let's play house (1/3)
let's play house (1/3)
~ 4190 w, pg13, (nana/jaejoong) - heirs AU, faux cest (think rachel/young do)
she could have been the girl with his hands on her thigh, ass, hips, waist, neck - all over.
■ dedicating this to all jaenana shippers, esp. my dear writer friends harues and uljima
■ desperately trying to justice for the rachel/young do ship on heirs because HOW DID THEY NOT END UP TOGETHER WHEN THEY HAD THAT MUCH EYE SEX?!
■ it won't take long for me to post part 2 cause I'm too excited for my own good :P
■ mini soundtrack thingy at the end of post
There are many ways one can describe Kim Jaejoong - so they do back two summers ago when he returns to the Jung’s family extravaganza of a garden party with mussed hair, crimson lip stick stains on white collar and missing a tie and they do so at the pretend gala ball hosted by the Shim’s when he takes a group of junior boys into the garage with a bag of what is rumoured to be an illegal substance and they continue with their words when the fire alarm went off during last semester’s exam and the culprit remains unfound and they do so yet again, at this very moment, when her mother and his father smiles for the sea of news reporters.
Only this time, Im Nana is synonymous with his adjectives.
His stare from across the room is plain dirty - just like him.
-
She flees to Tokyo for five days - no goodbyes, no discussions or confrontation.
Only twenty minutes of stunned silence before a call to book the next flight from Seoul. In fact, her return is only due to cancelled credit cards, all seven of them, including two debit because a mother knows her daughter well and her weakness better. A ticket is sent over to the concierge on Friday evening, the flight back is due next morning and her rebellion is punished with a return journey on economy class.
Nana admittedly nearly shed tears when she buckles her seat belt for take-off.
Precisely at half past twelve, after a detour of duty free, she finally surrenders, put on her recently purchased pair of Moschino heels and click clack out the terminal gate and into the much dreaded arrival area, stopping right under the ‘Welcome to Seoul’ sign to admire the unfortunate choice of font color.
It’s only when Nana makes a turn that she walks into the real night mare.
“Well, well, aren’t we fashionably late today?”
All she knows is her fashionable shoes have gone to hell to keep him company.
-
Jaejoong sits in his freshly pressed suit, knot of his tie pulled down to the same level of the accidentally-on-purpose unbuttoned collar of his crisp, white shirt and dirty blonde hair perfectly slicked back. A fork in hand and knife in the other, he cuts the steak into perfect slices; not too thick and not to thin but instead of devouring it, he devours her with his eyes from across the table and she wishes he wouldn’t.
“So, Nana,” Mister Kim or Woobin as he tells her to call him, coughs, clearing his throat in hope of also clearing the uneasiness and fails miserable, “Did you have a nice time in Tokyo? I hope my son was in his best behaviour when he picked you up.”
“I assure you that she had the best of times, father,” he drawls, lips curling into a smirk that could only belong to a devil, “I took sister on a nice, long ride.”
The dropping of the cutlery by his father is followed by hurried gulps of wine her mother takes and Nana grips the hem of her dress so hard she thinks it might rip. He’s easy on the food but not the table conversations.
“Oh yes,” Nana offers in pretend agreement, nodding a little too much, “Oppa took me for a ride, too bad we were done before we could get anywhere good.”
“Nana!” Mother scolds in a hushed voice, eyes wide and disbelieving at what had just escaped her daughter’s mouth.
She blinks, an eerily innocent smile splashed across her face. “Yes, mother?”
Woobin looks positively outraged at his son’s previous comment and even more so now after she had added her two cents. He’s a man of bad temper so they say - maybe so bad that it could even rival her mother and maybe that’s why they are marrying each other. Maybe they’ll be at each other’s throat when they have a row. Maybe.
Jaejoong, however, is more amused than anything. His arms are folded against his chest and his back resting on the back arching onto the back of the chair; almost as if he has backed down to commend her for her snipe remark in response to his own.
Finally, Nana announces, “If you’ll excuse me, I’m rather full now.” With that she rises to her feet, pushing her hair and in the process of her departure, she says her last farewell, “But we should do this again sometime.”
-
It happens on the third night after given no choice but to move into the Kim’s residence with Nana descending down the stairwell for a late night mug of hot chocolate in hope that it will lull her to sleep and Jaejoong, hiding in the shadows of the night when he takes advantage of her oblivion to pull her into the darkness with him.
“Shh” he coos into her ears, his palm flying over her mouth before she could make any noise to protest.
And she feels it.
Every single little nerves in her body has come undone - a flicker of flame that becomes a fire so wild it washes through her like a heat wave of unbearable summers. So her head lolls back with a sharp intake of breath, needing so much for a gasp of air to invade her senses to cleanse the sinful spark that’s electrifying from head to toe. He retreats from her and so do his limbs; they all return the freshly painted walls his eyes see right through, roaming over the living room where Mister Kim coincidentally is lounging around in.
Nana waits for the mocking chuckle to come but it doesn’t. She waits for sarcasm and that leaves her too. She relies on an angry outburst only to realize she’s swallowed them whole.
