Red Hand Days - chapter 4
Title: Red Hand Days
Status: WIP
4.
Sleeping wasn't easy that night. Even though Gauron was snoring on the other side of the double bed, there were other sounds that kept Kashim awake. In the living room Vostrikov was having sex with the wife of the house. She was screaming and crying a lot. It wouldn't have bothered Kashim so much if he hadn't known what was going on. He had seen crying women before, and even saw few of them in the hands of other men of the group. But now that he had experienced himself what it felt like to be in that position, he felt like going there and shooting Vostrikov. Kashim shifted in the bed and faced the wall. Gauron's hand came weary and heavy on his side. He smoothed Kashim's skin for awhile.
“You're awake”, he said in hoarse voice. Kashim didn't answer him. Vostrikov was hitting the woman in the living room. “Do you want me to tell him to keep it down?” The hand moved to pet Kashim's hair.
“No”, Kashim mumbled. It wouldn't make any difference. It would only make Vostrikov pissed.
Gauron chuckled in low tone. “Do you like listening to them?” His hand moved to Kashim's stomach.
“No”, Kashim said, little disturbed that the man could even think like that. There was nothing to like in this whole situation.
Gauron snorted quietly and let his arm rest on top of Kashim. “She's not really hurting. Women can't hurt during sex, they're built that way. She's just upset about his man being an asshole. Go to sleep.”
Kashim stared at the wall, not really sure if he should believe Gauron or not. He knew nothing about women and sex, so he couldn't really tell. But at least the hitting would hurt. Hitting would hurt anyone.
Kashim woke up, which meant he had slept too. He didn't know for how long, but it was dark and he wasn't tired anymore. Kashim didn't like sleeping in beds because they were always too soft and hot and they made him feel utterly vulnerable. Like someone could attack him at any moment and he would be just lying there like on a plate. Gauron seemed to be still asleep. The house was silent. As Kashim got up a hand grapped him by the wrist. Kashim turned to Gauron.
“Stay inside the house.”
“Yes sir”, he affirmed and Gauron let go of his hand, closing his eyes again.
Vostrikov was sleeping naked on the sofa. There were empty vodka bottles on the table. The woman, who was tied and gagged in the corner lifted her eyes to Kashim. She had bruises on her face and she had been crying. Her long dark hair was in tangles and she was naked too. Kashim walked past her to the kitchen and got himself some of the palao.
He stayed in the kitchen, since it was the only room in which he could be alone. There was a small window there and Kashim watched as the village started to wake up one person at a time. It was maybe two hours later when Gauron called his name.
Kashim walked into the room. Gauron was lying on the bed, arms folded behind his head. He patted the bed next to him. “Come here.”
Kashim's eyes fixed on the bulge on the sheet. He wouldn't go near the man now. There was deep silence in the room. “The woman's hurt”, Kashim decided to say, to distract Gauron as much as possible.
Gauron's eyebrow rose slightly. “So?”
Kashim opened his mouth. “She has bruises on her face. Won't that drop her price?” He had heard things like that. This wasn't the first woman they had sold.
Gauron stared at him for a moment. “Well then you should go tell Vostrikov that it will be taken out of his money.”
Kashim's eyes widened. Why he? Vostrikov would hate him after that!
“You don't want to?” Gauron asked with a smile. Kashim shook his head. “Then shut the fuck up about things that don't concern you and come here. This is the only thing that you need to take care of.” Gauron pointed his finger towards his crotch. When Kashim didn't move, the man groaned a little. “Come on. Don't make me come over there and beat you. I thought we could have a nice morning.”
Kashim's hands tightened into fists. “It's not nice.” His voice wasn't more than a whisper. Gauron stared at him. “I don't like it. I have never liked it.”
There was silence in the room. Gauron kept staring at him for a moment, before sighing and sitting up. Kashim backed away few steps immediately. There was tension in the room. “So you'd rather be hit?”
Kashim was silent for awhile. He was thinking about it. “Yes.”
Gauron's eyebrows rose. “Really? Why?”
“It hurts less and for a shorter time”, Kashim stated.
Gauron snorted and sat still for awhile. “Come on then. I won't hurt you.” Kashim didn't move a muscle. “Ok...” Gauron mumbled. “If you come here now, I won't hurt you.”
Kashim didn't know what to do. What ever he would do, it would hurt. Usually Kashim didn't care about pain when someone hit him or he was fighting with an enemy, he could handle it. But it was different with Gauron. He made everything hurt all over. Kashim had learned that pain was much worse when it was inside. You really couldn't treat wounds when they weren't even visible.
“I have never lied to you, Kashim and I never will”, Gauron said and held out his hand. “Come here. I won't do anything that will hurt you. Here,” he grunted and took his pants from the floor. He took something out of his pocket and Kashim could see the tube the medic had given him earlier. Gauron showed him the tube. “When I use this, you're not going to feel a thing.”
Kashim stared at the tube and didn't quite believe it. The pain was so unbearable that unless the tube contained something to knock him unconscious, Gauron was most definitely lying.
“Yeah yeah, the westerners use stuff like this all the time”, Gauron said with lighter tone. “I didn't know they had it here, so I haven't used it. But now that we have it, you don't have to hurt anymore.”
It just sounded too good to be true. Little by little Kashim had learned that whenever something sounded too good to be true, it probably was. Like when you thought you could run away from Gauron...
“Besides I don't even want to fuck right now, we're on a schedule”, Gauron stated and tossed the tube away. “You can just jerk it off.”
'Jerking' meant that Kashim could use just his hand. It wasn't that bad. There wasn't even no one watching them right now. The only negative thing was that sometimes Gauron changed his mind in the middle of jerking and decided that he wanted a blow or a fuck.
