Times Are Changing
Kris/Baekhyun, 4387
Something’s amiss and only Kris and Baekhyun seem to notice.
A/N: Written in artistalks, for yong-star, but in the spirit of Sheryl and Line, I have also decided to post.
Kris struggles to keep awake in the van on the way back home. He’s close to nodding off a few times, but the idle chatter keeps him conscious for the most part. Looking around, he can see that Tao and Sehun have already nodded off, and Jongin is well on his way. He goes over their schedule for the next couple days; a mix of appearances on shows to promote their comeback and music show performances that he knows can go for hours. He’s already dead on his feet, and he knows that in the next row up, Joonmyun is as well. But they have to maintain a strong front in front of the others, which is why Kris is still awake at five in the morning.
They file out of the van quickly, Kris leaning past the chairs to lightly shake the sleeping members awake, smiling when they drowsily drag themselves out of the vehicle, more than likely still mostly asleep. The dorm quickly becomes deserted, most passing on the bathroom to collapse straight into their beds without even changing. Kris is not one of those people, and waits patiently to brush his teeth and change into sleepwear before settling in the entrance and pulling out his phone, scrolling through articles and videos of their performance from tonight to look for any negative statements or room for improvement.
“Are you going to bed?”
Kris’ head shoots up and he sees Yixing peeking around the corner of the hallway, face expectant. “In a bit,” he answers offhandedly, holding up his phone to supplement the poor answer. It’s probably because he’s exhausted, but Yixing accepts the response with a curt nod before heading to bed himself, heat pack already plastered on his back. Kris stays where he is, staring at the bright screen of his phone, until the windows start to let in sunlight and he admits that he’s been up for too long. He’ll be feeling it later today. But for now, he quietly pads over to his room with Yixing and the managers, opening and closing the door behind him before climbing into bed, hoping to get at least a couple hours of shut eye.
-
“Kris, get up.”
He whines, pulling the blanket over his head. The others should know not to wake him up. He’s got the alarms on his phone to do that for him, and more importantly, he has his skin care routine and that takes time. Time that he has planned and scheduled.
“Kris, get up. Now.”
He’s fairly sure that it’s Yixing trying to wake him. He simmers. Out of everyone, Yixing should know not to wake him. Considering how long they’ve been living under the same roof, the man should know his habits down to a T. And yet, here he is. Kris is baffled. But mostly tired, so he rolls over and pulls a pillow over his head.
“Don’t make me pull rank.”
He can hear that even through the pillow. Kris balks. What rank? Did something happen while he was asleep? Is this some kind of game? Did Chanyeol and Jongin dare Yixing again? As much as he detests getting up early, he raises his head to stare at Yixing in askance. The man breaks out into a grin.
“He’s up!” He shouts out the door.
“Good!” Joonmyun yells back. “Now get him out of bed!”
Kris doesn’t understand what’s going on. His best guess is that one of the managers called an emergency meeting while he was still sleeping, so he allows Yixing to pull him up and out of bed and then lead him down the hall and into the kitchen. Kris rubs the sleep out of his eyes and continues forward, past the chattering at the table and over to Joonmyun at the sink. “I wanted to talk to you about the schedule today.”
Joonmyun looks shocked. “Oh, Kris, don’t worry about that. Go over have have something to eat before we leave, I think Tao saved you something.”
Kris frowns, but does as asked. As he’s walking away, Yixing approaches Joonmyun and the latter grabs him by the arm.
“So about today’s schedule,” he starts, Yixing nods, and then they continue to talk in hushed voices.
Kris is perplexed. Never, never, has Joonmyun talked to Yixing about the schedule. It’s always been the two of them, trying to decide how to monitor the members and when they should take breaks and is there anything they should change, even this late in the process. He makes his way over to Tao, who gives him a warm smile and a bowl of mixed fruit. Kris accepts the food gratefully and eats quickly before heading back into his room to go about his routine, though he can’t shake off the weirdness about earlier. He still has no idea what Yixing was talking about.
Joonmyun appears in his doorway just as he’s drying his face. “Are you ready?” Kris nods. “Good, we’re going to leave now so come on out as soon as you’re finished.” He turns around and leaves.
That tone. Joonmyun only uses that tone with his members, voice usually somber whenever he chats with Kris. Something is definitely up, he decides, dumping his towel on his bed and heading out to the mass by the door, pulling on his shoes as they start to file out towards the van. When they get inside, Kris pulls out his phone. They have a show this morning, which shouldn’t take too long but they need to be careful not to reveal too many things about future plans. Kris wishes he could have spoken with Joonmyun so they could decide how to go about the interview. He groans, realizing he hasn’t even read the script for it yet.
“Who are you texting?” Chanyeol pops into his space, trying to get a good look at his phone. “Is it a girl?”
“What?” Kris is confused. Usually Chanyeol is a little less invasive, to him at least. Baekhyun and the rest are a different story. “Why would I be talking to a girl? The only one in this car who would be talking to a girl is probably Jongdae,” he states, starting to get a little irritated.
Chanyeol raises his arms in surrender. “Okay, I get it. Calm down,” he laughs, turning away to pick up conversation with Kyungsoo.
