the ups and downs : the beautiful and damned (1/2)
■ aoza's request and the prompt is this (have to read the next part which is coming soon, for it to match up with prompt)
■ since this is my otp, I took a long time rewriting/editing this over and over again. I hope it's good enough.
■ soundtrack/fanmix included at the very end
■ this is irl, during the training years up to present (by the next part, that is).
■ the characterization for Yoona is not necessary on point, I decided to change her personality a little bit.
PROLOGUE
The girl with the soft brown hair, doe eyed, cheeks rosy and cupid bow lips, effortlessly beautiful, envy of the female population - Im Yoona will always be a royal, a fallen princess with her crown taken away from her.
And just when she thought she couldn’t sink lower…
THE UPS
1ST YEAR
She’s painstakingly perfect, too jarringly beautiful, saying otherwise would be lying.
The petite girl is cruel and proud with her head held so high, most of the time, Changmin wondered if she could see where she’s heading at some point. She speaks of life as if it’s a snap of the finger and her fortune cooking with a picture perfect destiny will come on a silver platter.
Yoona’s every girl’s nightmare and every boy’s desire.
They hate to admit it but no one truly knows her.
--
Yoona was born to lead others; it’s her most valued trait (she would like to think) and a gift from god.
By her second month as a recruit of the company, she walks down the hall with desperate juniors fighting to be one to fetch her coffee (three sugars, no cream). Senior boys whistles and catcall her lewdly, she ignores but will secretly take pride in the overwhelming attention.
Scandalous whispers follow everywhere she goes, she hear her names like a sweet tune ringing against her ears - Yoona this, Yoona, that, Yoona, Yoona, Yoona. It’s all about her and all her, alone.
She merely enjoys the spotlight shining on her and the rest (all the venomous remarks, the bad mouthing, the horrible things they say when she’ snot around) don’t seem to matter.
--
It was almost as if he was haunted by the name, Im Yoona (even if he’s uninterested).
Everywhere he went, he will hear her name mentioned somewhere in the little conversations shared between the trainees.
It frustrates him because he can run but he can’t hide. Changmin could very well try but sooner or later, he won’t be able to avoid such a juicy topic of the new girl with her porcelain doll look. It was simply too hard for human like them to resist.
So when Park Yoochun bet that in a span of one week, fifteen guys will ‘tap’ that and Lee Hyukjae disagreed with a bigger number of twenty five would be more suited for a goddess as Yoona.
Changmin no longer find it appallingly rude of his friends to bet on such an idiotic thing.
He did just the opposite and placed his bet on Hyunkjae’s parade of twenty five men prediction.
--
There is no such thing as rules, Yoona believe.
Rules are there for you to break, not to obey - that would just be awfully dull to live a life by a set of instruction to follows.
Her hair is always loose on her shoulders, messy curls flail everywhere. Shirt is always left untuck, gaining some dirty looks from the trainers when coming to training after school. Skirt is short enough to get some raise brows and long enough to not be called filthy names.
Lee Yeohee is the princess in the little kingdom of SM. And she plans to knock the tiara right out of her perfect little head.
If she was Yeohee, she would be careful because Yoona always gets what she wants.
--
Jessica tells him, she’s ‘hot stuff’ right now, taking Yeohee’s position as the most popular girl there ever is amongst the SM’s trainees Everyone wants a piece of the new doe-eyed girl in his ball room class.
It’s only natural; after all, she’s like the shiny new toy.
“She’s a natural,” Jessica commented while stretching, her eyes glued to the younger girl practicing the steps on the other end of the room.
“The girl’s got the full package, doesn’t she?”
--
Sometime in the spring, as the queen of the world and also, an exceptional trainee of the agency, she discovered a wildly challenging, complicated, mind puzzling, mystery and she’s been trying to find closure ever since.
“Kibum told me to give you this,” he carelessly threw her the jacket she worn on the previous night. “He had to leave early.”
Yoona doesn’t recall his name, once she got a clearer look at his face. She only remembers the ridiculously tall height and the onyx black eyes. Positive - he’s friendly with a girl in her followers’ troops.
“How rude of him, not to wait around and get you to do his dirty work instead.” She said crisply, her fingers rubbing at the denim material as she inspects every inch of the clothing. “That date last night might just be a waste of my time afte -”
“It’s not his intention to leave you hanging”
And for the first time, someone leaves Im Yoona hanging before she could herself.
