How It Always Should Have Been Chapter 7/?
American Idol 8 RPF: How It Always Should Have Been Chapter 7/?
Author:glambertgalore
Pairing: Kradam, who else?
Summary: How Kradam finally got together and their lives after.
Rating: NC-17 overall
Warnings: Angst, cuz that's how I like to roll.
Beta: My wonderfully supportive friend laurahellomoto
Disclaimer: I do not know these people, and this was just done for fun, and no profit. If you got here by googling yourself or someone you know, for the love of every diety I don't believe in leave now.
Author's Notes: Happy Belated Thanksgiving! End of break, and finals coming up, so not sure when 8 will go up, but this one is more than 3,000 words, so hopefully the unusually long length will make up for any gaps in posting. Enjoy!
Master Post for this fic:
http://glambertgalore.livejournal.com/16
93.html
How It Always Should Have Been Chapter 7/?
Kris lay on his side in the early morning, listening to Adam's light snoring, just enjoying being spooned by his lover. He hadn't been able to sleep all night; his emotions and thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. He thought of how lucky he was to have Adam, as well as both of their families on his side. After what had happened with Charles, he felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Despite the fact that Kris had always known how Charles felt about gay people, it didn't stop the fact that one of his oldest friends was now out of his life for good from hurting worse than he could ever have imagined. For the first time since he had declared his love for Adam and they had gotten together, Kris realized just how much he needed the love and protection of those around him. He had no clue how to deal with homophobia, and if Adam hadn't taken control of the situation last night, Kris had no clue what he would have done.
Kris looked at the clock. 6:30 AM. He hadn't slept a wink all night. He knew Adam would notice, and so would his parents. He always had dark circles, almost like bruises, under his eyes when he spent a sleepless night. Add to that the redness of his eyes that was sure to be there as a result of more than a few tears after he was sure Adam was asleep, and everyone would know that he had been awake crying all night. They would also worry. This made Kris feel a pang of guilt on top of everything else. He hated making the people he loved worry. Maybe he could hide out in this room all day. Their flight didn't leave for another two days, so he would be in the company of his parents and Adam, as well as Leila, who had gladly accepted Kim's invitation to remain as a guest until the boys left for their vacation. There was no way he'd be able to hide his emotions if he socialized with them.
Kris lay there, thinking of ways to avoid worrying everyone. Then he paused in this line of thinking. Wasn't that what his lover and his family were for? They had already made it abundantly clear that they would b e there every step of the way to make his coming out and his transition into life as an openly gay man as easy and painless as possible. If he shut them out and refused to tell them what he was feeling, they wouldn't be able to do that. Besides, he was a terrible liar and he had no poker face whatsoever. If he attempted to hide his emotions from them, they would simply drive him insane until he cracked anyway. Best to get it all out and work through it, rather than bottling it all up and making this a lot harder than it had to be for everyone involved. He decided to start with Adam.
Kris rolled over in his lover's arms so that they were facing each other, and snuggled closer, then kissing Adam's lips gently in an effort to wake him. Adam would not mind being roused early if it was because Kris needed to talk, and Kris definitely needed to talk right now.
“Baby? Can you wake up for me?” Kris cooed softly after breaking the kiss. “I need you.”
“Mmmmm,” Adam moaned as he awakened. “Whassa matter?” He mumbled sleepily. “Did something happen? Are you ok?”
Adam had awakened rather quickly, and was now staring at Kris with wide, sleepy looking blue eyes.
Kris shushed him and said, “No, nothing happened. I just wanted to talk, about last night.”
Thankfully the party had broken up not long after Kris and Adam's romp in the garden, and they had made it back inside just in time to thank their guests and say polite goodbyes before retiring very early in the evening. They hadn't even stayed up to talk to Kris's parents and Leila about what had happened with Charles. They had been settled in bed by 8:30.
Kris continued, “ I want to talk to you about this before I have to talk to your mom or my parents. I didn't get any sleep last night. I think I cried out every last drop of water in my body. I guess once the shock of what Charles did wore off, I was a whole lot more bothered than I let on, or that I thought I would be. I know he's a homophobic asshole. I've known that my entire life. But I was still friends with him, even though I've known I was gay since we were twelve. That makes me a hypocrite. What kind of person am I?”
Kris lay there, still in Adam's arms, and let the tears flow. He felt completely conflicted. Why hadn't he had the guts all those years ago to tell Charles and everyone else the truth? Maybe he wouldn't be going through this now if he had been braver back then.
Adam pulled Kris in closer, kissing his hair and rubbing his back in soothing circles. Finally he spoke.