“You could have gotten oppa in a lot of trouble there,” he swivels around with a wolfish smile, releasing a puff of breath she assumes he had been holding, “Isn’t it pass your bed time already?”
“I don’t have one,” she sputters out absently, feeling nowhere as dignified as she sounds.
His brow creased in surprise, not looking very convinced with her claim but let it go either way. “Cute PJs.”
“Whatever,” she mumbles, feeling her cheeks burn and is suddenly appreciative for the lack of lighting around the mansion, “Now, can you move out of my way?
“Nope,” he says all too quickly, emphasizing the ‘p’ with a smug grin, “I’ll consider it if you tell me where you’re going though.”
With an incredulous scoff, Nana decides with finality that all this continuing nonsense; especially with Kim Jaejong of all people, isn’t worth a grain of her energy - not tonight, not in the next week and not ever. Giving him one last look of sheer contempt and not even a whisper of a syllable, she turns on her heels and begins trudging up the stairs with irritation poking at her mind, her perfectly manicured nails digging into the handrail with every step she takes.
“You can’t go on like this forever,” his voice follows her and she doesn’t dare look back to see if any other part of him is doing the same, “We’re stuck with eachother, sister.”
Nana knows he’s right but she’ll try anyway.
-
Nana figures out very early on that Jaejoong leaves early and returns late, so she does the exact opposite like how the night avoids the day. Though sometimes there are rare exceptions like two days ago when she was late for brunch with the girls and mindlessly stumbles out of the door, missing her right shoe and her left brain and consequently, almost include herself in his morning view. Fortunately for her, he had been too immersed in polishing the headlights of his motorcycle to notice.
She’d took notice of the little details too; like the fact that despite his notorious reputation when it comes to women, he never brings any home or that he favours collared shirts and is barely seen without it.
In a week, Nana learns more about her brother to be, than she ever did in her seventeen years of schooling with him.
-
They make a big deal out of the whole thing, but of course, they do.
Nana can't say she's surprised that there's a substantial amount of unrecognizable faces that they call 'old friends' now filling up the hall of the Kim's mansion. In fact, she doesn't think it's possible to be surprised about anything ever again, after the news of her mother's engagement broke.
So she's just another passive face in the crowd with a more expensive dress and less gossips to share. She sips champagne and listens to her flock of social wannabe friends babble on about their latest crush - whether it's boys or designer clothes.
"Tell me, how are you going to cope living under the same roof as Kim Jaejoog?" Hwang Tiffany squeaks, overdramatizing every syllable presented in that sentence, "God, I would not be able to survive one minute."
"He's a pig, but you can't deny that he is hot," says Lizzy, getting lost in her own reflection as she reapplies her lipstick, "I know you girls agree with me."
Nana roll her eyes, taking a big gulp of the last of her drink. "You only think that because you like the bad boys, Liz."
Lizzy turns suddenly, all wide eyed before a sly smile makes it way across her face. "Who doesn't?"
Nana walks away then and with no intention of returning without more alcohol.
-
"If you're not going to offer oppa any of that," thunders a voice she's beginning to familiarize herself with, "Then that's just plain disrespectful and not to mention, very, very hurtful."
Glancing around, she confirms her worst suspicion that she is, indeed alone with Jaejoong and that makes her oddly anxious. She's not scared, she's not, but she's got a feeling that she should be just a little.
"It's not only for me," she begins just as slowly as she swivels to face him with a bottle tucked under each arm and two in each hand whilst trying her hardest to look dignified in her royal of a mess state, "I've got friends - can't say the same about you when you're hanging around the ice box alone."
He smirks, lips curling when he tugs the cig in between. "You're here, aren't you?"
"And now I'm leaving." She amends quickly and takes a step from where she was grounded.
"Want oppa to come with?" He offers in a teasing tone that makes her shivers, "You look like you could need a helping hand with all that booze."
"It's fine," she replies haughtily, on the edge of wanting to burst, "I don't need your help."
"You say that now", he laughs like he finds her silly and Nana spends the rest of the night thinking the same.
-
A week later his home becomes her home - except it's not. The walls of her new bedroom is too bright, the rugs are too beige, the closet is too tall and short in width so she has to tip toe to reach for the handbags the maids nearly stacked up on the top shelves and no matter how many time she tosses and turn in her bed, she can never get comfortable enough to find sleep.
Nana reaches breaking point on a cold, Thursday night and slams every single door she passes on her way down in vengeful hope that it will wake every single soul in the damn house. It's only when her slippers makes one last 'clap' against the last step of the staircase that it occurs to her, the kitchen light is on - she's not alone.
He doesn't turn to greet her with his trademark of a smirk but Nana doesn't need him to do anything when she knows that he's been waiting for her all along.
"Had fun back there?" Jaejoong asks with the same teasing tone just like the last time they spoke and uncaps a bottle of almost empty vodka to add into the mixture of whatever drink he's making himself.
"Yeah, I did, actually."
She can hear him snicker before he says, "Would you like oppa to make you a drink too?"
"You're not my oppa," she snaps in annoyance, throwing her knotted hair over her shoulder, "And I can make my own drinks."
