(no subject)
Kankurou and Blondie
NarutoHS challenge. 260 words.
Dec 14, 2005
x-posted to the NHS OOC page.
Like everyone else, Kankurou had a secret, guilty pleasure. Not the Mary Jane… that one was fully publicized and exercised with all alacrity. No, Kankurou’s secret love was bad Eighties music, and above all, Blondie. Deborah Harry was his idol, his goddess, his muse. And it was a well-hidden joy, since he so devoutly cultivated the Boyd George punk look. Nobody would guess he loved bad synthesizers and pouty blonds…
Except for one. The pouty blond he called “sister.”
“Kankurou, I swear if you don’t turn that crap down I’m going drive over your records with your own damn Daewoo!”
A mad scrabble, a heart-wrenching cry: “Stuff it, Temari, or your boyfriend’s gonna get Kanked Up Hard!” (It seems that Kankurou’s been taking speech lessons from Gai.)
But. The all-important but. After the howl of rage, the cheesy music subsides, followed by a jingling and the unpleasant sounds of someone trying to swallow his own key ring.
“There! Now just you try to run over my collection! Hah! You can’t, can you, because my keys are now safely in The Kank’s belly!” He basks for a moment in his own genius, secure in his own personal cloud of happy smoke.
“Have you never heard of hotwiring?”
And, foiled again. So he retires with his happy cloud and his internalized car keys, which have begun to speak to him. He will sit and wait and plot until his beautiful, beautiful music may be avenged, and the Key Gods appeased with a sacrifice. A mouthy, pouty blond sacrifice, ever so conveniently.