“Nothing else”, Kashim mumbled and took few uncertain steps forward. Gauron smiled and placed his hands on Kashim's hips, pulling him closer. Kashim's abs tensed when Gauron leaned in and kissed his bare stomach, his hands finding their way to Kashim's clothed ass.
“Mmm... You feel so good”, the man mumbled and rubbed Kashim's tensed behind with his hands. “Such a tight ass... What I wouldn't give to just fuck you forever”, Gauron hummed and pressed his cheek against Kashim's stomach. The man's stubble had grown and was extremely coarse against his skin. “I'm sorry about yesterday. I just lose it when you're so beautiful, Kashim, all sprawled out and taking me inside you.” The man sighed deeply. “Come on, just a quick blow. Your lips are so amazing.” Gauron's large hand rose to Kashim's cheek and his thumb rubbed against Kashim's lower lip.
“No”, Kashim said quietly. He wouldn't do it again. Not when Gauron had just yesterday gone all the way.
Gauron chuckled a little and took a hold of Kashim's hips. The boy let out a yelp when he was picked up and thrown on to the bed. “Did you just say 'no' to me?” Gauron smiled, and held himself over Kashim, his hands on either side of the boy's head.
“You said you wouldn't lie to me”, Kashim reminded the man. He felt more than just a little nervous, Gauron naked and on top of him like that.
Gauron brushed his cheek with his hand. There was a stern expression on his face, Kashim stared back at the man. There wasn't all that much that Gauron could do to him that he hadn't done already. Or at least Kashim thought so. It wasn't likely that the man would torture him. There was nothing to gain by that.
“And I won't.” Gauron leaned lower and would have kissed Kashim, if the boy hadn't turned his head away. Gauron's grip on his chin was firm as he forced Kashim to face him. The kiss was slow and intimate. Gauron pulled Kashim's mouth open and his wet tongue intruded Kashim's mouth. He tasted quite foul after the night and previously drank vodka. Gauron's other hand found it's way on to Kashim's crotch.
“Stop it”, Kashim ordered in rising panic and tried to wrestle the larger man off him.
“You would like it”, the man grunted, massaging Kashim through his pants. “It could feel so good, if you'd just let me.”
“No...” Kashim protested through gritted teeth and tried to knee the man.
Gauron lifted himself higher and backhanded Kashim hard across his face. “I'm trying to be nice here!” he barked. “What the fuck is your problem?!”
Kashim could taste blood in his mouth. But for some reason it felt like a good kind of pain. This kind he could handle.
Gauron stared at him furiously and would have probably hit him again if Vostrikov hadn't come to the doorway. The other man was already fully clothed in his uniform and even his greyish hair was neatly combed. “Sir, it's already seven o'clock.”
Gauron kept staring at Kashim. “Get the car ready and call the pilot”, he grunted to Vostrikov and got up to put on his clothes.
Vostrikov glanced at Kashim, before turning his face to Gauron. “Are the plans still the same?”
“Yes. But you don't have time to haul the cunt around. I need you here to supervise these idiots. There's a fortune on those poppy fields and that money is ours”, Gauron answered and turned his eyes to Kashim. “Go finish her off.” Kashim took off immediately, relieved to have some orders to follow instead of lying on the bed. “And don't waste bullets on her!”
Kashim walked to the living room. The woman lifted her eyes to him. She was crying but not pleading or begging. It was weird, but Kashim didn't over-think it. He stepped behind her, wrapped his arm around her delicate neck. Even then she didn't fight back. Kashim twisted. There was a loud crack.
“Don't you just love how efficient he is?” Gauron asked Vostrikov in the bedroom. “It's like a dog you can fuck.”
**
They drove to a small airstrip with one plane on it. Gauron stepped out from the truck and pulled Kashim out with him. Few men beside the plane saluted them but Gauron ignored it completely. There was stiffness in Kashim's legs as Gauron kept pushing him towards the plane. When they reached the steps that would take them inside Kashim stopped all together.
“What now?” Gauron groaned and shoved Kashim to step forward. “It's just a fucking...” he trailed off and laughed then, probably at the horror stricken expression on Kashim's face. “You've never flown before.” He laughed a little louder before taking Kashim's wrist and forcing it to a painful angle. Kashim rushed the stairs up to keep his wrist from breaking. “It won't fall, I promise.”
Kashim had never been on a plane. He didn't understand how a giant piece of metal was supposed to stay in the sky. It didn't make any sense at all. If you jumped into the air with an AS it always came down, hard. Planes weren't any different, right?
“Come on”, Gauron said and walked past Kashim. The plane looked nothing like Kashim had expected. It was like a large room, nothing like the insides of a confined AS. There were several big chairs along the walls and small tables between them. The floor was covered with a thick mat and the walls were painted with neutral shade of grey. There was a young western woman standing next to one of the chairs. She was very pretty as far as Kashim could tell. He hadn't seen many women during his life and even less western ones. She had long blonde hair and very red lips.
“Welcome on board, sir”, the woman said in English. “We are ready for the take-off whenever you are.”
Gauron smiled. “Very good. Do you have everything I requested?”
The woman gestured towards two large plastic bags which were draped over one of the chair. “Two sets of black suits. The weaponry is located at the cargo hold and will be handed to you as we land. You can find the list of refreshments and foods we have on board from this list”, she said and took a paper from one of the tables.
“And your name is?” Gauron asked with such a sugary voice that Kashim had to glance at the man.
“My name is Susan, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise, Susan. Likewise. Tell you what,” Gauron said and pushed Kashim to take a seat on one of the chairs. “If you would be so kind and bring Kashim here something to drink before we start the engines that would be great. He's a bit nervous about his first flight.”
Susan cast a radiant smile to Kashim. “Certainly, sir.” the woman went to the back of the plane.