"But I am," he insists, taking a swig of the golden content of his glass before proceeding to add more lime,
"You said so at our last family dinner."
Nana gulps and pulls her jacket closer to her body, if that's even possible. "Well, that only applies at the dinner table."
"We'll see about that," he murmurs more to himself than her. Then suddenly, "Get dressed."
Silence, "Excuse me?"
"Get dressed," he repeats.
She leans against the countertop and chuckles incredulously at his order, "Why would I do that at 4 in the morning?"
"Because you can't sleep," he states, sounding ever so sure of himself. "And because you are going to play house and let me be a good oppa who tells you what to do, so get. dressed."
Then he faces her with eyes like steel to match his orders and she accepts the challenge with quivering knees - staring back into his onyx eyes with her honey brown ones and tries to count numbers in her head, rather than the constellation in his eyes. He cracks a smile and for a second, it seems genuine enough for her to believe.
"No"
Jaejoong looks almost impressed when she denies him.
-
“Is my cute, little sister excited for her first day of senior year?”
It’s seven fifty in the morning; Jaejoong’s smoking in the house, one after the other until he pulls a new pack out of his school bag and begins the cycle all over again. Nanan tries not to breath, wordlessly despising him for polluting the fresh air in the house and tries to look indifferent to the last fifteen minutes of it.
“No,” she says plainly, carrying on with second coating her nails.
He takes a sip of his black coffee, humming to himself then says, “Are you really going to treat oppa like this?”
Her snort’s unladylike but she couldn’t care any less. “How should I treat oppa then?”
Nana feels his weight when he drops down on the couch next to her, it resembles an anchor that holds her down and she’s left feeling trap even when there’s plenty of room on the left for her to cower off to.
“Why do you hate oppa?” His asks gently so she’ll look at him - she does, “You’re being ungrateful when I treat you so nicely and with respect too, you should know by now that I don’t have much respect for anything.”
He's a man who needs not respect anyone - there's enough money in his wallet and power in his bloodline to buy all the respect he'd ever have to give in his life time. Nana always wants the impossible, an object so rare that only she'd ever possess - now he's handing it over to her, no terms, no condition and for that, he deserves something back.
"I'm making myself toast, do you want some?"
-
The school has divides itself into two opinions. It's a clear line that separates them and Nana's left in the crack in between.
Kim Jaejoong's either bad to the point of no redemption but so bad to the point it's going to make you feel so good. It's the way he struts down the hallway with hands shoved in pockets, the looks he gives the girls like they're good enough to eat, the harshness of his face that can makes your skin crawl in fear.
He doesn't look at her like they say he would when he peers over his locker to hers for an eye lockdown.
It's another story, completely and it takes her, four recess and three lunch times to stop looking away.
-
"If you throw this cig at me and I can catch it with my mouth, what would give me?" Jaejoong asks her on a Sunday evening prior to attending yet another social party disguised as a cause for charity.
The man of the house, his father - her step father, had insisted that his son and his soon to be step daughter arrive together despite the availability of at least four limos. Neither of them had put up a fight but Jaejoong did insist that he waits in her room while she finishes up last minute touches on her appearance.
"That's not even impressive" she says with a small scoff, clipping on her earrings.
"It's a lot harder than it looks, you know," he suggests, uncrossing his leg and pushes off her bed to move closer to her current location, in front of the vanity, "Answer the question."
He's forceful sometimes but she's given into complying. "I don't know what I can give to the great Kim Jaejoong when he has everything so I think you should be the one to answering that question."
He pauses for a second to consider then, "Another question for you, sister, will you give me anything I ask for?"
Nana sees him in the mirror - dirty blonde a few shades darker than her own, smoldering looks and even more smoldering form in the suit he's picked for tonight. They could pass as a sibling - a couple of them, they could. He places a hand on her shoulder, soft but rough, just like him and she lets him even if she will never know why.
His head dips down to her ear. "Again, sister," he whispers so saucily Nana thinks it might drives her to insanity, "Answer the question."
A breathy "Yes" flies out of her mouth when his lips ghost its way down her neck.
-
Jaejoong can be charming when he wants to; his smile will make you smile and his compliments will want you to hold onto his company - tonight he's all of those things.
He tells all the girls and their moms, how pretty they're looking; glowing, beautiful, gorgeous - those are the words he chooses. Doesn't matter if it's truth or tales, he plays them all for a fool.
Her dance partner for the night (mother's choice of course); Lu Han has been an impeccable gentleman - he never misses a step in any song, he doesn't forget to offer to take her coat off unlike other boys she's encountered, his politeness could outlive hers.
But when he tells her she is the prettiest girl in the room, by far - it is from the heart but to Nana, it is weightless.
"Mind if I cut in?" Is acidic and malicious and everything her date isn't. That is my sister, after all."
Luhan looks at her, wide eyes looking for an answer she can't give him. He drops her hand with one last careless and nods off, leaving Jaejoong to fill the space he left.
"Aren't you going to say thank you?"
Nana's jaw drops. "Thank you? For what?!"
He clicks his tongue and swoops her into his arms, grip so right around her waist she struggles to move in tune with him. "Rescuing you from that doe eyed, no personality bore."
