[backlog] [The Chuunin Exams] [Ino and Kankurou] [Closed]
The backlog you've ALL been waiting for. Set about seven or eight years ago.
This chuunin exam business was hard when there wasn't a genius on their team to lead them. They didn't even have the home team advantage this time as the exams were being held in Suna. Chouji was understandably worried when he found out the second test was going to be some sort of weird desert survival thing because 1) they didn't know the desert at all 2) there were scary desert animals and ninjas lurking about and 3) it was freaken boiling during the day and freezing at night. Water was scarce-they wouldn't even know where to find any once they ran out and they would after a few days.
It was time for Ino to step up to the plate, so to speak. Shikamaru wasn't here to figure out a plan and Chouji was currently nervous-eating himself into a coma, so it was up to her to do something. The chuunin exams were not about playing by the rules. There were loopholes and shadows behind the curtain-as long as you didn't get caught doing something wrong, you didn't get disqualified.
Use your best assets, is what Shikamaru had said while checking her weapons. What was Ino good at? The power of persuasion. She could get a person from Yuki to buy a freezer with just a smile and a hair toss. All she had to do was talk her way into getting some information, a map, something to help them along the way. Her team was counting on her!
Best assets, Ino thought as the heels of her sandals clicked down the hallway of the Kazekage tower, this was probably not what Shikamaru had in mind.
Kankurou wasn't sure how he'd gotten roped into this exam racket in the first place. He'd asked for a new assignment from Gaara---yes, he was a new jounin, but no, he didn't need to be constantly grouped with the oldest of the veterans and only sent out when there was no one else available---but he hadn't dreamt of ever being pushed into being an examiner.
It made sense, though, he thought grumpily as he leaned against the wall outside of the Kazekage's office, fresh from a fight with Baki over his assignment. His eyes were keen and he could smell a shitty genin from a mile and a half away; it was the first time Suna had hosted the chuunin exams in over twenty years, and it was silently agreed between the examiners that they'd make it as hard as they possibly could for the genin to prove themselves. Suna was harsh; nobody was meant to leave the exams with any impression other than those fuckin' Sand ninja are pretty fuckin' hardcore.
Baki had explained that this was why Kankurou was an examiner. His calloused little heart was hard enough not to feel remorse for kicking the shit out of any ninja stupid enough not to cheat with finesse, and he cut an imposing enough figure for a fifteen-year-old.
Kankurou was only making a fuss because growling at kids was boring.
Opportunity just came knocking with the force of a hurricane. If Temari was helping with this exam instead of going on a mission, Ino could have easily gotten some information but this-this was even better. She didn't really know Temari's brother all that well aside from the obvious: he was kind of an asshole, loud, obnoxious, used puppets, and that paint-whoa. It definitely made him stand out. It was so easy to pretend to stumble and bump into him coming around the hall way and even easier to pull that "I am so innocent and angelic" look that she had perfected over the past few years.
"Oh! Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I should really watch where I'm going."
Acting was an asset, wasn't it? And Ino was good at it. A girl couldn't be a good kunoichi without being a good actress. Not too over the top but not too demure either. Natural. Charming. Insanely adorable. That was what was important. She would get her information one way or the other.
Chouji had better appreciate this.
She was small, and she was blonde. He thought at first that it was his sister, but that was just an initial impulse because this girl was thinner than Temari, paler, and more fragile-looking. It took a moment of brain-cudgeling before he recognized her, his painted brow crinkling in thought, but it snapped into place just as soon as she looked up at him: Yamanaka Ino, one of those Konoha kunoichi in for the exams. Her eyes were unsettling, large and blue and terminally unfocused without the pinpricks of pupil.
Her tits were coming in nicely, though, Kankurou noted as she brushed against him before straightening. Reeeeal nicely indeed.
"You sure you're here for th' exams?" he teased, an interesting lightness to his tone. That lightheartedness would die sometime during his late teens, but for now he was fifteen and just at the cusp of experience. "I mean, stumblin' 'round like that en't a good sign."
"Don't say it like that," she whined lightly, putting her hands on her hips. "I'll have you know I'm injured. Since there's another day before the second exam, Asuma-sensei got permission from some of the jounin guards outside to let me come in here to get some ice for my ankle." A complete and utter lie. The guards had let her come inside but only because she had made friends with them and because they didn't think a little genin girl from Konoha could do much damage with people like Gaara lurking about.
She pretended to look thoughtful for a moment and then beamed at him. "If you're not busy, maybe you could help me for a minute. Just, you know, point me in the direction of a first aid kit." Ino put her hands together pleadingly-guys found that so cute and this guy didn't exactly look like a sharpest tool in the shed. Besides, he was a teenager. Teenage boys only thought of that one thing. "Please, Kankurou-san? I'd be really grateful. I have to be at my best for tomorrow."
Girls like her---cutesy and whiny and needy, unable to do ANYTHING for themselves---rubbed Kankurou's fur all the wrong way. He hated girls like Ino so damn much, he could puke. Sure, breasts were great and he had no qualms with enjoying the female form, but it seemed like nine out of ten genin girls only crawled up in rank because they clutched at the ankles of their male teammates. Because of this, he could allow himself to like girls, but the only female who'd won his respect was Temari.
And that was only because she'd been kicking his ass on a daily basis since they were toddler.
"Get it yourself," he muttered, shrugging. "I en't your babysitter an' you c'n still walk."
Grabbing his black tunic and yanking him down hard enough to choke him so that they were nose to nose, Ino gave him a slightly more nefarious smile. "I don't think Baki-san or your brother would be happy to find out that you ignored an injured ally. Not right now when our villages are getting along so well. It's not very good for diplomatic and village relations, you know."