“Kashim.”
Kashim turned his eyes to Gauron, who sat next to him. The man secured a ridiculously insufficient seatbelt around Kashim's waste. He felt his heart race and his breathing getting faster. Where were the helmets? And the armour? Were were the controls of this thing?!
“Here's everything you need to know”, the man said and handed some small leaflet to Kashim. The boy took the paper and studied the pictures in it. It had some writing on it too, but since it was in English, Kashim couldn't read it. The whole thing didn't make very much sense. There were pictures of a woman breathing through something that looked like a gas mask. In another set a man was putting on some yellow vest. An armour maybe.
It didn't take long for the woman to come back and place a glass in front of Kashim. “Drink that”, Gauron ordered and placed the glass in front of Kashim.
Kashim glanced at the glass. He never drank alcohol. He had seen what it did to people and Kashim didn't want to become careless like them. He wanted to keep his head clear in this new situation. “No, thank you”, he said quietly.
“It wasn't a question.” Gauron's voice was stern.
Kashim took the glass and stared at it for a moment, before tossing the liquid in his throat. It burned and made Kashim cough. It tasted horrible and changed absolutely nothing in Kashim's thoughts or behaviour. He took the leaflet back into his hands and started to stare at it again. The engines started and Gauron turned his glance out of the window.
“What is this shit?” Kashim asked, getting slightly more nervous.
“It's the safety instructions”, Gauron stated. Kashim stared at the pictures awhile longer.
The instructions weren't good for anything. They didn't tell anything about how the plane worked or how to operate it. “How is this supposed to save me if something happens?” Kashim pointed at the picture where a man was crouching on his seat, covering his head. “They don't even tell what things could happen!” Kashim exclaimed louder. “What kind of instructions are these?!”
Gauron turned his eyes calmly to the leaflet. “That's what you do if something goes wrong”, Gauron stated and tapped the picture of the crouching man with his large index finger. “And I take care of the rest.”
Kashim stared at the man for a moment. The plane started to move and as Kashim gripped the arm rests, Gauron placed his larger hand on top of his. The machine gained speed and the whole thing rattled. Just when Kashim started to wonder how much faster could they go, the ground behind the small windows started to lower and then disappeared. Kashim leaned quickly forward to look out of the window and watched as the airstrip below them shrank and then the whole town and the fields around it and soon they were above the mountains. His ears hurt and Kashim grimaced.
“It's the air pressure. Just like diving”, Gauron stated calmly. “Just do the Valsalva maneuver.”
Kashim glanced at him before pinching his nose close with his right hand and breathing out with his mouth closed. A small pop in his ears reduced the pain immediately. Kashim stared out of the window. They were climbing through clouds. It looked amazing. Kashim had never even dreamed he could see clouds from the inside. There was always something new around the corner. New things to see and learn.
Just like diving.
He hadn't even known how to swim when he had joined Gauron's group. Back then he hadn't talked much either so when they had been crossing the Sistan Lake to get out of Iran and the boat was shot full of holes Kashim had almost drowned. After that Gauron had taught him to swim. Basically by taking him to a small lake near Kandahar and pushing him in every time he tried to come out so that in the end Kashim had had to swam to the other side to get out. He had almost drowned then too, but he had learned how to swim.
Kashim didn't think about if often, but Gauron had taught him many things. Things you had to know if you wanted to survive in that kind of world. Kashim knew how to fight using anything he could find or just with his bare hands, he spoke three different languages and was learning to speak two more, he mastered more than 100 different type of weapons, AS' included and had the stamina to outrun most of the people he had ever met.
He didn't know much about the politics. He could only read and write Afghan, not Russian or English. Even though he had thought he knew Afghanistan like the back of his hand, he had gotten lost just a few days ago. He had thought he knew how to survive, but still he would've died again without Gauron's help. There were still lot to learn.
It was easy to say that Kashim was at his happiest, when he was learning something new. It made him feel stronger and better and it took his thoughts off about other things. And for some reason it felt good when Gauron seemed to be proud of him.
“How does it stay in the air?” Kashim asked quietly, staring out of the window. They were now above the clouds. The whole flying bothered Kashim a lot. It shouldn't have been possible. It was against everything that Kashim knew about the laws of nature.
“It's complicated”, Gauron mumbled. He opened his seat belt and lowered the seat so he could rest better. “But it won't come down so you can just relax. Take a nap, have a wank.”
Kashim glanced at the man, but didn't bother saying anything. Gauron knew fully well that Kashim didn't “wank”. Gauron stared back at him with slightly lifted brows. “What?” Kashim had to ask after a moment.
“Have a wank”, Gauron beckoned.
Kashim let out a dismissive snort and turned his head towards the window again. “No thank you.”
“I've haven't seen you jerk off lately”, Gauron said with a pondering tone. “You still do that, right?”
Kashim was silent a while longer. No, he was quite sure about this. “I've never done it.”
“Don't bullshit me!” Gauron snorted and for some reason he sounded a bit angry. “Everyone does it. Jesus, you're 16 or something, right?”
Kashim shrugged. The truth was, he didn't know how old he was. Few years after he had joined the group one doctor had estimated him to be somewhere around twelve. Yeah, that was about four years ago. But that was only based on his height and teeth.
Gauron sat up and stared at Kashim. “You're 16 and you tell me you've never jerked off?” He thought about something. “Well... you've cummed, right?”
Kashim's face turned slightly pink. He really didn't want to talk about this.
“When we're together, you've cummed, right?” Gauron pressed and started to sound like there was something seriously wrong.
Kashim knew that there were two answers here; the correct answer and the truth. It was always difficult to choose the truth, but Kashim had learned that Gauron found out the truth anyway. Lying would always be the worse option. “No.” His voice got strangled in his throat. Would it make Gauron pissed to tell him that? It might have been offensive or something.