“You're not a hypocrite, honey. You did what you had to do to survive in an environment that would have eaten you alive if anyone found out the truth. School is hell for gay kids almost anywhere, but especially in a place where people feel a hatred that runs so deep that they'd rather see you dead than gay. You're lucky that so many here, as we saw from the party last night, have more modern attitudes now. But it's also clear, due to the absence of quite a few people that have known you your entire life, that there are still the ones who will never accept you as you are. You knew that about them growing up, right? So that means that you were simply doing what was best at the time. The only thing you did was make your life as bearable as possible in the best way you knew how. You aren't a hypocrite, Kris Allen. You are a wonderful, loving man who simply did what was expected of him in an effort to make the lives of those around him easier. That doesn't make you hypocritical. It makes you selfless.”
Kris stared at Adam. He had never thought of it like that. He felt better, but he still wanted to address the issue of Charles. A few words may have changed everything, but it did not change the fact that they had been friends since they were five. He wondered what to say to Charles, if anything.
“Thank you, baby,” Kris said softly, kissing Adam again. “I still have to say something to Charles. I'm not sure what. But I can't really see saying nothing after that outburst. Twenty years of friendship might be lost now, but nothing can erase all the memories, all the good times. I know he's probably beating himself up for being so close to a gay man all these years, even sleeping in the same bed with me on countless occasions, and not figuring it out. I'd be willing to bet he is feeling more disgust with not just me, but himself as well, than he can handle right now. I want to get to him while all of that is still fresh. Don't worry, I won't stoop to his level. But I will give him a piece of my mind. That is the only way I can have closure with this. That goes for anyone else that may have choice words for me too.”
Adam looked worried at this. “Kris, you just spent a night awake and crying over what he said. Hate makes people do and say incredibly cruel things. I don't want you to let him make you feel any worse. What will confronting him change? He'll always be a homophobe. You're no longer just Kris to him. You're a fag in his eyes now. Nothing that the two of you shared will eclipse that.”
Kris knew that what Adam was saying was right, but he had to stand up for himself or he'd never be able to live with himself.
“Adam,” Kris said in a determined tone, “I know how ugly this might get. I am not laboring under any delusions that I am going to change his mind about anything. But he was a very important part of my life for a very long time. I have to close this chapter for good, and I have to do it on my own terms. He had his say. Now it's time for me to have mine.”
Adam looked like he understood that this was something that Kris had to do for himself, and he nodded. “Okay, but invite him over. I want to be there in case you need me. And he can't hang up on you or have the last word if he's sitting here and you do this face to face. You're right, you deserve to have your say.”
By the time Kris and Adam had finished their little heart to heart, it was well After 7 AM. Kris fired off a curt text to Charles.
I know that after last night we will never be friends again. There r a few things you need 2 hear tho. Come over at 10.
After that, he and Adam got up and went into the bathroom that Kim had added a few years ago that was meant specifically for guests of the room that Kris and Adam were staying in and took a long, hot shower together. Kris had to admit, his mom was a genius when it came to making sure any guests in her home had enough privacy to behave as they did in their own homes. They took their time, washing each other and sharing slow, lazy kisses and murmuring endearments to one another.
By the time they finished in the bathroom, it was almost 9. Kris was becoming increasingly nervous. By the time he and Adam had dressed and gone down to find the Allens and Leila enjoying toast, eggs and coffee, his stomach was tied in knots. They all noticed his state of unrest, and Leila voiced her concern.
“Kris, dear, you're not still upset about what Charles said last night, are you? Because you don't need friends like that honey. There is nothing sinful about you or your love with Adam. It's beautiful. You should always remember that.”
With that, Leila walked over to where Kris stood nervously in the doorway to the kitchen and gave him a long, loving hug. His own mother did the same right after, and he felt slightly better, though he knew that they would be furious that he had invited Charles over.
“I know Charles is the one that is in the wrong here,” he began. “But I'd be lying if I said that the fact that someone I've been best friends with that long just dumped me because he found out something about me that he doesn't agree with doesn't bother me. Besides that, he ruined our party and upset our guests. What happened to southern hospitality? He showed up here last night just so that he could be an ass to me, try to humiliate me, in front of as many people as possible. Even if he doesn't agree with what I have with Adam, he could have made his feelings known by not coming. That's something I can say for all the no shows- at least they haven't made a scene. They may whisper amongst themselves, or stop speaking to any of us altogether. But what Charles did was inexcusable and uncalled for, and I intend to tell him so. I sent him a text earlier inviting him here. He said he'd come. He'll be here at 10.”