She let go of him, shrugging nonchalantly at the slight shocked silence that followed. "Okay, that's fine. I'll just go ask one of them for help and tell them that you brushed me off carelessly and I am highly offended. I think Tsunade-sama will want to hear about this as well…"
Kankurou blinked bemusedly as he suddenly found himself face-to-face with the foreign girl, more or less choked and two inches away from the sly curl of her devious smile. He wasn't sure where the shy little cutesy bitch had gone, but someone heated and confident had replaced her as swiftly as if she'd thundered off stage right.
"F-fuck. Fine!" he snapped when she released him, straightening his tunic with a painted frown. "I'll get you your damn ice, an' then you go back ta your Leaf teammates an' leave me th' hell alone. You should be restin' an' gettin' yourself hydrated. You're gonna crisp in th' sun, y'know."
Bingo. He was so easy to manipulate. Were all men like this? At this rate she wasn't going to get anything out of him. Damn. Maybe she should have just abandoned this plan and done something productive. No. She didn't give up easily! "I do feel a little bit dizzy," one hand went over her mouth as though very concerned and slightly sick. "But I'm sure once my ankle feels better I'll be fine."
She let her body sway a bit, legs looking trembly and weak. It was easy to get this way in the desert. The sun was strong and the people of Konoha were used to the shade of trees. Especially with Ino's skin, hair, and eyes she had almost zero protection from the sun. Looking "sick and weak" was the first trick they taught kunoichi in the academy. It looked like her training was finally paying off.
First was playing the weak ankle card, second try was cutesy, third try was ballsy, fourth try was a jab at inciting his pity and manly urge to Protect the Woman. He didn't hold her up, or give her his hand to keep her steady. If she was going to fall, she was going to fall.
Although, he didn't really believe she was going to fall at all. Her hands hadn't been clammy when she'd touched him, and her face lacked either the high color or extreme pallidity of someone about to faint.
"Y'know," he said, keeping his tone even, even though he wanted to laugh just a bit. Her acting was good---it'd blossom into something fearsome, someday; she had real talent---but she shouldn't have retreated from the ballsy approach. That one he'd bought, but she'd backed off from it. "If you're gonna try schmoozin' me up, you gotta keep ta one act an' one act alone. Y'keep bouncin' around, an' as a fellow actor, I sure as all hell en't convinced. If you're gonna switch roles 'cause one angle en't doin' it, you gotta transition."
Her pride as a kunoichi was riding on this. She had a horrible flashback of that time in Konoha when Neji ignored how incredibly sexy she was. But that was okay. She had bounced back from this. "Haha, you're no fun at ALL!" Ino slapped him on the shoulder none too gently. "And I thought you Suna guys had a sense of humor. I'm disappointed. Here we are trying to play nice and improve relations… it's fine, it's fine~" Ino sang, letting his harsh words roll off of her.
"If you're so smart and good at this, how should I try to get you to pay some attention to me?" she asked, only half teasingly. Letting a man think he was superior-that was another thing Suzume-sensei said that they loved.
Oh yes. She had a whole book of facts stuffed in her head. She was getting out of this situation the winner, no matter what the cost.
It was a tough call, trying to gauge if she'd honestly dropped the act or if she'd squirreled herself into a new corner to launch at him from. Either way, this was easily twenty times more interesting than sulking in front of Gaara's door, licking his mental wounds after the verbal smackdown Baki had given him, so he played along. Kankurou started to walk towards the roof, his body language indicating that Ino should follow because their game was far from being over.
"First off, don't ever try that whiny, baby-face shit with me again," Kankurou said with a nod. "Makes me wanna punch you in th' face, not cuddle you. Threatenin's pretty damn hot, though, not gonna lie. If you're comin' onta someone for info, stay neutral 'til you c'n tell 'zactly what they go for. That's th' rule o' thumb."
This proved it. All of Suna was completely off of their rocker. And they said Gaara was the crazy one? Ino thought they should have taken a new poll. But she followed anyway, not ready to give up yet. There was still a tiny glimmer of hope and that was Kankurou's incredibly large ego. "I see," she said, as though really taking his words into consideration.
What a moron.
"And if I'm not here for information but just because?" She had to be careful not to look like that thought of actually talking to him made her want to vomit or throw herself off of the roof. Those two choices seemed like better options at the moment, truth be told.
The glare he shot over his shoulder was appropriately flat. "Blondie. Nobody talks ta me jus' 'cause. Not even my sibs. You want somethin', an' I'm jus' gonna play along an' see if you c'n hedge 'round it well enough ta keep me from eliminatin' you from th' rest of the exams."
There was a truth to his statement, a barb that surely Ino was trying to work around without pricking her pale fingers. The air on the rooftop was oppressively heavy, almost too thick to breathe properly. A khamseen wind had kicked up sometime in the mid-afternoon, and it foretold blisteringly hot weather---and, if they were particularly unlucky---a sandstorm.
That settled a little awkwardly on Kankurou's conscious. Would they really usher the genin out into the desert if every Suna native could feel the impending sandstorm? Were they really going to tip the scales in favor of the Suna nin that much?
Ino sat up on the stone ledge, dangling her legs and looking up at the sky. It was really so clear-Shikamaru was missing out by being back in Konoha. "Not really," she said casually, trying to tame her wind tousled hair. "You don't look like you know much about anything, so I really won't gain anything by talking to you. Just bored and your sister isn't here." This was partly true. Where was Temari when she needed her? "And that’s a little sad that no one wants to talk to you, don't you think? Maybe you need to fix that personality of yours."