Kris shakes his head. Something is up. He opens his calendar and suppresses a shout. There’s absolutely no information entered. He refreshes the app and then turns off his phone before turning it back on, leg jiggling all the while. It’s no good. None of the notes he’d entered in throughout the week are there, and there’s nothing even in the dates that have passed. He goes back to the home screen and hastily clicks on other apps just to make sure that it is his phone.
“Hey, Kris, you okay?” Jongdae peeks over the back of his chair at his bandmate and offers a playful pout when Kris merely stares back. “Aw, are you worried about our broadcast today? It’s okay. We’ll take care care of you.” He gives a playful wink and then turns back to the front.
“But I’m not-” sick, is what Kris was about to say, but maybe he is. Maybe this is an anxiety dream. But then Chanyeol buries a hand in his hair and ruffles it with vigor and nope. This feels too real to just be a dream. Or, perhaps, a nightmare.
The van stops and they all exit, standing in a huddle for a moment so that Joonmyun can do a quick headcount. Kris double-checks him, though not aloud. Then Yixing is leading them into the building, which in any other situation would seem laughable, but everyone is following without question and Kris falls to the back, confused and a little disoriented.
They’ve been here before, last year. They’ll probably be asked the same questions, more or less, so Kris prepares answers for the entire group as they enter the dressing room and grab their clothes, stylists chatting idly as they set up and wait for the boys to get changed and come back.
Kris grabs his hanger and doesn’t examine the clothes until he’s just about to pull them on. They’re a lot less eye-grabbing than the clothes usually given to him; instead of studs and zippers galore the material is plain black. Just black pants, black shirt, sneakers and a silver jacket. It’s different but he’s not about to complain.
Kris emerges from the room dressed in the tight clothes and heads back into the dressing room, where Kyungsoo and Tao are already seated, getting hair styled and makeup done. One of the stylists motions Kris over and he follows, sitting down in the chair and looking up.
His hair is black. And it’s long. Tied at the nape of his neck in a ponytail like he’d often had it back when he had long hair, it’s no surprise he hadn’t noticed it till now. Just as he reaches back to see if it feels anything like his bleach-killed hair, the stylist smacks his hand away and deftly unties his hair, throwing the elastic onto the counter with the rest of her supplies. She works quickly, attacking his hair with a blow-drier until it fans over his face.
She frowns. “Covering your face with hair is just about the only way to make you look cute,” she mutters under her breath, pulling out the hairspray before Kris can question the statement. Then he’s sent on his way, out into the hallway where more than half of the group are already waiting.
Jongin grabs his wrist and pulls him out of the way, so he’s standing with his back to the wall like the others. He offers a wan smile before closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall and Kris pats his arm in thanks. The kid must be tired. He waits there as the rest come to join the group, Joonmyun and Yixing talking in hushed voices in a doorway. Kris itches to get in on the conversation, but Jongin’s still got a grip on his hand and he would hate to wake the kid up.
Before long, a woman with a clipboard comes around and asks them to follow her to the set. It’s not a show that broadcasts live, so they’ll probably be here a few hours until the PD decides that he has what he wants. Kris mentally prepares himself for a late dinner before collapsing in bed.
The set is simple. Twelve chairs in two rows of six to the right, and two much more comfortable chairs for the MCs. Kris makes to sit in the chair closest to the MCs but he gets a firm tap on the arm and glances up, only to see Joonmyun glaring at him. Yixing quickly steps in.
"Kris, you sit in the back next to Tao," Yixing says helpfully, pointing to the lone chair in the back right. Kris nods slowly, frown on his face as he walks around to the back. When he takes his seat, Tao leans into him slightly and then sits straight, which only serves to anger Kris further. Tao only does that when he's trying to comfort someone after they've embarrassed themselves.
Microphones are passed around-Kris doesn't get one-and the cameras start rolling. The MCs introduce themselves and then turn to EXO, asking for their introductions. Kris leans over Tao to grab a microphone, but Yixing speaks before he can even manage to grab Luhan's mic.
"Hi, everyone! I'm Lay, the angelic leader of EXO-M!" He flashes a peace sign and then turns to Joonmyun.
Kris doesn't listen as the others introduce themselves. He's still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Yixing is the leader. What on earth is going on?
He's not paying attention, so he startles when Tao thrusts a microphone into his face. He opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. If Yixing is the leader, what does that make him?
"And our youngest," Yixing jumps in, "shy but charismatic Kris."
The MCs make soft, cooing noises. Kris gapes, stomach dropping. He can't pay attention for the rest of the interview, as Yixing and Joonmyun talk them up and the rest showcase their variety skills, joking around and giving the audience an idea of what to expect from their latest comeback. Tao squeezes Kris' thigh a few times, encouraging him to join, but he can't. His mouth is dry, he doubts he'd be able to talk, if he even had anything to say.
It takes three hours, but they finish. Kris stays to thank the crew before darting backstage and into the bathrooms, slamming the stall door closed behind him and just standing there, resting his head in his hands. The youngest. He's the youngest. It wasn't a lie, there would have been confusion from others, something to prove it wasn't true, but Kris seems to be the only one who thinks something's wrong.
He was fine with being leader, didn't think he'd be good at it, but he had readily accepted the task. He had found his role, had control over himself, a little over the others, and things had been okay. Now, he doesn't know what's going on, he doesn't have control over anything, and he can feel the anxiety clawing up his throat, churning in his gut. He thinks he might throw up. He wants to go home, he doesn't-
"Kris?" A soft voice asks, echoing in the bathroom.
