shinee, onkey (1/2)
anonymous
December 12 2010, 14:07:03 UTC
jinki is sure it's kind of wrong to feel this way, but he can't help it. all these years he's worked so hard to earn kibum's love that when kibum finally gives his heart to him, wholly and unconditionally, he isn't sure what to do next.
what do you do with a person's heart, anyway? lock it up in a glass container and admire it from the living room couch? display it to the world for all to see, like some sort of hard-earned prize trophy? hide it in your deepest cabinet so that no one can take it from you
( ... )
Re: shinee, onkey (2/2)
anonymous
December 12 2010, 14:08:41 UTC
kibum stares at him incredulously, brain working furiously to comprehend jinki's blabbering. "wait," he holds up his hand, effectively putting a stop to jinki's ranting, "you don't know how to take care of my heart?"
"...well, i've never owned someone else's before. i haven't really had a lot of practice with one, so i don't really know what to do with it--"
"do you want me to take it back?" kibum asks irritably, reaching out for his heart.
"no! no, i like having your heart!" jinki yells, unnecessarily loudly, and flushes upon realizing what he had exclaimed.
kibum gives him one of those what-am-i-going-to-do-with-you looks and sits down on the couch next to him. jinki relaxes a little, but holds the heart warily, expecting kibum to snatch it out of his hands at any moment
( ... )
Re: shinee, onkey (2/2)
anonymous
December 12 2010, 14:12:49 UTC
OMG anon this is so cute i just realized how much i miss reading onkey :( omg ;____;
first of all this literal taking of hearts idea is beyond adorable, i'm in love with that ♥
and then your descriptions, your tone, it's all so lovely
it's looking a little paler than usual, fluttering slowly against his palm, and jinki wonders if he should have watered it every day.
:( this is so cute :( i like the ideas you associate with everything, the looking for self-help books, the preciousness of the entire piece.
and then:
"no, don't take it back!" jinki wails.
"i'm not going to take it back!" kibum frowns. "when i gave it to you, i gave it to you completely! i'm not the kind of person who takes back gifts, you know!"this just makes so much sense to me, this dialogue right here. kibum being a person that does things completely and jinki not knowing what to do with the heart but not wanting to give it back and ugh ♥ my heart ;___; also the ending omg ;________________________; precious
( ... )
Re: shinee, onkey (2/2)
anonymous
December 12 2010, 14:19:08 UTC
eeeee thank you, anon! ♥
i'll have to give credit to diana wynne jones for that. i've recently gotten into howl's moving castle and the idea somehow wormed its way onto here, haha.
i'm really glad you liked it! i haven't written in a while, so i feel awfully rusty and i had all these doubts about how jinki and kibum turned out, but i'm happy you got the feelings the story was trying to convey and that you enjoyed it! ♥
Re: shinee, onkey (2/2)
anonymous
December 12 2010, 14:38:51 UTC
negl this so bad im just gonna give you a pat for your effort on going for combining cute and what i assume to be an attempt at purple prose. no sane person will openly engage in a conversation about "taking care of one's heart", unless s/he's intentionally going for playful banter. which in all honesty i think key would never ever be caught doing, let alone with onew of all people.
Re: shinee, onkey (2/2)
anonymous
December 12 2010, 14:44:28 UTC
it wasn't really an attempt at purple prose - i think i was going more for fantasy/surreal, but i guess the situation is too far removed for a kpop fic considering it was still kind of based in a real situation. thank you for your honest opinion!
Re: shinee, onkey (2/2)
anonymous
December 12 2010, 17:04:16 UTC
"i'm not going to take it back!" kibum frowns. "when i gave it to you, i gave it to you completely! i'm not the kind of person who takes back gifts, you know!"
"i'm sure you aren't," jinki murmurs, but it's like a burden has been lifted from his chest. his own heart feels infinitely lighter, and the feeling is so strange and wonderful that he doesn't protest when kibum gently lifts his heart out of his palms and cradles it between his.
"if you're so worried about what to do with it, why don't we exchange?" kibum offers shyly. "that way, you'll only have one heart to take care of, and... yeah."
jinki stares at him in wonderment. his heart beats furiously against his ribcage, demanding to be freed. "that sounds like a good idea."
i... i... glares at you anon WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME
why is onkey doing this to me??? ;~; what am i to do with my own heart?
