Title: The Lovers are Losing
Pairing: Kevin/Quorra
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Word Count: 2,559
Disclaimer: Disney owns all. Shocking fact -- I'm not Disney.
Summary: Books have happy endings. Life does not.
Author's note: Fandom needs more of this pairing and this decided to sneak up on me. Takes place shortly after Evolution.
It started when Kevin gave her some new books that he had said would be more to her liking. She didn't really understand his comment. She liked all the books he had already. But he had insisted that she would enjoy herself much better with these new ones. They certainly did look different from the others she had read. The covers where more colorful and had pictures of beautiful Users wrapped in each others arms. She was intrigued to say the least and had started them at once.
At first she was confused as to why the Creator would find these more suited for her. They were silly and strange. Full of concepts she didn't understand and motivations that seemed illogical. She could understand the other books of this type -- fiction Kevin called it -- that she had read before. She knew all about adventure and honor and fighting powers stronger then ones self for the good of others.
But these new books baffled her.
Who cared if a User looked at them a certain way or opened a door for them, or wrote -- or didn't -- them a letter? What difference did it make if that User was rich (a strange concept indeed) or handsome?
But the User females in these books seemed to care a whole lot of about such things.
It was boring.
So she'd given up on them to go back to reading the books she had read before that were at least exciting. Jules Verne never cared if someone couldn't buy a new outfit before a party.
She was content with what she knew...
But then the strangest thing happened. She would find herself thinking of those books and what they meant about the User world. She was always interested in learning more about that strange place and Kevin would only tell her so much -- it seemed to distress him to talk about it. So most of what she knew she had learned from books.
Flynn had said that fiction wasn't real in the sense that those things had actually happened. But was real more or less in the way it depicted Users and their world.
So did that mean that Users really acted like the ones in those books had? Were they really so caught up in such petty things?
Then she had started wondering about whether or not Kevin Flynn ever felt such feelings or worried about those sorts of things...
Had the Creator ever cried because another User had failed to show up for a 'date'? Did he ever learn that a User he cared about loved someone else and did it make him sad? She wondered if in his former life his heart had been broken. She wasn't really sure what that meant. But it seemed to happen a lot in those books. Sometimes when a User was derezzed...
Had any Users that Kevin Flynn knew ever been derezzed? If a broken heart was about loosing the ones you cared about then she could understand that. She felt sad when she thought about her family and all the other lost ISOs.
Eventually her thoughts had morphed into thinking about the other aspects of the books.
Did he ever dance and sing or go clothes shopping? Had he talked all night on the phone (who knew what that was) or driven in a fancy car? (light runner?) Was he ever taken into the arms of a handsome User and swept off his feet? Had that User hugged him? Kissed him? Made love to him?
She had never had thoughts like this before about the Creator. But now that those thoughts had taken hold she found herself thinking about them almost constantly.
She would watch him meditating and examine his face and body. He was handsome and she wondered why she hadn't realized it before. When they ate dinner she would noticed the shape of this mouth or the taunt line of his neck. His hair became endlessly fascinating and she wished that he would wear regular clothes instead of his loose fitting robes so she could see the form of his body better.
When they would go to their respective rooms for sleep mode, she found herself thinking about laying beside him and feeling the warmth of his body against hers. Programs were cool to the touch, only he burned like a activated identity disc and it had become endlessly distracting.
After a milicycle she was frustrated and confused.
She figured the answer would be in the source that had started all these inappropriate thoughts.
She knew she shouldn't feel this way for him. He was the Creator, a User. He was off limits. But she went to the source anyway and tried to find answers. And the answer she found had been follow your emotions and just go for it. The path of true love never did run straight.
She reread all the books and studied them in detail and that time around they didn't seem quite so silly anymore. She found herself wanting the handsome User to get on one knee and give the other the long sought after golden disc. She was even more sure then before that what she was feeling for Flynn was what Users themselves felt for each other. So how could that be wrong?
She took the advice of the books and tried to get his attention.
She pretended to fall down in front of him, but he hadn't kissed her when he helped her up. She had made him things and rezzed them dinner a few times (not a success) had praised him and admired his custom light cycle. She tried to give him seductive looks and she had altered her suit to show more of her bust. She had even thought about getting lost in the outlands so he could come and rescue her. But decided against it considering how it went the last time she had been lost out there.
She tried almost everything the Users in the books did to earn attention, but nothing seemed to work. She was not the type to give up easily however and decided that an overt gesture was needed.
She was going to kiss him. That was bound to get his attention.
She waited until he was relaxing after a long bout of intense meditating. She sat down by him and made small talk. He seemed oblivious to her nervousness; going on smiling and chatting as if everything was right with the world.
She gathered her nerves.
"Kevin Flynn?"
"What's up?" he asked in his usual playful tone.
"Have you ever been kissed?"
He gave her a surprised look and then laughed.
"Sure I have! A whole lot actually. I know quite a lot about that..."
She perked up at the statement. Perhaps this wouldn't be as difficult as she had anticipated.
"Have you ever kissed anyone?"
"Oh, more times then I can count!"
He was leaning back on his elbows now, the smile still plastered across his handsome face. Totally at ease and none the wiser.
"I've never been kissed. I wanted Anon to do it. But he was derezzed... Would you kiss me?"
The ease of Kevin's body language was lost in a nanocycle flat and he seized up like a bit caught in light runner headlights, eyes wide with shock.
"Quorra -- I don't think that's a very good idea..."