"I liked him!"
Jaejoong laughs, loud and condescending as he spins them around. "He's far from being your type."
"Oh," she seethes, "And you'd know what my type is?"
"Oppa knows everything!" He says in humor, distracting her with their on-going waltz, "I'm your type."
It sounds like a joke, but they both know it's not.
"It's a shame, my sister's just my type," he says quietly so only she'd hear, "And did I mention how ravishing you look in that dress?"
She grips in lapel of his jacket and pulls him close with the intention of pulling away in mind, her first smile of the night imprinting itself onto his shoulder.
(Nana too, is a fool for him.)
-
They sneak out the back door and into the indoor pool, touching all the flesh they can reach on their way there.
Nana’s got her Jimmy Choos in arms and Jaejoong with a stolen bottle of some expensive booze from the host’s personal cabinet. He’s holding her hands in his with the intention of stabling her steps with the innocent excuse of brotherly love to the guests and they accept it, turning blind eye to the fumbling of the strap of her golden dress.
“Shh,” he says like that night, only this time with a coy smile, “If your mom catches us, I’m not going to be the one getting punished.”
“Hmm,” she hums, staggering out of his hold, “I doubt anyone would approve of our behaviour.”
He chuckles in amusement as he shuts the glass door with a ‘click’, “I approve.”
Jaejoong’s pulling him back to her, seemingly needy like the separation of her body and his was days instead of seconds and she giggles, her lipstick smudging onto his dress shirt. Nana stares at the fuchsias against the white; even she knows what it looks like - what this must look like to if anyone had the chance to witness them…and this.
He tips her head back, peering into her windows of conflict. Nana flattens her palms on his chest, wanting to give it a push but her fingers have already curled itself around everything of his she could hold onto and he’s enjoys his trip into her head and back again.
“I think I approve to,” Nana agrees in a rush and presses a kiss on his cheek, desperately holding onto the last of her innocence because god knows, when she’ll lose it.
-
Their parents don’t hear about it, Nana considers it luck and retreats to nothingness but Jaejoong has other plans.
She sees him hanging around her locker from the other end of the hall. The usual vision of long legs in hot mess uniforms, giving mean looks to a sea of students passing and stopping to stare at resident bad boy.
Jaejoong’s like a light house in the dark, shining bright wherever he goes. Nana knows there’s no way he won’t catch you with his light.
Jooyeon and Raina spots him too and she feels them more than ready to say their farewells and make their way back to the canteen with oxford shoes scraping the marble floor - ready to run as far as they can from the big bad wolf. Nana considers following their path, keeping distance wouldn’t hurt either of them.
But he spots her, rolling the sleeves of his sweater up, licking lips and comes to her like a man on a mission.
“Afternoon, sister,” he greets slyly, invading her personal space, “I missed you this morning and I was going to offer you a ride to school.”
‘That’s… nice” she says stiffly, tipping her chin up in an attempt to appear confident.
There’s no response to her barely audible one. His eyes glazes over her face - then it’s gone, an invisible ‘snap’ and the part of him she’s been wanting to stay has shut its door.
“I see,” he begins like it’s the end, “My sister’s gone back to being no fun.”
Jaejoong crashes into her life so quick she couldn’t begin to comprehend and when he leaves, it’s the same.
-
It’s a two way street now - no witty remarks on the dinner table, no lockers’ eye sex, no breakfast banters, no demure coy talk at events they’re forced to attend.
Nana watches him, secretly, between classes - selling illegal goods to younger boys who copy his hair cut, winking at girls with an ass less flattering than hers, smoking cigarettes with Shim Changmin behind the gym. She fantasizes about him with his unbreakable watch on her - she lives her fantasy to the point of delusion; him grinding up on new blonde in front of the girl’s toilette does little to nothing to burst her bubble of a day dream.
She saunters into the bathroom with the smallest of crack in her ice queen mask, letting it fall to pieces when she looks into the mirror. Much prettier, Nana thinks in an egotistical persuasion, brushing a strand of blonde out of her eyes to get a better look of her complexion. It occurs to her when she fishes out the baby pink tube of lipstick - pours onto her like rain and hits her like a lightning of stark revelation - she could have been the girl with his hands on her thigh, ass, hips, waist, neck - all over.
It should be her.
And she wants it to be.
Nana enters with her pride and exits with it flushed down the toilet.
-
“Is the offer for the ride home still open?”
“I’d be a bad oppa if I make my sister walk home in the cold.”
He doesn’t tell her to hold on tight when they drive off but she does anyway.
IF YOU WANT TROUBLE, nick water house (intro)
FIGURE 8, ellie goulding
Place a kiss on my cheekbone
Then you vanish me
FUTURE STARTS SLOW, the kills
But I'll never give you up
If I ever give you up my heart will surely fail
THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE, banks
And finally when I let myself fall hard for you I
See you trying to pretend like I’m making it up
SAY SOMETHING, james
Take a drug to set you free,
Strange fruit from a forbidden tree.
