Growing Gracefully- Toddler (3/?)

[kokoro2]

Title: Growing Gracefully
Pairings: USUK
Rating: T
Warnings: Mentions of sexual situations and an OC
Summary: Alfred and Arthur tackle parenthood, and so much more. (Hospital Flowers sequel.)
This chapter: Grace is a toddler, and brings a headache to her poor daddies.


Alfred answered his phone far too calmly in comparison to my excitement. "Hey babe. What's up?"

"She spoke!" I shouted in glee. I was still dancing in the kitchen with my apron on while Grace tried to mimic me in her high chair. "Oh darling, she said her first word!"

"Really?! Babe, that's fantastic! Did you record it?!" Alfred spoke too quickly and his accent made it harder for me to understand. I only caught half of it.

I laughed. "Of course! I know you'll be home in two hours, but I had to tell you now! I could send it to your mobile if you would like."

"No, I wanna be there with you two," Alfred replied in a much calmer tone. He sighed to catch his breath. I knew the feeling. My emotions were all over the place, and it was hard to keep a level head.

A shrill bell in the background went off, startling us both. My good mood evaporated as Alfred gave a hasty reply and then hung up. I dropped my phone as I fumbled to hang up. Grace watched with curious eyes. I clutched the phone to my chest as I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I didn't want to alarm Grace.

"Everything's all right, poppet," I said slowly. "Papa just had a little fright, that's all."

Grace understood me, or at least, that's what I told myself. We may not have been biologically bound, but I felt there was a strong bond between us. For a while I feared she wouldn't want anything to do with me during a spout of her constant rebelling against me. As she became a little more mobile, she grew closer to me. I reveled in this attention, but worried she might start to push away again if I was too overbearing.

Now was not the time to think of such depressing thoughts. It was grocery time; something Grace took great delight in doing. She loved grabbing everything and anything from the shelves, much to my frustration. Her delighted giggles, though, always seemed to melt my irritated mood and I learned to laugh it off.

Alfred, on the other hand, had very little bonding times with our daughter as he would come home from work and collapse in our bed. It was summer in L.A., which meant a higher threat of field fires in the outlier counties that required multiple units to help control the flames. Sometimes Alfred would work twelve to fourteen hours if the fires were really bad. The news was constantly on during these times. There was less of a chance of him getting hurt, but if there was even the slightest risk, I was in a panic. When he came home, all he did was sleep. I hardly saw much of him, and worse, Grace saw even less.

Feeling bold, I detoured from the grocery store. Whenever I had it rough, Alfred was always there for me. Right now, he needed his family. I pulled up to the fire house a short while later. I grabbed Grace from her car seat and headed inside.

The station was quiet for the moment. The men were still out, but there was always one man on duty to act as operator for when someone called in an emergency. It was his job to alert the firemen on duty to detour from the station to head to the next fire. Grace looked around in awe at the building. She had been in only once before, but only when she was an infant.

"Muh?" Grace made grabby hands at a picture of Alfred on the wall. I smiled; relieved she could still recognize him.

"Yes, that's daddy," I said.

"Muh?" She looked at me.

"No, daddy." I pointed at the photograph.

"Muh!" Grace smiled and reached for another photo.

I admired Alfred's picture. He wore his full attire and smiled proudly at the camera. He seemed so much younger even though the picture had to have been less than a year old. I wondered when exactly it was taken. Was it before or after we had Grace? She'd only been alive for five months, and yet we'd already changed so much.

Gently, I touched the photograph, just over Alfred's cheek. I felt tears well up as a wave of longing struck me. Suddenly, nothing mattered but Alfred's arms around me and my face pressed into his neck, feeling him breathe against my chest and hearing his voice as he spoke. The sensation left me short of breath. I stepped back, clinging to Grace, and gulping down short gasps for air.

"Arthur? Is that you?" Sam, the operator, came out from his small office. He was a volunteer firefighter. He had retired from his old job years ago, but took this position to help pass the time. I had been reminded of a sort of Santa Claus, just with less fat. He had always been kind to me and Alfred in the past, so I felt no need to tense up at his sudden appearance.

" 'Ello Sam." I wiped a tear before turning to him. "How are you?"

