FAMILY COMBAT
Chatlogs posted at Derek's request. C8
(10:34 PM) Derek: Friends are really important to me.
(10:35 PM) Derek: They're the only weapons I have to combat my family
METAPHORICALLY OF COURSE
(10:35 PM) Tess: Hahaha. FAMILY COMBAT
-transforms into a sword-
I WILL HELP YOU WIN IN BATTLE
(10:35 PM) Derek: Oh man, I was just about to type that
TESSWORD
(10:36 PM) Tess: Hahaha.
(10:36 PM) Derek: I guess I've always found friends to be my real family.
(10:36 PM) Derek: Because my INTERNET friends care more about me than my blood family
(10:37 PM) Derek: I've never really had much experience with people caring about me until I met Anna and Sean.
(10:37 PM) Tess: Aww.
(10:37 PM) Derek: A lot of my internet friends complain that I never mention them, but, I mean.
I talk to you, Anna, Sean, and Mashi like, every single day
(10:38 PM) Derek: As far as I'm concerned you guys are like, my best friends ever.
(10:38 PM) Tess: D'aww.
(10:39 PM) Tess: Y'know, it's kinda weird how we became such good friends so quickly.
(10:39 PM) Derek: Yeah.
Didn't we just start talking august?
Or sometime around then
(10:40 PM) Derek: I guess that's not important.
The point is it was recent
(10:40 PM) Tess: Yeah.
(10:40 PM) Derek: But yeah, I know whatcha mean.
(10:40 PM) Derek: To be fair, we have found that we like a lot of the same things
That makes for friendships to grow faster
(10:40 PM) Tess: True.
(10:41 PM) Derek: And this whole "Derek's mom being horrible" thing helped our friendship along too
(10:42 PM) Tess: Haha, I guess.
(10:42 PM) Derek: Nothing brings people together like crisis
(10:42 PM) Tess: I still think it would help even more if I could turn into a freaking sword or something.
(10:42 PM) Derek: It really would
You need to draw that.
(10:42 PM) Tess: Oh totally.
(10:42 PM) Derek: Me holding a TESSWORD
Or JUST the Tessword
(10:43 PM) Derek: Either one
(10:44 PM) Derek: Besides cutting and hacking and slashing, what other awesome powers would you have as a sword?
(10:44 PM) Tess: Hmm...
(10:44 PM) Derek: Besides being totally awesome.
(10:44 PM) Tess: Haha.
(10:45 PM) Derek: What about summoning?
(10:45 PM) Derek: Like, you could summon live versions of your plushies
(10:45 PM) Tess: Oh man.
(10:45 PM) Derek: Imagine like, a GIANT BISCUITDOUGH
(10:45 PM) Tess: That's kind of a wierd thing for a sword to do but OHGODYES
i know how to spell weird
(10:46 PM) Derek: Well, you'd still be Tess, just in sword form.
(10:46 PM) Tess: True.
(10:46 PM) Derek: And the master sword is the blade of evil's bane
The tess sword would be ...
The blade of ...
My mom's bane?
(10:47 PM) Tess: Hahaha.
Sure, let's go with that.
BLADE OF DEREK'S MUM'S BANE
(10:47 PM) Tess: Clearly I am the most badass of swords.
(10:48 PM) Derek: Totally.
"Can also do well against Orcs"
(10:48 PM) Tess: Haha, yup.
(10:48 PM) Derek: "With this blade I shall finally defeat my mom and her ORC ARMY"
(10:49 PM) Tess: Oh man.
(10:49 PM) Tess: Where would she keep all those orcs?
(10:49 PM) Derek: In her evil lair under the horse farm
I mean, they have plenty of horses to ride into battle.
(10:49 PM) Tess: Haha, true.
(10:50 PM) Derek: Her farm is sorrounded by a creepy forest on all ends too
(10:50 PM) Tess: Oh jeez.
(10:50 PM) Derek: Like, it really is.
So that makes for a great lair
And she could also have necromancer powers
(10:51 PM) Derek: And ressurect OUR NATION'S MOST OBSCURE PRESIDENTS
(10:51 PM) Tess: OH SNAP
IT'S EVIL ZOMBIE LINCOLN
RUN FOR YOUR FREAKING LIVES
(10:52 PM) Derek: 4 score and 7 years a- BRAAAAAAIIIINS
(10:52 PM) Tess: Although I guess he's not very obscure.
(10:52 PM) Tess: But I don't really know the obscure ones-- POLK.
(10:52 PM) Derek: Yup
(10:52 PM) Tess: EVIL ZOMBIE POLK.
