Fic: Home is...where? (5/?)
This chapter was a bit delayed by the flu, and the epic Kradam finale (American Idol? What's that, I was watching the Kradam show.)which was so full of win/sadness that I just couldn't stand it. Oddly enough, reading back over this, I seem to have been building up towards Kris winning, despite voting for Adam. Go fig XD Well, it works out. Short chapter is short, so next chapter can be epic. I hope.
Title: Home is... where? (5/?)
Author: Ellelee
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: pg-13 this time
Summary: Summary: A day back home causes Kris some confusion, and returning to the mansion doesn't make it any better.
Previous chapters found Here
Then Adam was back to being Adam, and there was a lazy grin aimed at him that he could barely open his eyes to see.
"Told you it'd be messy."
~~~~~
He understood how Adam had gotten him into the bath; there was no way he was going to sleep in that condition. The second he had felt that warmth, a sticky testament to what they'd done, dribbling down his thighs, he hadn't been able to get out of the bed fast enough.
Adam's delighted laughter, and then the man himself, followed Kris into the bathroom. And somehow, while Kris had been on the verge of a small meltdown, Adam had taken his face in both hands, kissed him, and talked him into a bath.
The mystery was that that bath involved him nestled between Adam's thighs, his back to the other man's chest while he soaked, waist-deep in water that was just shy of scalding.
He suspected the kiss had done it. There had to be some sort of hypnotic mind control involved in the way Adam kissed. It was the only thing that explained why he was hunched forwards, practically bent in half in the tub, while Adam's hand caressed his lower back under the guise of cleaning him.
Though he couldn't deny that it felt great to have those hands rubbing away the tension. But pretty much everything Adam did to him was amazing, so that was no surprise.
He still couldn't quite believe that he had actually had sex with Adam. And he was doing everything he could not to think about why that made him the worst kind of slime.
"Sore, baby?"
Adam's voice was an unfair weapon, on and off the idol stage. It was sweet and crooning, and got under your skin almost effortlessly. And having that voice call him 'baby' was baffling and incredible.
"Mmm... Little bit."
There had been a lingering ache in his lower back after he'd fled to the bathroom, but Adam's hands had more than banished it. Still, he wasn't nearly slow enough to pass up a marvelous opportunity. Adam had the most amazing hands.
"When we get out, I'll give you a real massage."
Jackpot. Letting out a low purr of appreciation, he finally sat back against Adam again, shivering at the warmth of the man behind him. It almost seemed natural to just enjoy it. To close his eyes and wallow in the attention he wasn't used to. It just... it felt so good, to have those large hands running over his skin. He looked down at them, now wrapped around his waist. Those nine painted nails. Smiling just a little, he laid his right hand over Adam's, comparing their thumbs.
There was still something so weird about seeing that nail polish on his own hand. But, next to Adam's unpainted thumb, it warmed him. A piece of Adam with him, huh? Yeah, he liked that thought.
"What's on your mind?"
Adam's lips were at his ear, breath tickling him, and he shivered, jabbing the man in the stomach with his elbow playfully. He knew the older man was absolutely doing that to him on purpose.
"I was just thinking... that now I really got a piece of you."
There was a startled silence, then he could feel the larger man shaking behind him, small snicker-like sounds escaping. Kris felt his own lips twitching. Yeah, that had been a really bad thing to say. But he hadn't been able to help himself.
Adam's laughter was spilling out, uncontrollably now, echoing in the tiled room. It was a nice sound, musical and rich and absolutely genuine. He wished he could tilt his head back enough to see his face.
"Oh, shut up." He huffed, trying not to chuckle himself. His cheeks were probably permanently stained red by now. Just thinking about how he had 'had a piece of Adam' made him want to squirm. That was going to take some time to seem real. If it ever did.
Adam's arms tightened around him, and he shifted a little, craning his neck as he attempted to look back at him. The older male was grinning widely, unrestrained.
