[FIC ENG] For the Ghosts of our Time
Title: For the Ghosts of our Time
Pairing: HoSu
Genre: Angst
Lenght: One-shot
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Mayor Character Death
Summary: A promise is a promise, no matter what. Junsu sees Yunho one last time...
-o-
Now that I’ve become aware […]
Like part of me had died…
[Through her eyes, Dream Theater]
Junsu really didn't know what is worse, the fracture on his leg...with a constant, pulsing and agonizing pain, or the fever that got into him by the infection. He really didn't think that it could be that bad, he barely felt the throbbing pain caused by a wrong step, but then...the complications came, the sudden inflamation of his leg and finally..the infection. He spent days and nights in the hospital restless, haunted by feverish dreams. Most of the time he dreamed with past times, times when he was younger, training to become an idol…when he was...happy. At the end, none of those dreams ended well and the only thing Junsu could see was death and betrayal.
The only time he could be aware of the world surrounding him was when the drugs ceased their effect on his body, often happened when the nurses were treating the wound. Junsu watched the red and angry scar of the swollen place where its fracture was placed: exposed fracture the doctors had said, but it really didn't matter, the scar was long and ran all over his thigh. Perfect...a scar on my skin to match the one on my heart. He thought as the drugs were flowing through his blood system and his conscience slowly began to wander...
Jaejoong and Yoochun came daily, but Junsu could barely see them between awakenings of his induced sleep. Both of them whispered to him encouraging words, they whispered to him that it will all pass soon, that the fracture was little and had only broken some of his skin...but nothing, Junsu couldn't retain anything. He could only watch them through his foggy gaze; the worrisome on their faces being so evident...god, if he could only talk to them, if he could only say that he didn't matter the time that he stayed on drug haze, if he could only say to them that even if he died he would be grateful for all and that they shouldn't worry...but the words die on his throat, Junsu is so numb that he can't form the words as he slowly feel the claws of fever drawing him back to the dark, turning his eyes heavy and forcing him to close his eyes. Everything turned black again.
His senses react again, but this time by the feeling of a hand pushing his wet hair from his forehead, stroking the long locks. The touch was soft, but the hand firm...determined. Junsu could feel the fingertips entangling on his hair, and the caress is so familiar that almost immediately cause the abrupt return of his conscience.
Junsu open his eyes, and although his vision was foggy from the fever and the hours of sleep, he immediately recognized those eyes. Those dark eyes, the darkest eyes he had ever seen, so much like a blackest sea with a touch of light inside. Junsu struggled to sit on the bed, using all of his forces.
"Yunho...¿How-?"
Yunho placed a hand on his shoulder and slowly, gently, leaned Junsu back to bed.
"Don’t force yourself, you're still healing."
Junsu sighed, doing as he was told and looking at him in complete wonder.
"I read the news about your condition" Yunho said, his voice being barely a whisper and turning his eyes up to meet his gaze.
"You came..." Junsu mumbled with a hoarse voice.
"Of course I came. Or did you forget about the promise that I made to you? I promised to ensure your safety until the end of my days.” Yunho smiled warmly at him, his hand resuming stroking his hair. Junsu knew it, he was aware of all the things that they promised and said during the climax of their love, and how it ended. He didn't want to question him, he didn't want to bash him and scream at him all of the problems that still haunted them. In spite of all Yunho returned to him, he was back again…and in such circumstances it was the only thing that mattered.
They stayed in silence. It took all of Junsu’s willpower to stay awake and enjoy the image of Yunho that was right in front of his eyes, slowly starting to get lost on the calm and warm feeling that radiated from his presence. Yunho strokes on his hair were soft, gentle...and slowly he reached out to the bed and took Junsu's hand in his own. Junsu watched him and wondered the last time they had done this. Certainly, the last time they had been in this kind of intimacy was years ago...
"Remember when I used to chase you back to your home when we were training to become idols? We always walked the way home hand in hand.” Yunho seemed to read his mind, and Junsu couldn't read his expression. It seemed a mixture of sadness, pain and longing...a longing that went right to his soul. Junsu squeezed his hand, trying to comfort him and wanting to share with him everything that he felt at the same time.