2pm, taeckhun
anonymous
December 12 2010, 14:17:10 UTC
"stop," khun gasps, arching up, but taecyeon doesn't. his teeth drag across khun's throat and then down, to a chest that khun knows is just as pale but nowhere near as defined, to legs that khun knows are just as lean, but far too long.
taecyeon reaches out, rubs and then tugs, and khun moans. taecyeon leans over him, grins--and then it disappears, something like realisation crossing his features. he blinks, frowns, lets go, moves away so there's no contact. like it would kill him if there was.
khun is used to this. he wishes he wasn't. he sits up, dares to get closer.
"stop," khun says, reaching over, but taecyeon doesn't.
first time in a challenge, and this was all i got ;___; based off the second prompt, but idk
kibum doesn't think anything of it. jonghyun's adoring gazes, the fingers that splay across the back of his neck, straying to play with the metal in his ears- he's used to all of that. when he goes to the jongkey couple forum (just for laughs- there are seriously some insane people there) and fans call jonghyun a lovesick puppy, kibum laughs at how it's all so true. "that's right," he says to himself, swelling a bit in self-importance
( ... )
( ... )
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what do you do with a person's heart, anyway? lock it up in a glass container and admire it from the living room couch? display it to the world for all to see, like some sort of hard-earned prize trophy? hide it in your deepest cabinet so that no one can take it from you ( ... )
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"...well, i've never owned someone else's before. i haven't really had a lot of practice with one, so i don't really know what to do with it--"
"do you want me to take it back?" kibum asks irritably, reaching out for his heart.
"no! no, i like having your heart!" jinki yells, unnecessarily loudly, and flushes upon realizing what he had exclaimed.
kibum gives him one of those what-am-i-going-to-do-with-you looks and sits down on the couch next to him. jinki relaxes a little, but holds the heart warily, expecting kibum to snatch it out of his hands at any moment ( ... )
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first of all this literal taking of hearts idea is beyond adorable, i'm in love with that ♥
and then your descriptions, your tone, it's all so lovely
it's looking a little paler than usual, fluttering slowly against his palm, and jinki wonders if he should have watered it every day.
:( this is so cute :( i like the ideas you associate with everything, the looking for self-help books, the preciousness of the entire piece.
and then:
"no, don't take it back!" jinki wails.
"i'm not going to take it back!" kibum frowns. "when i gave it to you, i gave it to you completely! i'm not the kind of person who takes back gifts, you know!"this just makes so much sense to me, this dialogue right here. kibum being a person that does things completely and jinki not knowing what to do with the heart but not wanting to give it back and ugh ♥ my heart ;___; also the ending omg ;________________________; precious ( ... )
Reply
i'll have to give credit to diana wynne jones for that. i've recently gotten into howl's moving castle and the idea somehow wormed its way onto here, haha.
i'm really glad you liked it! i haven't written in a while, so i feel awfully rusty and i had all these doubts about how jinki and kibum turned out, but i'm happy you got the feelings the story was trying to convey and that you enjoyed it! ♥
/waters your heart lovingly ;3;
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but thank you so much, eeeee ♥
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"i'm sure you aren't," jinki murmurs, but it's like a burden has been lifted from his chest. his own heart feels infinitely lighter, and the feeling is so strange and wonderful that he doesn't protest when kibum gently lifts his heart out of his palms and cradles it between his.
"if you're so worried about what to do with it, why don't we exchange?" kibum offers shyly. "that way, you'll only have one heart to take care of, and... yeah."
jinki stares at him in wonderment. his heart beats furiously against his ribcage, demanding to be freed. "that sounds like a good idea."
i... i... glares at you anon WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME
why is onkey doing this to me??? ;~; what am i to do with my own heart?
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taecyeon reaches out, rubs and then tugs, and khun moans. taecyeon leans over him, grins--and then it disappears, something like realisation crossing his features. he blinks, frowns, lets go, moves away so there's no contact. like it would kill him if there was.
khun is used to this. he wishes he wasn't. he sits up, dares to get closer.
"stop," khun says, reaching over, but taecyeon doesn't.
first time in a challenge, and this was all i got ;___; based off the second prompt, but idk
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despite my disagreeing with your characterization of key, this still made me really, really sad.
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