might not be a forever.
Tsubasa's throat closes up and he cannot manage to say a single word but because it is them (it will always, always be them), he thinks Takizawa understands.
No, he knows Takizawa will understand, and Takizawa does.
“I love you.” He says, and he moves his hands to Tsubasa's face, drawing him close and kissing him firmly on the mouth.
That night, as he closes his eyes, Tsubasa breathes and dreams of infinity.
-----
- end -
Note: Okay, I have not written like in a jillion eons because I was trying to survive clinical year at medical school. Sadly, its bid to kill me was unsuccessful but I am sure it will try again in full force next year and it might just succeed, the bastard. In meantime, I have two months off to try and write and be weird again and I have unfinished fic and more fic ideas and ficathon to write for. So I do hope to be able to do that because that is my idea of a nice holiday.
As for how the vignette above came about - it was written with my woe-ing over the utter lack of unit activities in the past two months. It depressed me when I finally had the free time to check up on T&T and realise that nothing has been happening unit wise thus one less reward for my constant suffering because of screaming kids (paediatrics ugh...and yes I suck with children so shoot me), and depressed me further when I realise I have nothing to look forward to unit wise for the next two months. Hence this because despite lack of unit activities, I believe they are still totally in love kthxbye.
Shutting up now and comments are lots of ♥ and much appreciated, and if you want to stone/burn/stab/kill me for weird ideas, please do.