He liked her being a confident bitch? He was going to get slapped in the face with confident bitchiness. Even the way she held herself, she knew, was full of pride. Her shoulders and back were straight with her chin tilted slightly and arrogantly. That was all natural-she didn't need to act confident, she was the embodiment of confidence. The only thing that was currently annoying her besides his voice was the wind whipping her skirt around her thighs. As much as she wanted information, she really didn't want Kankurou to know what sort of underwear she wore.
Normally, Kankurou would have launched into an instant argument with her. She was fantastically bold and the cant of her hips invited his attitude. Normally, this would have been an awesome distraction from his stupid assignment to the exams---he was a jounin! Only chuunin presided over the exams unless they were foreign dignitaries!---but the realization that bad weather was rising silenced his humor.
Kankurou wasn't exactly nice, but he wasn't experienced enough to have hardened his heart too much yet. He chewed on his lower lip in thought, ignoring the slickness and acrid taste of his paint.
"...I think---" he began to say haltingly, drawing out the words uncertainly as they bubbled up. "---nah. Nah, I know. I know there's gonna be a sandstorm in th' next two'r three days. You know how ta handle a sandstorm, Leaf-hime?"
"Make sure you have enough food, water, and shelter that will hold up. Oh and hope that sand doesn't get in uncomfortable places," Ino said with a nod of her head. A sandstorm? That was going to shock the hell out of the non Suna-nins considering the other villages didn't have sand. She made a mental note to find a shelter and rations first before anything. They had to be prepared for this storm.
Good thing Kankurou liked to hear himself talking, who knows what other little tidbits he would give away? Ino laughed and crossed her legs, tapping her nails against the ledge. "I guess we'll have to wait and see how I handle it. It's not that bad, though. The forest is way harder to live in."
Baiting him? Just a little.
That rubbed at his pride a little, yeah, but he tried to ignore it and focus instead on her obvious ignorance. The thing about confidence was that it wasn't too difficult to tell when it was false and when it was natural. A lot of Ino's attitude seemed geniuine, and he liked that---it reminded him a lot of his sister, who had every reason to be confident in herself and her abilities. But that quick, generic reply? She had no idea what to do, other than hide. And, honestly, there wouldn't be much chance of that, given the terrain of the desert.
These kids were going to be SOL. This would be one of the toughest pre-battle rounds he'd ever heard of.
"Your forest en't got nothin' on sandstorms," he said, half in awe of the very thought of the desert's most violent kind of temper tantrum. "You can't outrun a storm like this, an' it usually gives way ta lightnin' storms, too. Visibility is cut ta zero under ten seconds when it hits, an' if you en't prepared, respitory distress'll do you in 'fore you c'n even whimper."
She tucked that little tidbit of information away, trying not to look too pleased. He was just giving away this stuff. All she had to do was prey on his ridiculously huge ego and she would have him in the palm of her hand. "But the forest has things like bears and other wild animals," Ino made sure, just for good measure, her skirt rose just slightly over her thigh as she got comfortable and made sure not to fall backwards off of the building. "And the poisonous bugs and snakes! Not to mention the things that live in the water…"
Suzume-sensei was right to say she was Konoha's secret weapon. Even at this young of an age she knew how to get exactly the information she wanted. Maybe it was a rocky start and she would probably have to make out with him a little, but this was going exactly the way she wanted it to.
Maybe he pitied her, just a little. She was small, and it was obvious that athleticism wasn't her strongest point---quick, maybe, and flexible, but she was definitely a flower when it came to endurance.
So he kept talking. He didn't even care at this point what he gave away, because Suna would have an unfair advantage, anyway.
And besides, she was kinda pretty, aside from those freaky eyes. He raised an eyebrow at the glowing inch of pale skin bared as she hiked her skirt up a little, amazed that anything natural could be that white.
"'Member th' last chuunin exams? Th' one where me an' my sibs beat th' record for time spent in th' Forest of Death? Yeah. That's how hardcore your dumbass trees an' snakes are." Kankurou took a deep breath, wondering if he could get penalized for just giving away information. Oh well. What would Gaara do, smack him? His brother was too irritated by the lack of Uzumaki Naruto in the group from Konoha to do much of anything. "If you get caught in th' sandstorm...wet a cloth an' put it over your nose an' mouth. If you've got any kinda lubricant---petroleum jelly'r whatever---lube up th' inside of your nose ta prevent burns. There en't gonna be a magical shack ta hide in, so find a rock'r outcroppin' ta protect at least one side. Don't. Keep. Movin'. Buckle down 'til it passes."
"Very sage advice. I'll be sure to keep that in mind." She couldn't do much better if she had asked him to draw her a map. He wasn't even asking for anything perverted in return. Ino was seriously winning at life here. This was more information that she counted on getting in the first place. But like her father always said, nothing in life was free. She still had to be cautious, ally or not. Kankurou was proving not to be such an awful guy. He was pretty helpful when it came down to it.
Ino leaned her elbows on her legs, relaxing her posture a bit. Now that he kept talking, she zoned in and out of the conversation a bit, listening when things sounded important, not listening when he said things that didn't really concern her. She wondered what he would look like paintless-probably much better than he did with it on. It was probably rude to be staring at him like that but she couldn't help it. When someone hid something it made the mind wonder.
"---an' 'member, when th' winds'r whippin' 'round like that, you get sandblasted. I mean that for real. Cover up EVERYTHIN', or you're gonna get friction burns an'..." Kankurou paused, sizing up her slightly vacant expression. She was staring at him, or through him, looking like that girl from Taki who'd told him she'd marry him if she could get out of her contract as a kunoichi.
