Catchy upy thingys
From my private diary.....
17 December 2007
We went and spent some time with Nan and Pop on Sunday. Normally we have set places where we are expected to sit when we visit (they are creatures of habit!) Yesterday Pop threw the seating plan out by deciding that he wanted to sit next to me so that he was between Paul and I rather than have Paul next to me. He kept looking at me and smiling and patting my arm. Damn I love that man. I baked him some muffins which he loved and hid some in the fridge for him cause Nan would only let him have one. When we left I gave him a huge hug and told him I loved him to which he replied "I love your hugs more!" Bless!
Today we have bought him a laptop. We should get it just after Christmas. It will give him something to do and also allow Paul to spend some extra time with him helping to set it up. We are going to put them on a plan where they can call over east for free via the net so he can speak to the kids and grand kids over there any time he wants.
Last night we put up the Christmas tree, it looks a little crowded with all the decorations. I will get some pics and show you. We took Zac to buy his Christmas Tree Decorations. He chose some nice ones again. he should have quite a collection by the time he finally leaves home.
I am looking forward to Christmas, I wish I had some more time off other than the public holidays but I can't complain.
7 January 2008...
The below was written on New Years Eve…
Merry Christmas All!
Yes I know this is a little late, but I am finally in air con (back at work) and my brain has firmed up again from the melted mush that it was over the past few days. Christmas day was around the 41 degree mark and Boxing Day I think was 43 or 44 degrees! And we have no air-conditioning. I think Paul is fixing it today though and buying a portable unit so we can all get some sleep!
Christmas day was lovely. Zac got a mountain of presents, when I get home I will put in a couple of pics to prove that Mountain is not an exaggeration! The highlight would have been the DS Nintendo Light he received from his Cousins who cam to visit us last month from the UK. He also got Lego and Macarno plus Hot Wheels and various other bits and pieces.
I got a lovely bracelet and some earrings, perfume, singstar and some weird dolphin statue from my mother (I am starting to wonder about her)
Paul got Guitar Hero 3, Transformers DVD, Biscuits and earlier he got a new computer.
Santa was good to us
We then had breakfast and eventually headed over to see Paul’s family for Lunch. His mum’s house is air-conditioned so we were in no rush to leave and it was lovely sitting around talking with them. Nan and Pop were there as well
I then got a phone call saying they were putting pop into hospital and I haven’t had a chance to finish writing this since then. Pop’s leg had swollen really badly (kidneys shutting down) and his liver was enlarged. They wanted to start running some tests on him. Well that has happened and tomorrow we get the results but his specialist has warned us, he has all the classic symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer and we will be lucky if he has a couple of months left to live.
Since New Year I have been Nan’s career as well as working full time and holding my own family together. It’s been interesting to say the least. My day usually consists of getting up and going to work, coming home, throwing together a meal for the family, going to nans at 6.30pm and doing what she needs me to do. I am usually out of there by 8pm and then I go to the hospital and take pop a meal as he wont eat the hospital food, I am usually home by 10pm.
It makes for a long day but I know it will only be for a month or two at the most. We are organizing a place in a nursing home for Nan today and tomorrow afternoon we will know exactly where we stand with Pop and then can make plans from there.
One of the options being discussed is Paul and I renting Nan and Pops house at a reduced rate until Nan passes away. It has it’s pros and cons, the pros being saving money mostly so we can buy our own house and the cons are all emotions and too hard to list at this stage.
At the moment I am angry. I am angry that pop is dying. I hurt for Nan who has made her peace with the world and is in constant pain and can’t imagine a world without Pop in it. She would like to be in his place and to be honest, although I don’t want either of them dead, the fair thing would be for her to be in his place. This woman lives for cooking, cleaning and sewing and she can no longer do any of those. It wasn’t so bad for her before as Pop was doing it and so no one knew how bad it was, now that I am caring for her and she has to let me know what she can and can’t do, a little piece of her dignity is dying each day. It is a horrible thing to bare witness to.
