In which Derek and Tess try and fail to troll Sean

[kougrapaw]

(10:59 AM) carcinoGeneticist: HELLO.
(10:59 AM) Sean has changed his/her status to Idle
(10:59 AM) gallowsCalibrator: WH4T 1S TH1S NONS3NS3
WHY 4R3 W3 W4ST1NG OUR T1M3 W1TH TH1S HUM4N
(10:59 AM) carcinoGeneticist: MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE DECIDED THAT WE WOULD LIKE TO TROLL YOU.
(11:00 AM) carcinoGeneticist: AND YOUR SILLY HUMAN WAYS
(11:01 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOU KNOW TH1S 1SNT R34LLY V3RY FUN 1F TH3 V1CT1M DO3SNT R3SPOND
(11:02 AM) carcinoGeneticist: HE APPEARS TO HAVE GONE AWAY JUST AS I INVITED YOU.
HE IS MORE CLEVER THAN I THOUGHT.
(11:02 AM) Sean has changed his/her status to Online
(11:02 AM) Sean: I AM SONIC 3'ING
(11:02 AM) gallowsCalibrator: GODDAMM1T WHY D1D 1 L3T YOU P1- OH TH3R3 H3 1S
(11:03 AM) carcinoGeneticist: FORGET THE TERMINALLY ILL HEDGEHOG FOR A MOMENT AND PAY ATTENTION TO OUR RAD TROLLING.
(11:03 AM) gallowsCalibrator: GOD 1TS 4BOUT T1M3 YOU SHOW3D UP
(11:04 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YEAH. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT'S BEEN TO FIND SOMEONE TO TORTURE TODAY?
(11:04 AM) Sean has changed his/her status to Idle
(11:04 AM) Sean has changed his/her status to Online
(11:04 AM) Sean: OH YOU TROLLS
(11:04 AM) gallowsCalibrator: STOP M3SS1NG 4ROUND W1TH YOUR P4TH3T1C HUM4N 3NT3RT41NM3NT TH1NG 4ND T4LK TO US
(11:05 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YES. US TROLLS. WE ARE JUST INTERNET TROLLS AND IN NO WAY ACTUAL TROLLS FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE OR PLANET.
(11:06 AM) carcinoGeneticist: AND THERE AREN'T 10 MORE OF US EITHER. Nope.
(11:06 AM) gallowsCalibrator: 1 TH1NK YOUR C4PSLOCK 1S 4 L1TTL3 BROK3N TH3R3
G3T 1T TOG3TH3R M4N
(11:06 AM) Sean has changed his/her status to Idle
(11:07 AM) Sean has changed his/her status to Online
(11:07 AM) Sean: I LIKE TO VOICE MYSELF
(11:07 AM) gallowsCalibrator: WH4T 4R3 YOU 3V3N T4LK1NG 4BOUT
(11:07 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOU HUM4NS 4R3 4LL 1D1OTS 1 SW34R
(11:08 AM) carcinoGeneticist: I MEAN. NOPE. YES. NOPE. AND I'M SHIFTING.
(11:08 AM) carcinoGeneticist: CAPSLOCK TIRES ME.
(11:08 AM) gallowsCalibrator: M4N 4R3 YOU 3V3N TRY1NG
(11:08 AM) carcinoGeneticist: HUMANS DON'T SEEM TO REALIZE HOW AWESOME WE ARE.
(11:09 AM) Sean: What do you guys even want from me?
(11:10 AM) gallowsCalibrator: TH3 S4T1SF4CT1ON OF YOUR F33BL3 4TT3MPTS TO 1GNOR3 US F41L1NG M1S3R4BLY
(11:10 AM) carcinoGeneticist: AND THE REALIZATION THAT WE ARE INDEED MORE AWESOME THAN YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC RACE.
WANT TO HEAR A CRACK PAIRING?