She looked like a stupid girl, and he disliked it instantly. The only reason he'd talked with her at ALL was the fact that she'd shown enough backbone to interest him. And now what---nothing? That vacuous expression that meant she had locked down entirely? Kankurou growled low in his throat.
"LOOK. I'm tellin' you shit that'll save your fuckin' life---if you don't wanna hear it, don't fuckin' waste my time."
"Stop being so oversensitive!" she snapped back. Half of it was how incredibly exhausted she was from this whole expedition. Ino didn't do well when the sun was beating down on her for so long. Her body was annoyed at the extreme temperate changes and all the usage of chakra. "I'm listening, I'm listening! I've heard every single word you said. I appreciate the advice, trust me." She really hoped that she would be able to catch herself should she fall backwards off of the roof.
What a way to go.
"Anyway, like I said, I owe you one. Those were some good tips. That's still not reason to be a cocky asshole about it, but good tips nonetheless." Aaaand the bitch was back.
Oversensitive? He was not oversensitive! How dare she say he was oversensitive! His chewed on his irritation, brow furrowed stormily, and tried to cap it. It was the heat. Khamseen weather drove everyone mad with its stifling, sweltering heat and the horrible wait for the storm itself.
"Damn straight you owe me one," he grouched, sounding like nothing more than a seriously peeved five-year-old. "An' I do intend ta collect."
This conversation was like being back in the academy. In kindergarten. Was being a chuunin worth all of this? "Well, I don't have the currency for Wind country so I'll just give you an IOU or something." A bead of sweat made its way down her collar bone and neck, disappearing into her shirt. Augh. The sun was so uncomfortable. She could feel her cheeks turning red even though she had practically rolled in sun block. How did people live in these sorts of conditions?
Her hair was sticking to the back of her neck uncomfortably, to boot. Water was scarce in the desert, so it wasn't like she could just jump in the shower. The best she would get was a bucket of water and a thumbs up, telling her not to use it all on one place.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
"An'...if you're out there for more'n a day, you'll run outta water," Kankurou finished, crossing his arms over his chest with a glower. She was obviously uncomfortable, and they'd only been outside for ten, maybe fifteen, minutes. Two or three days out in the desert might do a girl like her in entirely. "Set up a fog net at night; you won't get much from it, but it'll be enough. An' s'far as IOUs go, I take payment in cash, adoration, an' makeouts. Take your pick."
Kankurou decided he'd have to talk with Gaara about this. It just didn't set right with him. No, Suna didn't have the same crazy-ass monsters that Konoha's forests boasted, but a blood-sucking, razor-toothed flying leech could be avoided. The sun could not.
I think… I just vomited a little. "Like I said! Next time you're in Konoha, food is totally on me," she said cheerfully, sliding off of the ledge to stand up. Ino brushed off her skirt and held her hands behind her back, laced together. "And you know Konoha has a great variety of food. It's a great offer."
It was a stupid question---he knew that before he even said it, knew it just as the word kiss popped into his head and wouldn't flag---but what was the worst she could do? Say no?
...the worst she could do was stick a kunai in his gut and blame sexual harrassment. There was always that.
"I'm gonna hold you ta that," Kankurou agreed, popping his knuckles with practiced ease. "I'll bet y'know all th' good places ta eat, considerin' that fatass you tote 'round. A date it is, then."
Ino would have sighed a huge breath of relief if not for the fact it would have been completely insulting. Wow. Today really was her lucky day. "Don't call him that!" she said fiercely, glaring daggers at him. Only she was allowed to be mean to her teammates, it was an unwritten rule of team 10.
Ugh. The word date had just made her skin crawl.
He blinked stupidly. "...but he is fat. Seriously, he's huge. I'm jus' pointin' out th' truth. ---'Neways, you'd better skip off ta see him 'fore you get heatstroke out here. Th' next round starts at sunset, an' you oughta be rested an' hydrated 'fore you go inta th' desert."
He was such a complete jerk, Ino had absolutely zero words. After this, as helpful as he had been, she did not want anything to do with him. This date thing? Not going to happen. Not in this lifetime. Grabbing him again by the shirt, Ino pulled him down and braced herself before planting a short kiss. It would take all of her powers as a kunoichi to do this and not throw up.
Take one for the team, Yamanaka, take one for the team.
"Debt paid. Now I have to go chew on glass. Later."
Stunned from the kiss, Kankurou stood there under the beating gaze of the impartial desert sun, watching the Konoha girl saunter away. Had he been any less dazzled by her boldness---it'd been his first kiss, no matter how quick or gross in her eyes---he would have whistled in her wake or yelled some garbled comment on the spherical quality of her ass.
What a fuckin' weird girl.
He'd have to keep his eye on this Leaf girl---and hope Temari never found out to tease him about it.
---
Chouji wiped his sweaty face against his forearm, round cheeks flushed and shoulder-length hair sticking unpleasantly to his neck. If there was any place in the world that hated big people on principle, it was the desert. Between his armor and his own insulation, he was feeling mightily cooked. Still, though, they'd survived the second test with flying colors---even as a freak sandstorm descended, Ino had leapt into action and quite literally saved their lives. He gave her a sideways look, handing her a damp washcloth to cool her face with.
"Hey, Ino...so how'd you know all that stuff about the desert? I mean, it's a REALLY good thing that you knew it, but...did Asuma-sensei talk to you about it? I wish he'd told me. It was pretty scary when the sun just...blotted out like that."
