(no subject)
so by now i pretty much have a lifetime membership to the "case of the mondays" club. and i don't even get a pin for it! what the heck is up with that?
i've had not one, but TWO phone hugs this week, and that's usually my quota for about the year.
school is a foreign language to me. i really really really really really hope i pass all of my classes.
in good news:
briank is coming home a wee bit earlier than expected!!! the only information i have about this is locked up in one 30-second message, so i'm still not sure where exactly he's flying into (hopefully here) or what time (hopefully a time i don't have class), but i'm SO excited to see him. at this point, it's almost surreal. he's been gone so long, i wonder how he's changed (how i've changed? certainly not for the better). i feel dizzy.
i officially have my apartment! it's a little studio in venice, about a block-ish from the beach. i got the keys yesterday, and that made me feel like a grown-up. in a way that made me sad, because that means i'm growing up, but it also made me sad because i'm still pretending. this is a weird stage of life. i move in saturday.
cashew y margot are flying in tonight to visit!! we're going to have an extremely (oh god i think i spelled that wrong and i already re-typed it about 6 times) full house, as my apt.mate's boyfriend was supposed to leave very early this morning, but something happened. i can't remember what because i was half asleep when they told me. there's already been tension, so i hope that tension goes away! who talks like this. gross.
sometimes.... i can look at myself and say "you know what, i'm not so bad. there are good things about me, and i'm doing some good things." lately, though, none of that has been apparent to me. and i've always been very swing-y with regards to this, so i'm used to days and weeks, but it's been more and more permanent lately, and i don't think i like that. do i need to change me or my mental state. probably both. one has to open up before the other can react. there are just so many things i'd want to change that it's difficult to know where to begin. i think ending this awful, painful, looong, useless, crappy semester will be a start. but there are still 2 weeks, 2 days left, and i'm hanging on by little more than the idea of a prayer.
my sleep patterns have been off the wall lately. mostly just because i've been sleeping so much. i'll wake up fairly early, between 6 and 8 (except the day this week that i didn't wake up until 11:30), and be super awake, and then i'll get drop dead tired in the middle of the day (including a lovely moment yesterday morning when i was sitting outside the classics department reading plato for class and fell asleep, waking up about 20 minutes after class had started; and last week actually falling asleep in contemporary africa, waking up to my professor asking me if i wanted to go home. at least it wasn't embarassing!!! oh, wait....), so i'll nap in the middle of the day too, and then i'll get home at night, around 9 or 10, depending, and i'll be tired again, so i'll *nap* off and on until i finally decide to give in to sleep. ew! i'm a senior citizen!
it seems my world has gotten very small. or i've made it that way. spring has never been good for me.
performance week. last night was opening night...it went all right.
shoobbby doo woppp, doo weeeee, doo woppp, ba da bop bop bop bop heeey hey
i've had not one, but TWO phone hugs this week, and that's usually my quota for about the year.
school is a foreign language to me. i really really really really really hope i pass all of my classes.
in good news:
briank is coming home a wee bit earlier than expected!!! the only information i have about this is locked up in one 30-second message, so i'm still not sure where exactly he's flying into (hopefully here) or what time (hopefully a time i don't have class), but i'm SO excited to see him. at this point, it's almost surreal. he's been gone so long, i wonder how he's changed (how i've changed? certainly not for the better). i feel dizzy.
i officially have my apartment! it's a little studio in venice, about a block-ish from the beach. i got the keys yesterday, and that made me feel like a grown-up. in a way that made me sad, because that means i'm growing up, but it also made me sad because i'm still pretending. this is a weird stage of life. i move in saturday.
cashew y margot are flying in tonight to visit!! we're going to have an extremely (oh god i think i spelled that wrong and i already re-typed it about 6 times) full house, as my apt.mate's boyfriend was supposed to leave very early this morning, but something happened. i can't remember what because i was half asleep when they told me. there's already been tension, so i hope that tension goes away! who talks like this. gross.
sometimes.... i can look at myself and say "you know what, i'm not so bad. there are good things about me, and i'm doing some good things." lately, though, none of that has been apparent to me. and i've always been very swing-y with regards to this, so i'm used to days and weeks, but it's been more and more permanent lately, and i don't think i like that. do i need to change me or my mental state. probably both. one has to open up before the other can react. there are just so many things i'd want to change that it's difficult to know where to begin. i think ending this awful, painful, looong, useless, crappy semester will be a start. but there are still 2 weeks, 2 days left, and i'm hanging on by little more than the idea of a prayer.
my sleep patterns have been off the wall lately. mostly just because i've been sleeping so much. i'll wake up fairly early, between 6 and 8 (except the day this week that i didn't wake up until 11:30), and be super awake, and then i'll get drop dead tired in the middle of the day (including a lovely moment yesterday morning when i was sitting outside the classics department reading plato for class and fell asleep, waking up about 20 minutes after class had started; and last week actually falling asleep in contemporary africa, waking up to my professor asking me if i wanted to go home. at least it wasn't embarassing!!! oh, wait....), so i'll nap in the middle of the day too, and then i'll get home at night, around 9 or 10, depending, and i'll be tired again, so i'll *nap* off and on until i finally decide to give in to sleep. ew! i'm a senior citizen!
it seems my world has gotten very small. or i've made it that way. spring has never been good for me.
performance week. last night was opening night...it went all right.
shoobbby doo woppp, doo weeeee, doo woppp, ba da bop bop bop bop heeey hey