(11:11 AM) carcinoGeneticist: ADIOSTOREADOR AND DAVE STRIDER
(11:11 AM) Sean: What does that EVEN mean
(11:11 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOU R34LLY 4R3 STUP1D 4R3NT YOU
(11:12 AM) gallowsCalibrator: L1K3 YOU H4V3NT B33N P4Y1NG 4TT3NT1ON 4T 4LL
(11:12 AM) carcinoGeneticist: WE WILL COPY THIS CONVERSATION AND POST IT PUBLICLY TO FURTHER HUMILIATE YOU.
(11:12 AM) Sean: BUT YOU HAVEN'T PROVED ANYTHING
(11:13 AM) gallowsCalibrator: W3 H4V3 PROV3N TH4T YOU 4R3 4M4Z1NGLY DUMB
(11:13 AM) gallowsCalibrator: L1K3 H1L4R1OUSLY DUMB
(11:13 AM) carcinoGeneticist: AND WE DESERVE MEDALS FOR EVEN TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR DUMB HUMAN BRAIN.
(11:14 AM) gallowsCalibrator: 1 4M L4UGH1NG SO H4RD 4T YOU R1GHT NOW YOU H4V3 NO 1D34
S33
H4H4H4H4H4H4H
(11:14 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YES. I AM LAUGHING TOO.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
(11:15 AM) carcinoGeneticist: THAT IS THE PHRASE HUMANS USE TO EXPRESS HILARITY, CORRECT?
(11:15 AM) Sean: Sounds like forced laughter to me.
(11:15 AM) gallowsCalibrator: 1T R34LLY 1SNT
1 CAN SM3LL YOUR HUM1L14T1ON FROM H3R3
(11:16 AM) gallowsCalibrator: THROUGH YOUR T3XT
(11:16 AM) carcinoGeneticist: BECAUSE SHE CAN'T SEE.
BECAUSE SHE IS BLIND.
ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY BLIND GIRLFRIEND?
(11:16 AM) Sean: BUT HOW CAN SHE READ MY REPLIES
(11:16 AM) gallowsCalibrator: WHY WOULD YOU 3V3N DO TH4T, TH4TS LOW M4N
(11:17 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOUR3 4 J3RK 4ND 1 4M GO1NG TO H4T3 YOU FOR3V3R
(11:17 AM) carcinoGeneticist: DUH, MAN. SHE CAN SMELL YOUR TEXT.
I ASSUME IT SMELlS DUMB. I AM CORRECT, YES?
(11:18 AM) Sean: That's pretty freaky. why would you smell my text
(11:19 AM) gallowsCalibrator: WH4T, YOU HUM4NS DONT SM3LL T3XT???
(11:19 AM) carcinoGeneticist: THAT IS FREAKY.
(11:19 AM) carcinoGeneticist: HUMANS SUCK. SERIOUSLY.
(11:20 AM) gallowsCalibrator: OH GOD TH3Y R34LLY DO
(11:21 AM) Sean: You trolls are.. interesting to say the least
(11:21 AM) carcinoGeneticist: WE ARE MORE THAN INTERESTING. WE ARE MORE ADVANCED THAN HUMANS IN EVERY WAY
(11:22 AM) gallowsCalibrator: TH1S HUM4N 1S NOT 4RGU1NG W1TH US
H3 1S ST4RT1NG TO BOR3 M3
(11:23 AM) Sean: you have to troll other people just to amuse yourself?
you don't sound very advanced to me.
(11:23 AM) gallowsCalibrator: W3 4R3 SO MUCH MOR3 4DV4NC3D TH4N YOUR HUM4N BR41N COULD 3V3R COMPR3H3ND M4N
(11:24 AM) carcinoGeneticist: NO. WE ARE TROLLING YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE THE LAST LINE OF DEFENSE OF YOUR PEOPLE.
(11:24 AM) Sean: No I'm not. where'd you get that stupid idea?
(11:25 AM) gallowsCalibrator: OK4Y NOW YOUR3 JUST NOT M4K1NG 4NY S3NS3 4T 4LL
(11:25 AM) carcinoGeneticist: WE HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR ENTIRE CHRONOLOGY.
WE CHOSE TO TALK TO YOU AT THIS MOMENT.