Paul and I have organised a lap top for Pop it should arrive this week. We have taken photos of all of his tools and Paul is hoping to collect the stories behind them. He also wrote a book which we are going to put on there and see if he can ad anything to it. My plan is to then have it all bound to give to each family member with his stories in it and photos etc.
I have also taken a leave of absence from my coven for the moment as there are just not enough hours in the day to get everything done. I will reassess things at the end of January and then depending on how we go I may take another month. I guess this is to let you all know I am taking a leave of absence here as well. I am reading, not noting though, this is my escape place, unfortunately the escape doesn’t last long enough to note also, but I am here in a round about kinda way.
8 January 2008...
Tomorrow we meet with the specialist to find out the test results. It is the one time when I wish tomorrow would never come and we could just live in ignorance a bit longer...
10 January 2008...
The Good
Pop potentially could have 12 months up his sleeve. He starts Chemo today
The Bad
Pop goes home on Friday. Nan thinks she doesn’t have to go into a home. We are going to have a shit fight on our hands
The Ugly
I feel like a train wreck today, my eyes are puffy, I am exhausted, on the verge of curling up in a ball and crying…pmt is a bitch
Over all though, I am happy. We thought we had week and it turns out we have months. We have been given time and for that I am thankful.
11 January 2008
My old boss called me today and offered me a position back with him as a senior consultant and a 20k pay rise. I am excited and scared out of my brains all at the same time. Part of me says grab it, the other says stay where I am. I feel like crying from the confusion.
20k though...I would be mad to turn it down. And I loved working for him. he was the best boss I ever had. But I love where I am now as well. I work with a fantastic team.
Argh....need to sleep on it...lots
Too much going on.
Today
Today I have Lil and Pixie here and soon we will eat yummy food and talk and catch up...it will be good. I am grandparent free tonight and tomorrow night. The break is most welcomed.
Still waiting for my new contract so I am a bit in limbo at the moment.
And last but not least it is too freaking hot.
There I am all caught up!
17 December 2007
We went and spent some time with Nan and Pop on Sunday. Normally we have set places where we are expected to sit when we visit (they are creatures of habit!) Yesterday Pop threw the seating plan out by deciding that he wanted to sit next to me so that he was between Paul and I rather than have Paul next to me. He kept looking at me and smiling and patting my arm. Damn I love that man. I baked him some muffins which he loved and hid some in the fridge for him cause Nan would only let him have one. When we left I gave him a huge hug and told him I loved him to which he replied "I love your hugs more!" Bless!
Today we have bought him a laptop. We should get it just after Christmas. It will give him something to do and also allow Paul to spend some extra time with him helping to set it up. We are going to put them on a plan where they can call over east for free via the net so he can speak to the kids and grand kids over there any time he wants.
Last night we put up the Christmas tree, it looks a little crowded with all the decorations. I will get some pics and show you. We took Zac to buy his Christmas Tree Decorations. He chose some nice ones again. he should have quite a collection by the time he finally leaves home.
I am looking forward to Christmas, I wish I had some more time off other than the public holidays but I can't complain.
7 January 2008...
The below was written on New Years Eve…
Merry Christmas All!
Yes I know this is a little late, but I am finally in air con (back at work) and my brain has firmed up again from the melted mush that it was over the past few days. Christmas day was around the 41 degree mark and Boxing Day I think was 43 or 44 degrees! And we have no air-conditioning. I think Paul is fixing it today though and buying a portable unit so we can all get some sleep!
Christmas day was lovely. Zac got a mountain of presents, when I get home I will put in a couple of pics to prove that Mountain is not an exaggeration! The highlight would have been the DS Nintendo Light he received from his Cousins who cam to visit us last month from the UK. He also got Lego and Macarno plus Hot Wheels and various other bits and pieces.
I got a lovely bracelet and some earrings, perfume, singstar and some weird dolphin statue from my mother (I am starting to wonder about her)
Paul got Guitar Hero 3, Transformers DVD, Biscuits and earlier he got a new computer.