--
A week later and she goes around questioning others for his name (as a favour, they keep their lips sealed).
Changmin doesn’t want anything to do with her. He doesn’t want to know her, he doesn’t want to talk to her, he doesn’t want to look at her. He prefers to keep in the shadow and out of her light.
--
“Why won’t you tell me your name?”
She’s paired up with him in ball room class, Yoona doesn’t see why she can’t take advantage of the situation.
His grips tightens on her hand as he twirls her around in a dizzy circle, she hears his raspy whisper when he pulls her against him in one swift moment, “I don’t see the need for you to know.”
“I went through an awful lot of trouble to find out who you are.” She said in as a matter of fact voice, feeling her inside boiling up with his cold response.
Receiving a silent treatment, Yoona clears her throat as she continues, “Would you have told me if I had asked you personally?”
“You know who I am now, don’t you?”
“Yes b -“
“Then who am I?”
“That’s not the point, Shim Changmin.”
“Good, you got what you were looking for. There’s nothing more for us to talk about.”
For the first time in her life, Yoona was speechless.
--
He’s debuting in a 5 membered all-male group (name still undecided) by the end of next year.
Yoona decides to stop being bitter about it. About his success. About his group. About Changmin.
2ND YEAR
The atmosphere at SM is light and lively after the break. Girls run around with big cheesy smile and kissed each other’s cheeks. While boys exchange animal-like hugs and play a game of balls as a greeting.
She doesn’t have the time to fool around; the usual cup of coffee comes exactly ten minutes before the first training session, changed into the usual sweat pants and ready to start a fresh day of hard work.
No one gets it easy, so Yoona works hard for her happy ending.
--
Changmin fractured a bone in his ankle.
He catches her sneaking a worried glance when he falls to the ground in one, earth shattering ‘thud’ before going back to stretching.
“Are you alright?” She doesn’t look at him when she questions, she’s too busy refilling her water bottle. “Your ankle, I mean.”
He leant against the wall for support, giving a short response, “Fractured bone”
“I hope you recover soon.”
A quiet tension built between them for the next few days. Changmin misses the days when Yoona didn’t take notice of his existence.
--
Yoona sees her followers quickly hiding the packet of chips under their jackets.
She gives them her opinion on their shameful act (the weighs you’re going to gain) then proceeds to banning them from sitting at the same table as her during breaks.
They later approached her, all huddled up in fear when they tell her, “We’ll try harder to be like you, Yoona.”
She grimaced and dismissed them, satisfied with the outcome.
Perfection might not be achievable but she’s the closest thing, one will ever get.
--
“Do you know her?”
Cho Kyuhyun asked one afternoon when they’re going over the lyrics, Changmin tries to find an appropriate answer to his question.
“I know of her,” he explained, careful not to glance at her usual table. “But I don’t know her; she’s just another one of those girls if you ask me.”
“What do you think of her?”
“Like I told you, I don’t know her.”
“Do you think she’s horrible as some say?”
“I wouldn’t know”
“Or just wrongly judged?”
Some part of him desperately wants to say yes.
--
Half way through the year, she met Choi Sooyoung. Sooyoung’s nothing like her, she eats too much, she smiles too much, she laughs too much - she’s too light hearted, her personality is so bright, it’s blinding at some point.
Yoona enjoys her company immensely.
Sooyoung’s somewhat of an escape from reality.
She talks like a child and often speaks about life as if it was a story book.
Sometime in the night, they would hide under the cover with a flash light and discuss the many ways they will be the biggest thing that ever hit South Korea.
--
Library is his only escape, books are his saviour.
And so Shim Changmin spends majority of his time with his head on the cold wood table and fingers occasionally rubbing against the old, brown paper of a Stephen King’s novels.
He could hear her pretend giggles from miles away, the door swung closed and it stopped, leaving only the calming silence and page 264 of The Shining.
“Don’t you get frighten in the night reading these kind of books?”
“There’s nothing to get frighten over.”
“Of course, there is” She said quickly as she swiftly pulled out the chair besides his. “All those things Danny sees at the hotel, creepy is an understatement.” Yoona made a face, her breath on his neck when leaning over his shoulder to see the page. “Can you hold the book up a little? I can’t see, you’re too…tall for your own good, do you know that?”
“What is it?” He pleaded, ignoring the look of confusion that has wash over her face. “What’s messing with your mind, Yoona?”