(11:26 AM) Sean: Neither of you are making any sense
(11:26 AM) gallowsCalibrator: W3LL 4CTUALLY 1M DO1NG TH1S 4LL 1N 4 MOR3 L1N34R F4SH1ON, W3 JUST H4PP3N3D TO BOTH T4LK TO YOU 4T TH3 S4M3 T1M3
(11:27 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS NOT MAKING SENSE.
I AM TALKING TO YOU IN REVERSE.
I AM STARTING TO SEE HOW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.
(11:27 AM) Sean: You aren't very smart, are you?
(11:27 AM) gallowsCalibrator: Y34H 1T W4S K1ND OF 4 STUP1D 1D34
4T L34ST 1 TOOK TH3 LOG1C4L ROUT3
(11:28 AM) carcinoGeneticist: WELL I DIDN'T GO MAPPING OUT THIS WHOLE TROLLING THING.
YOU DON'T MAKE CHARTS AND DIAGRAMS YOU JUST KIND OF DO IT.
(11:28 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOU TOT4LLY M4D3 CH4RTS D1DNT YOU
(11:28 AM) carcinoGeneticist: ... YES I DID
(11:29 AM) Sean: Are you two new to this trolling thing?
(11:29 AM) carcinoGeneticist: ... NO. NO. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING. NO.
(11:30 AM) Sean: I sensed some hesitation there
(11:30 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOUR3 JUST 1M4G1N1NG TH1NGS
(11:30 AM) carcinoGeneticist: HOW CAN YOU SENSE HESITATION. YOU HAVEN'T EVOLVED THAT ABILITY YET.
WE GOT THAT LIKE. 3000 YEARS AGO.
(11:31 AM) gallowsCalibrator: OR SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T 4NYW4Y
(11:31 AM) Sean: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
(11:31 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YEAH. WE'RE NOT HISTORY MAJORS HERE.
BUT WE'RE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT WE'RE SMARTER THAN A HUMAN EVER WILL BE.
(11:32 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOU HUM4NS 4R3 SO C4UGHT UP 1N L34RN1NG 4BOUT YOUR P4ST YOU DONT 3V3N BOTH3R TRY1NG LOOK1NG 1NTO 4NOTH3R UN1V3RS3
(11:33 AM) carcinoGeneticist: LIKE WE DID. AND WE'RE JUST KIDS.
IMAGINE WHAT THE ADULTS OF OUR PLANET HAVE DONE.
(11:33 AM) Sean: I really really doubt everything you are saying
(11:33 AM) carcinoGeneticist: NO YOU CAN'T IMAGINE THAT BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN HASN'T DEVELOPED THAT FAR ENOUGH.
(11:33 AM) gallowsCalibrator: W3LL 4T L34ST YOU 4R3 NOT 4S GULL1BL3 4S TH3 OTH3R HUM4NS W3 H4V3 T4LK3D TO
(11:35 AM) gallowsCalibrator: 1N F4CT YOU 4R3 4 L1TTL3 TOO NOT GULL1BL3
M4YB3 STOP TH4T R1GHT NOW
(11:35 AM) Sean: Or maybe you guys are just kids like me with too much free time on your hands
(11:35 AM) gallowsCalibrator: OR M4YB3 YOUR3 JUST 4 STUP1D HUM4N
(11:35 AM) carcinoGeneticist: OR MAYBE WE'RE TRYING TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE.
YOU ARE MAKING THIS INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT.
(11:36 AM) gallowsCalibrator: W3R3 TRY1NG BUT 1 DONT L1K3 1T
(11:36 AM) Sean: saving the universe by annoying me?
(11:36 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YES. YES, THAT IS EXACTLY HOW WE WILL SAVE THE UNIVERSE.
(11:36 AM) Sean: Explain it the best your tiny troll brains can
(11:37 AM) gallowsCalibrator: NO S33, S33 W3V3 B33N DROPP1NG H1NTS TH1S WHOL3 T1M3
(11:37 AM) carcinoGeneticist: BY ANNOYING YOU WE ARE SETTING IN MOTION A SERIES OF EVENTS.
SMALL AT FIRST.
(11:37 AM) carcinoGeneticist: BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL GET NOTICED.
IT IS... SICKENING, BUT IN TIME YOU WILL BEFRIEND US. UGH.