He takes a gasping breath, not aware that he had been holding it. He opens his mouth to assure whoever it is-he's too scatterbrained to try and figure out who the voice belongs to-that he's fine but only a whimper escapes.
Feet pad closer and then there's a knock on the door. "Kris," the man says, voice barely above a whisper.
Kris wipes his eyes, which thankfully aren't wet, they only feel that way, and opens the door. It's Baekhyun.
"Kris," the man starts, "what's going on?"
-
Kris isn't crazy, Baekhyun remembers too. They talk in the bathroom before a worried Jongdae finds them and utters a sign of relief, ushering them towards the exit, where their van is waiting.
"So you just woke up and it was like this?"
They're sitting on a couch in the living room, the other ten having left earlier to practice and eat. Kris had begged off, saying he felt sick and Baekhyun had promised to stay behind and look after their precious youngest.
"That's exactly what happened," Kris eis says, hands tapping idly on his thighs. They're trying to make sense of the situation, which is difficult when it makes absolutely none.
Baekhyun taps his chin in thought. "Hey! Maybe this is like one of those movies where you have to learn something profound!"
Kris blinks.
"There is a lesson to be learned," Baekhyun states, trying to sound wise but falling short.
Kris opens his mouth to ask what this situation could possibly teach him, but then the others are back and he's lost his chance.
-
The more he thinks about it, the more he wonders if Baekhyun might be right. And really, he doesn't have anything else to go on.
Kris tries to talk to Joonmyun but the man is very determined, something Kris knows well. Joonmyun would have made a great business man, brushing Kris off whenever he tries to ask the Korean leader anything that remotely touches on something that Joonmyun has deemed not for Kris to know. Which is basically everything. Except meal time and when to take a shower, those are the only two he'll consent to talk to Kris about, in a sugary sweet voice and Kris feels like a child.
Yixing, though, is easier. Though a leader now, he's still Yixing, so Kris catches him in the practice rooms one day, resting on his haunches and head hung.
Kris enters quietly and says, "Yixing."
He realizes too late that the man had been sleeping, but before he can flee, Yixing stands and greets him with a tired smile. "Hey, Kris. Something wrong?"
"No, it's just," Kris was never known for being subtle, "isn't it hard being a leader?"
Yixing blinks, caught by surprise then he laughs. "Such a serious question! What brought this on?"
Kris shrugs.
Tapping his chin, Yixing hums in thought. He's always been good about not making anyone feel stupid, good at humoring others. Leadership qualities. "Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I wake up exhausted and I don't think I can get out of bed, much less try and represent EXO-M." He looks up and smiles at Kris. "But I do. And it's worth it, every single day, no matter how draining it might be." A little quieter, he says, "And I wouldn't wish this kind of pressure on anyone else."
Kris merely states, fairly sure he's never heard Yixing say quite so much. "But, your back-"
"Oh, are you worried about me?" Yixing chuckles and claps Kris on the shoulder. "I'm fine, you don't have to fret about me. Just worry about yourself, little Kris."
And then he starts packing his things up and Kris knows the conversation is over.
He thinks about Yixing's words for the rest of the day, mulling them over. He'd never really thought of Yixing as a leader-never really considered anyone but himself and Joonmyun a leader-but he's obviously good at it. Maybe better than Kris. He watches as the man cheers the others up with his quirky jokes and takes it in stride when the Korean members make fun of his accent. He's better in tune with the dancers, slipping Sehun an ice pack for an injury Kris hadn't even noticed.
Kris is still thinking about it later, staring up at his ceiling with his blankets pulled up to his chin, everyone else long asleep.
The bed dips and he's being pushed, a slim body sliding under the covers next to him.
"You've been quiet today," Baekhyun whispers, "what's up?"
"I think I've figured out what it is I needed to know."
Baekhyun clings to his side and mockingly shivers in anticipation. "Do share, little grasshopper."
"I talked to Yixing and Joonmyun," he starts, "and they're doing great at leading the group. I think what I was meant to learn was," he sighs, "that even if I wasn't here, even if EXO was only eleven members, you'd all do just fine without me."
Baekhyun pulls away and swats his arm so quickly that Kris almost falls out of the bed, startled. "No," he chastises, almost too loud.
Kris merely stares at the man in alarm.
"I think," Baekhyun hums, "I think that this was supposed to show you that even if you weren't the fearsome leader of EXO-M, even if you weren't Duizhang and you were just some weirdly tall Chinese kid with black hair, you'd still have a place here. You'll always have a place here. With us."
Kris feels his cheeks warm, barely moving when Baekhyun drops his head onto his chest.
"Now let me sleep here. Chanyeol's making weird noises in his sleep again," he grumbles.
Kris refrains from mentioning the weird noises Baekhyun makes when he's sleeping and smiles, hand drifting to the other's back when he knows that Baekhyun's asleep. The man moves a lot in his sleep and Kris wants to make sure he won't fall off.
-
They have filming the next day. They all crowd into the bus as normal, though it's still a little weird when Kris has Jongdae and Minseok are quietly fussing over him, Kyungsoo looking like he's about to join in.
They're debriefed and then assaulted with colored sticks and brushes, pulling on tight, flashy clothes like their a second skin.
