Christmas
It's been awhile... beware the following. It might seem depressing to some. But to me, it is what it is.
John and I went to his parent's home for Christmas this year. While we were there, his mom asked me if I was "homesick", then clarified, to ask if I missed having Christmas with my family. I told her that "no, it was fine." Because it was/is. She said that if it was her, she would be, as she likes being at home with her family and she would miss it.
But the thing is, for me, it hasn't really been a "family Christmas" since I was 15. The last Christmas that my mom was alive. My mom WAS Christmas. Christmas was her favorite holiday of the entire year. Christmas was food, and fun, and family. It was a tree covered in fun ornaments (a new one every year for everyone in the family!), and cookies covering the dining room table waiting to be decorated. It meant Christmas breakfast of muffins (apple, blueberry, and cinnamon), eggs, bacon, and "little smokeys" (Matt loved them.. I hate them). It was Christmas shows and Christmas music. It was homemade ice cream and pumpkin pie. It was setting the dining chairs around the tree with our socks tied to them in anticipation of "Santa" (we didn't have a fireplace), then getting up crazy early in the morning to open gifts and going through our socks and playing with the gifts from "Santa" (sometimes my aunt had to work Christmas, and on those days we were only allowed to play with Santa's gifts until my aunt got home from work, then we could open the gifts, which was usually done immediately upon her coming through the door). We had a Christmas party every year with Patty and her two kids, and the 3 D's (Dee, Donna, and Diane) and Grandma Millie.
Sometimes Christmas was at Grandma's, or at Linda and Perry's (my aunt and uncle). Those Christmases meant almost everything from above, except that Santa came to Grandma's house and left gifts around/on her dining room chairs, and we had to save 1 present to be opened at Linda and Perry's along with the gifts that we were exchanging with them. But everything at our house was the same.
But then my mom died, and I moved in with Nancy, and from then on it wasn't the same. And that's okay, because it's how Nancy and her family have their Christmas. And I wasn't a kid anymore. There wasn't Santa and socks. We had a tree and gifts. Initially, Christmas with Nancy meant getting together with her brother and sister in law and their two kids on Christmas eve and again for lunch on Christmas. Times with the sis-in-law were always stressful and I generally enjoyed Christmas morning with just Nancy more because it wasn't. Since her brother died, and the sis-in-law moved back to Mexico, Christmas has been a much more enjoyable event. Christmas with Nancy's family is more of a "family Christmas" on Christmas Eve. That's when we get together and have a "dinner" of sandwiches, chips and dip, cheese and crackers, and cookies.We listen to Christmas music, open gifts, talk, etc. After it got dark, we would usually go to see the lights at "Jolly Holiday Lights". Christmas day we'll open more gifts if there are any, and then we all go out to lunch. Christmas with Nancy also meant getting together with Nancy's girlfriends, Chris (and her daughter), Carol, Shirley, and Gwen. Those were always a riot. After I went to college, I wasn't home for those unless they had them late in the month after I got home from finals, and since I moved to Chicago, I haven't been to them at all.
Also since I moved in with Nancy, Christmas meant going back to Carol's house for a couple of hours to exchange gifts with her and Matt, and sometimes eating dinner with them. This was really stressful (almost worse than the few hours with Nancy's sister-in-law) for a few years until I "finally moved out on my own" (aka, moved into the off campus apartment in college). It's still not great, but it's better because Carol is no longer harassing me about "moving back home". Now it's just a matter of escaping without stinking too much of cigarettes (thanks to Matt) or hearing too many sob stories about the latest fiasco from Carol/Matt. The good parts of holidays with Carol and Matt are the times when we go up to Cathy's (my cousin, the oldest daughter of Linda and Perry) and seeing the rest of my family. That just means an awkward 7 hours in the car with Carol and Matt, but it's worth it.
Holidays with Nancy also mean being crazy busy. Since I went away to college, and eventually moved out here, when I'm home it's the only time I see some of my friends that still live there. Only a small handful have actually made the trek out to Chicago to visit me. I love seeing everyone when I'm home, but it does a number on my sleep schedule.
Since I went to college, and moved out on my own, I've tried to make my own Christmas as close to the Christmas I had as a kid as I can. The tree goes up as close to Thanksgiving as I can get it. I decorate the house with window clings, lights, garland and ornaments. I make all the Christmas cookies. I shop super early, generally having all my shopping done by Thanksgiving, so that I can get the gifts wrapped and under the tree as fast as possible. I play Christmas music as much as possible, and sing along if I can. I hang socks, for me and the cats, and now John too. I put out my mom's Nativity - there is a place on the entertainment center that is just the right size. I watch as many Christmas shows as I can - and if I don't catch them being broadcast on TV, I own most of them on VHS or DVD, and I'll haul all of those out and watch them. Some years I sent out Christmas cards, and some years I don't, it depends on how much time I have with everything else going on.
