As with any form of radical thought (radical being a large deviation from the norm), you occasionally have to either swallow it, or just walk on. Some people aren't going to get what you're saying, or why you're upset about something they did which is normalized in their culture. I understand that ads like that upset "You" (by you I mean feminists, etc), it's still normalized in society.
The ideas you're espousing here literally ARE radical. Wishing that they weren't radical doesn't normalize them. Am I defending the ad? No. I'm defending Jenny. But I'm also defending you.
The main thing is this- she posted something that was normalized to her culture (mainstream western culture), which offended you and members of your culture (feminist? can't think of a better term). You expressed your disgust, and things went downhill. I read it, you both dropped the ball on that one. You both should've calmed down- minds aren't changed when they're angry and defensive.
You both should've calmed down- minds aren't changed when they're angry and defensive.
That's also when it starts to get personal. I have a 12 (and sometimes 24) hour rule for this reason and I always encourage everyone to adopt something similar. When emotions are high, communication breaks down and this often leads to the destruction of relationships. It's also rather difficult to interpret exactly what a person is saying through text since something like 70 or 80% of our communication is non-verbal (lunch is almost over so I can't look up the stat right now).
Hindsight is 20/20 though. I totally missed the whole thing and can't view the video so I have no opinion on the issue itself.
I agree there. Livejournal tends to be a heinous way to actually understand what another person is saying when tensions are high. If you can contact your friend in another way, that's probably best, because while it's really good to stick to your convictions, it seems to me like you're unhappy with the outcome, and maybe that could be changed by talking instead of commenting.
I hear what you're saying. I agree with the fact that I could have handled things a lot better than I did. I will point a finger at Sammie who did not help in anyway shape or form, but that's as far as I'd go with an actual complaint.
I've also been really good, as you know, with swallowing it and walking on. Doing the whole, pretend it isn't happening and now we can try to move on. I'm the King of that. That ad is just so offensive and so wrong that I literally almost throw up a bit in mouth every single time. It's so offensive that I had to be like, "It isn't funny."
The problem Bryan, is that when you point out to people that they're doing something that's sexist or racist or any of the -ists, is that they will almost *always* be angry and defensive. No one likes being pointed out when they cross a line, especially if they have a good opinion of themselves in that, "I'd never do that kind of way." If you wait for the perfect moment to say something, you'll never say anything.
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The ideas you're espousing here literally ARE radical. Wishing that they weren't radical doesn't normalize them. Am I defending the ad? No. I'm defending Jenny. But I'm also defending you.
The main thing is this- she posted something that was normalized to her culture (mainstream western culture), which offended you and members of your culture (feminist? can't think of a better term). You expressed your disgust, and things went downhill. I read it, you both dropped the ball on that one. You both should've calmed down- minds aren't changed when they're angry and defensive.
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That's also when it starts to get personal. I have a 12 (and sometimes 24) hour rule for this reason and I always encourage everyone to adopt something similar. When emotions are high, communication breaks down and this often leads to the destruction of relationships. It's also rather difficult to interpret exactly what a person is saying through text since something like 70 or 80% of our communication is non-verbal (lunch is almost over so I can't look up the stat right now).
Hindsight is 20/20 though. I totally missed the whole thing and can't view the video so I have no opinion on the issue itself.
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I hear what you're saying. I agree with the fact that I could have handled things a lot better than I did. I will point a finger at Sammie who did not help in anyway shape or form, but that's as far as I'd go with an actual complaint.
I've also been really good, as you know, with swallowing it and walking on. Doing the whole, pretend it isn't happening and now we can try to move on. I'm the King of that. That ad is just so offensive and so wrong that I literally almost throw up a bit in mouth every single time. It's so offensive that I had to be like, "It isn't funny."
The problem Bryan, is that when you point out to people that they're doing something that's sexist or racist or any of the -ists, is that they will almost *always* be angry and defensive. No one likes being pointed out when they cross a line, especially if they have a good opinion of themselves in that, "I'd never do that kind of way." If you wait for the perfect moment to say something, you'll never say anything.
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