BLUE JEANS, lana del rey
You're so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer
COMIN' UP FROM BEHIND, marcy's playground
Your ego's swollen to the size of the moon, well
I think you found somebody to cut you down to size
~ 4190 w, pg13, (nana/jaejoong) - heirs AU, faux cest (think rachel/young do)
she could have been the girl with his hands on her thigh, ass, hips, waist, neck - all over.
■ dedicating this to all jaenana shippers, esp. my dear writer friends harues and uljima
■ desperately trying to justice for the rachel/young do ship on heirs because HOW DID THEY NOT END UP TOGETHER WHEN THEY HAD THAT MUCH EYE SEX?!
■ it won't take long for me to post part 2 cause I'm too excited for my own good :P
■ mini soundtrack thingy at the end of post
There are many ways one can describe Kim Jaejoong - so they do back two summers ago when he returns to the Jung’s family extravaganza of a garden party with mussed hair, crimson lip stick stains on white collar and missing a tie and they do so at the pretend gala ball hosted by the Shim’s when he takes a group of junior boys into the garage with a bag of what is rumoured to be an illegal substance and they continue with their words when the fire alarm went off during last semester’s exam and the culprit remains unfound and they do so yet again, at this very moment, when her mother and his father smiles for the sea of news reporters.
Only this time, Im Nana is synonymous with his adjectives.
His stare from across the room is plain dirty - just like him.
-
She flees to Tokyo for five days - no goodbyes, no discussions or confrontation.
Only twenty minutes of stunned silence before a call to book the next flight from Seoul. In fact, her return is only due to cancelled credit cards, all seven of them, including two debit because a mother knows her daughter well and her weakness better. A ticket is sent over to the concierge on Friday evening, the flight back is due next morning and her rebellion is punished with a return journey on economy class.
Nana admittedly nearly shed tears when she buckles her seat belt for take-off.
Precisely at half past twelve, after a detour of duty free, she finally surrenders, put on her recently purchased pair of Moschino heels and click clack out the terminal gate and into the much dreaded arrival area, stopping right under the ‘Welcome to Seoul’ sign to admire the unfortunate choice of font color.
It’s only when Nana makes a turn that she walks into the real night mare.
“Well, well, aren’t we fashionably late today?”
All she knows is her fashionable shoes have gone to hell to keep him company.
-
Jaejoong sits in his freshly pressed suit, knot of his tie pulled down to the same level of the accidentally-on-purpose unbuttoned collar of his crisp, white shirt and dirty blonde hair perfectly slicked back. A fork in hand and knife in the other, he cuts the steak into perfect slices; not too thick and not to thin but instead of devouring it, he devours her with his eyes from across the table and she wishes he wouldn’t.
“So, Nana,” Mister Kim or Woobin as he tells her to call him, coughs, clearing his throat in hope of also clearing the uneasiness and fails miserable, “Did you have a nice time in Tokyo? I hope my son was in his best behaviour when he picked you up.”
“I assure you that she had the best of times, father,” he drawls, lips curling into a smirk that could only belong to a devil, “I took sister on a nice, long ride.”
The dropping of the cutlery by his father is followed by hurried gulps of wine her mother takes and Nana grips the hem of her dress so hard she thinks it might rip. He’s easy on the food but not the table conversations.
“Oh yes,” Nana offers in pretend agreement, nodding a little too much, “Oppa took me for a ride, too bad we were done before we could get anywhere good.”
“Nana!” Mother scolds in a hushed voice, eyes wide and disbelieving at what had just escaped her daughter’s mouth.
She blinks, an eerily innocent smile splashed across her face. “Yes, mother?”
Woobin looks positively outraged at his son’s previous comment and even more so now after she had added her two cents. He’s a man of bad temper so they say - maybe so bad that it could even rival her mother and maybe that’s why they are marrying each other. Maybe they’ll be at each other’s throat when they have a row. Maybe.
Jaejoong, however, is more amused than anything. His arms are folded against his chest and his back resting on the back arching onto the back of the chair; almost as if he has backed down to commend her for her snipe remark in response to his own.
Finally, Nana announces, “If you’ll excuse me, I’m rather full now.” With that she rises to her feet, pushing her hair and in the process of her departure, she says her last farewell, “But we should do this again sometime.”
-
It happens on the third night after given no choice but to move into the Kim’s residence with Nana descending down the stairwell for a late night mug of hot chocolate in hope that it will lull her to sleep and Jaejoong, hiding in the shadows of the night when he takes advantage of her oblivion to pull her into the darkness with him.
“Shh” he coos into her ears, his palm flying over her mouth before she could make any noise to protest.
And she feels it.
Every single little nerves in her body has come undone - a flicker of flame that becomes a fire so wild it washes through her like a heat wave of unbearable summers. So her head lolls back with a sharp intake of breath, needing so much for a gasp of air to invade her senses to cleanse the sinful spark that’s electrifying from head to toe. He retreats from her and so do his limbs; they all return the freshly painted walls his eyes see right through, roaming over the living room where Mister Kim coincidentally is lounging around in.
Nana waits for the mocking chuckle to come but it doesn’t. She waits for sarcasm and that leaves her too. She relies on an angry outburst only to realize she’s swallowed them whole.