Gauron kept staring at him. Kashim knew it even if he didn't saw the man. The silence was brooding.
Kashim glanced at Gauron and tried to shrug it off. “It's just...” What was he doing?! Was he trying to make Gauron feel better about this?! “It hurts really bad.”
Gauron stared at him silently and his lips contorted in unamused way. He reached his hand up to press some button on the ceiling. Almost instantly the western woman, Susan, walked to them.
“Yes, sir?” the woman asked Gauron.
“How does our flight time look like?”
“Well sir, at the moment we are right on schedule. The normal flight time is about 6 hours 20 minutes and we should arrive Singapore at two pm.”
“What's the local time there then?”
“5.30 pm, sir.”
“Perfect. We'll eat lunch at about eleven. Before that we are perfectly fine.”
The woman nodded. “If you need anything, just call me.” The woman bowed slightly and went again to the front of the plane. The door between the areas closed.
Gauron turned to Kashim and the smile on his face didn't promise anything good. “Now, have a wank.”
Kashim's jaws tensed immediately. “But... I...”
“Open your pants and take your cock out. Either you will do this on your own or I'll do it for you. The decision is yours.”
Kashim's hands were trembling slightly. This was already the second time today that Gauron was like this and it was only eight in the morning. “No sex, then?” he asked quietly.
Gauron chuckled and took a more relaxed posture on his seat. “Well I can't promise anything, you're so fucking hot. But I'll show you how to do stuff without it hurting.”
It sounded too good to be true. Kashim stared at his hands. Only when Gauron shifted his hand towards him, Kashim snapped out of his thoughts. “No! I'll.. do it myself.”
“That's a good boy”, Gauron mused and pulled his hand back. “Take it out.”
Kashim kept his eyes on his hands because Gauron's stare was too unnerving. Kashim opened the trousers and pulled his member out, trying to block most of the view with his hand.
“Don't worry about it. It will keep growing, most likely”, Gauron said and propped his head against his palm. “Wrap your fingers around it and pull back. Just like you do to me only slower.”
Kashim gritted his teeth and started to move his hand. He had never even thought that there might be something wrong with him when he wasn't anywhere near Gauron's size. The man was bigger in every other way too so Kashim had never really compared them. He hadn't realised it was something to worry about.
“Close your eyes.”
Kashim kept his eyes on his hand. He so wouldn't close his eyes now when Gauron was right next to him. Kashim didn't want any surprises. “It's fine...” he mumbled.
“Close your eyes”, Gauron repeated. “Concentrate on how it feels.”
With hesitation Kashim closed his eyes. It didn't make much difference, since he could hear Gauron breath next to him. Kashim kept his hand moving and he was about to tell Gauron how he didn't feel anything when he suddenly jolted. His hand stopped immediately and his eyes shot open.
“Keep going”, Gauron said with a chuckle.
Kashim really didn't feel like continuing. He hadn't been sure what he had felt, but he was pretty sure he hadn't liked it. Most likely. When Gauron's hand approached him again, Kashim hit it away and started to zip his pants up with haste.
“Oh come on, it's nothing to be ashamed of”, Gauron groaned. “It feels good, so fucking what? We're men, Kashim. It's what the whole shit is about.”
Kashim didn't answer. He sat still and stared at the opposite seat in silent horror. There was something seriously wrong with him. Doing stuff like that and enjoying it. No sane person did that. Kashim had always been above the rest of them. Now he was turning into Gauron. The thought made him sick.
Gauron snorted. “Listen; you're bound to have hard-ons at your age. Every single man does. Every fucking one. You just jerk yourself off and get it over with.” He smiled and petted Kashim's hair. “Or you can just let me do it for you.”
Kashim pulled his head away. “Don't touch me”, he snapped. “I don't like it.”
“Oh little angel, you just showed me that you do.” Gauron pulled his hand away and returned to his relaxed position. “There's a crapper right there in the back. You can just go there, lock the door and get to know your body a little better.”
Kashim tried to calm himself down. Yelling at Gauron never resulted in anything good. “Why the hell would I want to do that?” he asked annoyed. “I'm not like you.”
Gauron's eyebrows lifted. “Well first of all; yes you are and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. And secondly; if you don't know how your body's going to react to something like your own fucking touch, how the hell are you supposed to prepare yourself for something more, hmm? Makes you a pretty shitty soldier not to know what makes you tick.”
Kashim turned his eyes fully to Gauron's. “Sex and fighting have nothing to do with each other.”
“Sure they do”, Gauron said calmly. “But more importantly it's about learning to control yourself. It's a skill like any other and you'd better learn it as soon as possible.”
Kashim had to take a moment to think about what they were talking about. “Learn what?”
“Learn how to enjoy sex, of course. It's clearly a weakness for you”, Gauron chuckled.
Kashim felt a burst of anger. He did not have weaknesses. He was the best soldier Gauron had in his group and he would be even better than Gauron himself someday. “That's not true”, he growled.
“It isn't?” Gauron asked with a smile. “You mean you don't fear sex? You don't panic everytime I touch you? You didn't think of changing the team because of it?” Gauron watched him silently for a moment. “Sex can be used as a threat against you. You don't think that's a weakness?”
Kashim fell silent and thought about it. Part of what Gauron said was true. Well, all of it. Kashim gritted his teeth. He had a weakness that could be used - that had been used - against him. Shit.
“It's just like any other skill I've taught you; swimming, reading, fighting with AS”, Gauron went on. “And since I very much like fucking you, you'd better get used to it and make yourself that much stronger. And the key to that lies in your own pants and that crapper.” He grinned at Kashim. “Go have a wank and start making yourself a better soldier.”
Kashim glared at Gauron for a moment before standing up and walking to the toilet.