Kris even forgets about his current predicament until he sees his hair in the mirror. The woman stares at it with contemplation before pulling it all into a neat knot, smiling when she's done.
This time, Kris introduces himself. He's been practicing in his head.
"And I'm the youngest of EXO, tall and charismatic Kris," he states, flashing a gummy smile and he thinks he sees Baekhyun trying to disguise a laugh, but the others look pleased so obviously his introduction is fine.
The interview is going along well until they get to a certain question.
"Who is the cutest in EXO?"
Kris is prepared for the predictable Sehun, Jongin, or Tao. Maybe even Joonmyun, Minseok, or Luhan. But definitely not the unanimous, "Kris!"
He balks as Sehun turns to face the camera. "Looking at him, you wouldn't think so. But our Kris is very adorable. He's the best at Gwiyomi!"
Kris blinks. What does that even mean?
But then the MCs are demanding to see and the crew is shuffling around for music. Kris' ears are bombarded with music that sounds like it's from kindergarten and Luhan and Minseok are cheering him on.
But then Kris looks over and sees Baekhyun slowly doing hand motions and he follows along, face impassive even when Baekhyun smiles encouragingly.
Blessedly, the music comes to an end and the MCs admit that Sehun was correct. Kris is thankfully left alone for the rest of the recording.
They have a while after the recording, since the studio is far from their dorm and it will take a fair amount of time for the van to pick them up.
Kris wanders around, picking up food here and there, stopping only when he sees Jongin hunched over in a small alcove.
"Are you okay?"
Jongin looks up but doesn't straighten. Kris remembers that they had him dance a few times during the recording. "Yeah, I'm fine. Luhan went searching for some ice. He and Yixing have been giving me a back brace to wear during practices so it doesn't hurt as much." He takes a shaky breath. "What about you? Are you okay?"
Kris starts. He doesn't think he's ever been asked that. "Um, yeah, I'm fine."
Jongin grins. "That's good."
Kris heads back to the changing room after that, still trying to figure out how he feels about what Jongin had said. He almost walks right past Yixing.
"Hey, you did well on the show," the man praises.
"Thank you."
"Also," Yixing pauses and learns closer, "I heard you and Baekhyun whispering last night. And Kris, if you ever need some alone time with one of your hyungs, don't be afraid to ask." He winks.
Kris doesn't even have time to argue, Yixing is gone in a second, laughing as he walks away. Kris stomps into the changing room and sees that his face is a bright red.
-
When he wakes up, the dorm is empty. It's nice, because Kris was finally able to sleep in, but it's also a little unsettling because, again, usually he's in the know about everything that goes on.
It's not until the afternoon when the members start coming back, Kris sitting on the couch with leftovers, scrolling through his phone.
"Oh, hey. You're up," Sehun remarks as Tao races past him to get to the bedroom. He has several brand name bags in hand. "Tao and I were going to watch a movie. Did you want to join?"
Kris nods. Why not.
Sehun comes back after dropping the bags in his room and sits next to Kris on the couch. Tao appears and puts in the DVD, settling on the ground between Sehun's legs.
One movie quickly turns into three when Tao admits that he hasn't seen Sehun's favorites. The others begin to file in close to dinner time, and join them in the living room, quickly filling up the couch and floor.
Joonmyun is the last to arrive, with food, and they all dig in, still aptly watching the movie.
Kris yawns and thinks about what Baekhyun had said. He looks at all the people in the room and smiles to himself. Yeah, no matter what happens, he'll always have a place with these guys. He knows that now.
Kris drops his head on Sehun's shoulder and closes his eyes, smiling when the man gives his head a few pats.
Baekhyun is right.
-
"Duizhang!"
Kris blinks. "Mm, what?"
Tao sticks his head further into the room. "You need to get ready."
Kris nods and the man disappears. He sleepily pulls on clothes and slinks into the kitchen, heading for the fridge.
"Oh no you don't," Joonmyun snaps, grabbing his wrist and pulling his back with a surprising mouth of strength. "If you had woken up earlier, you could have had breakfast. But we don't have any time now, I need to talk to you about the show today."
Kris blinks, runs a hand through his bleach damaged hair, pulls out his phone and opens his calendar, dates filled with events and notes. Oh. "Yeah, sure," he mumbles as Joonmyun leads him away.
After they're done planning, they have to shoo everyone into the vans. Kris takes notice to the way Yixing and Jongin grimace when they move and quickly types a note in his phone to look up back braces.
They're walking to the vans when solid weight knocks into Kris' side. He looks down and sees Baekhyun.
"Well, you did it. You looked inside yourself and found enlightenment."
Kris hip checks the man, grinning when Baekhyun stumbles and glares at him. "Maybe, but I couldn't have done it without your help."
Baekhyun looks at the ground. "Hey," he starts, "I know you're not the littlest baby of EXO anymore but can we... Maybe... Cuddle again?"
Kris blinks. "Um, yeah, sure?"
Baekhyun positively beams and clings to his side, sitting close to him even when the pile in the van, arms tight around Kris' middle. He doesn't move when the Chinese leader turns to converse with Joonmyun, doesn't budge even when Jongdae and Chanyeol mimic the posture, laughing. Even presses his face into Kris' side when they turn tight corners.
But Kris doesn't mind. In fact, he thinks he could get used to it. He thinks that Baekhyun will always have a place by his side.