“You could have gotten oppa in a lot of trouble there,” he swivels around with a wolfish smile, releasing a puff of breath she assumes he had been holding, “Isn’t it pass your bed time already?”
“I don’t have one,” she sputters out absently, feeling nowhere as dignified as she sounds.
His brow creased in surprise, not looking very convinced with her claim but let it go either way. “Cute PJs.”
“Whatever,” she mumbles, feeling her cheeks burn and is suddenly appreciative for the lack of lighting around the mansion, “Now, can you move out of my way?
“Nope,” he says all too quickly, emphasizing the ‘p’ with a smug grin, “I’ll consider it if you tell me where you’re going though.”
With an incredulous scoff, Nana decides with finality that all this continuing nonsense; especially with Kim Jaejong of all people, isn’t worth a grain of her energy - not tonight, not in the next week and not ever. Giving him one last look of sheer contempt and not even a whisper of a syllable, she turns on her heels and begins trudging up the stairs with irritation poking at her mind, her perfectly manicured nails digging into the handrail with every step she takes.
“You can’t go on like this forever,” his voice follows her and she doesn’t dare look back to see if any other part of him is doing the same, “We’re stuck with eachother, sister.”
Nana knows he’s right but she’ll try anyway.
-
Nana figures out very early on that Jaejoong leaves early and returns late, so she does the exact opposite like how the night avoids the day. Though sometimes there are rare exceptions like two days ago when she was late for brunch with the girls and mindlessly stumbles out of the door, missing her right shoe and her left brain and consequently, almost include herself in his morning view. Fortunately for her, he had been too immersed in polishing the headlights of his motorcycle to notice.
She’d took notice of the little details too; like the fact that despite his notorious reputation when it comes to women, he never brings any home or that he favours collared shirts and is barely seen without it.
In a week, Nana learns more about her brother to be, than she ever did in her seventeen years of schooling with him.
-
They make a big deal out of the whole thing, but of course, they do.
Nana can't say she's surprised that there's a substantial amount of unrecognizable faces that they call 'old friends' now filling up the hall of the Kim's mansion. In fact, she doesn't think it's possible to be surprised about anything ever again, after the news of her mother's engagement broke.
So she's just another passive face in the crowd with a more expensive dress and less gossips to share. She sips champagne and listens to her flock of social wannabe friends babble on about their latest crush - whether it's boys or designer clothes.
"Tell me, how are you going to cope living under the same roof as Kim Jaejoog?" Hwang Tiffany squeaks, overdramatizing every syllable presented in that sentence, "God, I would not be able to survive one minute."
"He's a pig, but you can't deny that he is hot," says Lizzy, getting lost in her own reflection as she reapplies her lipstick, "I know you girls agree with me."
Nana roll her eyes, taking a big gulp of the last of her drink. "You only think that because you like the bad boys, Liz."
Lizzy turns suddenly, all wide eyed before a sly smile makes it way across her face. "Who doesn't?"
Nana walks away then and with no intention of returning without more alcohol.
-
"If you're not going to offer oppa any of that," thunders a voice she's beginning to familiarize herself with, "Then that's just plain disrespectful and not to mention, very, very hurtful."
Glancing around, she confirms her worst suspicion that she is, indeed alone with Jaejoong and that makes her oddly anxious. She's not scared, she's not, but she's got a feeling that she should be just a little.
"It's not only for me," she begins just as slowly as she swivels to face him with a bottle tucked under each arm and two in each hand whilst trying her hardest to look dignified in her royal of a mess state, "I've got friends - can't say the same about you when you're hanging around the ice box alone."
He smirks, lips curling when he tugs the cig in between. "You're here, aren't you?"
"And now I'm leaving." She amends quickly and takes a step from where she was grounded.
"Want oppa to come with?" He offers in a teasing tone that makes her shivers, "You look like you could need a helping hand with all that booze."
"It's fine," she replies haughtily, on the edge of wanting to burst, "I don't need your help."
"You say that now", he laughs like he finds her silly and Nana spends the rest of the night thinking the same.
-
A week later his home becomes her home - except it's not. The walls of her new bedroom is too bright, the rugs are too beige, the closet is too tall and short in width so she has to tip toe to reach for the handbags the maids nearly stacked up on the top shelves and no matter how many time she tosses and turn in her bed, she can never get comfortable enough to find sleep.
Nana reaches breaking point on a cold, Thursday night and slams every single door she passes on her way down in vengeful hope that it will wake every single soul in the damn house. It's only when her slippers makes one last 'clap' against the last step of the staircase that it occurs to her, the kitchen light is on - she's not alone.
He doesn't turn to greet her with his trademark of a smirk but Nana doesn't need him to do anything when she knows that he's been waiting for her all along.
"Had fun back there?" Jaejoong asks with the same teasing tone just like the last time they spoke and uncaps a bottle of almost empty vodka to add into the mixture of whatever drink he's making himself.
"Yeah, I did, actually."
She can hear him snicker before he says, "Would you like oppa to make you a drink too?"
"You're not my oppa," she snaps in annoyance, throwing her knotted hair over her shoulder, "And I can make my own drinks."
"But I am," he insists, taking a swig of the golden content of his glass before proceeding to add more lime,
"You said so at our last family dinner."