“Nothing” Her voice raised a pitch higher than usual in denial. “Can’t a girl just - just enjoy a quiet day in the library with a book?”
“Yoona”
“Changmin”
She pouts and he sighs.
“I need a distraction”
And they’ve reach an understanding.
--
The next time she sees Changmin, he’s happy - not the superficial type to show superficial happiness but truly, so very, happy. He’s sitting with a couple of other guys, her seniors, some that she had a fling with.
“Yoona”
“Yoona”
“Yoon - a!”
Sooyoung shouted and she was brought back to the real world.
“What are you looking at?” She asks, poking the oily sausage with her fork. “I’ve never seen you so distracted.”
Yoona takes a brief moment to consider her options before murmuring the sinful name, “Shim Changmin”
She hears Sooyoung choke on her drink then break out in loud laughter, drawing much attention to themselves. “Why on earth are you ogling at Shim Changmin?”
“He’s happy - I’m curious with what or who made him smile that much.”
Sooyoung lips twisted into a Cheshire cat like smile as she says, “Curiosity killed the cat, do remember that.”
--
“Hi, I’m Qian and you’re Yoona, right?”
Yoona’s cold as ever, she doesn’t smile nor does she frown. She only stares at Qian’s extended hand with an unreadable expression, not making the slightest move to accept her polite gesture in anyway.
“Curiosity does killed the cat after all”
She walks away and Changmin wonders why he feels the urge to run after her.
--
Qian, Victoria, Qian, Victoria - is only average.
Average face, average talent, average smile, average intelligence.
He’s an average too, so they match - belong together in their average world and an average, purely ordinary relationship that last an average of six months.
It’s been a week since she’s been following him around like a lost puppy. Yoona’s impress and slightly appalled by the extent the girl is willing to go for Changmin’s affection. Desperate but courageous, she respects that.
“Is Changmin around?” Her smile is sugar coated as she asked innocently.
Yoona fake a genuine smile, slinging the bag over her shoulder as she replied primly, “He’s practicing but he’ll be done in a b -“
“Qian!”
He lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees Qian. Changmin turns into an unknown stranger, a completely different person with the biggest smile, she had ever seen.
For the first time in her life, Yoona feels invisible.
--
“If you're curious, I'm not dating, Qian.”
He blurts out one evening when they’re sitting in the library in complete silence, Yoona scribbling equations in her notebook and Changmin reading one of his horror books.
“Okay” her voice is soft, but firm. “Okay”
Somehow, Changmin’s heart feels the lightest it has been in weeks.
--
Yoona sees the camera focus on him when he sings his part of the sugary pop songs.
He’s no longer Shim Changmin but Max - Choikang Changmin.
Everything will change now.
3RD YEAR
Another year, same old story.
Yoona still rule over the female population of the SM’s trainees.
She continues to amuse herself with the new group of hopeful girls, desperate to make it into her clique by tormenting them, pushing and pulling them until they eventually break and burst into tears. Sooyoung doesn’t say a thing but she sees the disapproving look in her eyes.
Yoona considers it a test, only the strongest ones can join her and the weaks fail.
Nobody ever told her being at the top could get so lonely.
What’s a queen without a king?
--
Park Yoochun is smarmy jack ass without any redeeming qualities - full of cheesy lines and bad boy charms, he finally understands why girls are giggly when he utter a syllable.
Jung Yunho is all about work. He stresses most of the time, worrying about this and that, never taking a breather because ‘the team (the rest of them) comes before he does’. He’s selfless - it’s his only flaw and at the same time Changmin admires that about him.
Kim Jaejoong, despite being a first grade ass, surprisingly has some redeeming qualities of his own. His voice is one of the best Changmin ever had the pleasure of hearing. He’s got a good sense of humour (though talks to the point of driving him insane). They become close after two months of sneering at each other every second of the day - Kim Jaejoong think of him as a brother and the feeling in mutual.
Kim Junsu unfortunately, has the most annoying laughs. It’s sharp and cringe worthy, resembling the sound dolphin makes when they’re feeling joyful. His jokes aren’t the least bit humorous (and sometime can be very offending). Despite all that, the group is not complete without his ear candy vocal.
The five of them not only became each other's comfort.
They became a family.
--
“Oh - it’s you” she said with her brows knit together, a half full can of beer in her hand. “What are you doing here so late at night?”