Something’s amiss and only Kris and Baekhyun seem to notice.
A/N: Written in artistalks, for yong-star, but in the spirit of Sheryl and Line, I have also decided to post.
Kris struggles to keep awake in the van on the way back home. He’s close to nodding off a few times, but the idle chatter keeps him conscious for the most part. Looking around, he can see that Tao and Sehun have already nodded off, and Jongin is well on his way. He goes over their schedule for the next couple days; a mix of appearances on shows to promote their comeback and music show performances that he knows can go for hours. He’s already dead on his feet, and he knows that in the next row up, Joonmyun is as well. But they have to maintain a strong front in front of the others, which is why Kris is still awake at five in the morning.
They file out of the van quickly, Kris leaning past the chairs to lightly shake the sleeping members awake, smiling when they drowsily drag themselves out of the vehicle, more than likely still mostly asleep. The dorm quickly becomes deserted, most passing on the bathroom to collapse straight into their beds without even changing. Kris is not one of those people, and waits patiently to brush his teeth and change into sleepwear before settling in the entrance and pulling out his phone, scrolling through articles and videos of their performance from tonight to look for any negative statements or room for improvement.
“Are you going to bed?”
Kris’ head shoots up and he sees Yixing peeking around the corner of the hallway, face expectant. “In a bit,” he answers offhandedly, holding up his phone to supplement the poor answer. It’s probably because he’s exhausted, but Yixing accepts the response with a curt nod before heading to bed himself, heat pack already plastered on his back. Kris stays where he is, staring at the bright screen of his phone, until the windows start to let in sunlight and he admits that he’s been up for too long. He’ll be feeling it later today. But for now, he quietly pads over to his room with Yixing and the managers, opening and closing the door behind him before climbing into bed, hoping to get at least a couple hours of shut eye.
-
“Kris, get up.”
He whines, pulling the blanket over his head. The others should know not to wake him up. He’s got the alarms on his phone to do that for him, and more importantly, he has his skin care routine and that takes time. Time that he has planned and scheduled.
“Kris, get up. Now.”
He’s fairly sure that it’s Yixing trying to wake him. He simmers. Out of everyone, Yixing should know not to wake him. Considering how long they’ve been living under the same roof, the man should know his habits down to a T. And yet, here he is. Kris is baffled. But mostly tired, so he rolls over and pulls a pillow over his head.
“Don’t make me pull rank.”
He can hear that even through the pillow. Kris balks. What rank? Did something happen while he was asleep? Is this some kind of game? Did Chanyeol and Jongin dare Yixing again? As much as he detests getting up early, he raises his head to stare at Yixing in askance. The man breaks out into a grin.
“He’s up!” He shouts out the door.
“Good!” Joonmyun yells back. “Now get him out of bed!”
Kris doesn’t understand what’s going on. His best guess is that one of the managers called an emergency meeting while he was still sleeping, so he allows Yixing to pull him up and out of bed and then lead him down the hall and into the kitchen. Kris rubs the sleep out of his eyes and continues forward, past the chattering at the table and over to Joonmyun at the sink. “I wanted to talk to you about the schedule today.”
Joonmyun looks shocked. “Oh, Kris, don’t worry about that. Go over have have something to eat before we leave, I think Tao saved you something.”
Kris frowns, but does as asked. As he’s walking away, Yixing approaches Joonmyun and the latter grabs him by the arm.
“So about today’s schedule,” he starts, Yixing nods, and then they continue to talk in hushed voices.
Kris is perplexed. Never, never, has Joonmyun talked to Yixing about the schedule. It’s always been the two of them, trying to decide how to monitor the members and when they should take breaks and is there anything they should change, even this late in the process. He makes his way over to Tao, who gives him a warm smile and a bowl of mixed fruit. Kris accepts the food gratefully and eats quickly before heading back into his room to go about his routine, though he can’t shake off the weirdness about earlier. He still has no idea what Yixing was talking about.
Joonmyun appears in his doorway just as he’s drying his face. “Are you ready?” Kris nods. “Good, we’re going to leave now so come on out as soon as you’re finished.” He turns around and leaves.
That tone. Joonmyun only uses that tone with his members, voice usually somber whenever he chats with Kris. Something is definitely up, he decides, dumping his towel on his bed and heading out to the mass by the door, pulling on his shoes as they start to file out towards the van. When they get inside, Kris pulls out his phone. They have a show this morning, which shouldn’t take too long but they need to be careful not to reveal too many things about future plans. Kris wishes he could have spoken with Joonmyun so they could decide how to go about the interview. He groans, realizing he hasn’t even read the script for it yet.
“Who are you texting?” Chanyeol pops into his space, trying to get a good look at his phone. “Is it a girl?”
“What?” Kris is confused. Usually Chanyeol is a little less invasive, to him at least. Baekhyun and the rest are a different story. “Why would I be talking to a girl? The only one in this car who would be talking to a girl is probably Jongdae,” he states, starting to get a little irritated.
Chanyeol raises his arms in surrender. “Okay, I get it. Calm down,” he laughs, turning away to pick up conversation with Kyungsoo.