Nana gulps and pulls her jacket closer to her body, if that's even possible. "Well, that only applies at the dinner table."
"We'll see about that," he murmurs more to himself than her. Then suddenly, "Get dressed."
Silence, "Excuse me?"
"Get dressed," he repeats.
She leans against the countertop and chuckles incredulously at his order, "Why would I do that at 4 in the morning?"
"Because you can't sleep," he states, sounding ever so sure of himself. "And because you are going to play house and let me be a good oppa who tells you what to do, so get. dressed."
Then he faces her with eyes like steel to match his orders and she accepts the challenge with quivering knees - staring back into his onyx eyes with her honey brown ones and tries to count numbers in her head, rather than the constellation in his eyes. He cracks a smile and for a second, it seems genuine enough for her to believe.
"No"
Jaejoong looks almost impressed when she denies him.
-
“Is my cute, little sister excited for her first day of senior year?”
It’s seven fifty in the morning; Jaejoong’s smoking in the house, one after the other until he pulls a new pack out of his school bag and begins the cycle all over again. Nanan tries not to breath, wordlessly despising him for polluting the fresh air in the house and tries to look indifferent to the last fifteen minutes of it.
“No,” she says plainly, carrying on with second coating her nails.
He takes a sip of his black coffee, humming to himself then says, “Are you really going to treat oppa like this?”
Her snort’s unladylike but she couldn’t care any less. “How should I treat oppa then?”
Nana feels his weight when he drops down on the couch next to her, it resembles an anchor that holds her down and she’s left feeling trap even when there’s plenty of room on the left for her to cower off to.
“Why do you hate oppa?” His asks gently so she’ll look at him - she does, “You’re being ungrateful when I treat you so nicely and with respect too, you should know by now that I don’t have much respect for anything.”
He's a man who needs not respect anyone - there's enough money in his wallet and power in his bloodline to buy all the respect he'd ever have to give in his life time. Nana always wants the impossible, an object so rare that only she'd ever possess - now he's handing it over to her, no terms, no condition and for that, he deserves something back.
"I'm making myself toast, do you want some?"
-
The school has divides itself into two opinions. It's a clear line that separates them and Nana's left in the crack in between.
Kim Jaejoong's either bad to the point of no redemption but so bad to the point it's going to make you feel so good. It's the way he struts down the hallway with hands shoved in pockets, the looks he gives the girls like they're good enough to eat, the harshness of his face that can makes your skin crawl in fear.
He doesn't look at her like they say he would when he peers over his locker to hers for an eye lockdown.
It's another story, completely and it takes her, four recess and three lunch times to stop looking away.
-
"If you throw this cig at me and I can catch it with my mouth, what would give me?" Jaejoong asks her on a Sunday evening prior to attending yet another social party disguised as a cause for charity.
The man of the house, his father - her step father, had insisted that his son and his soon to be step daughter arrive together despite the availability of at least four limos. Neither of them had put up a fight but Jaejoong did insist that he waits in her room while she finishes up last minute touches on her appearance.
"That's not even impressive" she says with a small scoff, clipping on her earrings.
"It's a lot harder than it looks, you know," he suggests, uncrossing his leg and pushes off her bed to move closer to her current location, in front of the vanity, "Answer the question."
He's forceful sometimes but she's given into complying. "I don't know what I can give to the great Kim Jaejoong when he has everything so I think you should be the one to answering that question."
He pauses for a second to consider then, "Another question for you, sister, will you give me anything I ask for?"
Nana sees him in the mirror - dirty blonde a few shades darker than her own, smoldering looks and even more smoldering form in the suit he's picked for tonight. They could pass as a sibling - a couple of them, they could. He places a hand on her shoulder, soft but rough, just like him and she lets him even if she will never know why.
His head dips down to her ear. "Again, sister," he whispers so saucily Nana thinks it might drives her to insanity, "Answer the question."
A breathy "Yes" flies out of her mouth when his lips ghost its way down her neck.
-
Jaejoong can be charming when he wants to; his smile will make you smile and his compliments will want you to hold onto his company - tonight he's all of those things.
He tells all the girls and their moms, how pretty they're looking; glowing, beautiful, gorgeous - those are the words he chooses. Doesn't matter if it's truth or tales, he plays them all for a fool.
Her dance partner for the night (mother's choice of course); Lu Han has been an impeccable gentleman - he never misses a step in any song, he doesn't forget to offer to take her coat off unlike other boys she's encountered, his politeness could outlive hers.
But when he tells her she is the prettiest girl in the room, by far - it is from the heart but to Nana, it is weightless.
"Mind if I cut in?" Is acidic and malicious and everything her date isn't. That is my sister, after all."
Luhan looks at her, wide eyes looking for an answer she can't give him. He drops her hand with one last careless and nods off, leaving Jaejoong to fill the space he left.
"Aren't you going to say thank you?"
Nana's jaw drops. "Thank you? For what?!"
He clicks his tongue and swoops her into his arms, grip so right around her waist she struggles to move in tune with him. "Rescuing you from that doe eyed, no personality bore."
"I liked him!"