"Woman's intuition," Ino panted, looking anywhere else but at Chouji. "Now let's get the hell out of here."
This chuunin exam business was hard when there wasn't a genius on their team to lead them. They didn't even have the home team advantage this time as the exams were being held in Suna. Chouji was understandably worried when he found out the second test was going to be some sort of weird desert survival thing because 1) they didn't know the desert at all 2) there were scary desert animals and ninjas lurking about and 3) it was freaken boiling during the day and freezing at night. Water was scarce-they wouldn't even know where to find any once they ran out and they would after a few days.
It was time for Ino to step up to the plate, so to speak. Shikamaru wasn't here to figure out a plan and Chouji was currently nervous-eating himself into a coma, so it was up to her to do something. The chuunin exams were not about playing by the rules. There were loopholes and shadows behind the curtain-as long as you didn't get caught doing something wrong, you didn't get disqualified.
Use your best assets, is what Shikamaru had said while checking her weapons. What was Ino good at? The power of persuasion. She could get a person from Yuki to buy a freezer with just a smile and a hair toss. All she had to do was talk her way into getting some information, a map, something to help them along the way. Her team was counting on her!
Best assets, Ino thought as the heels of her sandals clicked down the hallway of the Kazekage tower, this was probably not what Shikamaru had in mind.
Kankurou wasn't sure how he'd gotten roped into this exam racket in the first place. He'd asked for a new assignment from Gaara---yes, he was a new jounin, but no, he didn't need to be constantly grouped with the oldest of the veterans and only sent out when there was no one else available---but he hadn't dreamt of ever being pushed into being an examiner.
It made sense, though, he thought grumpily as he leaned against the wall outside of the Kazekage's office, fresh from a fight with Baki over his assignment. His eyes were keen and he could smell a shitty genin from a mile and a half away; it was the first time Suna had hosted the chuunin exams in over twenty years, and it was silently agreed between the examiners that they'd make it as hard as they possibly could for the genin to prove themselves. Suna was harsh; nobody was meant to leave the exams with any impression other than those fuckin' Sand ninja are pretty fuckin' hardcore.
Baki had explained that this was why Kankurou was an examiner. His calloused little heart was hard enough not to feel remorse for kicking the shit out of any ninja stupid enough not to cheat with finesse, and he cut an imposing enough figure for a fifteen-year-old.
Kankurou was only making a fuss because growling at kids was boring.
Opportunity just came knocking with the force of a hurricane. If Temari was helping with this exam instead of going on a mission, Ino could have easily gotten some information but this-this was even better. She didn't really know Temari's brother all that well aside from the obvious: he was kind of an asshole, loud, obnoxious, used puppets, and that paint-whoa. It definitely made him stand out. It was so easy to pretend to stumble and bump into him coming around the hall way and even easier to pull that "I am so innocent and angelic" look that she had perfected over the past few years.
"Oh! Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I should really watch where I'm going."
Acting was an asset, wasn't it? And Ino was good at it. A girl couldn't be a good kunoichi without being a good actress. Not too over the top but not too demure either. Natural. Charming. Insanely adorable. That was what was important. She would get her information one way or the other.
Chouji had better appreciate this.
She was small, and she was blonde. He thought at first that it was his sister, but that was just an initial impulse because this girl was thinner than Temari, paler, and more fragile-looking. It took a moment of brain-cudgeling before he recognized her, his painted brow crinkling in thought, but it snapped into place just as soon as she looked up at him: Yamanaka Ino, one of those Konoha kunoichi in for the exams. Her eyes were unsettling, large and blue and terminally unfocused without the pinpricks of pupil.
Her tits were coming in nicely, though, Kankurou noted as she brushed against him before straightening. Reeeeal nicely indeed.
"You sure you're here for th' exams?" he teased, an interesting lightness to his tone. That lightheartedness would die sometime during his late teens, but for now he was fifteen and just at the cusp of experience. "I mean, stumblin' 'round like that en't a good sign."
"Don't say it like that," she whined lightly, putting her hands on her hips. "I'll have you know I'm injured. Since there's another day before the second exam, Asuma-sensei got permission from some of the jounin guards outside to let me come in here to get some ice for my ankle." A complete and utter lie. The guards had let her come inside but only because she had made friends with them and because they didn't think a little genin girl from Konoha could do much damage with people like Gaara lurking about.
She pretended to look thoughtful for a moment and then beamed at him. "If you're not busy, maybe you could help me for a minute. Just, you know, point me in the direction of a first aid kit." Ino put her hands together pleadingly-guys found that so cute and this guy didn't exactly look like a sharpest tool in the shed. Besides, he was a teenager. Teenage boys only thought of that one thing. "Please, Kankurou-san? I'd be really grateful. I have to be at my best for tomorrow."
Girls like her---cutesy and whiny and needy, unable to do ANYTHING for themselves---rubbed Kankurou's fur all the wrong way. He hated girls like Ino so damn much, he could puke. Sure, breasts were great and he had no qualms with enjoying the female form, but it seemed like nine out of ten genin girls only crawled up in rank because they clutched at the ankles of their male teammates. Because of this, he could allow himself to like girls, but the only female who'd won his respect was Temari.
And that was only because she'd been kicking his ass on a daily basis since they were toddler.
"Get it yourself," he muttered, shrugging. "I en't your babysitter an' you c'n still walk."
Grabbing his black tunic and yanking him down hard enough to choke him so that they were nose to nose, Ino gave him a slightly more nefarious smile. "I don't think Baki-san or your brother would be happy to find out that you ignored an injured ally. Not right now when our villages are getting along so well. It's not very good for diplomatic and village relations, you know."