"Of course I remember, in fact...I dream a lot with those times, the times that we spent together.” Junsu sighed, averting his gaze a little and being aware of the tears that were slowly forming on the corner of his eyes, but he had to tell him, he had to get rid of the spine that was piercing his heart before it tore him apart.
"I-I...tried to do the right thing Yunho, I tried to be honorable..."
"Hush,” Yunho interrupted him, shaking his head and Junsu´s eyes widened with his words.
"I didn't come here to ask you for explanations, none of that matters now. I'm proud of you and all that you had accomplished; you know that I always...will be by your side"
Yunho brushed his hand down to the length of Junsu's face, holding his chin gently. Junsu couldn't help closing his eyes with the touch. Suddenly he felt Yunho's face closer, his breath ghosting on his skin. When Yunho finally reduced the distance, his lips joining with Junsu's in and sweet touch, Junsu could felt the shivers...the same electric shock of always, and that only Yunho is capable to awake on him. He kissed him back with urgency, his lips crushing on a fierce kiss, desperate for the contact. However the coldness of Yunho's lips startled Junsu. Yunho felt...cold, not warm as always but cold, so cold...and is in that moment that Junsu realized the cold hand that was holding his own...but perhaps the cold on his skin was only because of the trip to the hospital. Outside it could be snowing and Junsu could barely sense it, too lost on his induced dreams.
"I love you...I love you..." Yunho's whispers seemed almost urgent, desperate as he devoured Junsu's lips with such force and need. Junsu placed his free hand on Yunho's jaw, bringing him closer as he opened his lips to welcome his wet tongue. He wasn't sure if the heat that was boiling his body was because of the fever or the reaction that Yunho caused on him...he could only drown on the sensations, lost, so lost on him... his senses soon getting clouded by the heat that was surging from the kiss.
"I love you Yunho, so...much..." Junsu was panting hard, aware of the speed of his pulse and the frantic beat of his heart. He felt his erratic breath mixing with Yunho's when he bit his bottom lip, breaking the kiss by the lack of air.
"Su, you're burning..." Yunho whispered to him, his hoarse voice sending electric vibrations through Junsu's skin, making him forget his sickness. "I'll better let you rest, you must recover. You have a long journey ahead." He smiled against his lips, closing the distance to place a chaste kiss on him before getting up from his level, his grip tightening on Junsu's hand.
"No, don't go...I want to stay with you,” Junsu protested, looking at him with pleading eyes. "Please don't leave me Yunho..." he insisted, but even with a million of protests in mind he felt his mind slowly starting to wander again...the numbness returning to his body and turning his eyes heavy. The last thing he could sense before everything went black was Yunho kissing his hand, closing it on a fist and let it rest on his chest, to the level of his heart.
"I'll stay by your side, Junsu. I won't be far...” he heard him whisper.
-o-
Junsu really didn't know how much time he slept; he only knew that he hadn't slept with such peace in years. He could react again when the movements on his rooms woke him, and this time when he opened his eyes he was fully conscious, without fever and with a lucidity that had abandoned him since he got into the hospital.
He watched the face of his two bandmates: Jaejoong's puffy eyes like a proof of recent crying and Yoochun with a dark and somber face, lifeless, holding a page of a newspaper on his right hand. Junsu struggled to sit up, the bad feeling sending a shiver down his back.
"Jae? Chun?”
"Junsu, there was…an accident..." Yoochun told him, looking torn in two, like he would give anything in the world to not have to tell him about the tragedy.
Oh, but he wouldn't have to, Junsu already knew what he was about to say. It's the most extraordinary pain he felt in his life and it send him into a haze as his vision blurs when the tears start to gather on his lifeless eyes. He knew it on his heart...and he looked down to his chest as he slowly uncurled the fingers of the hand that was resting over his heart.
"Yunho..." he whispered, covering his mouth with his hand to mitigate the sob that threated to destroy his very existence. He could feel the pain slowing his heart and his skin getting cold, so cold...like him...
-o-
A/N: I know It’s pure angst and I feel terrible for killing my Yunnie (I’m so sorry but it was necessary ;O;!) so anyway…this idea had been haunting me since last week so there you go! And please excuse all my grammar mistakes, English it’s not my language and I work hard to translate this from Spanish ^^U thank you for reading this <3
~Koiko
Pairing: HoSu
Genre: Angst
Lenght: One-shot
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Mayor Character Death
Summary: A promise is a promise, no matter what. Junsu sees Yunho one last time...