Jaejoong laughs, loud and condescending as he spins them around. "He's far from being your type."
"Oh," she seethes, "And you'd know what my type is?"
"Oppa knows everything!" He says in humor, distracting her with their on-going waltz, "I'm your type."
It sounds like a joke, but they both know it's not.
"It's a shame, my sister's just my type," he says quietly so only she'd hear, "And did I mention how ravishing you look in that dress?"
She grips in lapel of his jacket and pulls him close with the intention of pulling away in mind, her first smile of the night imprinting itself onto his shoulder.
(Nana too, is a fool for him.)
-
They sneak out the back door and into the indoor pool, touching all the flesh they can reach on their way there.
Nana’s got her Jimmy Choos in arms and Jaejoong with a stolen bottle of some expensive booze from the host’s personal cabinet. He’s holding her hands in his with the intention of stabling her steps with the innocent excuse of brotherly love to the guests and they accept it, turning blind eye to the fumbling of the strap of her golden dress.
“Shh,” he says like that night, only this time with a coy smile, “If your mom catches us, I’m not going to be the one getting punished.”
“Hmm,” she hums, staggering out of his hold, “I doubt anyone would approve of our behaviour.”
He chuckles in amusement as he shuts the glass door with a ‘click’, “I approve.”
Jaejoong’s pulling him back to her, seemingly needy like the separation of her body and his was days instead of seconds and she giggles, her lipstick smudging onto his dress shirt. Nana stares at the fuchsias against the white; even she knows what it looks like - what this must look like to if anyone had the chance to witness them…and this.
He tips her head back, peering into her windows of conflict. Nana flattens her palms on his chest, wanting to give it a push but her fingers have already curled itself around everything of his she could hold onto and he’s enjoys his trip into her head and back again.
“I think I approve to,” Nana agrees in a rush and presses a kiss on his cheek, desperately holding onto the last of her innocence because god knows, when she’ll lose it.
-
Their parents don’t hear about it, Nana considers it luck and retreats to nothingness but Jaejoong has other plans.
She sees him hanging around her locker from the other end of the hall. The usual vision of long legs in hot mess uniforms, giving mean looks to a sea of students passing and stopping to stare at resident bad boy.
Jaejoong’s like a light house in the dark, shining bright wherever he goes. Nana knows there’s no way he won’t catch you with his light.
Jooyeon and Raina spots him too and she feels them more than ready to say their farewells and make their way back to the canteen with oxford shoes scraping the marble floor - ready to run as far as they can from the big bad wolf. Nana considers following their path, keeping distance wouldn’t hurt either of them.
But he spots her, rolling the sleeves of his sweater up, licking lips and comes to her like a man on a mission.
“Afternoon, sister,” he greets slyly, invading her personal space, “I missed you this morning and I was going to offer you a ride to school.”
‘That’s… nice” she says stiffly, tipping her chin up in an attempt to appear confident.
There’s no response to her barely audible one. His eyes glazes over her face - then it’s gone, an invisible ‘snap’ and the part of him she’s been wanting to stay has shut its door.
“I see,” he begins like it’s the end, “My sister’s gone back to being no fun.”
Jaejoong crashes into her life so quick she couldn’t begin to comprehend and when he leaves, it’s the same.
-
It’s a two way street now - no witty remarks on the dinner table, no lockers’ eye sex, no breakfast banters, no demure coy talk at events they’re forced to attend.
Nana watches him, secretly, between classes - selling illegal goods to younger boys who copy his hair cut, winking at girls with an ass less flattering than hers, smoking cigarettes with Shim Changmin behind the gym. She fantasizes about him with his unbreakable watch on her - she lives her fantasy to the point of delusion; him grinding up on new blonde in front of the girl’s toilette does little to nothing to burst her bubble of a day dream.
She saunters into the bathroom with the smallest of crack in her ice queen mask, letting it fall to pieces when she looks into the mirror. Much prettier, Nana thinks in an egotistical persuasion, brushing a strand of blonde out of her eyes to get a better look of her complexion. It occurs to her when she fishes out the baby pink tube of lipstick - pours onto her like rain and hits her like a lightning of stark revelation - she could have been the girl with his hands on her thigh, ass, hips, waist, neck - all over.
It should be her.
And she wants it to be.
Nana enters with her pride and exits with it flushed down the toilet.
-
“Is the offer for the ride home still open?”
“I’d be a bad oppa if I make my sister walk home in the cold.”
He doesn’t tell her to hold on tight when they drive off but she does anyway.
IF YOU WANT TROUBLE, nick water house (intro)
FIGURE 8, ellie goulding
Place a kiss on my cheekbone
Then you vanish me
FUTURE STARTS SLOW, the kills
But I'll never give you up
If I ever give you up my heart will surely fail
THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE, banks
And finally when I let myself fall hard for you I
See you trying to pretend like I’m making it up
SAY SOMETHING, james
Take a drug to set you free,
Strange fruit from a forbidden tree.
BLUE JEANS, lana del rey
You're so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer
COMIN' UP FROM BEHIND, marcy's playground
Your ego's swollen to the size of the moon, well
I think you found somebody to cut you down to size