How It Always Should Have Been Chapter 4/??
American Idol 8 RPF: How It Always Should Have Been Chapter 4/?
Author: glambertgalore
Pairing: Kradam, who else?
Summary: How Kradam finally got together and their lives after.
Rating: NC-17 overall
Warnings: Angst, cuz that's how I like to roll.
Beta: My wonderfully supportive friend laurahellomoto
Disclaimer: I do not know these people, and this was just done for fun, and no profit. If you got here by googling yourself or someone you know, for the love of every deity I do not believe in, leave now.
Master Post For This Fic:
http://glambertgalore.livejournal.com/1693.html
Author's Notes: Posting will be sporadic. I have started a blog in response to the recent rash of suicides by bullied youth. It takes precedence over everything except school. If you'd like to come talk, or if you or someone you know needs a safe haven, or would like to help, please visit.
http://stopthehatestopthehurt.wordpress.com
Thanks!
How It Always Should Have Been Chapter 4/?
Adam rolled out of bed, leaving a sleeping Kris naked and gorgeous atop black satin sheets on his oak California King. He went into the bathroom to relieve himself, debating whether or not to wake Kris. He hated to ruin post coital bliss, but they definitely had to talk. As happy as Adam was that he had Kris forever, they had to talk about how to handle their coming out, as well as dealing with Kris’s friends, church, and family back in Arkansas. Adam had no doubt that Kris’s parents loved both of them; however, Adam had reservations about whether or not Kim and Neil Allen’s love for him would stretch to his wooing and seducing their own son.
After he was done in the bathroom, Adam went to wake Kris. They could not keep putting this off; it was better to get it over with so that they could get on with their lives.
“Baby,” Adam cooed softly. Wake up. I know it’s late, but we have to talk. We should probably call your family and the label tomorrow.”
“Mmmmm, you’re right,” Kris said sleepily. “Except Mama and Daddy already know. They knew before I did. They didn’t want Katy and me to get married in the first place. Mama has known I was gay since I was a kid, Adam,” Kris said, staring at Adam with wide, but now fully awake, brown eyes from his spot on the bed. “She used to always assure me that she’d be ok with it. They aren’t happy about the potential scandal, and they are even less happy about what the fans will say. That I hid this so that I could take the title from you. That isn’t true, you know it isn’t, but that is what everyone will think, and we can’t stop them. The Glamberts will have a field day with this.”
“Kris, I actually maneuvered statements about my then- friendship with you into my fan club live chat. Roughly seventy percent of the Glamberts are over all that. Now, whether this relationship will re- open old wounds and make them feel even more cheated than ever, I do not know. But I am willing to bet that by the end of the month, all those Adommy fans will be Kradam fans.” Adam smiled at Kris, relieved that he had taken care of the part that Adam had been most worried about. He wouldn’t have ever been able to bear losing the love and respect of Kim and Neil Allen, having them look at him with disgust. Now he that he knew that would not happen, he was breathing a lot easier. The Glamberts and the Allens had been the two biggest hurdles. Now that they had been jumped, they could concentrate on the label. He did have a thing or two to ask Kris about his grand revelations and what he expected to come of all this though.
Adam hesitated, then took a deep breath, asking the question that he did not want to ask, but had to have the answer to. ”How did you know, Kris? I mean, I am sure being married to a woman for all that time, and now being with me, that you’d be pretty confused about all this.” Adam waited patiently for Kris to find the words, like always.
“I don’t think I ever didn’t know, Adam,” Kris said softly. “I just didn’t know how to be gay, if that makes any sense. I come from a town and a church and a circle of friends that make fun of that sort of thing. All the gay jokes, the way the kids that were suspected of that were treated at school. I was terrified.” Kris wasn’t looking at Adam. He was looking down, clearly on the verge of tears.
Adam waited. He hoped he wasn’t pushing his lover too far. He hesitated, then said, “I know this is painful, but this is me. You don’t have to ever be afraid with me, you know that, right?”
The tears that had been threatening to fall finally spilled down Kris’s cheeks and he stammered, “I know. I just, I guess I always knew. You’re gonna have to pretty much teach me how to be gay. I’ve never been to a gay club. I don’t know how to be politically correct about it. I don’t know how to come out of the closet or stand my ground or let go of the so- called friends that will hate me when they find out. I don’t know how to change my whole life, but I know that it is the only way to be who I was always meant to be.”
Adam was relieved at the flood of words. Who knew how long Kris had been holding it all in? Probably his entire life. For what felt like the millionth time since he had come out to his parents, Adam thanked the universe that he had a loving support network and that he was secure in who and what he was and had been for years. He wouldn’t wish what Kris was going through right now on his worst enemy. That kind of heart wrenching turmoil was necessary to get to the point of healing, understanding, and acceptance, but it was agonizing. The worst part was that all Adam could do was sit back and let Kris work things out on his own, and be by his side, waiting to pick up the pieces when he fell apart.
Kris was crying in earnest now. “Look at what I did, Adam,” he sobbed. “I let everyone down. I lied to myself, to my wife, to my fans. What will they all say?”
Adam knew that this self- loathing was all part of the process, but Kris’s suddenly distraught state was a little alarming. He took a deep breath and decided to try to talk Kris down at least a notch or two. Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, Adam said, “Baby, you didn’t lie to anyone. Maybe you had talked yourself into believing you could take the easy way out and marry the woman everyone expected you to marry and live happily ever after, or at least contently ever after. At the time we were on the show, you were married. What were you supposed to do, say, ‘Hi, America, this is my beard, Katy.’”
Kris actually chuckled through his tears at that, to Adam’s relief. That had been his intention.
“I guess you’re right, Adam,” Kris said, sniffling. His sobs had finally subsided. “I couldn’t have told anyone before now. I know there will be a few people- maybe even more than a few- who will not like this at all. But I also know that it is right. We’ll get through it though. For now, I’m exhausted though. Can we go to sleep? We should get up at a decent hour and call the label. And your mom too.”
Adam was relieved that Kris seemed to be thinking rationally after his outburst.”Yeah, you’re right. Bedtime. We should take care of the logistics of this situation as quickly as possible so we can get on with our lives. What do you say to a nice magazine coming out, and then laying low while we write for those albums? Maybe even take a break, go somewhere. Would you like that?” Adam was rubbing soothing circles into Kris’s back, waiting for his answer. He’d love to take his boyfriend somewhere exotic, with white sand beaches, lots of cocktails, and, most importantly, no fans or paparazzi.
“I’d love that,” Kris answered almost immediately. “But can we make a pit stop in Arkansas first? I want to come out to my town first.”
Adam had been afraid of that. He didn’t want Kris to have to endure too much pain from the homophobes, but it was necessary for him to come out to the people he had known his entire life. He’d just have to be right there with Kris, ready to leave at a moment’s notice if things got to be too heated. “Of course we can, baby,” he said soothingly. “Anything you want.”
And with that, Adam settled Kris under the covers and they drifted off to sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms like lovers do.