My Last Train: Chapter 8
Title: My Last Train
Fandom: Kanjani8, NewS
Pairing: Kato Shigeaki x Koyama Keiichiro, Nishikido Ryo x Uchi Hiroki, Nishikido Ryo x Ohkura Tadayoshi
Rating: NC-17. But this chapter is pretty safe.
And NO I don't own anything except from the plot, not even the title is mine!
Summary: Ryo struggles with what his and Uchi's relationship has turned into. He needs a brake to think. He still loves Uchi but he ends up unable to go back and tell him.
I must be crazy updating again! Maybe I'm on a fluke right now making it easy to write? I hope it doesn't affect the quality too much... :S This time it's Shige's POV. Please don't kill me! You'll still get to meet our three tragic heroes. :) If you find any errors in this hasty update please inform me! :D
Chapter 8 - Understanding
”You didn't!? Don't tell us you...” Shige didn't have to finish the question, the look on Uchi's face was enough for them to know that exactly what they had feared had also happened. “YOU DID!” Koyama's voice was as loud as always, but this early in the morning it was a little hard to deal with. Even for him who had his share of experience after dating the loud-mouth for almost half of his life. Ignoring his boyfriend he set his face for serious and looked at Uchi before sighing. “You can't just hit people like that.” His friend looked slightly discouraged. “I know... but...” He interrupted. “No buts, it was wrong and you know it.” Uchi sank back into his chair. “Yeah I know. But still...” Incredibly enough even Koyama seemed to grasp the situation and kept his mouth shut as his best friend and his lover kept talking in their hotel room. “You won't get Ryo back by hitting his doctor.” Something in the others face twitched. “I know.” Shige put a hand on Uchi's shoulder. “I'm saying you should fight for Ryo, just... don't use violence. You don't need that.” The words seemed to have some kind of effect and it made Shige happy when Uchi stood up and said. “You're right! I can't... No, I won't loose him like this!”
' It was strange to sit here, talking to Ryo without it really being him. It was only the two of them this time. Koyama had gone outside to make a phone call and Uchi had said that he would come by later. “He loves you.” The man lying in the bed didn't seem prepared for such a statement, but he collected himself fast. “I know.” Shige noted some guilt in Ryo's voice. “I know he does. But I can't remember my feelings for him.” The others eyes was getting glazed as he kept talking. “Sometimes, when I talk to him. To Uchi. I can feel his emotions as if they were my own. I can't stand it when he's crying and if he's hurt I feel the pain too.” The tears were many now, falling down, disappearing when they hit the cover. “I feel all this. But I don't love him.”
Shige snuffled. “I know that, I'm not blind.” Ryo leaned back into his pillow letting him speak. “And I think Uchi knows that too. I'm just saying that he won't give up on you so easily.” At this moment Koyama decides to turn up chirping happily as he pops his head in through the door. “Miss me?” He hides his face to not let Koyama know that he'd been crying, he could see Ryo doing the same turning his head to watch out the window. “You've only been gone for fifteen minutes.” Koyama skips to his side and gives him a peck on the cheek. “I still missed you.” Shige blushed feeling embarrassed by Kei's action. When Ryo then starts to chuckle at them, or rather at him it only did everything worse. His face was probably red as Rudolph's nose on Christmas Eve, but he didn't really care. At least for now, Ryo was smiling again.'
For the first time in months it felt as if it was the same old Uchi standing beside him. Now when he had the goal to make Ryo his again, maybe he no longer had any room for all that anger he'd been hosting since the suspension. “So what are you going to do then?” Koyama probably couldn't keep quiet any longer. It had after all been at least ten minutes since he last spoke. “I'm just going to be me. I'll try to make Ryo remember his feelings, but I don't want to hurt him. If I'm not careful I might just push him further away.” The determined expression Uchi showed was fallowed by his best smile. One Shige didn't know he had missed. “That's great, you'll definitely make Ryo-chan remember you!” Shige watched as his boyfriend got up and gave Uchi a huge hug, the both of them embracing each other as if there were no tomorrow.
' They knocked on the door before entering the room. When they were met by the sight of Ohkura and Ryo laughing together it didn't surprise him at all. Most of the times Ohkura would be there too when they came to visit. And then abruptly hurrying along when they came, as if realizing that he had other things to do. This time was no exception. “Ah, that's right... I'll have to go talk to Maruyama-sensei about your sessions starting next week.” He saw Ohkura getting up, letting go of Ryo's hand that he'd been holding. When the doctor walked past him, Shige followed after telling Koyama that he'd be right back. “Ohkura-sensei” The other turned around giving him a smile. “Ah, Kato-san. Do you have something on your mind?” He squirms a little, but doesn't let it affect him. “Actually I have.”
