I'm taking up drinking again. It's terrible, i know. I am a responsible drunk, and a closeted drunk. I live with my parents and they don't understand why i go through so many White Russians. I figure once things get better, i'll stop. Until then, you know the saying about drinking. It just numbs the pain for a while. and for that brief moment, i am ( Read more... )

I saw a falling star tonight.
I wished REALLY hard.
Sigh...
It mostly likely wasn't a falling star.

Y'know i wasn't suppose to live this long. As a small child, i never could imagine past the age of 25. Let's be clear. I never had a fatel disease. I never had cancer. I was in a fatel car accident when i was 13. Other then that, i simply thought i was going to die around 25. I dreamt of getting married, having some sort of career, maybe even a ( Read more... )

I can't help myself. I've asked for help. No one can say, "She didn't ask for help." I've asked for help from those who are in a position to give it, and they brush me off. One of these days, they're gonna need to know how to feel sorry.

       Laundry Girl

She stood by the dryer, a pair of freshly dried jeans in her hands. A soft grin was across her round face. She continued to stand, time slipping by. She couldn’t tell how long she’s been there but it felt a like a brief moment.

The front entry door slammed closed, it startled her from her day dream. The grin vanished but returned ( Read more... )

If i get married....big IF....

I want....

Giant Gummy Bears http://giantgummybears.com/index.aspx?gclid=CMCbsMWJhagCFQXu7QodjB2Brgto be served as wedding favors or part of the candy buffet.

"The Dude" from Big Lebowski to perform my wedding ceremony, if not Jeff Bridges, then a REALLY good impersonator. I am slowly becoming a Dudeist if not already. ( Read more... )

I've been getting tattoos for the last eleven years. I've never regretted getting a tattoo. I LOVE my colorful artwork, and i've met numerous tattoo artists that i had no problem with. Sure, they misunderstood me on a couple things but their work has always been clean and professional. I never felt the urgency to get something fix. Well, until now ( Read more... )

Sometimes...sigh...

I wish a had a penis. It would make masturbating SO much easier.

Now, i have to go take a cold shower because i'm to lazy to get an electric toothbrush or think of creative ways to...well you know.

It's strange that everytime i look at his picture (which is rarley), my heart races and i can barely breathe. Everytime i was with him i felt so insignificant. He made me WANT to become a better person. He was the reason why i stuck it out with French for as long as i did. Or, why a traveled so much. Or why i collected an ungodly amount of italian/ ( Read more... )

Perhaps my dreams are telling me something, though it leaves me...i don't know, unsure about it.  I know there are a thousands of ways to look into dreams, and tonight i am not going to dwell cuz i'm cranky. Bummer.

Da Dreaming...

I dream about guys. Lately it has been about Zak from "Ghost Adventures." Well, i think he's hot and in my dreams i ( Read more... )