Stuck at school
While I'm sitting here, waiting for the shuttle to come because it's raining and dark and I had to be a bear for a long time today so I am tired and therefore do not feel like walking up Denny. Was there a second part to that sentence? The world may never know.
alternatively titled, "I Hate Everything"
by Allison Irvine
There once was a girl from California who moved to Seattle to attend art school, let's call her "Allison". She got through freshman year successfully, spent a summer working at Starbucks, met a new roommate and moved into a new apartment. Then sophomore year began.
One of the classes Allison was taking that year was Performance Art. This class required her to purchase three textbooks at the University Bookstore. She took a long, arduous bus ride...alright, a short, easy bus ride, to the U-District and successfully found the textbooks. Then she went to Chipotle...because it's RIGHT THERE and, really, what a waste if she didn't go. And she stopped in at Half-Price books because she had to find a book of verbs in a foreign language. The one she found happened to be German, which was exciting, because German verbs have lots of 'sch' sounds and w's pronounced as v's and it's just exciting. She also bought a book to teach herself Gaelic. Then she went home.
Because she had purchased her textbooks, Allison was able to complete her first Performance Art readings. HOWEVER (and here the plot thickens), when the next readings from said books were assigned, and she sat down after procrastinating for a very long time to attempt them, THE BOOKS WERE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.
She was pretty sure she left them on the couch. However, the couch is small, and they were quite obviously not there.
So she went to her room and looked for them. They were not there either.
She returned to the living room and performed a more thorough search, even looking in the pink ottomans and under the masses of papers on the dining room table. No luck. Back to her room, with the same detailed search, and still nothing. She checked the bathroom and kitchen, and was not surprised to find the books had not migrated there either.
Allison was forced to pause and express her feelings. "Well, fuck!" is what she said. The next day she did the readings with the books on reserve in the library.
Over the next two weeks or so, she continued searching for the books, to no avail. She came to the conclusion that she MUST have left the textbooks at school...that one day that she brought them to class. It is just possible that she left them in her locker, before she placed a lock on it. Perhaps some unscrupulous person had stolen them (it would not be the first time she'd had something taken from the locker room. She is, in fact, still bitter about losing her beautiful purple sunglasses last semester.)
One Monday morning approximately two weeks later, Allison was running a bit late for school when she suddenly remembered she had some verbs to translate into German. She quickly threw open the pink ottoman, thinking that that was where she had left the book.
Guess what? IT WASN'T THERE.
She did the same through-apartment search (although much abridged, because, remember, she had to go to school.) Then she translated the verbs with the help of an online dictionary.
When she returned home that afternoon, she found her roommate had cleaned up the apartment and it looked AMAZING (thanks Tessa!) She asked if any of her books had been found, with a certain amount of hopelessness. Of course, they had not.
And, having just accomplished a thorough cleaning of her own room, Allison has been forced to come to the conclusion that the books are nowhere in the apartment.
While she was willing to accept that the performance art books were lost through her own negligence, the German verb book HAS NEVER BEEN TAKEN OUT OF THE APARTMENT. She finds this a bit frustrating. The only people who would have had the opportunity to take it were Tessa, Edward the Devil Cat, or her landlord - none of whom would have much interest in these books.
She has therefore decided that there is a Black Hole somewhere in the apartment. Or an annoying poltergeist.
Allison finds this annoying.
The End...?
EDIT: The Performance Art books have been located! As it turns out, they were in the classroom THE WHOLE TIME. Who knew? I feel dumb.
Buuut my theory about the black hole still stands because the German verb book is still missing. I'm probably gonna just cave and buy a new one.
Also I'm not sure how, but after the Rocky performance on Saturday (which was clown-themed, btw. Terrifying, although there was a guy from Tacoma dressed as Heath Ledger's Joker playing the Crim), I have acquired a ballon animal Pink Panther. With a large blue phallus.