(10:52 PM) Derek: Zachary Taylor
(10:53 PM) Derek: And the one guy who was elected and died within a month
(10:53 PM) Tess: mister zombie polk, napoleon of the stuuump~
Haha.
(10:53 PM) Derek: Oh man
Zombie polk will be the leader of my mom's zombie army
(10:53 PM) Derek: And her horse division will be headed by a dark unicorn named SHADOW SPRINKLES
(10:54 PM) Tess: And he'd even have his own freaking theme song by freaking TMBG.
And oh man.
SHADOW SPRINKLES
(10:54 PM) Derek: "I love you... TO DEATH"
(10:55 PM) Derek: And yeah. One of his zombies would carry around a stereo that constantly plays his theme.
(10:55 PM) Tess: Haha, yep.
(10:55 PM) Derek: And you'd refuse to destroy that zombie, or the stereo
(10:56 PM) Derek: "Come on, we have to kill them all!" "But... TMBG!"
"You have a point... HMMM"
(10:56 PM) Tess: Hahaha.
(10:56 PM) Derek: And my mom's attacks would be like
(10:56 PM) Derek: "SCOLDING"
"GROUNDED"
(10:56 PM) Tess: Haha, well of course.
(10:57 PM) Derek: And "BERATE"
(10:57 PM) Tess: MOTHER uses GROUNDED!
It's super effective!
(10:57 PM) Derek: And I'd say
NO NOT MY FREEDOM!
(10:58 PM) Tess: And then we'd all have to FIGHT for your FREEDOM and this is sounding more glorious by the second.
(10:58 PM) Derek: Oh my god it is.
(10:58 PM) Tess: Then again, anything will sound like that if you say things like FIGHT and FREEDOM enough.
(10:58 PM) Derek: Totally
BATTLE OF TRUTH
Oh, the leader of the orcs
He has to be sophisticated.
(10:59 PM) Derek: With a pipe and top hat and everything
(10:59 PM) Tess: Oh man.
Totally.
(10:59 PM) Derek: "Sorry dear boy, but I'm terribly afraid I must not let you pass"
(11:00 PM) Tess: Haha.
NONE SHALL PASS
(11:00 PM) Derek: YEs
*YES
(11:00 PM) Tess: And then when you hack his arms off IT'S ONLY A FLESH WOUND
(11:00 PM) Derek: Oh man.
I love that movie
(11:01 PM) Tess: Oh totally.
(10:34 PM) Derek: Friends are really important to me.
(10:35 PM) Derek: They're the only weapons I have to combat my family
METAPHORICALLY OF COURSE
(10:35 PM) Tess: Hahaha. FAMILY COMBAT
-transforms into a sword-
I WILL HELP YOU WIN IN BATTLE
(10:35 PM) Derek: Oh man, I was just about to type that
TESSWORD
(10:36 PM) Tess: Hahaha.
(10:36 PM) Derek: I guess I've always found friends to be my real family.
(10:36 PM) Derek: Because my INTERNET friends care more about me than my blood family
(10:37 PM) Derek: I've never really had much experience with people caring about me until I met Anna and Sean.
(10:37 PM) Tess: Aww.
(10:37 PM) Derek: A lot of my internet friends complain that I never mention them, but, I mean.
I talk to you, Anna, Sean, and Mashi like, every single day
(10:38 PM) Derek: As far as I'm concerned you guys are like, my best friends ever.
(10:38 PM) Tess: D'aww.
(10:39 PM) Tess: Y'know, it's kinda weird how we became such good friends so quickly.
(10:39 PM) Derek: Yeah.
Didn't we just start talking august?
Or sometime around then
(10:40 PM) Derek: I guess that's not important.
The point is it was recent
(10:40 PM) Tess: Yeah.
(10:40 PM) Derek: But yeah, I know whatcha mean.
(10:40 PM) Derek: To be fair, we have found that we like a lot of the same things
That makes for friendships to grow faster
(10:40 PM) Tess: True.
(10:41 PM) Derek: And this whole "Derek's mom being horrible" thing helped our friendship along too
(10:42 PM) Tess: Haha, I guess.
(10:42 PM) Derek: Nothing brings people together like crisis
(10:42 PM) Tess: I still think it would help even more if I could turn into a freaking sword or something.
(10:42 PM) Derek: It really would
You need to draw that.
(10:42 PM) Tess: Oh totally.
(10:42 PM) Derek: Me holding a TESSWORD
Or JUST the Tessword
(10:43 PM) Derek: Either one
(10:44 PM) Derek: Besides cutting and hacking and slashing, what other awesome powers would you have as a sword?
(10:44 PM) Tess: Hmm...
(10:44 PM) Derek: Besides being totally awesome.