Neil Allen looked shocked. “Son, I just don't know if this is a good idea. All of this is difficult enough for you without your deliberately engaging with people that clearly have a problem with you and your decisions. I don't want this to upset you any further. It's your decision, but we will all be here with you the entire time. This is my house, and that's my rule. If this little meeting is going to happen, he is going to feel as intimidated as possible while he is here. I will not allow him the opportunity to attempt to repeat his actions of last night. He's done enough damage.” Neil looked at Kris in a way that meant that his word was final. Kris didn't argue.
“Deal, Dad,” he said. “To be honest, I'd rather you were all there anyway.”
After that, everyone finished their coffee and breakfast in relative silence, and Kris and Adam took care of the table and dishes. Kris had nothing to eat or drink; he was too nervous. He'd eat after his chat with Charles.
The doorbell rang at precisely 10 AM, and everyone settled themselves around the living room while Kris went to the door. Charles came in, saying nothing to anyone, and standing nervously behind the love seat that Kris shared with Adam.
“Sit, please, Charles, and listen,” Kris said, pointing to an armchair. “As I said in the text, I have a few things I'd like to say to you.”
Charles sat, looking around the living room at all the stony faces that were focused on him. He still said nothing, not even a hello. He was clearly intimidated, per Neil's plan.
“Charles, we were friends for a long time,” Kris began. “We shared everything, except the one thing that I didn't share with anyone. I've known I was different my entire life. I figured out what it was the summer between seventh and eighth grades. I knew I was gay as soon as I had my first crush on a guy. Remember Ian? The guy that moved here from Kentucky and joined the team with us? I was madly in love with him throughout middle school and high school. Even Katy noticed. She asked if I was gay. I lied to her because I was terrified. I used her and married her to try to make myself into something I wasn't and would never be. I feel terrible about that. Do you know why I did that, Charles? I did it because of people like you,” Kris said, finally taking a breath after he spat the last word. “I tried to make myself straight, denied who I am, because people like you had me terrified to be myself. You proved last night that I did the only thing I could do in this town full of bigots unless I wanted to be crucified. You upset my guests, and attempted to humiliate me in front of all those people. But you know what? The only thing you did was make an ass of yourself. Even the people that think like you just stayed home. You are so full of hate that you just had to try to make everyone that I have left here turn on me too. It was rude and uncalled for, and at the very least you have no sense of that southern hospitality that people around here seem to be so proud of. If anyone is a sinner, its you, for attempting to spread hate. God loves all his children. And hate will never be better than anyone's version of love. The sooner you remember that, the sooner you can be a better person. I pity you more than anything. It's more of a relief than anything that our friendship is over, because, while I try to do the right thing and love everyone, I don't have time or space in my life for bigots.”
Kris let out a breath, waiting in the thick silence for Charles' response. Charles sat there, obviously struggling.
“Listen, man, I don't hate you, and I hate if you're confused or conflicted or whatever. Maybe I could have told you in a different way how I felt, I'll give you that. The party wasn't the place. I was just so angry at having to choose between my best friend and my God. But I stand by what I said. It's a sin. The Bible says so.”
“Fine,” Kris spat. “But you won't have as much backing in your views as you might think. Even if people don't like it, they aren't going to be openly hostile like you are. Anyway, I've said my peace, and it hasn't changed anything. I think its time you left. Goodbye.”
Charles looked like he wanted to speak again, but thought better of it after looking around at all the people that were sitting there, waiting for him to be rude to Kris. Kris was willing to bet that he'd have been a lot less cordial if it had just been the two of them. Once again, he remembered to thank God for Adam and their families.
“I guess this is goodbye then, until you come to your senses and find the Lord again,” Charles said stiffly. “They should call Hollywood the City of Devils instead of the City of Angels. I sure haven't seen any angels come from there,” he said, sneering in Adam's direction.
Just then, Neil stood, towering over Charles, his face red with fury. “Get out!” he screamed, right in Charles' face. “Leave here and never darken our doorstep again. There is no place here for hate. Kris and Adam know more about being angels than you ever will.”
Charles stood and stared around. “I see this queer has gotten to you all. God help you. Yeah, I'm leaving. I can't abide willful sin.”
At those words, Neil hauled Charles' large frame to the front door, opened it, and shoved him onto the concrete front porch. Kris could hear a sickening crunch, as if something had been broken. Neil didn't seem to care though, closing the door on Charles' squeals of pain.
“Dad!” Kris exclaimed worriedly. “What if you hurt him? He could get you assault charges. I didn't mean for it to come to that.”