-o-
Now that I’ve become aware […]
Like part of me had died…
[Through her eyes, Dream Theater]
Junsu really didn't know what is worse, the fracture on his leg...with a constant, pulsing and agonizing pain, or the fever that got into him by the infection. He really didn't think that it could be that bad, he barely felt the throbbing pain caused by a wrong step, but then...the complications came, the sudden inflamation of his leg and finally..the infection. He spent days and nights in the hospital restless, haunted by feverish dreams. Most of the time he dreamed with past times, times when he was younger, training to become an idol…when he was...happy. At the end, none of those dreams ended well and the only thing Junsu could see was death and betrayal.
The only time he could be aware of the world surrounding him was when the drugs ceased their effect on his body, often happened when the nurses were treating the wound. Junsu watched the red and angry scar of the swollen place where its fracture was placed: exposed fracture the doctors had said, but it really didn't matter, the scar was long and ran all over his thigh. Perfect...a scar on my skin to match the one on my heart. He thought as the drugs were flowing through his blood system and his conscience slowly began to wander...
Jaejoong and Yoochun came daily, but Junsu could barely see them between awakenings of his induced sleep. Both of them whispered to him encouraging words, they whispered to him that it will all pass soon, that the fracture was little and had only broken some of his skin...but nothing, Junsu couldn't retain anything. He could only watch them through his foggy gaze; the worrisome on their faces being so evident...god, if he could only talk to them, if he could only say that he didn't matter the time that he stayed on drug haze, if he could only say to them that even if he died he would be grateful for all and that they shouldn't worry...but the words die on his throat, Junsu is so numb that he can't form the words as he slowly feel the claws of fever drawing him back to the dark, turning his eyes heavy and forcing him to close his eyes. Everything turned black again.
His senses react again, but this time by the feeling of a hand pushing his wet hair from his forehead, stroking the long locks. The touch was soft, but the hand firm...determined. Junsu could feel the fingertips entangling on his hair, and the caress is so familiar that almost immediately cause the abrupt return of his conscience.
Junsu open his eyes, and although his vision was foggy from the fever and the hours of sleep, he immediately recognized those eyes. Those dark eyes, the darkest eyes he had ever seen, so much like a blackest sea with a touch of light inside. Junsu struggled to sit on the bed, using all of his forces.
"Yunho...¿How-?"
Yunho placed a hand on his shoulder and slowly, gently, leaned Junsu back to bed.
"Don’t force yourself, you're still healing."
Junsu sighed, doing as he was told and looking at him in complete wonder.
"I read the news about your condition" Yunho said, his voice being barely a whisper and turning his eyes up to meet his gaze.
"You came..." Junsu mumbled with a hoarse voice.
"Of course I came. Or did you forget about the promise that I made to you? I promised to ensure your safety until the end of my days.” Yunho smiled warmly at him, his hand resuming stroking his hair. Junsu knew it, he was aware of all the things that they promised and said during the climax of their love, and how it ended. He didn't want to question him, he didn't want to bash him and scream at him all of the problems that still haunted them. In spite of all Yunho returned to him, he was back again…and in such circumstances it was the only thing that mattered.
They stayed in silence. It took all of Junsu’s willpower to stay awake and enjoy the image of Yunho that was right in front of his eyes, slowly starting to get lost on the calm and warm feeling that radiated from his presence. Yunho strokes on his hair were soft, gentle...and slowly he reached out to the bed and took Junsu's hand in his own. Junsu watched him and wondered the last time they had done this. Certainly, the last time they had been in this kind of intimacy was years ago...
"Remember when I used to chase you back to your home when we were training to become idols? We always walked the way home hand in hand.” Yunho seemed to read his mind, and Junsu couldn't read his expression. It seemed a mixture of sadness, pain and longing...a longing that went right to his soul. Junsu squeezed his hand, trying to comfort him and wanting to share with him everything that he felt at the same time.