She let go of him, shrugging nonchalantly at the slight shocked silence that followed. "Okay, that's fine. I'll just go ask one of them for help and tell them that you brushed me off carelessly and I am highly offended. I think Tsunade-sama will want to hear about this as well…"
Kankurou blinked bemusedly as he suddenly found himself face-to-face with the foreign girl, more or less choked and two inches away from the sly curl of her devious smile. He wasn't sure where the shy little cutesy bitch had gone, but someone heated and confident had replaced her as swiftly as if she'd thundered off stage right.
"F-fuck. Fine!" he snapped when she released him, straightening his tunic with a painted frown. "I'll get you your damn ice, an' then you go back ta your Leaf teammates an' leave me th' hell alone. You should be restin' an' gettin' yourself hydrated. You're gonna crisp in th' sun, y'know."
Bingo. He was so easy to manipulate. Were all men like this? At this rate she wasn't going to get anything out of him. Damn. Maybe she should have just abandoned this plan and done something productive. No. She didn't give up easily! "I do feel a little bit dizzy," one hand went over her mouth as though very concerned and slightly sick. "But I'm sure once my ankle feels better I'll be fine."
She let her body sway a bit, legs looking trembly and weak. It was easy to get this way in the desert. The sun was strong and the people of Konoha were used to the shade of trees. Especially with Ino's skin, hair, and eyes she had almost zero protection from the sun. Looking "sick and weak" was the first trick they taught kunoichi in the academy. It looked like her training was finally paying off.
First was playing the weak ankle card, second try was cutesy, third try was ballsy, fourth try was a jab at inciting his pity and manly urge to Protect the Woman. He didn't hold her up, or give her his hand to keep her steady. If she was going to fall, she was going to fall.
Although, he didn't really believe she was going to fall at all. Her hands hadn't been clammy when she'd touched him, and her face lacked either the high color or extreme pallidity of someone about to faint.
"Y'know," he said, keeping his tone even, even though he wanted to laugh just a bit. Her acting was good---it'd blossom into something fearsome, someday; she had real talent---but she shouldn't have retreated from the ballsy approach. That one he'd bought, but she'd backed off from it. "If you're gonna try schmoozin' me up, you gotta keep ta one act an' one act alone. Y'keep bouncin' around, an' as a fellow actor, I sure as all hell en't convinced. If you're gonna switch roles 'cause one angle en't doin' it, you gotta transition."
Her pride as a kunoichi was riding on this. She had a horrible flashback of that time in Konoha when Neji ignored how incredibly sexy she was. But that was okay. She had bounced back from this. "Haha, you're no fun at ALL!" Ino slapped him on the shoulder none too gently. "And I thought you Suna guys had a sense of humor. I'm disappointed. Here we are trying to play nice and improve relations… it's fine, it's fine~" Ino sang, letting his harsh words roll off of her.
"If you're so smart and good at this, how should I try to get you to pay some attention to me?" she asked, only half teasingly. Letting a man think he was superior-that was another thing Suzume-sensei said that they loved.
Oh yes. She had a whole book of facts stuffed in her head. She was getting out of this situation the winner, no matter what the cost.
It was a tough call, trying to gauge if she'd honestly dropped the act or if she'd squirreled herself into a new corner to launch at him from. Either way, this was easily twenty times more interesting than sulking in front of Gaara's door, licking his mental wounds after the verbal smackdown Baki had given him, so he played along. Kankurou started to walk towards the roof, his body language indicating that Ino should follow because their game was far from being over.
"First off, don't ever try that whiny, baby-face shit with me again," Kankurou said with a nod. "Makes me wanna punch you in th' face, not cuddle you. Threatenin's pretty damn hot, though, not gonna lie. If you're comin' onta someone for info, stay neutral 'til you c'n tell 'zactly what they go for. That's th' rule o' thumb."
This proved it. All of Suna was completely off of their rocker. And they said Gaara was the crazy one? Ino thought they should have taken a new poll. But she followed anyway, not ready to give up yet. There was still a tiny glimmer of hope and that was Kankurou's incredibly large ego. "I see," she said, as though really taking his words into consideration.
What a moron.
"And if I'm not here for information but just because?" She had to be careful not to look like that thought of actually talking to him made her want to vomit or throw herself off of the roof. Those two choices seemed like better options at the moment, truth be told.
The glare he shot over his shoulder was appropriately flat. "Blondie. Nobody talks ta me jus' 'cause. Not even my sibs. You want somethin', an' I'm jus' gonna play along an' see if you c'n hedge 'round it well enough ta keep me from eliminatin' you from th' rest of the exams."
There was a truth to his statement, a barb that surely Ino was trying to work around without pricking her pale fingers. The air on the rooftop was oppressively heavy, almost too thick to breathe properly. A khamseen wind had kicked up sometime in the mid-afternoon, and it foretold blisteringly hot weather---and, if they were particularly unlucky---a sandstorm.
That settled a little awkwardly on Kankurou's conscious. Would they really usher the genin out into the desert if every Suna native could feel the impending sandstorm? Were they really going to tip the scales in favor of the Suna nin that much?
Ino sat up on the stone ledge, dangling her legs and looking up at the sky. It was really so clear-Shikamaru was missing out by being back in Konoha. "Not really," she said casually, trying to tame her wind tousled hair. "You don't look like you know much about anything, so I really won't gain anything by talking to you. Just bored and your sister isn't here." This was partly true. Where was Temari when she needed her? "And that’s a little sad that no one wants to talk to you, don't you think? Maybe you need to fix that personality of yours."