It’s been a month since she last got a glimpse of him. If one didn’t tell her, she would have thought he had fallen off the face of earth or die from exhaustion.
“Practice” He replies in a clipped tone. “What’s your excuse?”
Yoona laughs hysterically, throwing her head back with her mouth gape open in a big, unlady-like ‘O’ shape. “I don’t need an excuse to celebrate my birthday, do I?” The words sounds bitter to her ears, she wonders why, when it’s such a wonderful day.
“Happy Birthday, Yoona.”
“You’re a minute too late for that, Changmin - it’s one minute past midnight.”
She throws the can of beer at him and wishes, she could do much worse to hurt him (like he's hurting her).
-
Changmin begins trailing a few steps after her in the halls one Friday morning, watching as she goes in and out of rooms, heads out for walk in the garden, sweet talking her possies, gossiping with Choi Sooyoung. She giggles an unnatural amount today, smiles awfully too much and he busies his mind with the possible reasons of why she’s acting as such.
“Lee Donghae”
Yoona sighs dreamily to Sooyoung and he gets his answer.
Changmin decided that he doesn’t care so there won’t be any reason for him to intervene with her love life.
--
Lee Donghae is everything she ever hoped for in a guy.
He’s got the best smile, the most adorable laugh, the funniest jokes and is a man with a social skills to match her. Yoona sees him and he spells ‘perfection’ wrapped up in one with a pretty bow. She couldn’t believe her luck.
Donghae brings her tiny bouquets of colorful blossoms - daisies and bluebells and white roses. He carries her bags from class to class and waits by her locker after school to walk her home and never protests when she wants to pick out what he wears to parties or social events.
Two short months passed, he made it official and Yoona mistaken her life for a black and white film.
--
“You, young man, miss her.” Yoochun’s the first to say it out loud, he props his foot up on the coffee table and shouts it to the world.
Changmin drops the plate in his hand, watching as it shatters into little pieces (like his heart) with a loud groan.
“You’re not funny” Changmin says pointedly, glaring at him from the corner of his eyes.
“Um…yeah, it’s not supposed to be.” Yoochun quipped back wittily, grabbing Junsu’s football magazine and flipping through it, uninterested. “What’s funny about a guy going after a girl out of his league?”
“I don’t miss her.”
“Sure you do,” The older boy replies in a lightning fast, almost as if he was expecting Changmin to say what he said. “I remember the time when my taste in woman was bad enough for me to actually find her attractive. She’s…too pretty, it bores me.”
He couldn’t help but gulp as he bent down to pick up the pieces of the plate. “I barely know her.”
He rolls his eyes, flouncing off, “We can argue all day but you’re fooling no one, you miss having her around.”
--
“Hello”
Yoona greets him primly for the first time in four months.
“Hello”
Their hello sounds like a start of a good bye.
--
Upholding the expectation, she starts (seriously) dating Lee Donghae - the golden boys, the only one that is good enough for a queen, a king.
They match well.
--
It turns out, she is just what they look for in a cover girl.
She arrives at the set one hour early to get her hair and makeup done. The camera man smiles at her adoringly, clasping his hand together in delight and mouthing ‘gorgeous’ once she sits down in the wooden chair prepared especially for her.
She crosses and uncrosses her leg for an entire two hours, smiling at the camera in all different angles like she was told.
After the shoot is done, they let her see the pictures - she’s horrified, she cries and screams and throws and rips the faces in the images into shreds.
Yoona fails to recognize the girl in the pictures.
--
Changmin sees her walking down the hall, hugging her bag to her chest and mascara smudged all over her face.
He doesn’t approach her nor does he say a word, he stood still and watches until she disappears out the door. For the first time, he admits to himself that he might be missing the company of a certain, doe-eyed girl with her spoiled attitude.
--
Im Yoona does something so unexpected it changes every perception of her: The queen dethroned herself.
tbc....
THE UPS : THE BEAUTIFUL
. a beautiful mess - jason mraz you are strong but you're needy, humble but you're greedy
ii. doll parts - holesi want to be the girl with the most cake ~ i fake it so true, i am beyond fake
iii. strange and beautiful - aqualung i've been watching your world from afar, i've been trying to be where you are.
iv. she's not there - the zombies her eyes were soft and cool, her eyes were clear and bright but she's not there.
v. strangers - the dirty secrets you can never pretend, don't try to defend it.
vi. queen of the world - ida maria whiskey please ~ so bring me consciousness and kill my innocence.