Kris shakes his head. Something is up. He opens his calendar and suppresses a shout. There’s absolutely no information entered. He refreshes the app and then turns off his phone before turning it back on, leg jiggling all the while. It’s no good. None of the notes he’d entered in throughout the week are there, and there’s nothing even in the dates that have passed. He goes back to the home screen and hastily clicks on other apps just to make sure that it is his phone.
“Hey, Kris, you okay?” Jongdae peeks over the back of his chair at his bandmate and offers a playful pout when Kris merely stares back. “Aw, are you worried about our broadcast today? It’s okay. We’ll take care care of you.” He gives a playful wink and then turns back to the front.
“But I’m not-” sick, is what Kris was about to say, but maybe he is. Maybe this is an anxiety dream. But then Chanyeol buries a hand in his hair and ruffles it with vigor and nope. This feels too real to just be a dream. Or, perhaps, a nightmare.
The van stops and they all exit, standing in a huddle for a moment so that Joonmyun can do a quick headcount. Kris double-checks him, though not aloud. Then Yixing is leading them into the building, which in any other situation would seem laughable, but everyone is following without question and Kris falls to the back, confused and a little disoriented.
They’ve been here before, last year. They’ll probably be asked the same questions, more or less, so Kris prepares answers for the entire group as they enter the dressing room and grab their clothes, stylists chatting idly as they set up and wait for the boys to get changed and come back.
Kris grabs his hanger and doesn’t examine the clothes until he’s just about to pull them on. They’re a lot less eye-grabbing than the clothes usually given to him; instead of studs and zippers galore the material is plain black. Just black pants, black shirt, sneakers and a silver jacket. It’s different but he’s not about to complain.
Kris emerges from the room dressed in the tight clothes and heads back into the dressing room, where Kyungsoo and Tao are already seated, getting hair styled and makeup done. One of the stylists motions Kris over and he follows, sitting down in the chair and looking up.
His hair is black. And it’s long. Tied at the nape of his neck in a ponytail like he’d often had it back when he had long hair, it’s no surprise he hadn’t noticed it till now. Just as he reaches back to see if it feels anything like his bleach-killed hair, the stylist smacks his hand away and deftly unties his hair, throwing the elastic onto the counter with the rest of her supplies. She works quickly, attacking his hair with a blow-drier until it fans over his face.
She frowns. “Covering your face with hair is just about the only way to make you look cute,” she mutters under her breath, pulling out the hairspray before Kris can question the statement. Then he’s sent on his way, out into the hallway where more than half of the group are already waiting.
Jongin grabs his wrist and pulls him out of the way, so he’s standing with his back to the wall like the others. He offers a wan smile before closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall and Kris pats his arm in thanks. The kid must be tired. He waits there as the rest come to join the group, Joonmyun and Yixing talking in hushed voices in a doorway. Kris itches to get in on the conversation, but Jongin’s still got a grip on his hand and he would hate to wake the kid up.
Before long, a woman with a clipboard comes around and asks them to follow her to the set. It’s not a show that broadcasts live, so they’ll probably be here a few hours until the PD decides that he has what he wants. Kris mentally prepares himself for a late dinner before collapsing in bed.
The set is simple. Twelve chairs in two rows of six to the right, and two much more comfortable chairs for the MCs. Kris makes to sit in the chair closest to the MCs but he gets a firm tap on the arm and glances up, only to see Joonmyun glaring at him. Yixing quickly steps in.
"Kris, you sit in the back next to Tao," Yixing says helpfully, pointing to the lone chair in the back right. Kris nods slowly, frown on his face as he walks around to the back. When he takes his seat, Tao leans into him slightly and then sits straight, which only serves to anger Kris further. Tao only does that when he's trying to comfort someone after they've embarrassed themselves.
Microphones are passed around-Kris doesn't get one-and the cameras start rolling. The MCs introduce themselves and then turn to EXO, asking for their introductions. Kris leans over Tao to grab a microphone, but Yixing speaks before he can even manage to grab Luhan's mic.
"Hi, everyone! I'm Lay, the angelic leader of EXO-M!" He flashes a peace sign and then turns to Joonmyun.
Kris doesn't listen as the others introduce themselves. He's still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Yixing is the leader. What on earth is going on?
He's not paying attention, so he startles when Tao thrusts a microphone into his face. He opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. If Yixing is the leader, what does that make him?
"And our youngest," Yixing jumps in, "shy but charismatic Kris."
The MCs make soft, cooing noises. Kris gapes, stomach dropping. He can't pay attention for the rest of the interview, as Yixing and Joonmyun talk them up and the rest showcase their variety skills, joking around and giving the audience an idea of what to expect from their latest comeback. Tao squeezes Kris' thigh a few times, encouraging him to join, but he can't. His mouth is dry, he doubts he'd be able to talk, if he even had anything to say.
It takes three hours, but they finish. Kris stays to thank the crew before darting backstage and into the bathrooms, slamming the stall door closed behind him and just standing there, resting his head in his hands. The youngest. He's the youngest. It wasn't a lie, there would have been confusion from others, something to prove it wasn't true, but Kris seems to be the only one who thinks something's wrong.
He was fine with being leader, didn't think he'd be good at it, but he had readily accepted the task. He had found his role, had control over himself, a little over the others, and things had been okay. Now, he doesn't know what's going on, he doesn't have control over anything, and he can feel the anxiety clawing up his throat, churning in his gut. He thinks he might throw up. He wants to go home, he doesn't-
"Kris?" A soft voice asks, echoing in the bathroom.