(11:37 AM) gallowsCalibrator: W41T WH4T
1 DONT W4NT TO B3FR13ND TH1S
(11:38 AM) gallowsCalibrator: TH1S P1T1FUL 3XCUS3 FOR 4 HUM4N
(11:38 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YOU CAN BE HATEFRIENDS.
(11:38 AM) Sean: Yeah right. I don't befriend people who insult me
(11:38 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YES YOU DO.
YOU DO.
(11:38 AM) carcinoGeneticist: A FEW MINUTES AGO FOR ME.
MAYBE LIKE.
IN A FEW HOURS FOR YOU.
(11:38 AM) Sean: Where is this proof?
(11:39 AM) gallowsCalibrator: 1 DONT H4T3FR13ND COMPL3T3 1D1OTS
(11:39 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YOUR FACE. THAT'S THE PROOF.
(11:39 AM) Sean: You two are terrible trolls
I am hardly annoyed here
(11:40 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YEAH. WELL. YOU'RE A TERRIBLE HUMAN.
HOW DOES THAT FEEL HUH?
(11:40 AM) gallowsCalibrator: W3LL YOU 4R3 4 T3RR1BL3 HUM4N SO 1T 4LL- D4MM1T M4N
(11:40 AM) carcinoGeneticist: THE EMOTION OF LOVE HAS CONNECTED OUR BRAINS REMEMBER?
TELL ME YOU HUMANS AT LEAST HAVE GOTTEN THAT FAR?
(11:41 AM) Sean: What are you talking about. What does love have to do with any of this?
(11:41 AM) gallowsCalibrator: 3V3N 1F TH3Y UND3RSTOOD LOV3 1T WOULD PROB4BLY JUST CONFUS3 4ND 1NFUR14T3 TH3M
L3TS T4LK 4BOUT 1T SOM3 MOR3
(11:42 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YES. YES WE SHOULD. MAYBE THAT WILL ANNOY HIM.
YOU SEE LOVE IS A CONCEPT OF FEELING WONDERFUL ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE.
(11:42 AM) carcinoGeneticist: AS I UNDERSTAND IT HUMANS DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT YET.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO NOT KNOW HOW TO TRULY LOVE?
SILLY PATHETIC HUMAN.
(11:43 AM) gallowsCalibrator: OH W41T YOU WOULDNT 3V3N H4V3 4 CLU3 H4H4H4H4H4H
(11:43 AM) Sean: Haha oh wow, you have no idea what you are talking about
(11:44 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOU 4R3 TH3 ON3 WHO DO3S NOT KNOW WH4T H3 1S T4LK1NG 4BOUT
(11:44 AM) carcinoGeneticist: WE HAVE EVOLVED MUCH FASTER THAN YOU.
WE NO LONGER HAVE THAT SICKENING PINK SKIN.
(11:45 AM) gallowsCalibrator: P1NK SM3LLS L1K3 1CKY
(11:45 AM) carcinoGeneticist: IT DOES.
(11:45 AM) Sean: doesn' sound very healthy of you
(11:45 AM) carcinoGeneticist: IT IS A SICKENING COLOR.
(11:45 AM) carcinoGeneticist: WE ARE MORE HEALTHY THAN YOU.
WE HAVE CURED EVERY DISEASE ON OUR PLANET FOREVER.
TWICE.
(11:46 AM) Sean: Good for you
(11:46 AM) gallowsCalibrator: Y3S
GOOD FOR US
(11:47 AM) Sean: It make a bit of difference to me though
doesn't *
(11:47 AM) carcinoGeneticist: SURE. KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT.
BUT OUR AWESOME TROLLING WILL DRILL INTO THE BACK OF YOUR MIND UNTIL YOU CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
(11:48 AM) gallowsCalibrator: 4ND TH3N YOU W1LL B3G US TO H3LP YOU
4ND W3 M1GHT
(11:48 AM) Sean: I could just close the IM window and not open it up and go make a sandwich
(11:49 AM) gallowsCalibrator: 1 COULD K1LL YOU B3FOR3 YOU 3V3N M4K3 1T TO TH3 K1TCH3N
(11:49 AM) carcinoGeneticist: SHE COULD.