DOWNLOAD
5 songs/ 36.01 MB / mediafire
■ since this is my otp, I took a long time rewriting/editing this over and over again. I hope it's good enough.
■ soundtrack/fanmix included at the very end
■ this is irl, during the training years up to present (by the next part, that is).
■ the characterization for Yoona is not necessary on point, I decided to change her personality a little bit.
PROLOGUE
The girl with the soft brown hair, doe eyed, cheeks rosy and cupid bow lips, effortlessly beautiful, envy of the female population - Im Yoona will always be a royal, a fallen princess with her crown taken away from her.
And just when she thought she couldn’t sink lower…
THE UPS
1ST YEAR
She’s painstakingly perfect, too jarringly beautiful, saying otherwise would be lying.
The petite girl is cruel and proud with her head held so high, most of the time, Changmin wondered if she could see where she’s heading at some point. She speaks of life as if it’s a snap of the finger and her fortune cooking with a picture perfect destiny will come on a silver platter.
Yoona’s every girl’s nightmare and every boy’s desire.
They hate to admit it but no one truly knows her.
--
Yoona was born to lead others; it’s her most valued trait (she would like to think) and a gift from god.
By her second month as a recruit of the company, she walks down the hall with desperate juniors fighting to be one to fetch her coffee (three sugars, no cream). Senior boys whistles and catcall her lewdly, she ignores but will secretly take pride in the overwhelming attention.
Scandalous whispers follow everywhere she goes, she hear her names like a sweet tune ringing against her ears - Yoona this, Yoona, that, Yoona, Yoona, Yoona. It’s all about her and all her, alone.
She merely enjoys the spotlight shining on her and the rest (all the venomous remarks, the bad mouthing, the horrible things they say when she’ snot around) don’t seem to matter.
--
It was almost as if he was haunted by the name, Im Yoona (even if he’s uninterested).
Everywhere he went, he will hear her name mentioned somewhere in the little conversations shared between the trainees.
It frustrates him because he can run but he can’t hide. Changmin could very well try but sooner or later, he won’t be able to avoid such a juicy topic of the new girl with her porcelain doll look. It was simply too hard for human like them to resist.
So when Park Yoochun bet that in a span of one week, fifteen guys will ‘tap’ that and Lee Hyukjae disagreed with a bigger number of twenty five would be more suited for a goddess as Yoona.
Changmin no longer find it appallingly rude of his friends to bet on such an idiotic thing.
He did just the opposite and placed his bet on Hyunkjae’s parade of twenty five men prediction.
--
There is no such thing as rules, Yoona believe.
Rules are there for you to break, not to obey - that would just be awfully dull to live a life by a set of instruction to follows.
Her hair is always loose on her shoulders, messy curls flail everywhere. Shirt is always left untuck, gaining some dirty looks from the trainers when coming to training after school. Skirt is short enough to get some raise brows and long enough to not be called filthy names.
Lee Yeohee is the princess in the little kingdom of SM. And she plans to knock the tiara right out of her perfect little head.
If she was Yeohee, she would be careful because Yoona always gets what she wants.
--
Jessica tells him, she’s ‘hot stuff’ right now, taking Yeohee’s position as the most popular girl there ever is amongst the SM’s trainees Everyone wants a piece of the new doe-eyed girl in his ball room class.
It’s only natural; after all, she’s like the shiny new toy.
“She’s a natural,” Jessica commented while stretching, her eyes glued to the younger girl practicing the steps on the other end of the room.
“The girl’s got the full package, doesn’t she?”
--
Sometime in the spring, as the queen of the world and also, an exceptional trainee of the agency, she discovered a wildly challenging, complicated, mind puzzling, mystery and she’s been trying to find closure ever since.
“Kibum told me to give you this,” he carelessly threw her the jacket she worn on the previous night. “He had to leave early.”
Yoona doesn’t recall his name, once she got a clearer look at his face. She only remembers the ridiculously tall height and the onyx black eyes. Positive - he’s friendly with a girl in her followers’ troops.
“How rude of him, not to wait around and get you to do his dirty work instead.” She said crisply, her fingers rubbing at the denim material as she inspects every inch of the clothing. “That date last night might just be a waste of my time afte -”
“It’s not his intention to leave you hanging”
And for the first time, someone leaves Im Yoona hanging before she could herself.
--
A week later and she goes around questioning others for his name (as a favour, they keep their lips sealed).