He takes a gasping breath, not aware that he had been holding it. He opens his mouth to assure whoever it is-he's too scatterbrained to try and figure out who the voice belongs to-that he's fine but only a whimper escapes.
Feet pad closer and then there's a knock on the door. "Kris," the man says, voice barely above a whisper.
Kris wipes his eyes, which thankfully aren't wet, they only feel that way, and opens the door. It's Baekhyun.
"Kris," the man starts, "what's going on?"
-
Kris isn't crazy, Baekhyun remembers too. They talk in the bathroom before a worried Jongdae finds them and utters a sign of relief, ushering them towards the exit, where their van is waiting.
"So you just woke up and it was like this?"
They're sitting on a couch in the living room, the other ten having left earlier to practice and eat. Kris had begged off, saying he felt sick and Baekhyun had promised to stay behind and look after their precious youngest.
"That's exactly what happened," Kris eis says, hands tapping idly on his thighs. They're trying to make sense of the situation, which is difficult when it makes absolutely none.
Baekhyun taps his chin in thought. "Hey! Maybe this is like one of those movies where you have to learn something profound!"
Kris blinks.
"There is a lesson to be learned," Baekhyun states, trying to sound wise but falling short.
Kris opens his mouth to ask what this situation could possibly teach him, but then the others are back and he's lost his chance.
-
The more he thinks about it, the more he wonders if Baekhyun might be right. And really, he doesn't have anything else to go on.
Kris tries to talk to Joonmyun but the man is very determined, something Kris knows well. Joonmyun would have made a great business man, brushing Kris off whenever he tries to ask the Korean leader anything that remotely touches on something that Joonmyun has deemed not for Kris to know. Which is basically everything. Except meal time and when to take a shower, those are the only two he'll consent to talk to Kris about, in a sugary sweet voice and Kris feels like a child.
Yixing, though, is easier. Though a leader now, he's still Yixing, so Kris catches him in the practice rooms one day, resting on his haunches and head hung.
Kris enters quietly and says, "Yixing."
He realizes too late that the man had been sleeping, but before he can flee, Yixing stands and greets him with a tired smile. "Hey, Kris. Something wrong?"
"No, it's just," Kris was never known for being subtle, "isn't it hard being a leader?"
Yixing blinks, caught by surprise then he laughs. "Such a serious question! What brought this on?"
Kris shrugs.
Tapping his chin, Yixing hums in thought. He's always been good about not making anyone feel stupid, good at humoring others. Leadership qualities. "Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I wake up exhausted and I don't think I can get out of bed, much less try and represent EXO-M." He looks up and smiles at Kris. "But I do. And it's worth it, every single day, no matter how draining it might be." A little quieter, he says, "And I wouldn't wish this kind of pressure on anyone else."
Kris merely states, fairly sure he's never heard Yixing say quite so much. "But, your back-"
"Oh, are you worried about me?" Yixing chuckles and claps Kris on the shoulder. "I'm fine, you don't have to fret about me. Just worry about yourself, little Kris."
And then he starts packing his things up and Kris knows the conversation is over.
He thinks about Yixing's words for the rest of the day, mulling them over. He'd never really thought of Yixing as a leader-never really considered anyone but himself and Joonmyun a leader-but he's obviously good at it. Maybe better than Kris. He watches as the man cheers the others up with his quirky jokes and takes it in stride when the Korean members make fun of his accent. He's better in tune with the dancers, slipping Sehun an ice pack for an injury Kris hadn't even noticed.
Kris is still thinking about it later, staring up at his ceiling with his blankets pulled up to his chin, everyone else long asleep.
The bed dips and he's being pushed, a slim body sliding under the covers next to him.
"You've been quiet today," Baekhyun whispers, "what's up?"
"I think I've figured out what it is I needed to know."
Baekhyun clings to his side and mockingly shivers in anticipation. "Do share, little grasshopper."
"I talked to Yixing and Joonmyun," he starts, "and they're doing great at leading the group. I think what I was meant to learn was," he sighs, "that even if I wasn't here, even if EXO was only eleven members, you'd all do just fine without me."
Baekhyun pulls away and swats his arm so quickly that Kris almost falls out of the bed, startled. "No," he chastises, almost too loud.
Kris merely stares at the man in alarm.
"I think," Baekhyun hums, "I think that this was supposed to show you that even if you weren't the fearsome leader of EXO-M, even if you weren't Duizhang and you were just some weirdly tall Chinese kid with black hair, you'd still have a place here. You'll always have a place here. With us."
Kris feels his cheeks warm, barely moving when Baekhyun drops his head onto his chest.
"Now let me sleep here. Chanyeol's making weird noises in his sleep again," he grumbles.
Kris refrains from mentioning the weird noises Baekhyun makes when he's sleeping and smiles, hand drifting to the other's back when he knows that Baekhyun's asleep. The man moves a lot in his sleep and Kris wants to make sure he won't fall off.
-
They have filming the next day. They all crowd into the bus as normal, though it's still a little weird when Kris has Jongdae and Minseok are quietly fussing over him, Kyungsoo looking like he's about to join in.
They're debriefed and then assaulted with colored sticks and brushes, pulling on tight, flashy clothes like their a second skin.