He liked her being a confident bitch? He was going to get slapped in the face with confident bitchiness. Even the way she held herself, she knew, was full of pride. Her shoulders and back were straight with her chin tilted slightly and arrogantly. That was all natural-she didn't need to act confident, she was the embodiment of confidence. The only thing that was currently annoying her besides his voice was the wind whipping her skirt around her thighs. As much as she wanted information, she really didn't want Kankurou to know what sort of underwear she wore.
Normally, Kankurou would have launched into an instant argument with her. She was fantastically bold and the cant of her hips invited his attitude. Normally, this would have been an awesome distraction from his stupid assignment to the exams---he was a jounin! Only chuunin presided over the exams unless they were foreign dignitaries!---but the realization that bad weather was rising silenced his humor.
Kankurou wasn't exactly nice, but he wasn't experienced enough to have hardened his heart too much yet. He chewed on his lower lip in thought, ignoring the slickness and acrid taste of his paint.
"...I think---" he began to say haltingly, drawing out the words uncertainly as they bubbled up. "---nah. Nah, I know. I know there's gonna be a sandstorm in th' next two'r three days. You know how ta handle a sandstorm, Leaf-hime?"
"Make sure you have enough food, water, and shelter that will hold up. Oh and hope that sand doesn't get in uncomfortable places," Ino said with a nod of her head. A sandstorm? That was going to shock the hell out of the non Suna-nins considering the other villages didn't have sand. She made a mental note to find a shelter and rations first before anything. They had to be prepared for this storm.
Good thing Kankurou liked to hear himself talking, who knows what other little tidbits he would give away? Ino laughed and crossed her legs, tapping her nails against the ledge. "I guess we'll have to wait and see how I handle it. It's not that bad, though. The forest is way harder to live in."
Baiting him? Just a little.
That rubbed at his pride a little, yeah, but he tried to ignore it and focus instead on her obvious ignorance. The thing about confidence was that it wasn't too difficult to tell when it was false and when it was natural. A lot of Ino's attitude seemed geniuine, and he liked that---it reminded him a lot of his sister, who had every reason to be confident in herself and her abilities. But that quick, generic reply? She had no idea what to do, other than hide. And, honestly, there wouldn't be much chance of that, given the terrain of the desert.
These kids were going to be SOL. This would be one of the toughest pre-battle rounds he'd ever heard of.
"Your forest en't got nothin' on sandstorms," he said, half in awe of the very thought of the desert's most violent kind of temper tantrum. "You can't outrun a storm like this, an' it usually gives way ta lightnin' storms, too. Visibility is cut ta zero under ten seconds when it hits, an' if you en't prepared, respitory distress'll do you in 'fore you c'n even whimper."
She tucked that little tidbit of information away, trying not to look too pleased. He was just giving away this stuff. All she had to do was prey on his ridiculously huge ego and she would have him in the palm of her hand. "But the forest has things like bears and other wild animals," Ino made sure, just for good measure, her skirt rose just slightly over her thigh as she got comfortable and made sure not to fall backwards off of the building. "And the poisonous bugs and snakes! Not to mention the things that live in the water…"
Suzume-sensei was right to say she was Konoha's secret weapon. Even at this young of an age she knew how to get exactly the information she wanted. Maybe it was a rocky start and she would probably have to make out with him a little, but this was going exactly the way she wanted it to.
Maybe he pitied her, just a little. She was small, and it was obvious that athleticism wasn't her strongest point---quick, maybe, and flexible, but she was definitely a flower when it came to endurance.
So he kept talking. He didn't even care at this point what he gave away, because Suna would have an unfair advantage, anyway.
And besides, she was kinda pretty, aside from those freaky eyes. He raised an eyebrow at the glowing inch of pale skin bared as she hiked her skirt up a little, amazed that anything natural could be that white.
"'Member th' last chuunin exams? Th' one where me an' my sibs beat th' record for time spent in th' Forest of Death? Yeah. That's how hardcore your dumbass trees an' snakes are." Kankurou took a deep breath, wondering if he could get penalized for just giving away information. Oh well. What would Gaara do, smack him? His brother was too irritated by the lack of Uzumaki Naruto in the group from Konoha to do much of anything. "If you get caught in th' sandstorm...wet a cloth an' put it over your nose an' mouth. If you've got any kinda lubricant---petroleum jelly'r whatever---lube up th' inside of your nose ta prevent burns. There en't gonna be a magical shack ta hide in, so find a rock'r outcroppin' ta protect at least one side. Don't. Keep. Movin'. Buckle down 'til it passes."
"Very sage advice. I'll be sure to keep that in mind." She couldn't do much better if she had asked him to draw her a map. He wasn't even asking for anything perverted in return. Ino was seriously winning at life here. This was more information that she counted on getting in the first place. But like her father always said, nothing in life was free. She still had to be cautious, ally or not. Kankurou was proving not to be such an awful guy. He was pretty helpful when it came down to it.
Ino leaned her elbows on her legs, relaxing her posture a bit. Now that he kept talking, she zoned in and out of the conversation a bit, listening when things sounded important, not listening when he said things that didn't really concern her. She wondered what he would look like paintless-probably much better than he did with it on. It was probably rude to be staring at him like that but she couldn't help it. When someone hid something it made the mind wonder.
"---an' 'member, when th' winds'r whippin' 'round like that, you get sandblasted. I mean that for real. Cover up EVERYTHIN', or you're gonna get friction burns an'..." Kankurou paused, sizing up her slightly vacant expression. She was staring at him, or through him, looking like that girl from Taki who'd told him she'd marry him if she could get out of her contract as a kunoichi.