"Cutie, you could have any piece of me you want, anytime." He laughed, and Kris smacked his arm, since it was the easiest thing to reach. But he was grinning himself, closing his eyes as he relaxed against Adam's body.
It was nice like this. Really nice. He really hoped that tomorrow wasn't going to be the end of this time with Adam. He wasn't ready to let go yet.
He wasn't sure how long they lingered in the tub, though the water had cooled to a less dangerous temperature, and at one point Adam pulled down the extending shower head, turning on the water to wash his hair for him.
As he felt the older man's fingers running over his scalp, massaging in the shampoo, and then the conditioner he'd insisted on using, he thought he understood why Adam liked having his hair done so much. There was something really nice about having someone's hands in his hair. Or maybe it was just Adam's hands.
Yeah, probably just that.
When his hair was clean, and the water now tepid, they finally got out of the tub, which was not as easy as he might have thought with the two of them wedged in it together. It had involved some slipping, some unintentional grabbing, and, like many other things, ended with Adam laughing heartily at him, and him looking like ridiculous.
He liked to think he was getting used to that though.
Toweling off, and joking with the man, he was grinning until he turned to look at the counter, and saw his wedding ring glinting at him accusingly. Frowning slightly, he picked it up to look at it.
When he'd bought it had represented so much. A home, a family, a life. His entire future spread out in front of him.
With Katy.
Now it looked like a chain, and he felt horrible for even feeling that way. What was wrong with him? He had a wonderful wife, a wonderful home and family, and his future was looking pretty damn good. So why was he fooling around with his gay roommate, to hell with the consequences?
He blinked, startled, when Adam plucked the ring out of his fingers. The taller male looked surprisingly sober, and maybe just a little sad.
"Don't worry, Kris. It's not real. Remember?"
Adam's smile seemed a little wan, and Kris' stomach tightened as he stared up at him. He wished it could be that simple. He really, really did.
"You keep saying that. Just who are you trying to convince?"
Adam took his left hand, and Kris' breath hitched in his throat as the older man slid his wedding ring back onto his finger. Oh... Oh that wasn't fair. That swift punch to the gut he felt when those decorated fingers put that ring on him. It simply wasn't fair. In fact, it felt downright devastating.
And Adam's smile nearly broke him. It was weak, sad, and just a little bit tremulous.
"Me. If it's not real, then it doesn't have to hurt when it's over." He just stared, breathless, as Adam kissed the backs of his fingers, then let his hand go, heading back out into the bedroom.
Defenseless, Kris just stared after him, then looked down at his hand. The gold band on his finger seemed to have lost most of its shine. Clenching his fist slightly, he headed back out to the bedroom, towel around his waist, and looked at Adam. The man was turning down the covers on his own bed, and Kris bit his lower lip. It took him a moment to bolster himself before he moved to him, wrapping his arms around the older male's waist from behind.
He felt Adam jump, and was pleased he had surprised him for once, instead of the other way around.
"Tonight's not over yet." He mumbled, pressing his forehead to Adam's back, feeling the tense line of it. It helped, to know that he wasn't the only one worried, to know that Adam wasn't always as confident as he appeared.
Adam was silent for a moment, then turned around, smiling down at him. Thankfully that smile wasn't nearly so heartbreaking this time.
"No, it's not."
"And my sheets need washing. There's no way I'm sleeping on them."
Now Adam laughed, and some of the painful tension was broken. Grinning at him, he pulled Kris onto his bed with him.
"Well then, I guess we'll just have to share, then."
"I could always take your bed and make you sleep on the floor." He pointed out, pursing his lips as he stared up at the taller man. It was going to annoy him that he always had to tilt his head back to look at him. Did he HAVE to be so tall?
Adam smirked widely at him.
"No you couldn't. But you're welcome to try."
