(no subject)
Random spikey hair-gel'ed dude X: Yo, make me a BLT on a bagel!
Me: Sure, which bagel?
X: *chatting up buddies Y & Z, not answering, AND staring at the bagel assortment at the same time* A toasted BLT bagel!
Me: I mean, a toast BLT on WHICH bagel?
X: I'm still looking, man! I haven't decided yet - it's not my fault! It's all your fault! Yeah!
Me: [WTF?]
X: Okay, on a cheese bagel!
Me: Alrighty. *takes it and slices* Please head on over to the cashier for anything else, I'll bring this over once I'm done.
X: WHAT? YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PAY BEFORE I GET MY BAGEL.
Me: [W. T. F. I'm not gonna even TOAST this thing until you pay up.] ... yes.
Mom: *whispering hastily beside me, having come over at X's raised voice* Why aren't you starting the sandwich yet?
Me: *whispers back in chinese* I'm not doing a thing until he pays you. I think he's one of those guys who pays EVERYTHING by card. (our store's cash only)
X: *goes over to my mom, who's at the cash* I want a hot chocolate too! And hey, you guys are SOOOOO rude!
Mom: *gets why I didn't want to do anything for him yet* ... if you don't want to order, you can always go someplace else.
Me: [YAY!]
X: .... whatever. I will! *goes off*
About half an hour later, he comes by with his buddies while I'm busy with another sandwich and tosses this gem at me. "HEY LADY SMILE!"
.... There are no words.
N, another once in a blue moon customer from a giftshop in the upstairs plaza. His english isn't too good, with a strong accent. Dad's the line cook this time, and I'm the assistant.
N: Make me a bagel, toasted nothing!
Dad: What kind?
N: Pumpernickel!
Dad: Okay, pumpernickel, toasted, nothing on?
N: YES.
Dad: *starts to toast*
N: Another one! Nothing on!
Dad: Another pumpernickel?
N: No, whole wheat!
Dad: Nothing on?
N: Nothing on!
Off N goes to pay, and comes back all aghast.
N: EGG! Where's egg?
Me: ... you ... didn't say egg? You only said nothing on.
Mom: I charged you no egg.
Dad: ... you only said nothing!
N: Bacon* with egg! I want bacon* with egg!
Me: ... okay, we'll do this again - give us a bit of time, and price is different. Please head on over to cashier.
Dad: *under breath* What. The. Fuck. SHITHEAD.
Mom: Over here, I'll count the original price as credit.
Me: *stares at Dad on autopilot of buttered bagel + salt and pepper on scrambled egg* Dad! Psst! Cover that up quick or toast him a new one - he doesn't want anything on!
Dad: SCREW HIM.
Me: @_@ [OH NOES]
Meanwhile, Mom attempts to explain to N that YES, she didn't overcharge him, and YES, she took the amount he paid already off the new bill, and YES, scrambled egg on toasted bagel > toasted bagel in price!
And not only that, there's OTHER customers waiting for their bagels amidst all this confusion.
N: *comes back and utters in horror* NO! NO BACON*! PEPPER! PEPPER ON EGG! NO SALT!
Dad: ... what?!
Me: [What?!]
Mom: ... we all heard bacon and egg! What's going on?
N: BAGEL with EGG! TWO!
Me: [SHIZNIT. It's that stupid accent mixup where BAGEL sounds like BACON again!]*
Dad: I already put it on! Just go to cashier and get your money back. *SNARLS*
Mom: [.... better this way, we don't know if he'll take the bagels even if we took the bacon off at this point.]
... The bacon and egg on pumpernickel made me a great breakfast, btw. :9
* BAGEL = BACON
I'm not sure WHAT lingual accent makes this sound similar, but it DOES. It's not the first time he's done this to us, but we usually figure it out and fix it before we'd put anything on his bagel - back when he bought from us regularly. He'd went MIA for three months since.
Maybe I should post these one day later so that only the REALLY memorable ones make it. *shakes head*