WITH HER MIND.
(11:49 AM) gallowsCalibrator: AND TH3N SM3LL YOUR T4STY BLOOD THROUGH MY COMPUT3R SCR33N
1T WOULD B3 D3L1C1OUS
(11:49 AM) carcinoGeneticist: BUT SHE WON'T BECAUSE SHE'S ONE OF THE NICER PEOPLE ON OUR PLANET.
(11:50 AM) carcinoGeneticist: I AM TOO.
(11:50 AM) Sean: Doesn't sound very nice
(11:50 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOU H4V3 NO 1D34 WH4T YOU 4R3 3V3N 1N FOR M4N
(11:50 AM) carcinoGeneticist: THERE ARE PEOPLE ON OUR PLANET WHO WOULD STAB YOU JUST BECAUSE IT WOULD BE FUN.
(11:51 AM) gallowsCalibrator: TH1S 1S GO1NG TO G3T SO R34L YOU WONT 3V3R W4NT TO TH1NK 4BOUT 3V3N M4K1NG 4 S4NDW1CH 4G41N
WH4T3V34 TH4T 1S
SOM3 STUP1D HUM4N FOODSTUFF
(11:52 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YES. HUMANS DON'T EVEN COMPREHEND THE SHEER STUPIDITY OF THEIR "FOOD". THEY HAVE YET TO REALIZE.
IT IS SAD REALLY.
(11:52 AM) Sean: Alright, I'm getting hungry now
(11:52 AM) gallowsCalibrator: NO YOUR3 NOT
(11:52 AM) carcinoGeneticist: WE HAVE LONG EVOLVED PAST OUR HUNGER.
(11:52 AM) gallowsCalibrator: 1 C4N SM3LL YOUR FULL STOM4CH
(11:52 AM) carcinoGeneticist: IT SMELLS HUMILIATING.
(11:52 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOU P4TH3T1C HUM4NS 4ND YOUR STOM4CHS
(11:54 AM) carcinoGeneticist: WHY HAVE YOU NOT EVOLVED PAST THE NEED OF STOMACHS?
(11:54 AM) carcinoGeneticist: DID YOU AT LEAST FIND A WAY TO TRAVEL THROUGH TIME YET?
(11:54 AM) Sean: Okay, I'm gonna go make some human food and listen to some human radio. You two have fun now.
(11:55 AM) carcinoGeneticist: OH, WE WILL. WE WILL.
(11:55 AM) gallowsCalibrator: YOU C4NT 3SC4P3 YOUR F4T3, HUM4N
YOUR T4STY F4T3
(11:55 AM) gallowsCalibrator: H3H3H3H3H3H
>8D
(11:55 AM) Sean: heheheheheh
(11:56 AM) gallowsCalibrator: H3H3H
DONT COPY MY L4UGH
(11:56 AM) Sean: heheheheheheheheh
(11:56 AM) carcinoGeneticist: HE IS MAKING FUN OF YOUR BLINDNESS.
THIS IS INFURIATING.
(11:56 AM) carcinoGeneticist: I WILL DEVOUR YOUR FLESH THROUGH YOUR SCREEN.
(11:56 AM) Sean: Don't chip a tooth
(11:57 AM) gallowsCalibrator: OH W3 WONT
(11:57 AM) Sean: SEEYA LATER TERRIBLE TROLLS
(11:57 AM) carcinoGeneticist: YOU WILL. YOU WILL SEE US LATER
(11:57 AM) gallowsCalibrator: BUT NOT MUCH L4T3R. 4T L43ST FOR US
(11:57 AM) carcinoGeneticist: I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY TALKED TO YOU LATER.
THE NEXT TIME I'M GOING TO TALK TO YOU IN MY TIME FRAME IS YOUR YESTERDAY.
(11:58 AM) gallowsCalibrator: GOD WHY WOULD YOU 3V3N GO B4CKW4RDS 1N T1M3 M4N
TH4TS JUST R1D1CULOUS
(11:58 AM) Sean has left the conversation.