This year it wasn't quite the same at the house. I put up the garland and lights on the house outside. I set out the Nativity, and I hung up the socks. But I couldn't hang the bells on the front door because of how our door is, and there was no room for the tree due to other stuff being in the way. I didn't put up the window clings and I missed most of the TV specials (they show 90% of them on ABC Family Channel and we don't get that with our current TV package). I did get the cookies done, and we did send out cards. I managed to get all of the gifts wrapped, packed, and mailed so that they arrived before Christmas. Next year though... next year will be my own Christmas again.
So now I've been to a Warmbrodt Family Christmas. Since this is the first one I've been too, I can't say anything about what they used to do or what is normally done. I can only comment on what happened this year. John's dad took us all (John, Jeannie, Jeannie's bf Mike, me, John's mom, and himself) to go see the Bach Symphony Orchestra's Christmas concert on Monday night. We went to John's aunt's house for Christmas Eve for dinner. We had some traditional Greek food (cheese pita, lemon chicken and rice soup, pastitsio, and Greek bread). We started to watch a movie (Four Christmases), then discovered it wasn't terribly family friendly and turned it back to the Star Wars movie that the kids (John's younger cousin's) had been watching when we got there. When we got back to his parent's place, Jeannie wanted to open presents. It was cute, she was just like a kid, wanting to open them NOW!! :-) We opened some of them, then left the rest for Christmas. Christmas was at John's family's house. We had more of a "traditional" Christmas meal of ham, potatoes, corn, green beans, sweet potatoes, rolls, salad and tons of sweets (cookies, candy, etc). After lunch, the kids wanted to open gifts, so they were handed out and opened. Then we sat around and talked for a bit until we left to go visit his grandmother and aunt at the nursing home. We ate baklava with them, then came back home, driving by a few houses that John's mom said had really nice lights. Later on that evening, John, Jeannie, and I went to go see a movie, Sherlock Homes. It was a good time and I enjoyed being there.
John and I went to his parent's home for Christmas this year. While we were there, his mom asked me if I was "homesick", then clarified, to ask if I missed having Christmas with my family. I told her that "no, it was fine." Because it was/is. She said that if it was her, she would be, as she likes being at home with her family and she would miss it.
But the thing is, for me, it hasn't really been a "family Christmas" since I was 15. The last Christmas that my mom was alive. My mom WAS Christmas. Christmas was her favorite holiday of the entire year. Christmas was food, and fun, and family. It was a tree covered in fun ornaments (a new one every year for everyone in the family!), and cookies covering the dining room table waiting to be decorated. It meant Christmas breakfast of muffins (apple, blueberry, and cinnamon), eggs, bacon, and "little smokeys" (Matt loved them.. I hate them). It was Christmas shows and Christmas music. It was homemade ice cream and pumpkin pie. It was setting the dining chairs around the tree with our socks tied to them in anticipation of "Santa" (we didn't have a fireplace), then getting up crazy early in the morning to open gifts and going through our socks and playing with the gifts from "Santa" (sometimes my aunt had to work Christmas, and on those days we were only allowed to play with Santa's gifts until my aunt got home from work, then we could open the gifts, which was usually done immediately upon her coming through the door). We had a Christmas party every year with Patty and her two kids, and the 3 D's (Dee, Donna, and Diane) and Grandma Millie.
Sometimes Christmas was at Grandma's, or at Linda and Perry's (my aunt and uncle). Those Christmases meant almost everything from above, except that Santa came to Grandma's house and left gifts around/on her dining room chairs, and we had to save 1 present to be opened at Linda and Perry's along with the gifts that we were exchanging with them. But everything at our house was the same.