Status: WIP
4.
Sleeping wasn't easy that night. Even though Gauron was snoring on the other side of the double bed, there were other sounds that kept Kashim awake. In the living room Vostrikov was having sex with the wife of the house. She was screaming and crying a lot. It wouldn't have bothered Kashim so much if he hadn't known what was going on. He had seen crying women before, and even saw few of them in the hands of other men of the group. But now that he had experienced himself what it felt like to be in that position, he felt like going there and shooting Vostrikov. Kashim shifted in the bed and faced the wall. Gauron's hand came weary and heavy on his side. He smoothed Kashim's skin for awhile.
“You're awake”, he said in hoarse voice. Kashim didn't answer him. Vostrikov was hitting the woman in the living room. “Do you want me to tell him to keep it down?” The hand moved to pet Kashim's hair.
“No”, Kashim mumbled. It wouldn't make any difference. It would only make Vostrikov pissed.
Gauron chuckled in low tone. “Do you like listening to them?” His hand moved to Kashim's stomach.
“No”, Kashim said, little disturbed that the man could even think like that. There was nothing to like in this whole situation.
Gauron snorted quietly and let his arm rest on top of Kashim. “She's not really hurting. Women can't hurt during sex, they're built that way. She's just upset about his man being an asshole. Go to sleep.”
Kashim stared at the wall, not really sure if he should believe Gauron or not. He knew nothing about women and sex, so he couldn't really tell. But at least the hitting would hurt. Hitting would hurt anyone.
Kashim woke up, which meant he had slept too. He didn't know for how long, but it was dark and he wasn't tired anymore. Kashim didn't like sleeping in beds because they were always too soft and hot and they made him feel utterly vulnerable. Like someone could attack him at any moment and he would be just lying there like on a plate. Gauron seemed to be still asleep. The house was silent. As Kashim got up a hand grapped him by the wrist. Kashim turned to Gauron.
“Stay inside the house.”
“Yes sir”, he affirmed and Gauron let go of his hand, closing his eyes again.
Vostrikov was sleeping naked on the sofa. There were empty vodka bottles on the table. The woman, who was tied and gagged in the corner lifted her eyes to Kashim. She had bruises on her face and she had been crying. Her long dark hair was in tangles and she was naked too. Kashim walked past her to the kitchen and got himself some of the palao.
He stayed in the kitchen, since it was the only room in which he could be alone. There was a small window there and Kashim watched as the village started to wake up one person at a time. It was maybe two hours later when Gauron called his name.
Kashim walked into the room. Gauron was lying on the bed, arms folded behind his head. He patted the bed next to him. “Come here.”
Kashim's eyes fixed on the bulge on the sheet. He wouldn't go near the man now. There was deep silence in the room. “The woman's hurt”, Kashim decided to say, to distract Gauron as much as possible.
Gauron's eyebrow rose slightly. “So?”
Kashim opened his mouth. “She has bruises on her face. Won't that drop her price?” He had heard things like that. This wasn't the first woman they had sold.
Gauron stared at him for a moment. “Well then you should go tell Vostrikov that it will be taken out of his money.”
Kashim's eyes widened. Why he? Vostrikov would hate him after that!
“You don't want to?” Gauron asked with a smile. Kashim shook his head. “Then shut the fuck up about things that don't concern you and come here. This is the only thing that you need to take care of.” Gauron pointed his finger towards his crotch. When Kashim didn't move, the man groaned a little. “Come on. Don't make me come over there and beat you. I thought we could have a nice morning.”
Kashim's hands tightened into fists. “It's not nice.” His voice wasn't more than a whisper. Gauron stared at him. “I don't like it. I have never liked it.”
There was silence in the room. Gauron kept staring at him for a moment, before sighing and sitting up. Kashim backed away few steps immediately. There was tension in the room. “So you'd rather be hit?”
Kashim was silent for awhile. He was thinking about it. “Yes.”
Gauron's eyebrows rose. “Really? Why?”
“It hurts less and for a shorter time”, Kashim stated.
Gauron snorted and sat still for awhile. “Come on then. I won't hurt you.” Kashim didn't move a muscle. “Ok...” Gauron mumbled. “If you come here now, I won't hurt you.”
Kashim didn't know what to do. What ever he would do, it would hurt. Usually Kashim didn't care about pain when someone hit him or he was fighting with an enemy, he could handle it. But it was different with Gauron. He made everything hurt all over. Kashim had learned that pain was much worse when it was inside. You really couldn't treat wounds when they weren't even visible.
“I have never lied to you, Kashim and I never will”, Gauron said and held out his hand. “Come here. I won't do anything that will hurt you. Here,” he grunted and took his pants from the floor. He took something out of his pocket and Kashim could see the tube the medic had given him earlier. Gauron showed him the tube. “When I use this, you're not going to feel a thing.”
Kashim stared at the tube and didn't quite believe it. The pain was so unbearable that unless the tube contained something to knock him unconscious, Gauron was most definitely lying.
“Yeah yeah, the westerners use stuff like this all the time”, Gauron said with lighter tone. “I didn't know they had it here, so I haven't used it. But now that we have it, you don't have to hurt anymore.”
It just sounded too good to be true. Little by little Kashim had learned that whenever something sounded too good to be true, it probably was. Like when you thought you could run away from Gauron...
“Besides I don't even want to fuck right now, we're on a schedule”, Gauron stated and tossed the tube away. “You can just jerk it off.”
'Jerking' meant that Kashim could use just his hand. It wasn't that bad. There wasn't even no one watching them right now. The only negative thing was that sometimes Gauron changed his mind in the middle of jerking and decided that he wanted a blow or a fuck.
