[танк]

[kol_shevik]

[Okay Mayfield, you may suck and smell of Capitalism but at least you deliver SWEET ASS TANKS right on time because there is now one (1) TANK in the possession of one (1) Russia.

And this calls for one thing. Get smashed. Drive.

A) He is driving it (drunkenly) down the street. And by that I mean over your lawn.

B) He has spotted you on the sidewalk

Comments

[lotuslife]

[C, because she lives there. Vietnam is leaning out of the window of the love nest master bedroom, and just. FUCKING STARING.]

Comrade? Is that really-?

[OH SWEET, SWEET FAMILIAR SOVIET TANK. She remembers driving one of these, and probably still has a few parked at home somewhere. She wants it. Badly.]

--allow me to leave before you fire. [And she proceeds to jump out of the window. Yeah, from the second floor. She lands very neatly.]

[kol_shevik]

[TURNS ON YOU, SMILING. Always. Smiling.]

...Comrade does not happen to have any ammunition on her~?

[lotuslife]

[Pulls a fuckass gigantic rifle off of her back.]

Most of my things are at your house, but I have this.

[kol_shevik]

Ah-- rifle is nice, but need it for this.

Want to make sure there is nothing left of house of America.

[wolf_faerie]

[Aisling has never seen a tank before in her life, and thus has no idea what to think when it comes rumbling down the road. Though it looks similar to a car, it also seems to be a different beast entirely. As it comes closer, she gets into a defensive stance in case this...thing turns out not to be just a weird machine and attacks her.]

[kol_shevik]

[Well aren't you cute and also in the way. And also small. Russia swerves a bit - which in a tank is more of a lumbering turn excruciatingly slowly - and brings it to a stop.

Give him a minute to shake loose of the empty vodka bottles to reach the hatch while he bangs around inside.]

[wolf_faerie]

[Maybe the banging noises are this monster's poor unfortunate victims begging it to let them out!

At this point, Aisling has to prepare for whatever this thing might do. She crouches on the ground, ready to jump at its "face" and start unleashing righteous fairy fury on it.]

[kol_shevik]

[Russia pops out of the hatch, still holding a half empty vodka bottle in one hand.]

Standing in road! Get out of way, comrade! You do not wish to block path of victory do you?

Scenario B, plz

[saviorofkorugar]

[Points at Russia from the sidewalk.]

"I am only going to say this once. Get out of the tank."

[kol_shevik]

[Points back! Oh how hilarious.]

нет! Never!

[saviorofkorugar]

"Don't say you weren't warned."

[AND LOOK WHO'S RUNNING TOWARD THE TANK AND JUMPING UP THE SIDE RIGHT TOWARD RUSSIA'S FAT HEAD LIKE A BOSS]

[kol_shevik]

[OH SHI--

TOSSING AN EMPTY VODKA BOTTLE RIGHT FOR YOUR FACE]

[ohmytenth]

[THERE'S A FUCKING TANK ON HIS LAWN.

WHAT THE FUCK.]

What the hell are you doing?!

[kol_shevik]

[FUCKING TANKS HOW DO THEY WORK?

Russia pops out of the hatch and vaguely waves for crazy kid to get out of the way.]

You are in the road. Should move!

[ohmytenth]

This is my lawn! The road is that way, you asshole!

[kol_shevik]

[Russia peers down at the lawn.

Oh huh.]

Oh.

Sorry.

[ringaroundrose]

[OH MY GOD IT'S EGGMAN I CAN TELL BY THE FAT. AND THE MACHINE. flailing on her lawn.]

Eek!

[kol_shevik]

[IS CURRENTLY RUNNING DOWN YOUR MAILBOX. The white picket fence is also meeting its maker.]

[ringaroundrose]

HEY! Stop that, right now!

[Running over, whipping out her hammer. It may look like a toy, but it is now putting dents in your pretty tank.]

[kol_shevik]

[KOLKOLKOLING COMES FROM THE HATCH OH GOD]

Do not touch her!