When the alarm went off, Kris blindly attempted to reach out and smack the clock, the way he normally did each morning. Unfortunately, he was in a bed on the opposite side of the room, and rather than reaching for the nightstand, he was reaching towards the wall, and more importantly the man who was currently tangled around him, who's bed he was sharing.
His hand came down on the pillow, but his arm came down on Adam's face, and there was some confused rustling, grumbling, and startled wrestling before Kris finally escaped from the bed, a little wide-eyed, a little breathless, and finally crossed the room to turn off his alarm clock.
Back in bed, Adam had a lazily satisfied look on his face, that might have had something to do with the rather purple splotch that was now forming on Kris' ribcage. Kris shook his head, mind dazed. He hadn't been prepared for actually waking up with Adam. Who would have thought he'd wake up so... well, so ready to take advantage of the situation. His side, where Adam had somehow managed to latch his mouth while they'd tried to untangle themselves under the covers, was still tingling and his heart was racing.
Well, at least he was wide awake. And the nerves of the day began to set in. Was this going to be it for him? Would he have to sit back and watch from the audience as Adam went on to the finals without him?
There was a cold ache inside of him that he couldn't quite push aside. He wasn't ready to go. Wasn't ready for anything, really.
He jumped when he heard a door, then realized Adam had closed himself off in the bathroom for his morning battle, and he sighed, sitting down on the edge of his bed, shaking his head. No matter how this ended, it was all going to be a mess, wasn't it?
He hadn't even been married a full year, and he'd already cheated on his wife. He'd left her, spent months away, and now he'd slept with another guy. there was no way it could work out, no matter what happened. The initial instinct was to keep it secret, pretend it had never happened, and go on with life. But could he really do that? Katy was someone he'd loved for ages. Someone he'd never lied to. How could he keep something like that from her? But if he told her, how could their marriage possibly work? He just didn't know.
Frustrated, and his nerves raw, he got up and got dressed, doing his best to focus on the fact that he was probably going to get cut instead of the fact that he was going to ahve to tell his wife he'd been unfaithful.
And try to figure out how he was supposed to put Adam out of his mind when no one had ever made him feel the kind of pleasure and excitement that Adam had caused in him.
God help him, he didn't know how any of this was going to work.
He dragged himself down to the kitchen for breakfast, making himself some toast. He would be glad to go home when he could have some real toast, with thick white bread, frying in a skillet, and bacon and eggs. Okay, there were definitely some things about home he missed.
By the time he had put away a full plate, Adam finally sauntered into the kitchen, much as he did every morning. But Kris thought there might have been an extra bounce in Adam's step, and an extra shiny glimmer in his eye. He liked to think he was responsible for it.
When Adam looked at him, casually chirped good morning to him as though he hadn't left a hickey on his ribcage that morning, his knowing grin made Kris' stomach flop. He hid his own involuntary grin by sipping his juice.
As Adam chattered at them both, possibly the only sign of nerves the talented singer would ever show, Kris had to wonder, yet again, if this was going to be their last morning. Yes, he knew whoever went on to the top two would be leaving the mansion to stay in a hotel, but those two would still have access to each other, would still be close.
Which one of them wasn't going to see the other two tomorrow? Logic argued it would be him. Adam and Danny were much more powerful artists than he was. And they'd been lauded by the judges from the beginning. He wasn't jealous. They were all very different, after all. But he was terrified of being left behind.
If was rather crazy that he wanted to stay more to be with Adam than to have a shot at winning this competition.
The wait through the show was maddening. He didn't know how a simple hour could feel like eternity. They had all joked through it. Adam teasing him about his 'southern' showing in his hometown package. Comparing their thumbnails, though it was more a means of comforting each other and praying for luck than just passing the time. And Adam's reaction when he'd seen that Elvis-like cape with his name studded on it in rhinestones had been pure delight to watch.