Changmin doesn’t want anything to do with her. He doesn’t want to know her, he doesn’t want to talk to her, he doesn’t want to look at her. He prefers to keep in the shadow and out of her light.
--
“Why won’t you tell me your name?”
She’s paired up with him in ball room class, Yoona doesn’t see why she can’t take advantage of the situation.
His grips tightens on her hand as he twirls her around in a dizzy circle, she hears his raspy whisper when he pulls her against him in one swift moment, “I don’t see the need for you to know.”
“I went through an awful lot of trouble to find out who you are.” She said in as a matter of fact voice, feeling her inside boiling up with his cold response.
Receiving a silent treatment, Yoona clears her throat as she continues, “Would you have told me if I had asked you personally?”
“You know who I am now, don’t you?”
“Yes b -“
“Then who am I?”
“That’s not the point, Shim Changmin.”
“Good, you got what you were looking for. There’s nothing more for us to talk about.”
For the first time in her life, Yoona was speechless.
--
He’s debuting in a 5 membered all-male group (name still undecided) by the end of next year.
Yoona decides to stop being bitter about it. About his success. About his group. About Changmin.
2ND YEAR
The atmosphere at SM is light and lively after the break. Girls run around with big cheesy smile and kissed each other’s cheeks. While boys exchange animal-like hugs and play a game of balls as a greeting.
She doesn’t have the time to fool around; the usual cup of coffee comes exactly ten minutes before the first training session, changed into the usual sweat pants and ready to start a fresh day of hard work.
No one gets it easy, so Yoona works hard for her happy ending.
--
Changmin fractured a bone in his ankle.
He catches her sneaking a worried glance when he falls to the ground in one, earth shattering ‘thud’ before going back to stretching.
“Are you alright?” She doesn’t look at him when she questions, she’s too busy refilling her water bottle. “Your ankle, I mean.”
He leant against the wall for support, giving a short response, “Fractured bone”
“I hope you recover soon.”
A quiet tension built between them for the next few days. Changmin misses the days when Yoona didn’t take notice of his existence.
--
Yoona sees her followers quickly hiding the packet of chips under their jackets.
She gives them her opinion on their shameful act (the weighs you’re going to gain) then proceeds to banning them from sitting at the same table as her during breaks.
They later approached her, all huddled up in fear when they tell her, “We’ll try harder to be like you, Yoona.”
She grimaced and dismissed them, satisfied with the outcome.
Perfection might not be achievable but she’s the closest thing, one will ever get.
--
“Do you know her?”
Cho Kyuhyun asked one afternoon when they’re going over the lyrics, Changmin tries to find an appropriate answer to his question.
“I know of her,” he explained, careful not to glance at her usual table. “But I don’t know her; she’s just another one of those girls if you ask me.”
“What do you think of her?”
“Like I told you, I don’t know her.”
“Do you think she’s horrible as some say?”
“I wouldn’t know”
“Or just wrongly judged?”
Some part of him desperately wants to say yes.
--
Half way through the year, she met Choi Sooyoung. Sooyoung’s nothing like her, she eats too much, she smiles too much, she laughs too much - she’s too light hearted, her personality is so bright, it’s blinding at some point.
Yoona enjoys her company immensely.
Sooyoung’s somewhat of an escape from reality.
She talks like a child and often speaks about life as if it was a story book.
Sometime in the night, they would hide under the cover with a flash light and discuss the many ways they will be the biggest thing that ever hit South Korea.
--
Library is his only escape, books are his saviour.
And so Shim Changmin spends majority of his time with his head on the cold wood table and fingers occasionally rubbing against the old, brown paper of a Stephen King’s novels.
He could hear her pretend giggles from miles away, the door swung closed and it stopped, leaving only the calming silence and page 264 of The Shining.
“Don’t you get frighten in the night reading these kind of books?”
“There’s nothing to get frighten over.”
“Of course, there is” She said quickly as she swiftly pulled out the chair besides his. “All those things Danny sees at the hotel, creepy is an understatement.” Yoona made a face, her breath on his neck when leaning over his shoulder to see the page. “Can you hold the book up a little? I can’t see, you’re too…tall for your own good, do you know that?”
“What is it?” He pleaded, ignoring the look of confusion that has wash over her face. “What’s messing with your mind, Yoona?”
“Nothing” Her voice raised a pitch higher than usual in denial. “Can’t a girl just - just enjoy a quiet day in the library with a book?”