“So what is it.” They had gone inside an empty patients room to get some privacy and it made him feel a little awkward to be alone with Ohkura. “Will Ryo ever get his memory back?” The other smiled at him seemingly relived that it was nothing worse than Ryo's health he'd been wanting to ask about. “I'm positive he will. Though no one can know for certain how long it will take.” It was now the real question he'd been wanting to ask was thrown at the doctor. “Then what happens when he finally do remember?” The taller man looks down, probably thinking about what to answer. “I don't know.” He then finally says. It makes Shige a little aggravated that his answer is so simple, no plan at all. “So you haven't thought about what you're doing? That when Ryo gets his memory back he won't simply be able to go back to how it was before and that it will be you to blame for it.”
For a minute Ohkura simply stood there, not saying a word before at last opening his mouth to speak. “You love Koyama-san, don't you?” He answers before realizing it. “I do.” The doctor continues. “Then would you be able to suddenly stop yourself from loving him?” Shige was stunned, he didn't know what to say. Luckily he didn't have to say anything because Ohkura kept talking. “I know, that I shouldn't be doing this. I know that it will hurt all of us in the end, but I simply can't help it.” For a moment it looked as if he was about to cry as he spoke, Shige was glad that he didn't. “I've tried to keep a distance, even more so after I met Uchi-san.” “Still I found myself by his side, smiling at him even though I knew it to be wrong.” A short pause. “Now, I'm just not fighting it anymore.” Shige was taken aback by the honesty in the words. It was impossible to be angry at this man, rather he could now feel himself pitying him. He was just someone who had fallen in love. Not any different from himself or Uchi. '
It was only he and Koyama left in the room now as Uchi had gone back to his own to get some sleep before going to see Ryo. They had been up all morning questioning Uchi about his whereabouts the day before. It wasn't as if they distrusted their friend, but when he shows up banging on their door 4 am in the morning, drenched after spending the night out in the rain crying it would be irresponsible of them not to ask questions.
He sighed deeply making the 2-star hotel bed squeak in protest. “Kei, I love you.” He could hear the other moving in his own bed, probably turning to look at him. “What did that come from? It's not often you actually say it out loud.” He shrugged. “I don't know. Just felt like saying it.” Kei's bed made an awful sound indicating that his lover had left it. Not much later he could feel the warmth of Koyama's body against his back as the two of them snuggled closer now sharing the minimum of space that was Shige's mattress.
' He and Koyama left the room with promises of being back tomorrow. Visiting hours was over and they were now on their way back to the hotel they were staying at for the moment. As they walk along the unfamiliar streets of Osaka they see a familiar face sticking up over the masses. “Ohkura-kun!” Before Shige had a chance to stop Koyama he was already waving and shouting doing his best to get the others attention. It seemed as if the doctor had heard Kei's calls as he was slowly making his way towards them. When he came closer, the crowd not hiding it anymore, he could see that Ohkura wasn't alone. He was there with someone Shige didn't recognize, and they were holding hands.
What on earth was going on? It surprised him that that man before him, who had just two days before practically admitted himself to be in love with Ryo, didn't show any kind of guilt at all standing here openly holding another mans hand. Shige was just about to ask what the hell he was doing when Koyama spoke again. “Ah, I didn't see you there Subaru-kun. How are you?” Shige looks at his lover with surprise written all over his face. “You know this man?” Koyama just ignores him and gives Subaru a pat on the head as the stranger answer a little shy. “Good. Dad is letting me out today.” Dad? Shige must have heard wrong, or maybe 'Dad' was just some weird pet name for Ohkura, or maybe he was just going crazy. At this utterly confusing moment Koyama decides to butt in and introduce them to each other. “Subaru-kun, this is my boyfriend, Kato Shigeaki, feel free to call him Shige.“ Koyama blinked at the small man. ”And Shiggy, this is Subaru-kun, Ohkura-kun's son. He's in the same ward as Ryo-chan.” It was too overwhelming even for Shige's mind capacity to pick up all at once. Still he smiled brightly at Subaru. “Nice to meet you. Eh, Subaru-kun.” '
“Ohkura-sensei is a really good person, isn't he?” Shige had said this more to himself but the sleepy lump of meat in his arms probably felt that he had to speak, even though he was practically in dreamland already. “He is... He's very nice.” Even though Koyama's answer was more of a reflex than an actual answer he went on. “It makes it harder. That we can't dislike him, that we can't hate him and blame him. And I think Ryo really likes him.” He felt Koyama nuzzle closer. “Mhmm...” He looked down. “Are you going to sleep on me?” No response. His lover was already out dead. “I'm glad our love isn't so complicated.” He gave Koyama a kiss before closing his own eyes to get some sleep.
A DOUBLE UPDATE! WOW I REALLY MUST BE GOING CRAZY! (As you can see by my use of CapsL) It's Shige-chan who's in charge for this chap! Did you like it? ^w^ I want to show you this story from different eyes, and I apologize if you hate me for doing so! Now go on and read the next chapter! ^_^
Also be aware that English isn't my first language, so I apologize if there are any annoying errors. ^^'''
Please comment, it's what keeps me motivated! :D So if you like it remember to comment, constructive critique is also welcome... But that doesn't mean you have to be overly evil! *just joking* ^_^