In retrospect, he supposed they had pretty much cut Danny off at the knees, and he'd feel bad for it. But when he'd been announced safe before anyone it felt like the whole world had dropped out from under him. He was floating, but terrified all at once. Then Adam was hugging him, so tight he'd thought he'd never breathe again, and he simply prayed that fate wouldn't be so cruel to cut them apart now. Not that way.
When Adam had been announced the weight of the world fell off him. Another week. They had another week, and they could go through, to the very end, together. It felt like a dream. A wonderful, impossible dream, and he wanted to cry.
How he made it through the end of the show, the interviews, the dinner, he would never know. He'd miss Danny, wished him luck in everything, but, god, he wanted to be alone with Adam and just wallow in his relief. How could he possibly explain how desperately he'd needed these last few days with the man?
They all but dragged each other back to their room, for their final night in the house that was now much too big without any other voices rattling around the halls. It had been a long, exhausting run, and it was so close to the end. But they still had time. They still had time and Kris felt like he could go on running for another month, running on the simple relief he felt that it wasn't over.
Even though they were alone in the house, Adam waited until the door to their room was shut before drawing him tight against him. Adam's hugs were never halfway. You almost felt like you were being absorbed into the man's body. Though this time there was just a hint of desperation to it that he thought he understood perfectly.
Adam's fingers carded through his hair, stroking it, his lips brushed against his temple, his ear, and he could feel soft, ragged breaths against his cheek from time to time. It made him tremble, and his own hands curled, impossibly tight, into the fabric of Adam's striped shirt, unwilling to let go.
"It's not over yet." he mumbled, and hearing the words out loud made his eyes sting. There was still time. Time to figure this all out. Time to brace himself for the end. Time to simply share with Adam, and no one else. He didn't have to share him with anyone else anymore. He hadn't realized that had bothered him until now.
"No.... it's not over yet."
Before he realized he'd been released from the hug, Adam's hands were on his face, and the older man's mouth was on his, hot and desperate, and so very sweet. He didn't think twice about it this time. Leaning up on his toes, he reached up, his hands going into Adam's hair as he kissed him back. Tomorrow he could worry or regret. Or better yet, next week. Right now it was just about this. The man, and the feeling he spurred inside of him.
They were going to be busy later. Very busy, and they both knew it. So they had to take these nights together for all they were worth.
He wasn't even sure whose bed they landed in. It didn't matter. Adam's hands felt like they were everywhere, trying to get him out of his clothes, and he wasn't resisting at all. Adam was like a whirlwind, but he always had been, and he was glad to give himself over to it this time.
When his shirt was gone, somewhere, and Adam's hands were on him, he gasped, his breath choking out of his throat. The memories of last night were there, but somehow they just didn't live up to the actual touch of those hands on his bare skin.
"Adam...."
The larger man loomed over him, his eyes dark, his hair falling in his face. Somehow his hands had managed to screw up all the products the stylist had worked into his hair and it fell in a broken mess. But it looked surprisingly perfect on Adam all the same. Jagged and edgy and oh-so-sexy.
"I love hearing you say my name." Adam breathed out, his voice breaking, just a little. Kris didn't think he had ever heard that happen before. Was thrilled that he could cause it. "Just like that....do it again."
His lips twitched slightly, panting, and he reached up, his fingers toying with one of the man's earrings.
"Adam."
The older male chuckled softly, but it came out sounding something like a groan, and the sound of it rippled through Kris, warming him, overheating him. These moments, these rare little moments where Adam didn't seem so confident, so unmoved, they were priceless.
He thought about that morning, when Adam had slipped the ring onto his finger and murmured his fears of pain and regret, and his heart hurt. There was going to pain when this was over. There was absolutely no fighting it. Quickly, he tugged the ring off his finger, almost carelessly depositing it onto the nightstand before reaching up to grasp the man's face, pulling him back down into another desperate kiss.
There would be pain and regrets, but not tonight. And not tomorrow. They still had time, dammit.
"I need you." He murmured it, half dazed, against Adam's lips, and he felt the man tremble in his arms. Felt the need returned, right back at him.