But then my mom died, and I moved in with Nancy, and from then on it wasn't the same. And that's okay, because it's how Nancy and her family have their Christmas. And I wasn't a kid anymore. There wasn't Santa and socks. We had a tree and gifts. Initially, Christmas with Nancy meant getting together with her brother and sister in law and their two kids on Christmas eve and again for lunch on Christmas. Times with the sis-in-law were always stressful and I generally enjoyed Christmas morning with just Nancy more because it wasn't. Since her brother died, and the sis-in-law moved back to Mexico, Christmas has been a much more enjoyable event. Christmas with Nancy's family is more of a "family Christmas" on Christmas Eve. That's when we get together and have a "dinner" of sandwiches, chips and dip, cheese and crackers, and cookies.We listen to Christmas music, open gifts, talk, etc. After it got dark, we would usually go to see the lights at "Jolly Holiday Lights". Christmas day we'll open more gifts if there are any, and then we all go out to lunch. Christmas with Nancy also meant getting together with Nancy's girlfriends, Chris (and her daughter), Carol, Shirley, and Gwen. Those were always a riot. After I went to college, I wasn't home for those unless they had them late in the month after I got home from finals, and since I moved to Chicago, I haven't been to them at all.
Also since I moved in with Nancy, Christmas meant going back to Carol's house for a couple of hours to exchange gifts with her and Matt, and sometimes eating dinner with them. This was really stressful (almost worse than the few hours with Nancy's sister-in-law) for a few years until I "finally moved out on my own" (aka, moved into the off campus apartment in college). It's still not great, but it's better because Carol is no longer harassing me about "moving back home". Now it's just a matter of escaping without stinking too much of cigarettes (thanks to Matt) or hearing too many sob stories about the latest fiasco from Carol/Matt. The good parts of holidays with Carol and Matt are the times when we go up to Cathy's (my cousin, the oldest daughter of Linda and Perry) and seeing the rest of my family. That just means an awkward 7 hours in the car with Carol and Matt, but it's worth it.
Holidays with Nancy also mean being crazy busy. Since I went away to college, and eventually moved out here, when I'm home it's the only time I see some of my friends that still live there. Only a small handful have actually made the trek out to Chicago to visit me. I love seeing everyone when I'm home, but it does a number on my sleep schedule.
Since I went to college, and moved out on my own, I've tried to make my own Christmas as close to the Christmas I had as a kid as I can. The tree goes up as close to Thanksgiving as I can get it. I decorate the house with window clings, lights, garland and ornaments. I make all the Christmas cookies. I shop super early, generally having all my shopping done by Thanksgiving, so that I can get the gifts wrapped and under the tree as fast as possible. I play Christmas music as much as possible, and sing along if I can. I hang socks, for me and the cats, and now John too. I put out my mom's Nativity - there is a place on the entertainment center that is just the right size. I watch as many Christmas shows as I can - and if I don't catch them being broadcast on TV, I own most of them on VHS or DVD, and I'll haul all of those out and watch them. Some years I sent out Christmas cards, and some years I don't, it depends on how much time I have with everything else going on.
This year it wasn't quite the same at the house. I put up the garland and lights on the house outside. I set out the Nativity, and I hung up the socks. But I couldn't hang the bells on the front door because of how our door is, and there was no room for the tree due to other stuff being in the way. I didn't put up the window clings and I missed most of the TV specials (they show 90% of them on ABC Family Channel and we don't get that with our current TV package). I did get the cookies done, and we did send out cards. I managed to get all of the gifts wrapped, packed, and mailed so that they arrived before Christmas. Next year though... next year will be my own Christmas again.
So now I've been to a Warmbrodt Family Christmas. Since this is the first one I've been too, I can't say anything about what they used to do or what is normally done. I can only comment on what happened this year. John's dad took us all (John, Jeannie, Jeannie's bf Mike, me, John's mom, and himself) to go see the Bach Symphony Orchestra's Christmas concert on Monday night. We went to John's aunt's house for Christmas Eve for dinner. We had some traditional Greek food (cheese pita, lemon chicken and rice soup, pastitsio, and Greek bread). We started to watch a movie (Four Christmases), then discovered it wasn't terribly family friendly and turned it back to the Star Wars movie that the kids (John's younger cousin's) had been watching when we got there. When we got back to his parent's place, Jeannie wanted to open presents. It was cute, she was just like a kid, wanting to open them NOW!! :-) We opened some of them, then left the rest for Christmas. Christmas was at John's family's house. We had more of a "traditional" Christmas meal of ham, potatoes, corn, green beans, sweet potatoes, rolls, salad and tons of sweets (cookies, candy, etc). After lunch, the kids wanted to open gifts, so they were handed out and opened. Then we sat around and talked for a bit until we left to go visit his grandmother and aunt at the nursing home. We ate baklava with them, then came back home, driving by a few houses that John's mom said had really nice lights. Later on that evening, John, Jeannie, and I went to go see a movie, Sherlock Homes. It was a good time and I enjoyed being there.