"Thirsty. Want some tea?" I nodded, grateful for the offer. He tickled Grace's feet. "She's getting awfully big!"

"I know." I shifted her weight in my arms to help manage with the large baby bag on my other arm. "She said her first word today."

"Really?! Is that why you're here?" Sam asked. "Gonna show Alfred?"

"That, and, well, I miss my husband." The fire house was the only public place I felt comfortable called Alfred by his "proper" title. "These field fires are creating quite a rift. I'm sure it's the same for the other wives."

Sam nodded, gesturing into the kitchen. I followed him, setting Grace on the ground with a few of her toys from home. We closed the door so she wouldn't crawl out. Firemen were clean, so I knew she would be fine on the floor. She was quick to go to every single part of the room. I watched her carefully from my seat at the table.

Sam put a kettle on the stove. He chuckled as he watched Grace too. "She's a fast little thing isn't she? Just like her dad."

"Yes, she's very much like him. Sometimes I wonder if they actually are related."

"Now that would be something," Sam laughed.

He offered me a cup of tea, to which I took happily. It was exactly what I needed.

"So you and Alfred aren't getting enough time together?" Sam asked after a moment. I nodded. "Ever think of a vacation?"

"I don't think we can afford it," I said sadly. "I haven't had time to write or do any interviews to get any extra dosh since Grace was born. And with Grace…"

"It doesn't have to be anything major. Even just a night out to dinner and a hotel could really help. Hell, leave her with me for a few hours. She loves her Uncle Sam."

I smiled happily as the old man winked at me just like Santa would. "That's very kind of you, thank you."

"Listen here, Arthur. I've been married thirty-five years. The thing any married man needs in his life is his mate, especially when he's a new dad. Without one, he'll fade into nothing. Someone's gotta rescue him."

"Yes, well, he's saved me plenty of times. I suppose the least I could do is take him out on a few dates."

Of course I would do more than this, but Sam understood my point. Grace might be here, but Alfred's and my relationship as a couple didn't have to suffer. Fires or not, we had still made it through somehow before, and we'd continue to do so.The sound of the garage door opening, followed by the hum of the truck pulling in prompted me to get up. I'd been talking with Sam for well over two hours. There hadn't been any major fires today, but I was still amazed they'd been out for so long. Grace had dozed during that time. The noises woke her, much to her chagrin. She began to fuss until I gave her the pacifier. Unfortunately, I had left her bottle of milk at home. I hadn't planned on being out so late and hadn't remembered to bring any food in the bag. Hopefully she wouldn't get hungry.

I waited patiently as the men trekked back inside. They all seemed tired, but none more than my Alfred. His eyes looked hollow and there were dark bags under his eyes. I can't remember seeing him so tired that his shoulders and back were hunched from all the work on him. He almost missed me had Grace not decided to start wailing in my arms.

Alfred snapped upright instantly as he looked over at us with wide eyes. "Artie? Grace?!" He rushed over, inspecting Grace. "What're you doing here? Why's she crying?!"

I juggled Grace in my arms to rock her. That was her hungry cry. So much for her not getting hungry.

I sighed irritably. "We missed you, so we came to visit. Only, Grace got too hungry."

"D'ya have a bottle?" I grimaced. Alfred understood, and he began to back up towards the door. "Okay, lemme run out to get something."

And he did just that, still in full gear. When it came to his baby, there was nothing he wouldn't do.

A few moments later, Grace was content as she sucked on a bottle of warm milk, fresh from the store. Alfred and I sat in Sam's office for some privacy to talk. There were old and new photos on the wall of young firefighters standing around their fire truck. Men and women all smiled out as they posed proudly. There in the Eighties had faded, giving the usually bright red truck a slightly auburn color to it. Behind Sam's desk was the flag of the ladder. I saw an old, yellow fire helmet on top of a filing cabinet with the number sixteen on it.

I explained to Alfred my plan to surprise him with Grace so he could hear her speak. He snuggled up beside me on the old leather couch facing the desk. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I was surprised," he said gently. His hand was rubbing up and down my arm that was cradling Grace. "Trust me. But you didn't have to wait until I got back. I'd be home in a few hours."