When Adam pulled back from the kiss, breathless, intent, he stared down at him, and Kris' heart sunk. How could he ever get over this man?
"You have me. All of me."
Title: Home is... where? (5/?)
Author: Ellelee
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: pg-13 this time
Summary: Summary: A day back home causes Kris some confusion, and returning to the mansion doesn't make it any better.
Previous chapters found Here
Then Adam was back to being Adam, and there was a lazy grin aimed at him that he could barely open his eyes to see.
"Told you it'd be messy."
~~~~~
He understood how Adam had gotten him into the bath; there was no way he was going to sleep in that condition. The second he had felt that warmth, a sticky testament to what they'd done, dribbling down his thighs, he hadn't been able to get out of the bed fast enough.
Adam's delighted laughter, and then the man himself, followed Kris into the bathroom. And somehow, while Kris had been on the verge of a small meltdown, Adam had taken his face in both hands, kissed him, and talked him into a bath.
The mystery was that that bath involved him nestled between Adam's thighs, his back to the other man's chest while he soaked, waist-deep in water that was just shy of scalding.
He suspected the kiss had done it. There had to be some sort of hypnotic mind control involved in the way Adam kissed. It was the only thing that explained why he was hunched forwards, practically bent in half in the tub, while Adam's hand caressed his lower back under the guise of cleaning him.
Though he couldn't deny that it felt great to have those hands rubbing away the tension. But pretty much everything Adam did to him was amazing, so that was no surprise.
He still couldn't quite believe that he had actually had sex with Adam. And he was doing everything he could not to think about why that made him the worst kind of slime.
"Sore, baby?"
Adam's voice was an unfair weapon, on and off the idol stage. It was sweet and crooning, and got under your skin almost effortlessly. And having that voice call him 'baby' was baffling and incredible.
"Mmm... Little bit."
There had been a lingering ache in his lower back after he'd fled to the bathroom, but Adam's hands had more than banished it. Still, he wasn't nearly slow enough to pass up a marvelous opportunity. Adam had the most amazing hands.
"When we get out, I'll give you a real massage."
Jackpot. Letting out a low purr of appreciation, he finally sat back against Adam again, shivering at the warmth of the man behind him. It almost seemed natural to just enjoy it. To close his eyes and wallow in the attention he wasn't used to. It just... it felt so good, to have those large hands running over his skin. He looked down at them, now wrapped around his waist. Those nine painted nails. Smiling just a little, he laid his right hand over Adam's, comparing their thumbs.
There was still something so weird about seeing that nail polish on his own hand. But, next to Adam's unpainted thumb, it warmed him. A piece of Adam with him, huh? Yeah, he liked that thought.
"What's on your mind?"
Adam's lips were at his ear, breath tickling him, and he shivered, jabbing the man in the stomach with his elbow playfully. He knew the older man was absolutely doing that to him on purpose.
"I was just thinking... that now I really got a piece of you."
There was a startled silence, then he could feel the larger man shaking behind him, small snicker-like sounds escaping. Kris felt his own lips twitching. Yeah, that had been a really bad thing to say. But he hadn't been able to help himself.
Adam's laughter was spilling out, uncontrollably now, echoing in the tiled room. It was a nice sound, musical and rich and absolutely genuine. He wished he could tilt his head back enough to see his face.
"Oh, shut up." He huffed, trying not to chuckle himself. His cheeks were probably permanently stained red by now. Just thinking about how he had 'had a piece of Adam' made him want to squirm. That was going to take some time to seem real. If it ever did.
Adam's arms tightened around him, and he shifted a little, craning his neck as he attempted to look back at him. The older male was grinning widely, unrestrained.
"Cutie, you could have any piece of me you want, anytime." He laughed, and Kris smacked his arm, since it was the easiest thing to reach. But he was grinning himself, closing his eyes as he relaxed against Adam's body.
