(Untitled)

Sep 23, 2011 18:28

I'm stupid. I'm so stupid. Why do I even exist?

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ski_to_live September 24 2011, 17:15:12 UTC
What's wrong, hun?

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kolizeon September 26 2011, 02:41:00 UTC
I'm throwing away a lot of good things in the name of self destruction. I don't want to be this person.

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ski_to_live September 26 2011, 18:07:47 UTC
Do you know why you're doing this? There is something to be said for being aware of it though - and also not wanting to do it. Keep strong, hun. I know you are - I can tell there's been some horrible stuff in your past, and that you are a very strong person to have made it through this far. Don't beat yourself up over this. Chin up <3

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kolizeon September 30 2011, 12:23:04 UTC
No I meant that I'm throwing things away because they would be good for me, they would be good for "this person". I hate this person/I hate me, so I intentionally destroy my opportunities and efforts to excel in an attempt to eventually kill myself.

The best way to explain it would be... well there isn't a good way... but it's like two siblings sharing a room, hating each other, breaking each other's things and disrupting homework and whatnot to try and make the other miserable. Except the room is my head and the siblings are myself and I.

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