"She'd be asleep by then, as would you." Alfred frowned. I put a hand on his knee. "It's not your fault, my love. I know times have been rough lately. That's why I'm here."

Alfred's eyes spoke loudly of his gratitude and love. He couldn't say it easily, so he leaned in to kiss me tenderly instead. I sighed against his lips, putting one hand on his jaw. It was reassuring to know he was still here and actually by my side. I wasn't sleeping and dreaming up this moment. Sometimes I tended to forget to appreciate what Alfred and I had, even if we often felt it wasn't a lot. But we were together and we had a baby and that was certainly more than enough for us.

"Muh-muh?"

We broke the kiss to look down at Grace. She was watching us back. Alfred took her into his arms and smiled widely. It was refreshing to see light in those eyes again.

"Your first word!" he exclaimed. "Did you say mommy?"

"Technically she said muhmuh and that was her second word." Alfred shot me a murderous look. I flinched away from him. "But mummy is fine too!"

Alfred laughed, his expression gone, and kissed my cheek. "You're so cute."

"Darling, how about we go out tonight?" I brushed a strand of hair behind his ear. He shivered. "You need to relax."

"We can't," he breathed.

I leaned in to breath against the shell of his ear. "Sure we can. We'll just ask one of the boys to take care of her for a while."

"N-no," he stuttered. He closed his eyes and breathed slowly. "I'm saving up for a vacation."

I say back with a surprised expression. "What?"

Alfred nodded sheepishly, trying to compose himself. He was red all the way to the ear I had just whispered in. "I want to escape with you and our baby. Somewhere up north."

San Francisco was on the tip of my tongue, but Alfred shook his head. "Not S.F. Somewhere smaller than that. I want it to be quiet and definitely not a city."

"Alfred, when did you plan this?" I asked.

"Sometimes during one of the fires I thought to myself that I should make some memories with you and Grace." He caressed the bottom of Grace's foot. "I'm missed so much…"

"Darling, that is not true. You have been there. You were there at her birth, all the nights she needed a daddy, and on your days off when you two nap together in your pants. Times are rough now, but it won't be forever. You won't miss every important event in life. I know you'll be there when she scrapes her knee, when she learns to ride a bicycle, and when a boy comes over."

Alfred's face hardened at this. "He'll have to meet my fire axe first."

I laughed. It all seemed it would be okay. Everyone needed a pick-me-up every once and awhile. I was just glad that I was still able to be useful to Alfred, even after all this time.

We were unable to take that vacation for a few more months. We decided to hold it off until Grace's first birthday. Before leaving, the fire station threw her a party. Grace enjoyed the new dress Alfred bought her, the cake the men had baked for her, and all of the extra attention. We were blessed to enjoy the party all the way to the end before a minor kitchen fire was called in. Alfred didn't have to follow given that he was off duty, but I could see in his eyes that he wanted to go. It was amazing. Even after he'd worked himself to the bone, he still had that sense of duty and ingrained heroism tugging at his heart.

The next day we had arrived in a tourist town by the sea. The ocean breeze calmed my nerves almost instantly. Alfred had spared no expense for this holiday. However, Grace decided it was high time she become a toddler a year early. She screamed louder, cried longer, and had regressed to her earlier phase of not wanting to be held by me. She was fine with Alfred, however.

We took her to the local toy store in hopes that buying her a toy or two would keep her from getting so temperamental. Only, I had counted on Alfred turning into a child himself the moment we stepped inside. He rushed to and fro, grabbing toys off of shelves like Grace does at the grocery store. I had to keep on his heel to make sure he didn't break anything or thought it was a fine idea to buy a toy that was well past Grace's age.

"Artie!" Alfred yelled halfway across the store. I blushed as people looked appalled by this. "Artie, we should get Grace this! It's so cute!"

I stomped over to the infant section where Alfred was, but stopped short upon seeing him hold up a toy that was obviously too old for Grace. He was like a child himself in the way he jumped up and down excitedly with bright eyes and an eager smile. Normally I would have been amused by this, and even slightly turned on, but as it was, I was embarrassed to be seen with him.