Santa was good to us
We then had breakfast and eventually headed over to see Paul’s family for Lunch. His mum’s house is air-conditioned so we were in no rush to leave and it was lovely sitting around talking with them. Nan and Pop were there as well
I then got a phone call saying they were putting pop into hospital and I haven’t had a chance to finish writing this since then. Pop’s leg had swollen really badly (kidneys shutting down) and his liver was enlarged. They wanted to start running some tests on him. Well that has happened and tomorrow we get the results but his specialist has warned us, he has all the classic symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer and we will be lucky if he has a couple of months left to live.
Since New Year I have been Nan’s career as well as working full time and holding my own family together. It’s been interesting to say the least. My day usually consists of getting up and going to work, coming home, throwing together a meal for the family, going to nans at 6.30pm and doing what she needs me to do. I am usually out of there by 8pm and then I go to the hospital and take pop a meal as he wont eat the hospital food, I am usually home by 10pm.
It makes for a long day but I know it will only be for a month or two at the most. We are organizing a place in a nursing home for Nan today and tomorrow afternoon we will know exactly where we stand with Pop and then can make plans from there.
One of the options being discussed is Paul and I renting Nan and Pops house at a reduced rate until Nan passes away. It has it’s pros and cons, the pros being saving money mostly so we can buy our own house and the cons are all emotions and too hard to list at this stage.
At the moment I am angry. I am angry that pop is dying. I hurt for Nan who has made her peace with the world and is in constant pain and can’t imagine a world without Pop in it. She would like to be in his place and to be honest, although I don’t want either of them dead, the fair thing would be for her to be in his place. This woman lives for cooking, cleaning and sewing and she can no longer do any of those. It wasn’t so bad for her before as Pop was doing it and so no one knew how bad it was, now that I am caring for her and she has to let me know what she can and can’t do, a little piece of her dignity is dying each day. It is a horrible thing to bare witness to.
Paul and I have organised a lap top for Pop it should arrive this week. We have taken photos of all of his tools and Paul is hoping to collect the stories behind them. He also wrote a book which we are going to put on there and see if he can ad anything to it. My plan is to then have it all bound to give to each family member with his stories in it and photos etc.
I have also taken a leave of absence from my coven for the moment as there are just not enough hours in the day to get everything done. I will reassess things at the end of January and then depending on how we go I may take another month. I guess this is to let you all know I am taking a leave of absence here as well. I am reading, not noting though, this is my escape place, unfortunately the escape doesn’t last long enough to note also, but I am here in a round about kinda way.
8 January 2008...
Tomorrow we meet with the specialist to find out the test results. It is the one time when I wish tomorrow would never come and we could just live in ignorance a bit longer...
10 January 2008...
The Good
Pop potentially could have 12 months up his sleeve. He starts Chemo today
The Bad
Pop goes home on Friday. Nan thinks she doesn’t have to go into a home. We are going to have a shit fight on our hands
The Ugly
I feel like a train wreck today, my eyes are puffy, I am exhausted, on the verge of curling up in a ball and crying…pmt is a bitch
Over all though, I am happy. We thought we had week and it turns out we have months. We have been given time and for that I am thankful.
11 January 2008
My old boss called me today and offered me a position back with him as a senior consultant and a 20k pay rise. I am excited and scared out of my brains all at the same time. Part of me says grab it, the other says stay where I am. I feel like crying from the confusion.
20k though...I would be mad to turn it down. And I loved working for him. he was the best boss I ever had. But I love where I am now as well. I work with a fantastic team.
Argh....need to sleep on it...lots
Too much going on.
Today
Today I have Lil and Pixie here and soon we will eat yummy food and talk and catch up...it will be good. I am grandparent free tonight and tomorrow night. The break is most welcomed.
Still waiting for my new contract so I am a bit in limbo at the moment.
And last but not least it is too freaking hot.
There I am all caught up!