Kris even forgets about his current predicament until he sees his hair in the mirror. The woman stares at it with contemplation before pulling it all into a neat knot, smiling when she's done.
This time, Kris introduces himself. He's been practicing in his head.
"And I'm the youngest of EXO, tall and charismatic Kris," he states, flashing a gummy smile and he thinks he sees Baekhyun trying to disguise a laugh, but the others look pleased so obviously his introduction is fine.
The interview is going along well until they get to a certain question.
"Who is the cutest in EXO?"
Kris is prepared for the predictable Sehun, Jongin, or Tao. Maybe even Joonmyun, Minseok, or Luhan. But definitely not the unanimous, "Kris!"
He balks as Sehun turns to face the camera. "Looking at him, you wouldn't think so. But our Kris is very adorable. He's the best at Gwiyomi!"
Kris blinks. What does that even mean?
But then the MCs are demanding to see and the crew is shuffling around for music. Kris' ears are bombarded with music that sounds like it's from kindergarten and Luhan and Minseok are cheering him on.
But then Kris looks over and sees Baekhyun slowly doing hand motions and he follows along, face impassive even when Baekhyun smiles encouragingly.
Blessedly, the music comes to an end and the MCs admit that Sehun was correct. Kris is thankfully left alone for the rest of the recording.
They have a while after the recording, since the studio is far from their dorm and it will take a fair amount of time for the van to pick them up.
Kris wanders around, picking up food here and there, stopping only when he sees Jongin hunched over in a small alcove.
"Are you okay?"
Jongin looks up but doesn't straighten. Kris remembers that they had him dance a few times during the recording. "Yeah, I'm fine. Luhan went searching for some ice. He and Yixing have been giving me a back brace to wear during practices so it doesn't hurt as much." He takes a shaky breath. "What about you? Are you okay?"
Kris starts. He doesn't think he's ever been asked that. "Um, yeah, I'm fine."
Jongin grins. "That's good."
Kris heads back to the changing room after that, still trying to figure out how he feels about what Jongin had said. He almost walks right past Yixing.
"Hey, you did well on the show," the man praises.
"Thank you."
"Also," Yixing pauses and learns closer, "I heard you and Baekhyun whispering last night. And Kris, if you ever need some alone time with one of your hyungs, don't be afraid to ask." He winks.
Kris doesn't even have time to argue, Yixing is gone in a second, laughing as he walks away. Kris stomps into the changing room and sees that his face is a bright red.
-
When he wakes up, the dorm is empty. It's nice, because Kris was finally able to sleep in, but it's also a little unsettling because, again, usually he's in the know about everything that goes on.
It's not until the afternoon when the members start coming back, Kris sitting on the couch with leftovers, scrolling through his phone.
"Oh, hey. You're up," Sehun remarks as Tao races past him to get to the bedroom. He has several brand name bags in hand. "Tao and I were going to watch a movie. Did you want to join?"
Kris nods. Why not.
Sehun comes back after dropping the bags in his room and sits next to Kris on the couch. Tao appears and puts in the DVD, settling on the ground between Sehun's legs.
One movie quickly turns into three when Tao admits that he hasn't seen Sehun's favorites. The others begin to file in close to dinner time, and join them in the living room, quickly filling up the couch and floor.
Joonmyun is the last to arrive, with food, and they all dig in, still aptly watching the movie.
Kris yawns and thinks about what Baekhyun had said. He looks at all the people in the room and smiles to himself. Yeah, no matter what happens, he'll always have a place with these guys. He knows that now.
Kris drops his head on Sehun's shoulder and closes his eyes, smiling when the man gives his head a few pats.
Baekhyun is right.
-
"Duizhang!"
Kris blinks. "Mm, what?"
Tao sticks his head further into the room. "You need to get ready."
Kris nods and the man disappears. He sleepily pulls on clothes and slinks into the kitchen, heading for the fridge.
"Oh no you don't," Joonmyun snaps, grabbing his wrist and pulling his back with a surprising mouth of strength. "If you had woken up earlier, you could have had breakfast. But we don't have any time now, I need to talk to you about the show today."
Kris blinks, runs a hand through his bleach damaged hair, pulls out his phone and opens his calendar, dates filled with events and notes. Oh. "Yeah, sure," he mumbles as Joonmyun leads him away.
After they're done planning, they have to shoo everyone into the vans. Kris takes notice to the way Yixing and Jongin grimace when they move and quickly types a note in his phone to look up back braces.
They're walking to the vans when solid weight knocks into Kris' side. He looks down and sees Baekhyun.
"Well, you did it. You looked inside yourself and found enlightenment."
Kris hip checks the man, grinning when Baekhyun stumbles and glares at him. "Maybe, but I couldn't have done it without your help."
Baekhyun looks at the ground. "Hey," he starts, "I know you're not the littlest baby of EXO anymore but can we... Maybe... Cuddle again?"
Kris blinks. "Um, yeah, sure?"
Baekhyun positively beams and clings to his side, sitting close to him even when the pile in the van, arms tight around Kris' middle. He doesn't move when the Chinese leader turns to converse with Joonmyun, doesn't budge even when Jongdae and Chanyeol mimic the posture, laughing. Even presses his face into Kris' side when they turn tight corners.
But Kris doesn't mind. In fact, he thinks he could get used to it. He thinks that Baekhyun will always have a place by his side.