“Yoona”
“Changmin”
She pouts and he sighs.
“I need a distraction”
And they’ve reach an understanding.
--
The next time she sees Changmin, he’s happy - not the superficial type to show superficial happiness but truly, so very, happy. He’s sitting with a couple of other guys, her seniors, some that she had a fling with.
“Yoona”
“Yoona”
“Yoon - a!”
Sooyoung shouted and she was brought back to the real world.
“What are you looking at?” She asks, poking the oily sausage with her fork. “I’ve never seen you so distracted.”
Yoona takes a brief moment to consider her options before murmuring the sinful name, “Shim Changmin”
She hears Sooyoung choke on her drink then break out in loud laughter, drawing much attention to themselves. “Why on earth are you ogling at Shim Changmin?”
“He’s happy - I’m curious with what or who made him smile that much.”
Sooyoung lips twisted into a Cheshire cat like smile as she says, “Curiosity killed the cat, do remember that.”
--
“Hi, I’m Qian and you’re Yoona, right?”
Yoona’s cold as ever, she doesn’t smile nor does she frown. She only stares at Qian’s extended hand with an unreadable expression, not making the slightest move to accept her polite gesture in anyway.
“Curiosity does killed the cat after all”
She walks away and Changmin wonders why he feels the urge to run after her.
--
Qian, Victoria, Qian, Victoria - is only average.
Average face, average talent, average smile, average intelligence.
He’s an average too, so they match - belong together in their average world and an average, purely ordinary relationship that last an average of six months.
It’s been a week since she’s been following him around like a lost puppy. Yoona’s impress and slightly appalled by the extent the girl is willing to go for Changmin’s affection. Desperate but courageous, she respects that.
“Is Changmin around?” Her smile is sugar coated as she asked innocently.
Yoona fake a genuine smile, slinging the bag over her shoulder as she replied primly, “He’s practicing but he’ll be done in a b -“
“Qian!”
He lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees Qian. Changmin turns into an unknown stranger, a completely different person with the biggest smile, she had ever seen.
For the first time in her life, Yoona feels invisible.
--
“If you're curious, I'm not dating, Qian.”
He blurts out one evening when they’re sitting in the library in complete silence, Yoona scribbling equations in her notebook and Changmin reading one of his horror books.
“Okay” her voice is soft, but firm. “Okay”
Somehow, Changmin’s heart feels the lightest it has been in weeks.
--
Yoona sees the camera focus on him when he sings his part of the sugary pop songs.
He’s no longer Shim Changmin but Max - Choikang Changmin.
Everything will change now.
3RD YEAR
Another year, same old story.
Yoona still rule over the female population of the SM’s trainees.
She continues to amuse herself with the new group of hopeful girls, desperate to make it into her clique by tormenting them, pushing and pulling them until they eventually break and burst into tears. Sooyoung doesn’t say a thing but she sees the disapproving look in her eyes.
Yoona considers it a test, only the strongest ones can join her and the weaks fail.
Nobody ever told her being at the top could get so lonely.
What’s a queen without a king?
--
Park Yoochun is smarmy jack ass without any redeeming qualities - full of cheesy lines and bad boy charms, he finally understands why girls are giggly when he utter a syllable.
Jung Yunho is all about work. He stresses most of the time, worrying about this and that, never taking a breather because ‘the team (the rest of them) comes before he does’. He’s selfless - it’s his only flaw and at the same time Changmin admires that about him.
Kim Jaejoong, despite being a first grade ass, surprisingly has some redeeming qualities of his own. His voice is one of the best Changmin ever had the pleasure of hearing. He’s got a good sense of humour (though talks to the point of driving him insane). They become close after two months of sneering at each other every second of the day - Kim Jaejoong think of him as a brother and the feeling in mutual.
Kim Junsu unfortunately, has the most annoying laughs. It’s sharp and cringe worthy, resembling the sound dolphin makes when they’re feeling joyful. His jokes aren’t the least bit humorous (and sometime can be very offending). Despite all that, the group is not complete without his ear candy vocal.
The five of them not only became each other's comfort.
They became a family.
--
“Oh - it’s you” she said with her brows knit together, a half full can of beer in her hand. “What are you doing here so late at night?”
It’s been a month since she last got a glimpse of him. If one didn’t tell her, she would have thought he had fallen off the face of earth or die from exhaustion.