“Nothing else”, Kashim mumbled and took few uncertain steps forward. Gauron smiled and placed his hands on Kashim's hips, pulling him closer. Kashim's abs tensed when Gauron leaned in and kissed his bare stomach, his hands finding their way to Kashim's clothed ass.
“Mmm... You feel so good”, the man mumbled and rubbed Kashim's tensed behind with his hands. “Such a tight ass... What I wouldn't give to just fuck you forever”, Gauron hummed and pressed his cheek against Kashim's stomach. The man's stubble had grown and was extremely coarse against his skin. “I'm sorry about yesterday. I just lose it when you're so beautiful, Kashim, all sprawled out and taking me inside you.” The man sighed deeply. “Come on, just a quick blow. Your lips are so amazing.” Gauron's large hand rose to Kashim's cheek and his thumb rubbed against Kashim's lower lip.
“No”, Kashim said quietly. He wouldn't do it again. Not when Gauron had just yesterday gone all the way.
Gauron chuckled a little and took a hold of Kashim's hips. The boy let out a yelp when he was picked up and thrown on to the bed. “Did you just say 'no' to me?” Gauron smiled, and held himself over Kashim, his hands on either side of the boy's head.
“You said you wouldn't lie to me”, Kashim reminded the man. He felt more than just a little nervous, Gauron naked and on top of him like that.
Gauron brushed his cheek with his hand. There was a stern expression on his face, Kashim stared back at the man. There wasn't all that much that Gauron could do to him that he hadn't done already. Or at least Kashim thought so. It wasn't likely that the man would torture him. There was nothing to gain by that.
“And I won't.” Gauron leaned lower and would have kissed Kashim, if the boy hadn't turned his head away. Gauron's grip on his chin was firm as he forced Kashim to face him. The kiss was slow and intimate. Gauron pulled Kashim's mouth open and his wet tongue intruded Kashim's mouth. He tasted quite foul after the night and previously drank vodka. Gauron's other hand found it's way on to Kashim's crotch.
“Stop it”, Kashim ordered in rising panic and tried to wrestle the larger man off him.
“You would like it”, the man grunted, massaging Kashim through his pants. “It could feel so good, if you'd just let me.”
“No...” Kashim protested through gritted teeth and tried to knee the man.
Gauron lifted himself higher and backhanded Kashim hard across his face. “I'm trying to be nice here!” he barked. “What the fuck is your problem?!”
Kashim could taste blood in his mouth. But for some reason it felt like a good kind of pain. This kind he could handle.
Gauron stared at him furiously and would have probably hit him again if Vostrikov hadn't come to the doorway. The other man was already fully clothed in his uniform and even his greyish hair was neatly combed. “Sir, it's already seven o'clock.”
Gauron kept staring at Kashim. “Get the car ready and call the pilot”, he grunted to Vostrikov and got up to put on his clothes.
Vostrikov glanced at Kashim, before turning his face to Gauron. “Are the plans still the same?”
“Yes. But you don't have time to haul the cunt around. I need you here to supervise these idiots. There's a fortune on those poppy fields and that money is ours”, Gauron answered and turned his eyes to Kashim. “Go finish her off.” Kashim took off immediately, relieved to have some orders to follow instead of lying on the bed. “And don't waste bullets on her!”
Kashim walked to the living room. The woman lifted her eyes to him. She was crying but not pleading or begging. It was weird, but Kashim didn't over-think it. He stepped behind her, wrapped his arm around her delicate neck. Even then she didn't fight back. Kashim twisted. There was a loud crack.
“Don't you just love how efficient he is?” Gauron asked Vostrikov in the bedroom. “It's like a dog you can fuck.”
**
They drove to a small airstrip with one plane on it. Gauron stepped out from the truck and pulled Kashim out with him. Few men beside the plane saluted them but Gauron ignored it completely. There was stiffness in Kashim's legs as Gauron kept pushing him towards the plane. When they reached the steps that would take them inside Kashim stopped all together.
“What now?” Gauron groaned and shoved Kashim to step forward. “It's just a fucking...” he trailed off and laughed then, probably at the horror stricken expression on Kashim's face. “You've never flown before.” He laughed a little louder before taking Kashim's wrist and forcing it to a painful angle. Kashim rushed the stairs up to keep his wrist from breaking. “It won't fall, I promise.”
Kashim had never been on a plane. He didn't understand how a giant piece of metal was supposed to stay in the sky. It didn't make any sense at all. If you jumped into the air with an AS it always came down, hard. Planes weren't any different, right?
“Come on”, Gauron said and walked past Kashim. The plane looked nothing like Kashim had expected. It was like a large room, nothing like the insides of a confined AS. There were several big chairs along the walls and small tables between them. The floor was covered with a thick mat and the walls were painted with neutral shade of grey. There was a young western woman standing next to one of the chairs. She was very pretty as far as Kashim could tell. He hadn't seen many women during his life and even less western ones. She had long blonde hair and very red lips.
“Welcome on board, sir”, the woman said in English. “We are ready for the take-off whenever you are.”
Gauron smiled. “Very good. Do you have everything I requested?”
The woman gestured towards two large plastic bags which were draped over one of the chair. “Two sets of black suits. The weaponry is located at the cargo hold and will be handed to you as we land. You can find the list of refreshments and foods we have on board from this list”, she said and took a paper from one of the tables.
“And your name is?” Gauron asked with such a sugary voice that Kashim had to glance at the man.
“My name is Susan, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise, Susan. Likewise. Tell you what,” Gauron said and pushed Kashim to take a seat on one of the chairs. “If you would be so kind and bring Kashim here something to drink before we start the engines that would be great. He's a bit nervous about his first flight.”
Susan cast a radiant smile to Kashim. “Certainly, sir.” the woman went to the back of the plane.
“Kashim.”