(10:44 PM) Tess: Haha.
(10:45 PM) Derek: What about summoning?
(10:45 PM) Derek: Like, you could summon live versions of your plushies
(10:45 PM) Tess: Oh man.
(10:45 PM) Derek: Imagine like, a GIANT BISCUITDOUGH
(10:45 PM) Tess: That's kind of a wierd thing for a sword to do but OHGODYES
i know how to spell weird
(10:46 PM) Derek: Well, you'd still be Tess, just in sword form.
(10:46 PM) Tess: True.
(10:46 PM) Derek: And the master sword is the blade of evil's bane
The tess sword would be ...
The blade of ...
My mom's bane?
(10:47 PM) Tess: Hahaha.
Sure, let's go with that.
BLADE OF DEREK'S MUM'S BANE
(10:47 PM) Tess: Clearly I am the most badass of swords.
(10:48 PM) Derek: Totally.
"Can also do well against Orcs"
(10:48 PM) Tess: Haha, yup.
(10:48 PM) Derek: "With this blade I shall finally defeat my mom and her ORC ARMY"
(10:49 PM) Tess: Oh man.
(10:49 PM) Tess: Where would she keep all those orcs?
(10:49 PM) Derek: In her evil lair under the horse farm
I mean, they have plenty of horses to ride into battle.
(10:49 PM) Tess: Haha, true.
(10:50 PM) Derek: Her farm is sorrounded by a creepy forest on all ends too
(10:50 PM) Tess: Oh jeez.
(10:50 PM) Derek: Like, it really is.
So that makes for a great lair
And she could also have necromancer powers
(10:51 PM) Derek: And ressurect OUR NATION'S MOST OBSCURE PRESIDENTS
(10:51 PM) Tess: OH SNAP
IT'S EVIL ZOMBIE LINCOLN
RUN FOR YOUR FREAKING LIVES
(10:52 PM) Derek: 4 score and 7 years a- BRAAAAAAIIIINS
(10:52 PM) Tess: Although I guess he's not very obscure.
(10:52 PM) Tess: But I don't really know the obscure ones-- POLK.
(10:52 PM) Derek: Yup
(10:52 PM) Tess: EVIL ZOMBIE POLK.
(10:52 PM) Derek: Zachary Taylor
(10:53 PM) Derek: And the one guy who was elected and died within a month
(10:53 PM) Tess: mister zombie polk, napoleon of the stuuump~
Haha.
(10:53 PM) Derek: Oh man
Zombie polk will be the leader of my mom's zombie army
(10:53 PM) Derek: And her horse division will be headed by a dark unicorn named SHADOW SPRINKLES
(10:54 PM) Tess: And he'd even have his own freaking theme song by freaking TMBG.
And oh man.
SHADOW SPRINKLES
(10:54 PM) Derek: "I love you... TO DEATH"
(10:55 PM) Derek: And yeah. One of his zombies would carry around a stereo that constantly plays his theme.
(10:55 PM) Tess: Haha, yep.
(10:55 PM) Derek: And you'd refuse to destroy that zombie, or the stereo
(10:56 PM) Derek: "Come on, we have to kill them all!" "But... TMBG!"
"You have a point... HMMM"
(10:56 PM) Tess: Hahaha.
(10:56 PM) Derek: And my mom's attacks would be like
(10:56 PM) Derek: "SCOLDING"
"GROUNDED"
(10:56 PM) Tess: Haha, well of course.
(10:57 PM) Derek: And "BERATE"
(10:57 PM) Tess: MOTHER uses GROUNDED!
It's super effective!
(10:57 PM) Derek: And I'd say
NO NOT MY FREEDOM!
(10:58 PM) Tess: And then we'd all have to FIGHT for your FREEDOM and this is sounding more glorious by the second.
(10:58 PM) Derek: Oh my god it is.
(10:58 PM) Tess: Then again, anything will sound like that if you say things like FIGHT and FREEDOM enough.
(10:58 PM) Derek: Totally
BATTLE OF TRUTH
Oh, the leader of the orcs
He has to be sophisticated.
(10:59 PM) Derek: With a pipe and top hat and everything
(10:59 PM) Tess: Oh man.
Totally.
(10:59 PM) Derek: "Sorry dear boy, but I'm terribly afraid I must not let you pass"
(11:00 PM) Tess: Haha.
NONE SHALL PASS
(11:00 PM) Derek: YEs
*YES
(11:00 PM) Tess: And then when you hack his arms off IT'S ONLY A FLESH WOUND
(11:00 PM) Derek: Oh man.
I love that movie
(11:01 PM) Tess: Oh totally.