“Practice” He replies in a clipped tone. “What’s your excuse?”
Yoona laughs hysterically, throwing her head back with her mouth gape open in a big, unlady-like ‘O’ shape. “I don’t need an excuse to celebrate my birthday, do I?” The words sounds bitter to her ears, she wonders why, when it’s such a wonderful day.
“Happy Birthday, Yoona.”
“You’re a minute too late for that, Changmin - it’s one minute past midnight.”
She throws the can of beer at him and wishes, she could do much worse to hurt him (like he's hurting her).
-
Changmin begins trailing a few steps after her in the halls one Friday morning, watching as she goes in and out of rooms, heads out for walk in the garden, sweet talking her possies, gossiping with Choi Sooyoung. She giggles an unnatural amount today, smiles awfully too much and he busies his mind with the possible reasons of why she’s acting as such.
“Lee Donghae”
Yoona sighs dreamily to Sooyoung and he gets his answer.
Changmin decided that he doesn’t care so there won’t be any reason for him to intervene with her love life.
--
Lee Donghae is everything she ever hoped for in a guy.
He’s got the best smile, the most adorable laugh, the funniest jokes and is a man with a social skills to match her. Yoona sees him and he spells ‘perfection’ wrapped up in one with a pretty bow. She couldn’t believe her luck.
Donghae brings her tiny bouquets of colorful blossoms - daisies and bluebells and white roses. He carries her bags from class to class and waits by her locker after school to walk her home and never protests when she wants to pick out what he wears to parties or social events.
Two short months passed, he made it official and Yoona mistaken her life for a black and white film.
--
“You, young man, miss her.” Yoochun’s the first to say it out loud, he props his foot up on the coffee table and shouts it to the world.
Changmin drops the plate in his hand, watching as it shatters into little pieces (like his heart) with a loud groan.
“You’re not funny” Changmin says pointedly, glaring at him from the corner of his eyes.
“Um…yeah, it’s not supposed to be.” Yoochun quipped back wittily, grabbing Junsu’s football magazine and flipping through it, uninterested. “What’s funny about a guy going after a girl out of his league?”
“I don’t miss her.”
“Sure you do,” The older boy replies in a lightning fast, almost as if he was expecting Changmin to say what he said. “I remember the time when my taste in woman was bad enough for me to actually find her attractive. She’s…too pretty, it bores me.”
He couldn’t help but gulp as he bent down to pick up the pieces of the plate. “I barely know her.”
He rolls his eyes, flouncing off, “We can argue all day but you’re fooling no one, you miss having her around.”
--
“Hello”
Yoona greets him primly for the first time in four months.
“Hello”
Their hello sounds like a start of a good bye.
--
Upholding the expectation, she starts (seriously) dating Lee Donghae - the golden boys, the only one that is good enough for a queen, a king.
They match well.
--
It turns out, she is just what they look for in a cover girl.
She arrives at the set one hour early to get her hair and makeup done. The camera man smiles at her adoringly, clasping his hand together in delight and mouthing ‘gorgeous’ once she sits down in the wooden chair prepared especially for her.
She crosses and uncrosses her leg for an entire two hours, smiling at the camera in all different angles like she was told.
After the shoot is done, they let her see the pictures - she’s horrified, she cries and screams and throws and rips the faces in the images into shreds.
Yoona fails to recognize the girl in the pictures.
--
Changmin sees her walking down the hall, hugging her bag to her chest and mascara smudged all over her face.
He doesn’t approach her nor does he say a word, he stood still and watches until she disappears out the door. For the first time, he admits to himself that he might be missing the company of a certain, doe-eyed girl with her spoiled attitude.
--
Im Yoona does something so unexpected it changes every perception of her: The queen dethroned herself.
tbc....
THE UPS : THE BEAUTIFUL
. a beautiful mess - jason mraz you are strong but you're needy, humble but you're greedy
ii. doll parts - holesi want to be the girl with the most cake ~ i fake it so true, i am beyond fake
iii. strange and beautiful - aqualung i've been watching your world from afar, i've been trying to be where you are.
iv. she's not there - the zombies her eyes were soft and cool, her eyes were clear and bright but she's not there.
v. strangers - the dirty secrets you can never pretend, don't try to defend it.
vi. queen of the world - ida maria whiskey please ~ so bring me consciousness and kill my innocence.
DOWNLOAD
5 songs/ 36.01 MB / mediafire