She looked like a stupid girl, and he disliked it instantly. The only reason he'd talked with her at ALL was the fact that she'd shown enough backbone to interest him. And now what---nothing? That vacuous expression that meant she had locked down entirely? Kankurou growled low in his throat.
"LOOK. I'm tellin' you shit that'll save your fuckin' life---if you don't wanna hear it, don't fuckin' waste my time."
"Stop being so oversensitive!" she snapped back. Half of it was how incredibly exhausted she was from this whole expedition. Ino didn't do well when the sun was beating down on her for so long. Her body was annoyed at the extreme temperate changes and all the usage of chakra. "I'm listening, I'm listening! I've heard every single word you said. I appreciate the advice, trust me." She really hoped that she would be able to catch herself should she fall backwards off of the roof.
What a way to go.
"Anyway, like I said, I owe you one. Those were some good tips. That's still not reason to be a cocky asshole about it, but good tips nonetheless." Aaaand the bitch was back.
Oversensitive? He was not oversensitive! How dare she say he was oversensitive! His chewed on his irritation, brow furrowed stormily, and tried to cap it. It was the heat. Khamseen weather drove everyone mad with its stifling, sweltering heat and the horrible wait for the storm itself.
"Damn straight you owe me one," he grouched, sounding like nothing more than a seriously peeved five-year-old. "An' I do intend ta collect."
This conversation was like being back in the academy. In kindergarten. Was being a chuunin worth all of this? "Well, I don't have the currency for Wind country so I'll just give you an IOU or something." A bead of sweat made its way down her collar bone and neck, disappearing into her shirt. Augh. The sun was so uncomfortable. She could feel her cheeks turning red even though she had practically rolled in sun block. How did people live in these sorts of conditions?
Her hair was sticking to the back of her neck uncomfortably, to boot. Water was scarce in the desert, so it wasn't like she could just jump in the shower. The best she would get was a bucket of water and a thumbs up, telling her not to use it all on one place.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
"An'...if you're out there for more'n a day, you'll run outta water," Kankurou finished, crossing his arms over his chest with a glower. She was obviously uncomfortable, and they'd only been outside for ten, maybe fifteen, minutes. Two or three days out in the desert might do a girl like her in entirely. "Set up a fog net at night; you won't get much from it, but it'll be enough. An' s'far as IOUs go, I take payment in cash, adoration, an' makeouts. Take your pick."
Kankurou decided he'd have to talk with Gaara about this. It just didn't set right with him. No, Suna didn't have the same crazy-ass monsters that Konoha's forests boasted, but a blood-sucking, razor-toothed flying leech could be avoided. The sun could not.
I think… I just vomited a little. "Like I said! Next time you're in Konoha, food is totally on me," she said cheerfully, sliding off of the ledge to stand up. Ino brushed off her skirt and held her hands behind her back, laced together. "And you know Konoha has a great variety of food. It's a great offer."
It was a stupid question---he knew that before he even said it, knew it just as the word kiss popped into his head and wouldn't flag---but what was the worst she could do? Say no?
...the worst she could do was stick a kunai in his gut and blame sexual harrassment. There was always that.
"I'm gonna hold you ta that," Kankurou agreed, popping his knuckles with practiced ease. "I'll bet y'know all th' good places ta eat, considerin' that fatass you tote 'round. A date it is, then."
Ino would have sighed a huge breath of relief if not for the fact it would have been completely insulting. Wow. Today really was her lucky day. "Don't call him that!" she said fiercely, glaring daggers at him. Only she was allowed to be mean to her teammates, it was an unwritten rule of team 10.
Ugh. The word date had just made her skin crawl.
He blinked stupidly. "...but he is fat. Seriously, he's huge. I'm jus' pointin' out th' truth. ---'Neways, you'd better skip off ta see him 'fore you get heatstroke out here. Th' next round starts at sunset, an' you oughta be rested an' hydrated 'fore you go inta th' desert."
He was such a complete jerk, Ino had absolutely zero words. After this, as helpful as he had been, she did not want anything to do with him. This date thing? Not going to happen. Not in this lifetime. Grabbing him again by the shirt, Ino pulled him down and braced herself before planting a short kiss. It would take all of her powers as a kunoichi to do this and not throw up.
Take one for the team, Yamanaka, take one for the team.
"Debt paid. Now I have to go chew on glass. Later."
Stunned from the kiss, Kankurou stood there under the beating gaze of the impartial desert sun, watching the Konoha girl saunter away. Had he been any less dazzled by her boldness---it'd been his first kiss, no matter how quick or gross in her eyes---he would have whistled in her wake or yelled some garbled comment on the spherical quality of her ass.
What a fuckin' weird girl.
He'd have to keep his eye on this Leaf girl---and hope Temari never found out to tease him about it.
---
Chouji wiped his sweaty face against his forearm, round cheeks flushed and shoulder-length hair sticking unpleasantly to his neck. If there was any place in the world that hated big people on principle, it was the desert. Between his armor and his own insulation, he was feeling mightily cooked. Still, though, they'd survived the second test with flying colors---even as a freak sandstorm descended, Ino had leapt into action and quite literally saved their lives. He gave her a sideways look, handing her a damp washcloth to cool her face with.
"Hey, Ino...so how'd you know all that stuff about the desert? I mean, it's a REALLY good thing that you knew it, but...did Asuma-sensei talk to you about it? I wish he'd told me. It was pretty scary when the sun just...blotted out like that."
"Woman's intuition," Ino panted, looking anywhere else but at Chouji. "Now let's get the hell out of here."