She cocked her head to the side and gave him a disappointed look. Apparently this wasn't going to be easy.
"Why not? Is it because I'm a program?"
He looked uneasy and turned away from her. She tried to think of another reason that could explain his hesitance.
"Is it because your heart has been broken before?"
He whipped his head around to look at her, anger flashing in his eyes for a nanocycle before they softened into the sad look she often saw him wear. She regretted her words. Of course talking about his past would make him upset.
"Yeah... Something like that..."
She wanted to make him feel better. Make him smile again. But she was also not the type to give up and she wanted to complete her mission. Well, asking had gotten her nowhere. It was time to take.
"I'm sorry Kevin. I didn't mean to upset you -- I won't bring it up again."
He was still leaning back on his arms and when he stayed silent she saw her chance.
She leaned down and quickly pressed her lips to his. He made a alarmed grunt and tried to pull away put she followed him, keeping their mouths connected. His lips were soft but firm. The stubble on his chin scratching her skin in a pleasant way. She reached one hand up to tangle in his brown curls and hold him in place.
She had read about a certain style of User kissing and decided to try it. Letting her tongue flicker against the seam of his dry lips. He moaned softly then and opened his mouth to her. Letting her tongue in to roll across his own. She felt a sharp flash of static in her circuits and knew they must be blushing purple by now.
She voiced her own sound of enjoyment when the warm wetness of his tongue dipped into her mouth. He was so hot and she wanted to feel more of his intoxicating User energy. She was feeling sensations she had never felt before outside of her own explorations of her circuits. She wanted to experience these new feelings in all their intensity, she was always hungry for knowledge.
She rested her other hand on his shoulder and pushed down, trying to get him to lay back so she could cover his body with her own. It was a mistake though, for at the feel of the motion he pulled back violently, breaking their kiss.
He scrambled out from underneath her and got to his feet. He looked utterly stricken and she felt a cold knot form in her stomach.
He backed up without a word and walked quickly to his room. Shutting the door louder then normal. She heard the soft hiss of the lock engaging.
She didn't really understand why he was so upset. But she knew she had made a terrible mistake.
Later on that milicycle. Kevin had still not come out of his room. She was full of regret. Her little experiment had not gone at all like she had planned. She was sad in a way she had never been before. She assumed that this was what the books meant by a broken heart.
She made up her mind to make things right and went to his room. Standing before the white door for a mircocyle in indecision before knocking. There was a pause before the lock opened. She entered to find him sitting on the ground, meditating. He didn't open his eyes.
"Kevin Flynn, I want to apologize for earlier. What I did obviously upset you. I'm sorry. But it would help me to understand your feelings better if you told me why you are so upset. You seemed to enjoy kissing me. So why did you leave?"
His body tensed and he opened his eyes slowly. They were still full of sadness.
"Quorra... I can't do that sort of thing with you -- it's not right..."
She gave him a confused look and he sighed deeply before continuing.
"I want you to stay the way you are. Innocent and pure... Perfect. You're special -- the last of your people. I need things to stay the same between us. I don't want our relationship to get complicated."
She didn't understand at all what he meant.
"But Kevin -- I don't see why I can't be innocent and kiss you. What do the two have to do with each other?"
He got up from the floor and started pacing. Trying to avoid her gaze.
"You don't get it. I guess you wouldn't -- you're a program."
She grabbed his arm and made him look at her. He seemed so tired that she momentarily considered dropping the whole thing and just leaving him be. But they needed to work this out if they were going to continue to live together comfortably.
"I don't want you that way Quorra. That's not how I think of you... I did have my heart broken you know. I have no desire to repeat that experience..."
She gasped in shock and tighten her grip on his arm. Trying to let him see the sincerity in her eyes.
"I would never hurt you on purpose Kevin Flynn. I care about you very much..."
He sniffed and she could see tears forming in the corners of his eyes. It was strange and foreign but she understood it meant extreme emotion for Users.
"I know... But she never meant to hurt me either. But she still did."
When she sees the tears fall from his eyes she reacts on instinct and pulls him into a hug. He resists a little at first but then melts into her embrace. He cries harder and she feels wetness dropping onto her shoulder and chest and fights back a shudder of sensation when her circuits absorb it.
"I'm sorry that you were hurt Kevin Flynn. If it makes things bearable for you, then things will stay as they are. I will be innocent for you."
He wraps strong arms around her waist and they stand there for several mircocycles, just holding each other. She's read about this in those books. But it doesn't feel like she thought it would. It doesn't feel like a new beginning, it feels like a door closing. But she has promised to protect the Creator in any way she can. Letting go of her own desires seems a small price to pay to see him happy.
They will continue on as before. She will not bring it up again. She will love him in the way he needs her to...
Later on when he has gone to sleep she takes the books from her room and goes to the balcony.
Tron City is a glimmering jewel in the distance and she misses seeing the light of the portal.
She gives one last look at the books with their colorful, unobtainable promises of loving embraces. Their glimpses into a world she can never know herself.
They opened her eyes and made her want what she couldn't have. She gained knowledge and paid the price.
She sighs and throws them will all her strength over the cliff and out into the abyss. She hears them slam against the rocks on their way down and she wonders how strange it would be for any program to come across them. She knows that will never happen though. No one ever comes out here. It's just her and the Creator in this desolate place and it always will be.
She decides then and there that she will never let herself want anything ever again. She will only want what he wants. She will serve him in the manner he desires. They will never be more then the Creator and his ISO.
He doesn't bring her anymore new books after that and she never asks him to...