"Alfred…," I started through clenched teeth. My patience was wearing thin. "That is for a four year old… Grace is too young. The boxes say what age the toys are appropriate for. Why don't you look at the toys that say twelve months?"

Alfred pouted. "But all those toys are super boring! Grace needs stimulation!"

"Too much of a challenge and she won't want to play with it anymore. It'll be too difficult for her. Honestly…"

"But Grace neeeeeds it!"

It was around this time that I noticed a distinct difference between Alfred's and my parenting methods. Grace, though barely able to talk, already had Alfred wrapped around her finger. She could look at anything and he would get it for her. There was no denying our daughter, and there was never enough, according to Alfred. But that didn't apply to me, for if I raised an objection to Grace's demands, Alfred would outwardly oppose me. It made for me getting in a word extremely difficult and frustrating.

In the end, we left the store with toys that were age appropriate, and a few for Alfred to abate him since I had won in our argument. The clerks at the toy laughed at how "cute" we seemed to be acting, but it wasn't cute. And I didn't find it amusing in the slightest.

I waited until we had made it back to the hotel to approach this issue to Alfred. After the toy store and the beach, we had finished the day at the aquarium. Grace was dead to the world, much to my relief. I wouldn't say I was jealous of my daughter, but I did slightly resent the fact I couldn't enjoy the trip with Alfred as much as I wanted to. However, I kept most of this hidden. This was as much Alfred's vacation as it was mine.

"Alfred," I started. I shuffled up to the side of the bed where Alfred was sitting to take off his shoes. "May I talk to you?"

"Sure. What's up, babe?" Alfred suddenly pulled me to sit in his lap. He surprised me when he began to massage my shoulders. That bastard.

"Mm, ah." I coughed in a horrible attempt to hide my sudden inability to speak. "Uh… Earlier today… I couldn't help but notice you…were very… um. Ah!"

"Babe, you're so tense!" Alfred pressed a particularly tight spot on my back. I moaned loudly as my head fell back, my eyes closing in bliss. "Op, that's a good knot right there, huh?"

"D-darling," I tried again. "Why do you insist on…going against my word…?"

"Huh? What d'ya mean?"

"With Grace." I glanced over at her. She slept in her pack 'n' play near our bed. There was no way she'd be waking up any time soon. "I say no and you say yes."

"Aw, babe, it's a vacation. You can't say no." Alfred's fingers had slipped to my neck by now. My head fell forward and my eyes slipped close again.

"But-ah! Oh, there. Yes. Mmm…" Alfred chuckled lowly by my ear. "You do this…at home too."

"Well, I'm not home as often, so when I am I want to never do anything that makes her feel upset."

"Alfred, we have to be a team. If we contradict each other, it'll confuse Grace, and later she'll choose between us. You don't want her to have to do that, do you?"

"No."

"Or grow up spoiled."

"No…"

I turned to face Alfred, putting my hands on his as they fell into my lap. "We have to remain firm. Not harsh, just firm. And we have to remain together on a decision. I'll loosen up a bit if you agree to tighten up some as well. Okay?"

Alfred bit his lip in thought. "But…she'll get mad."

"That's the point." I laughed. "All children will get angry. She needs to appreciate what she receives, otherwise she will continue to ask, and then when will it end? When she wants a pony?"

Alfred grimaced at this. I knew he understood my point then. He watched Grace sleeping.

"If we work together, it'll be easier for everyone," I assured him.

"I just want the best for her," he mumbled.

I kissed his cheek softly. "As for I, my love. As long as we're here, she will have that. We love each other and, in turn, we'll give her our love."

Alfred smiled at me. He raised my hands to his lips, kissing each knuckle slowly. He hovered over my left ring finger for a moment. His eyes flashed up to mine.

"I think it's time I spoil my husband," he said in a tone of voice he knew would get me excited.

I gasped at hearing him call me his husband. He pulled me atop him as he lay back. Our lips met in a tender kiss, never parting as he rolled me onto my back to reverse our positions. My fingers gripped his back. I could feel his heart thumping against my chest. I moaned again like I had when he massaged me, and my legs opened to accommodate him.