Kashim turned his eyes to Gauron, who sat next to him. The man secured a ridiculously insufficient seatbelt around Kashim's waste. He felt his heart race and his breathing getting faster. Where were the helmets? And the armour? Were were the controls of this thing?!
“Here's everything you need to know”, the man said and handed some small leaflet to Kashim. The boy took the paper and studied the pictures in it. It had some writing on it too, but since it was in English, Kashim couldn't read it. The whole thing didn't make very much sense. There were pictures of a woman breathing through something that looked like a gas mask. In another set a man was putting on some yellow vest. An armour maybe.
It didn't take long for the woman to come back and place a glass in front of Kashim. “Drink that”, Gauron ordered and placed the glass in front of Kashim.
Kashim glanced at the glass. He never drank alcohol. He had seen what it did to people and Kashim didn't want to become careless like them. He wanted to keep his head clear in this new situation. “No, thank you”, he said quietly.
“It wasn't a question.” Gauron's voice was stern.
Kashim took the glass and stared at it for a moment, before tossing the liquid in his throat. It burned and made Kashim cough. It tasted horrible and changed absolutely nothing in Kashim's thoughts or behaviour. He took the leaflet back into his hands and started to stare at it again. The engines started and Gauron turned his glance out of the window.
“What is this shit?” Kashim asked, getting slightly more nervous.
“It's the safety instructions”, Gauron stated. Kashim stared at the pictures awhile longer.
The instructions weren't good for anything. They didn't tell anything about how the plane worked or how to operate it. “How is this supposed to save me if something happens?” Kashim pointed at the picture where a man was crouching on his seat, covering his head. “They don't even tell what things could happen!” Kashim exclaimed louder. “What kind of instructions are these?!”
Gauron turned his eyes calmly to the leaflet. “That's what you do if something goes wrong”, Gauron stated and tapped the picture of the crouching man with his large index finger. “And I take care of the rest.”
Kashim stared at the man for a moment. The plane started to move and as Kashim gripped the arm rests, Gauron placed his larger hand on top of his. The machine gained speed and the whole thing rattled. Just when Kashim started to wonder how much faster could they go, the ground behind the small windows started to lower and then disappeared. Kashim leaned quickly forward to look out of the window and watched as the airstrip below them shrank and then the whole town and the fields around it and soon they were above the mountains. His ears hurt and Kashim grimaced.
“It's the air pressure. Just like diving”, Gauron stated calmly. “Just do the Valsalva maneuver.”
Kashim glanced at him before pinching his nose close with his right hand and breathing out with his mouth closed. A small pop in his ears reduced the pain immediately. Kashim stared out of the window. They were climbing through clouds. It looked amazing. Kashim had never even dreamed he could see clouds from the inside. There was always something new around the corner. New things to see and learn.
Just like diving.
He hadn't even known how to swim when he had joined Gauron's group. Back then he hadn't talked much either so when they had been crossing the Sistan Lake to get out of Iran and the boat was shot full of holes Kashim had almost drowned. After that Gauron had taught him to swim. Basically by taking him to a small lake near Kandahar and pushing him in every time he tried to come out so that in the end Kashim had had to swam to the other side to get out. He had almost drowned then too, but he had learned how to swim.
Kashim didn't think about if often, but Gauron had taught him many things. Things you had to know if you wanted to survive in that kind of world. Kashim knew how to fight using anything he could find or just with his bare hands, he spoke three different languages and was learning to speak two more, he mastered more than 100 different type of weapons, AS' included and had the stamina to outrun most of the people he had ever met.
He didn't know much about the politics. He could only read and write Afghan, not Russian or English. Even though he had thought he knew Afghanistan like the back of his hand, he had gotten lost just a few days ago. He had thought he knew how to survive, but still he would've died again without Gauron's help. There were still lot to learn.
It was easy to say that Kashim was at his happiest, when he was learning something new. It made him feel stronger and better and it took his thoughts off about other things. And for some reason it felt good when Gauron seemed to be proud of him.
“How does it stay in the air?” Kashim asked quietly, staring out of the window. They were now above the clouds. The whole flying bothered Kashim a lot. It shouldn't have been possible. It was against everything that Kashim knew about the laws of nature.
“It's complicated”, Gauron mumbled. He opened his seat belt and lowered the seat so he could rest better. “But it won't come down so you can just relax. Take a nap, have a wank.”
Kashim glanced at the man, but didn't bother saying anything. Gauron knew fully well that Kashim didn't “wank”. Gauron stared back at him with slightly lifted brows. “What?” Kashim had to ask after a moment.
“Have a wank”, Gauron beckoned.
Kashim let out a dismissive snort and turned his head towards the window again. “No thank you.”
“I've haven't seen you jerk off lately”, Gauron said with a pondering tone. “You still do that, right?”
Kashim was silent a while longer. No, he was quite sure about this. “I've never done it.”
“Don't bullshit me!” Gauron snorted and for some reason he sounded a bit angry. “Everyone does it. Jesus, you're 16 or something, right?”
Kashim shrugged. The truth was, he didn't know how old he was. Few years after he had joined the group one doctor had estimated him to be somewhere around twelve. Yeah, that was about four years ago. But that was only based on his height and teeth.
Gauron sat up and stared at Kashim. “You're 16 and you tell me you've never jerked off?” He thought about something. “Well... you've cummed, right?”
Kashim's face turned slightly pink. He really didn't want to talk about this.
“When we're together, you've cummed, right?” Gauron pressed and started to sound like there was something seriously wrong.
Kashim knew that there were two answers here; the correct answer and the truth. It was always difficult to choose the truth, but Kashim had learned that Gauron found out the truth anyway. Lying would always be the worse option. “No.” His voice got strangled in his throat. Would it make Gauron pissed to tell him that? It might have been offensive or something.