It was nice like this. Really nice. He really hoped that tomorrow wasn't going to be the end of this time with Adam. He wasn't ready to let go yet.
He wasn't sure how long they lingered in the tub, though the water had cooled to a less dangerous temperature, and at one point Adam pulled down the extending shower head, turning on the water to wash his hair for him.
As he felt the older man's fingers running over his scalp, massaging in the shampoo, and then the conditioner he'd insisted on using, he thought he understood why Adam liked having his hair done so much. There was something really nice about having someone's hands in his hair. Or maybe it was just Adam's hands.
Yeah, probably just that.
When his hair was clean, and the water now tepid, they finally got out of the tub, which was not as easy as he might have thought with the two of them wedged in it together. It had involved some slipping, some unintentional grabbing, and, like many other things, ended with Adam laughing heartily at him, and him looking like ridiculous.
He liked to think he was getting used to that though.
Toweling off, and joking with the man, he was grinning until he turned to look at the counter, and saw his wedding ring glinting at him accusingly. Frowning slightly, he picked it up to look at it.
When he'd bought it had represented so much. A home, a family, a life. His entire future spread out in front of him.
With Katy.
Now it looked like a chain, and he felt horrible for even feeling that way. What was wrong with him? He had a wonderful wife, a wonderful home and family, and his future was looking pretty damn good. So why was he fooling around with his gay roommate, to hell with the consequences?
He blinked, startled, when Adam plucked the ring out of his fingers. The taller male looked surprisingly sober, and maybe just a little sad.
"Don't worry, Kris. It's not real. Remember?"
Adam's smile seemed a little wan, and Kris' stomach tightened as he stared up at him. He wished it could be that simple. He really, really did.
"You keep saying that. Just who are you trying to convince?"
Adam took his left hand, and Kris' breath hitched in his throat as the older man slid his wedding ring back onto his finger. Oh... Oh that wasn't fair. That swift punch to the gut he felt when those decorated fingers put that ring on him. It simply wasn't fair. In fact, it felt downright devastating.
And Adam's smile nearly broke him. It was weak, sad, and just a little bit tremulous.
"Me. If it's not real, then it doesn't have to hurt when it's over." He just stared, breathless, as Adam kissed the backs of his fingers, then let his hand go, heading back out into the bedroom.
Defenseless, Kris just stared after him, then looked down at his hand. The gold band on his finger seemed to have lost most of its shine. Clenching his fist slightly, he headed back out to the bedroom, towel around his waist, and looked at Adam. The man was turning down the covers on his own bed, and Kris bit his lower lip. It took him a moment to bolster himself before he moved to him, wrapping his arms around the older male's waist from behind.
He felt Adam jump, and was pleased he had surprised him for once, instead of the other way around.
"Tonight's not over yet." He mumbled, pressing his forehead to Adam's back, feeling the tense line of it. It helped, to know that he wasn't the only one worried, to know that Adam wasn't always as confident as he appeared.
Adam was silent for a moment, then turned around, smiling down at him. Thankfully that smile wasn't nearly so heartbreaking this time.
"No, it's not."
"And my sheets need washing. There's no way I'm sleeping on them."
Now Adam laughed, and some of the painful tension was broken. Grinning at him, he pulled Kris onto his bed with him.
"Well then, I guess we'll just have to share, then."
"I could always take your bed and make you sleep on the floor." He pointed out, pursing his lips as he stared up at the taller man. It was going to annoy him that he always had to tilt his head back to look at him. Did he HAVE to be so tall?
Adam smirked widely at him.
"No you couldn't. But you're welcome to try."
When the alarm went off, Kris blindly attempted to reach out and smack the clock, the way he normally did each morning. Unfortunately, he was in a bed on the opposite side of the room, and rather than reaching for the nightstand, he was reaching towards the wall, and more importantly the man who was currently tangled around him, who's bed he was sharing.