"Of course I remember, in fact...I dream a lot with those times, the times that we spent together.” Junsu sighed, averting his gaze a little and being aware of the tears that were slowly forming on the corner of his eyes, but he had to tell him, he had to get rid of the spine that was piercing his heart before it tore him apart.
"I-I...tried to do the right thing Yunho, I tried to be honorable..."
"Hush,” Yunho interrupted him, shaking his head and Junsu´s eyes widened with his words.
"I didn't come here to ask you for explanations, none of that matters now. I'm proud of you and all that you had accomplished; you know that I always...will be by your side"
Yunho brushed his hand down to the length of Junsu's face, holding his chin gently. Junsu couldn't help closing his eyes with the touch. Suddenly he felt Yunho's face closer, his breath ghosting on his skin. When Yunho finally reduced the distance, his lips joining with Junsu's in and sweet touch, Junsu could felt the shivers...the same electric shock of always, and that only Yunho is capable to awake on him. He kissed him back with urgency, his lips crushing on a fierce kiss, desperate for the contact. However the coldness of Yunho's lips startled Junsu. Yunho felt...cold, not warm as always but cold, so cold...and is in that moment that Junsu realized the cold hand that was holding his own...but perhaps the cold on his skin was only because of the trip to the hospital. Outside it could be snowing and Junsu could barely sense it, too lost on his induced dreams.
"I love you...I love you..." Yunho's whispers seemed almost urgent, desperate as he devoured Junsu's lips with such force and need. Junsu placed his free hand on Yunho's jaw, bringing him closer as he opened his lips to welcome his wet tongue. He wasn't sure if the heat that was boiling his body was because of the fever or the reaction that Yunho caused on him...he could only drown on the sensations, lost, so lost on him... his senses soon getting clouded by the heat that was surging from the kiss.
"I love you Yunho, so...much..." Junsu was panting hard, aware of the speed of his pulse and the frantic beat of his heart. He felt his erratic breath mixing with Yunho's when he bit his bottom lip, breaking the kiss by the lack of air.
"Su, you're burning..." Yunho whispered to him, his hoarse voice sending electric vibrations through Junsu's skin, making him forget his sickness. "I'll better let you rest, you must recover. You have a long journey ahead." He smiled against his lips, closing the distance to place a chaste kiss on him before getting up from his level, his grip tightening on Junsu's hand.
"No, don't go...I want to stay with you,” Junsu protested, looking at him with pleading eyes. "Please don't leave me Yunho..." he insisted, but even with a million of protests in mind he felt his mind slowly starting to wander again...the numbness returning to his body and turning his eyes heavy. The last thing he could sense before everything went black was Yunho kissing his hand, closing it on a fist and let it rest on his chest, to the level of his heart.
"I'll stay by your side, Junsu. I won't be far...” he heard him whisper.
-o-
Junsu really didn't know how much time he slept; he only knew that he hadn't slept with such peace in years. He could react again when the movements on his rooms woke him, and this time when he opened his eyes he was fully conscious, without fever and with a lucidity that had abandoned him since he got into the hospital.
He watched the face of his two bandmates: Jaejoong's puffy eyes like a proof of recent crying and Yoochun with a dark and somber face, lifeless, holding a page of a newspaper on his right hand. Junsu struggled to sit up, the bad feeling sending a shiver down his back.
"Jae? Chun?”
"Junsu, there was…an accident..." Yoochun told him, looking torn in two, like he would give anything in the world to not have to tell him about the tragedy.
Oh, but he wouldn't have to, Junsu already knew what he was about to say. It's the most extraordinary pain he felt in his life and it send him into a haze as his vision blurs when the tears start to gather on his lifeless eyes. He knew it on his heart...and he looked down to his chest as he slowly uncurled the fingers of the hand that was resting over his heart.
"Yunho..." he whispered, covering his mouth with his hand to mitigate the sob that threated to destroy his very existence. He could feel the pain slowing his heart and his skin getting cold, so cold...like him...
-o-
A/N: I know It’s pure angst and I feel terrible for killing my Yunnie (I’m so sorry but it was necessary ;O;!) so anyway…this idea had been haunting me since last week so there you go! And please excuse all my grammar mistakes, English it’s not my language and I work hard to translate this from Spanish ^^U thank you for reading this <3
~Koiko