Gauron kept staring at him. Kashim knew it even if he didn't saw the man. The silence was brooding.
Kashim glanced at Gauron and tried to shrug it off. “It's just...” What was he doing?! Was he trying to make Gauron feel better about this?! “It hurts really bad.”
Gauron stared at him silently and his lips contorted in unamused way. He reached his hand up to press some button on the ceiling. Almost instantly the western woman, Susan, walked to them.
“Yes, sir?” the woman asked Gauron.
“How does our flight time look like?”
“Well sir, at the moment we are right on schedule. The normal flight time is about 6 hours 20 minutes and we should arrive Singapore at two pm.”
“What's the local time there then?”
“5.30 pm, sir.”
“Perfect. We'll eat lunch at about eleven. Before that we are perfectly fine.”
The woman nodded. “If you need anything, just call me.” The woman bowed slightly and went again to the front of the plane. The door between the areas closed.
Gauron turned to Kashim and the smile on his face didn't promise anything good. “Now, have a wank.”
Kashim's jaws tensed immediately. “But... I...”
“Open your pants and take your cock out. Either you will do this on your own or I'll do it for you. The decision is yours.”
Kashim's hands were trembling slightly. This was already the second time today that Gauron was like this and it was only eight in the morning. “No sex, then?” he asked quietly.
Gauron chuckled and took a more relaxed posture on his seat. “Well I can't promise anything, you're so fucking hot. But I'll show you how to do stuff without it hurting.”
It sounded too good to be true. Kashim stared at his hands. Only when Gauron shifted his hand towards him, Kashim snapped out of his thoughts. “No! I'll.. do it myself.”
“That's a good boy”, Gauron mused and pulled his hand back. “Take it out.”
Kashim kept his eyes on his hands because Gauron's stare was too unnerving. Kashim opened the trousers and pulled his member out, trying to block most of the view with his hand.
“Don't worry about it. It will keep growing, most likely”, Gauron said and propped his head against his palm. “Wrap your fingers around it and pull back. Just like you do to me only slower.”
Kashim gritted his teeth and started to move his hand. He had never even thought that there might be something wrong with him when he wasn't anywhere near Gauron's size. The man was bigger in every other way too so Kashim had never really compared them. He hadn't realised it was something to worry about.
“Close your eyes.”
Kashim kept his eyes on his hand. He so wouldn't close his eyes now when Gauron was right next to him. Kashim didn't want any surprises. “It's fine...” he mumbled.
“Close your eyes”, Gauron repeated. “Concentrate on how it feels.”
With hesitation Kashim closed his eyes. It didn't make much difference, since he could hear Gauron breath next to him. Kashim kept his hand moving and he was about to tell Gauron how he didn't feel anything when he suddenly jolted. His hand stopped immediately and his eyes shot open.
“Keep going”, Gauron said with a chuckle.
Kashim really didn't feel like continuing. He hadn't been sure what he had felt, but he was pretty sure he hadn't liked it. Most likely. When Gauron's hand approached him again, Kashim hit it away and started to zip his pants up with haste.
“Oh come on, it's nothing to be ashamed of”, Gauron groaned. “It feels good, so fucking what? We're men, Kashim. It's what the whole shit is about.”
Kashim didn't answer. He sat still and stared at the opposite seat in silent horror. There was something seriously wrong with him. Doing stuff like that and enjoying it. No sane person did that. Kashim had always been above the rest of them. Now he was turning into Gauron. The thought made him sick.
Gauron snorted. “Listen; you're bound to have hard-ons at your age. Every single man does. Every fucking one. You just jerk yourself off and get it over with.” He smiled and petted Kashim's hair. “Or you can just let me do it for you.”
Kashim pulled his head away. “Don't touch me”, he snapped. “I don't like it.”
“Oh little angel, you just showed me that you do.” Gauron pulled his hand away and returned to his relaxed position. “There's a crapper right there in the back. You can just go there, lock the door and get to know your body a little better.”
Kashim tried to calm himself down. Yelling at Gauron never resulted in anything good. “Why the hell would I want to do that?” he asked annoyed. “I'm not like you.”
Gauron's eyebrows lifted. “Well first of all; yes you are and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. And secondly; if you don't know how your body's going to react to something like your own fucking touch, how the hell are you supposed to prepare yourself for something more, hmm? Makes you a pretty shitty soldier not to know what makes you tick.”
Kashim turned his eyes fully to Gauron's. “Sex and fighting have nothing to do with each other.”
“Sure they do”, Gauron said calmly. “But more importantly it's about learning to control yourself. It's a skill like any other and you'd better learn it as soon as possible.”
Kashim had to take a moment to think about what they were talking about. “Learn what?”
“Learn how to enjoy sex, of course. It's clearly a weakness for you”, Gauron chuckled.
Kashim felt a burst of anger. He did not have weaknesses. He was the best soldier Gauron had in his group and he would be even better than Gauron himself someday. “That's not true”, he growled.
“It isn't?” Gauron asked with a smile. “You mean you don't fear sex? You don't panic everytime I touch you? You didn't think of changing the team because of it?” Gauron watched him silently for a moment. “Sex can be used as a threat against you. You don't think that's a weakness?”
Kashim fell silent and thought about it. Part of what Gauron said was true. Well, all of it. Kashim gritted his teeth. He had a weakness that could be used - that had been used - against him. Shit.
“It's just like any other skill I've taught you; swimming, reading, fighting with AS”, Gauron went on. “And since I very much like fucking you, you'd better get used to it and make yourself that much stronger. And the key to that lies in your own pants and that crapper.” He grinned at Kashim. “Go have a wank and start making yourself a better soldier.”
Kashim glared at Gauron for a moment before standing up and walking to the toilet.