His hand came down on the pillow, but his arm came down on Adam's face, and there was some confused rustling, grumbling, and startled wrestling before Kris finally escaped from the bed, a little wide-eyed, a little breathless, and finally crossed the room to turn off his alarm clock.
Back in bed, Adam had a lazily satisfied look on his face, that might have had something to do with the rather purple splotch that was now forming on Kris' ribcage. Kris shook his head, mind dazed. He hadn't been prepared for actually waking up with Adam. Who would have thought he'd wake up so... well, so ready to take advantage of the situation. His side, where Adam had somehow managed to latch his mouth while they'd tried to untangle themselves under the covers, was still tingling and his heart was racing.
Well, at least he was wide awake. And the nerves of the day began to set in. Was this going to be it for him? Would he have to sit back and watch from the audience as Adam went on to the finals without him?
There was a cold ache inside of him that he couldn't quite push aside. He wasn't ready to go. Wasn't ready for anything, really.
He jumped when he heard a door, then realized Adam had closed himself off in the bathroom for his morning battle, and he sighed, sitting down on the edge of his bed, shaking his head. No matter how this ended, it was all going to be a mess, wasn't it?
He hadn't even been married a full year, and he'd already cheated on his wife. He'd left her, spent months away, and now he'd slept with another guy. there was no way it could work out, no matter what happened. The initial instinct was to keep it secret, pretend it had never happened, and go on with life. But could he really do that? Katy was someone he'd loved for ages. Someone he'd never lied to. How could he keep something like that from her? But if he told her, how could their marriage possibly work? He just didn't know.
Frustrated, and his nerves raw, he got up and got dressed, doing his best to focus on the fact that he was probably going to get cut instead of the fact that he was going to ahve to tell his wife he'd been unfaithful.
And try to figure out how he was supposed to put Adam out of his mind when no one had ever made him feel the kind of pleasure and excitement that Adam had caused in him.
God help him, he didn't know how any of this was going to work.
He dragged himself down to the kitchen for breakfast, making himself some toast. He would be glad to go home when he could have some real toast, with thick white bread, frying in a skillet, and bacon and eggs. Okay, there were definitely some things about home he missed.
By the time he had put away a full plate, Adam finally sauntered into the kitchen, much as he did every morning. But Kris thought there might have been an extra bounce in Adam's step, and an extra shiny glimmer in his eye. He liked to think he was responsible for it.
When Adam looked at him, casually chirped good morning to him as though he hadn't left a hickey on his ribcage that morning, his knowing grin made Kris' stomach flop. He hid his own involuntary grin by sipping his juice.
As Adam chattered at them both, possibly the only sign of nerves the talented singer would ever show, Kris had to wonder, yet again, if this was going to be their last morning. Yes, he knew whoever went on to the top two would be leaving the mansion to stay in a hotel, but those two would still have access to each other, would still be close.
Which one of them wasn't going to see the other two tomorrow? Logic argued it would be him. Adam and Danny were much more powerful artists than he was. And they'd been lauded by the judges from the beginning. He wasn't jealous. They were all very different, after all. But he was terrified of being left behind.
If was rather crazy that he wanted to stay more to be with Adam than to have a shot at winning this competition.
The wait through the show was maddening. He didn't know how a simple hour could feel like eternity. They had all joked through it. Adam teasing him about his 'southern' showing in his hometown package. Comparing their thumbnails, though it was more a means of comforting each other and praying for luck than just passing the time. And Adam's reaction when he'd seen that Elvis-like cape with his name studded on it in rhinestones had been pure delight to watch.
In retrospect, he supposed they had pretty much cut Danny off at the knees, and he'd feel bad for it. But when he'd been announced safe before anyone it felt like the whole world had dropped out from under him. He was floating, but terrified all at once. Then Adam was hugging him, so tight he'd thought he'd never breathe again, and he simply prayed that fate wouldn't be so cruel to cut them apart now. Not that way.