Yes, this was my holiday too. And I planned to enjoy myself.
They call it the Terrible Twos, and no one excelled more at being terrible than my daughter, Grace. She was a runner and loved to shout, forgetting her "indoor voice". I often had a headache by the time Alfred came home. And he only made it worse by riling her up. But it was fun, for the most part. I enjoyed having Grace grow up, and with her being a little older, I was able to return to the outside world and put in my part of the family by making some money.

However, the true terror of Grace was her inability to fully understand the meaning of "no". I knew Alfred's spoiling her would come back to bite us. I was forceful in my telling her no she could not have candy, no that was not a toy, no she could not jump on the couch, and no she could not draw on the walls. Alfred, thankfully, had started to come around and had to tell her no as well, and that always backfired.

One particular evening Grace was screaming for candy. It was only an hour before bedtime, and Alfred was not happy to come home to hear an upset Grace.

"Grace! No! Papa said no!"

She stomped her feet as she reached out for the candy that was sitting on the counter, high out of her reach. I was leaning against the counter with my arms crossed. My patience and tolerance for this to continue had long since snapped. Alfred, sadly, had just walked in on this mess.

"I want! I want!"

"Well too bad, you're not going to get it!" Alfred snapped. "Now stop it!"

I put a hand out to Alfred. "It won't work, Alfred. She's in too foul of a mood. We have to try something else."

Alfred sighed angrily. He turned to discuss with me just what exactly we should do, when Grace ran right up to my shin and kicked me. I yelped out in surprise, not pain, as I jumped away from her. She had never shown violence before and I was quite alarmed by this. And then, I did something I should not have done.

I grabbed Grace roughly by her arm and dragged her to the kitchen table. I sat on the chair and pulled her over my lap. Alfred watched from where he stood as I spanked Grace four times on her bottom. She screamed and wailed and cried out, "No! No! Stop!"

"There!" I announced. I plopped her back on her feet. She was rubbing her sore bottom more for affect than for pain. I hadn't done it too hard. Her pride was wounded more than anything else. "Go to your room right now, young lady. Go!"

Grace ran to her room, wailing all the while. I just stayed seated as I rubbed at my temples. Alfred shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he nibbled on his lower lip in anxiety.

"Did you really have to spank her?" he asked.

I sighed. "I didn't want to, but I was done with her attitude. And she kicked me!"

"You shouldn't ever use violence against violence."

"Yes, well I will go in there later and apologize. For right now I need a break."

But I wasn't allowed that. Not even fifteen minutes later there was a knock at our door. I was worried it was the neighbors to complain about Grace. It was an embarrassing affair when I had to explain that Grace wasn't hurt, but that she was just two.

Alfred answered the door. I was sitting in the living room at my laptop, but I could hear Alfred's gasp from there. "H-hello officer."

I bolted up out of my chair to join Alfred by his side. This was not good news.

A fully dressed police officer stood in our doorway. He didn't look pleased to be there at all. Just to his left was a petite woman with brunette hair and sharp glasses. Her brown eyes pierced me as they looked at me. I stood just slightly behind Alfred.

"What can we do for you?" Alfred asked, clearly ruffled by this sudden appearance.

"We received word of possible child abuse," the officer said in a hard voice.

"What?!" My eyes bulged at the accusation. "Surely there is a mistake!"

"We have to check things out, sir. May we enter the premises?" The officer gestured to himself and the woman. "This is Mary of Child Services. She will need to see the child in question."

My worst fear was forming right in front of me, stepping in through the door, and going to ask Grace questions. I was helpless to do much of anything. My limbs had glued themselves to my side and my throat had gone dry from adrenaline. Alfred was equally in shock, but he was a little bit more in control of himself due to years of firefighting.

Mary led Grace out from her bedroom. She was still sniffling, but otherwise seemed all right. The two sat on the couch, in full view of Alfred and me, as well the police officer who still hadn't stopped staring at the two of us so suspiciously. It was a disgusting feeling to be judged so.

"Grace, hello. My name is Mary." Grace didn't reply. She looked at Mary with wide, curious eyes. "Can you tell me what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I want candy. Papa and daddy say no," Grace said pitifully.

"Did they hit you?" Mary asked.

Grace nodded. She rubbed at her butt for emphasis. I almost fainted when Mary looked at me. "Papa hit me. It hurted."

