Comments | kokopelli20878: Dreams of Cold Fusion

kokopelli20878

Dreams of Cold Fusion - Chapter the First

May 29, 2007 16:24

Cold, biting cold - he’d forgotten how he’d ended up here, remembering faintly his relief that his friends were cleanly away, but that relief had been subsumed by the cold and the darkness. He’d always wondered if the prophecy meant that he couldn’t be killed by anyone other than Voldemort. Ron had joked about it once, saying that he should try ( Read more... )

Comments 7

amamama May 29 2007, 22:33:40 UTC

Well, I think the utmost thanks should go to the big mahatma client that kept you waiting! You put the wait to wonderful use.

Millicent is even nicer here than in the first draft, I find that I really like her. And I'm still curious about the beginning, with Harry's zoning in and out, the cold, the body and the Dreamweaver. All in due time I expect.

Her 'how to behave on a date' words of advice were great. And the misinterpretation possibilities of simple codes... Great fun.

I certainly look forward to finding the story becoming more and less clear. lol

Berte

celtic_meg May 29 2007, 22:33:47 UTC

Well. I have to say I enjoyed this even more than the first snippet - and yes, I did reread everything so I could take it all in at once. VERY interesting background for Millicent so far. Absolutely realistic reaction for her to have (gaining the weight, dressing ugly) though I'd expect more harassment from Nott's cousin if he was only a 6th year when it happened.

Only nit to pick is that electives weren't started until 3rd year.

Looking forward to more!

Thanks,

Meg

canon nit kokopelli20878 May 30 2007, 00:31:02 UTC

Yes, I know that Harry and Ron didn't take electives until 3rd year, but could Hermione have snuck one in during second year?

I took this liberty to explain part of Millicent's animosity to Hermione.

Everything is there for a reason.

Canon Nit explained? celtic_meg May 30 2007, 03:49:08 UTC

Ooookay...I could see Hermione sneaking one in during second year ( ... )

brother_art May 29 2007, 23:36:03 UTC

Hmm, 5'11' is pretty tall. Millie's a big girl. I note Harry on toes... hmm, how tall is he?

One goof - Arithmancy did not start until 3rd year, you've written 2nd.

big girls kokopelli20878 May 30 2007, 00:33:55 UTC

Actually, Milly is 6+ - Harry's about 5'8" - an inch taller than my Dad.

clapping klung77 May 30 2007, 01:06:22 UTC

I usually dont like non H/G or H/Gabrielle stories but this one is good. I like the inter-play between the two, but I am waiting on the proverbial shoe to drop ie: Ginny didnt die but hates Harry because he left her to get hurt etc. I will keep reading