>A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish.

>They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.

>St. Peter asks the first girl, "Gloria, have you ever had contact with a penis?"

>She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched one with the ( Read more... )

 Mr o'malley coming home wankered....kebab in hand, falling asleep sounding jus like he's about to mount the thing! i can handle
Mr o'malley continuing to moan,dribble an snore at his kebab....i can handle
 After leaving him there,falling asleep an then being woken up by him going to the loo,still moaning,groaning,falling over an going to sleep were ( Read more... )

Gommog's got hair so my plight is stronger!
Its plain black but more importantly it's MINE you thieving FUCK FUCK(s).

play nice an return pronto...  cold an the monkey's nearly as angry as me!!!

Opened the back door last night to find our god dam drains are blocked!! [>.<]
In fact if i look out the window right now could prob see a big log floating past the house! Rough as fook!!! 
Got a guy coming to fix it tomoz at eleven thirty sharp( sounding hopeful),here's keeping the toes,
fingers an nostrils crossed until then that by new year we'll ( Read more... )

First of all i should explain a bit about the company i work for to set the scene as it were.....
WANKERS... NUMPTIES... FART GOBBLERS... basically any name/word or phrase to describe the worst(this says allot)
company i have ever come across in my many years!
WANKERS!!!Due to the fact  that they choose not to pay any sick leave in the slightest,which ( Read more... )

Just had our first carol singers at the door........
Two you lads who me thinks weren't expecting a bold,pierced guy to answer!
They managed jingle b........  stared for a while an ran off!
Muchos fun! cheered me up after a long,poop day!

P.s shave thy swede an thou shalt bleed!

There i was minding my own buisiness at work today ,trying to help rectify ( Read more... )

The Mark Thomas show....... Courtesy of Mr
( Read more... )

What would  your prefered choice of theme music be for certain situations  throughout the day?
 Eg)as angry ass a shit throwing monkey......SOME NICE HEAVY SOULFLY!
 Comedy chases(sure you have alot off these)........BENNY HILL!                                                                                   
Those more private moments.........maybe ( Read more... )

howdo..... this ones for mr
( Read more... )