Mary nodded slowly. "I see. Have they ever hit you before?"

Grace shook her head wildly. Her braids slapped at her cheeks. "No. Papa never hit. Daddy never hit."

"Have they ever touched you in a bad place?" Mary asked.

"WHAT?!" Alfred stepped forward. The officer took a step as well, and I pulled Alfred away. I could feel bile rising in my throat and my knees were beginning to give out. I clutched to Alfred's arm for dear life. If he left, I might have died right in our flat.

"No," Grace said. I could tell she was confused by what Mary meant.

"May I see your arms?" Grace held them out. I watched as Mary inspected her arms for any bruises or cuts or burns. She then moved to her neck and legs. When Mary asked her to lift her shirt to check her torso, I had to turn away. It was too much.

"She seems okay," Mary said after a long while. The officer relaxed. She looked at me. "Officer, may I have a moment?"

"I'll be outside," he said. He gave us one last glance, and then left, closing the door behind him.

Mary got up from the couch and approached us. "I'm very sorry to have troubled you and your partner, Mr. Kirkland, Mr. Jones. I know how difficult this must be, but please understand this is my job. We have to respond to every accusation. There have been reports from your landlord of noise complaints from various neighbors. And tonight, they had heard what sounded like abuse."

"So you're saying you'd do this for even heterosexual families?" Alfred asked angrily. He was reigning in his anger. It was boiling over on his neck, bulging the veins and flexing his muscles on his arms.

Mary nodded. She looked over at Grace. "I know two year olds can be a hassle, but we at Child Services do not condone spanking of any kind. Is that understood?"

I broke then. I began to cry into my hands, hiding my face from that woman who tried to be kind, but was really so cruel to come into our house. "I'm sorry! I can't believe! I didn't mean to! I was so tired! Please! Please, don't take her away!"

Alfred pulled me to his chest, encircling his arms around me so I could feel safe. But I didn't. Not as long as that woman was here and that officer was out there. Not as long as Grace continued to watch and rub at her sore bottom that I had smacked.

"We don't have the ability to do that based on this screening," Mary explained. "There is no problem here. I'll leave. I'm sorry for all of the trouble. Good night."

I continued to cry, much like a broken man, even after Mary and the police had gone. Alfred tried to soothe me, but it wasn't enough. He couldn't take back the fact that it had happened. That we had almost ruined everything because of my slip up.

I eventually went to bed, but still cried into my pillow. Alfred checked up on me, and sat by my side. He rubbed my back and tried to console me. He kissed my face and held me, asking me what would help, but I didn't know. I had no idea how anyone could erase all of that.

After a few moments, Alfred left. I curled into a ball, clutching my knees to my chest and heaving into the pillow. It was soaked from my tears. I began shaking, and I almost hyperventilated, but then I heard a tiny voice from behind me.

"Papa?"

I turned sharply and saw Grace at the foot of the bed. She was watching me just as she had Mary. She was scared. In the midst of all of this, I had forgotten about Grace's feelings. She had almost been taken from us, and while she didn't know everything that was happening, she did understood that a strange woman had asked her even stranger questions, and now her parents were both crying.

I scooped Grace up into my arms, cradling her to my chest as I had when she was an infant. She didn't kick or scream or push away. She curled into a ball, sucking on her thumb, and stayed still in my arms. Alfred then lied across from me and put his arms around the two of us. He was crying, his glasses off and sitting on the nightstand behind him.

Then, he started to hum. When Grace was younger and couldn't sleep, I often hummed to her. It was always the same song, and Alfred would laugh at me every single time. But it was a reflex. If I couldn't be at home in England and teach Grace the other part of her adopted heritage, then I would bring it to her.

I didn't have to ask anything as Alfred hummed. He rubbed my back and rocked us slowly. I smiled into his shirt, singing the last bit aloud. "…God Save the Queen…"
Hoshiko2's cents: Whew! What a scary ride for this family, eh? But this is just the start of it! Next up will be Grace's 3-6 years, which means the start of school, and a "nice" little surprise in there. I hope you enjoy it!

Please stop by my writing tumblr, 2kokoro, if you wish to ask me or a character a question. Thank you!