When Adam had been announced the weight of the world fell off him. Another week. They had another week, and they could go through, to the very end, together. It felt like a dream. A wonderful, impossible dream, and he wanted to cry.
How he made it through the end of the show, the interviews, the dinner, he would never know. He'd miss Danny, wished him luck in everything, but, god, he wanted to be alone with Adam and just wallow in his relief. How could he possibly explain how desperately he'd needed these last few days with the man?
They all but dragged each other back to their room, for their final night in the house that was now much too big without any other voices rattling around the halls. It had been a long, exhausting run, and it was so close to the end. But they still had time. They still had time and Kris felt like he could go on running for another month, running on the simple relief he felt that it wasn't over.
Even though they were alone in the house, Adam waited until the door to their room was shut before drawing him tight against him. Adam's hugs were never halfway. You almost felt like you were being absorbed into the man's body. Though this time there was just a hint of desperation to it that he thought he understood perfectly.
Adam's fingers carded through his hair, stroking it, his lips brushed against his temple, his ear, and he could feel soft, ragged breaths against his cheek from time to time. It made him tremble, and his own hands curled, impossibly tight, into the fabric of Adam's striped shirt, unwilling to let go.
"It's not over yet." he mumbled, and hearing the words out loud made his eyes sting. There was still time. Time to figure this all out. Time to brace himself for the end. Time to simply share with Adam, and no one else. He didn't have to share him with anyone else anymore. He hadn't realized that had bothered him until now.
"No.... it's not over yet."
Before he realized he'd been released from the hug, Adam's hands were on his face, and the older man's mouth was on his, hot and desperate, and so very sweet. He didn't think twice about it this time. Leaning up on his toes, he reached up, his hands going into Adam's hair as he kissed him back. Tomorrow he could worry or regret. Or better yet, next week. Right now it was just about this. The man, and the feeling he spurred inside of him.
They were going to be busy later. Very busy, and they both knew it. So they had to take these nights together for all they were worth.
He wasn't even sure whose bed they landed in. It didn't matter. Adam's hands felt like they were everywhere, trying to get him out of his clothes, and he wasn't resisting at all. Adam was like a whirlwind, but he always had been, and he was glad to give himself over to it this time.
When his shirt was gone, somewhere, and Adam's hands were on him, he gasped, his breath choking out of his throat. The memories of last night were there, but somehow they just didn't live up to the actual touch of those hands on his bare skin.
"Adam...."
The larger man loomed over him, his eyes dark, his hair falling in his face. Somehow his hands had managed to screw up all the products the stylist had worked into his hair and it fell in a broken mess. But it looked surprisingly perfect on Adam all the same. Jagged and edgy and oh-so-sexy.
"I love hearing you say my name." Adam breathed out, his voice breaking, just a little. Kris didn't think he had ever heard that happen before. Was thrilled that he could cause it. "Just like that....do it again."
His lips twitched slightly, panting, and he reached up, his fingers toying with one of the man's earrings.
"Adam."
The older male chuckled softly, but it came out sounding something like a groan, and the sound of it rippled through Kris, warming him, overheating him. These moments, these rare little moments where Adam didn't seem so confident, so unmoved, they were priceless.
He thought about that morning, when Adam had slipped the ring onto his finger and murmured his fears of pain and regret, and his heart hurt. There was going to pain when this was over. There was absolutely no fighting it. Quickly, he tugged the ring off his finger, almost carelessly depositing it onto the nightstand before reaching up to grasp the man's face, pulling him back down into another desperate kiss.
There would be pain and regrets, but not tonight. And not tomorrow. They still had time, dammit.
"I need you." He murmured it, half dazed, against Adam's lips, and he felt the man tremble in his arms. Felt the need returned, right back at him.
When Adam pulled back from the kiss, breathless, intent, he stared down at him, and Kris' heart sunk. How could he ever get over this man?
"You have me. All of me."