“I really don't care," Neil said." Nobody insults my son in my house. He didn't get hurt too badly. If anything comes of this, I'll have it taken care of. Chief Peterson down at the station owes me a favor. If Charles files charges and he doesn't make them go away, his wife finds out about his hookers.”
Kris howled with laughter at that, and everyone else joined in. “Peterson and hookers? Are you sure?”
“Yep,” Neil said. "Got the evidence too. That isn't to leave this room though, or I lose my ammunition. But the important thing is, are you okay? The things Charles said were pretty harsh.”
“Never better,” Kris said, smiling. “All I really wanted was to explain to Charles the kind of damage his behavior and the behavior of those like him did to me. I feel so cheated, and I hate what I did to Katy. I lost years hiding in a closet, scared and miserable, because of people like that. If I can change even one bigot, then I've made a move in the right direction toward making sure that eventually, nobody has to live in fear for so many years like I did.”
Kris smiled at Neil, noticing tears in his father's eyes. They hugged, with Adam, Kim, and Leila sniffling too. None of them could have been prouder of Kris than they were in that moment, and it showed.
Author:glambertgalore
Pairing: Kradam, who else?
Summary: How Kradam finally got together and their lives after.
Rating: NC-17 overall
Warnings: Angst, cuz that's how I like to roll.
Beta: My wonderfully supportive friend laurahellomoto
Disclaimer: I do not know these people, and this was just done for fun, and no profit. If you got here by googling yourself or someone you know, for the love of every diety I don't believe in leave now.
Author's Notes: Happy Belated Thanksgiving! End of break, and finals coming up, so not sure when 8 will go up, but this one is more than 3,000 words, so hopefully the unusually long length will make up for any gaps in posting. Enjoy!
Master Post for this fic:
http://glambertgalore.livejournal.com/16
93.html
How It Always Should Have Been Chapter 7/?
Kris lay on his side in the early morning, listening to Adam's light snoring, just enjoying being spooned by his lover. He hadn't been able to sleep all night; his emotions and thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. He thought of how lucky he was to have Adam, as well as both of their families on his side. After what had happened with Charles, he felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Despite the fact that Kris had always known how Charles felt about gay people, it didn't stop the fact that one of his oldest friends was now out of his life for good from hurting worse than he could ever have imagined. For the first time since he had declared his love for Adam and they had gotten together, Kris realized just how much he needed the love and protection of those around him. He had no clue how to deal with homophobia, and if Adam hadn't taken control of the situation last night, Kris had no clue what he would have done.
Kris looked at the clock. 6:30 AM. He hadn't slept a wink all night. He knew Adam would notice, and so would his parents. He always had dark circles, almost like bruises, under his eyes when he spent a sleepless night. Add to that the redness of his eyes that was sure to be there as a result of more than a few tears after he was sure Adam was asleep, and everyone would know that he had been awake crying all night. They would also worry. This made Kris feel a pang of guilt on top of everything else. He hated making the people he loved worry. Maybe he could hide out in this room all day. Their flight didn't leave for another two days, so he would be in the company of his parents and Adam, as well as Leila, who had gladly accepted Kim's invitation to remain as a guest until the boys left for their vacation. There was no way he'd be able to hide his emotions if he socialized with them.
Kris lay there, thinking of ways to avoid worrying everyone. Then he paused in this line of thinking. Wasn't that what his lover and his family were for? They had already made it abundantly clear that they would b e there every step of the way to make his coming out and his transition into life as an openly gay man as easy and painless as possible. If he shut them out and refused to tell them what he was feeling, they wouldn't be able to do that. Besides, he was a terrible liar and he had no poker face whatsoever. If he attempted to hide his emotions from them, they would simply drive him insane until he cracked anyway. Best to get it all out and work through it, rather than bottling it all up and making this a lot harder than it had to be for everyone involved. He decided to start with Adam.
Kris rolled over in his lover's arms so that they were facing each other, and snuggled closer, then kissing Adam's lips gently in an effort to wake him. Adam would not mind being roused early if it was because Kris needed to talk, and Kris definitely needed to talk right now.
“Baby? Can you wake up for me?” Kris cooed softly after breaking the kiss. “I need you.”
“Mmmmm,” Adam moaned as he awakened. “Whassa matter?” He mumbled sleepily. “Did something happen? Are you ok?”
Adam had awakened rather quickly, and was now staring at Kris with wide, sleepy looking blue eyes.
Kris shushed him and said, “No, nothing happened. I just wanted to talk, about last night.”
Thankfully the party had broken up not long after Kris and Adam's romp in the garden, and they had made it back inside just in time to thank their guests and say polite goodbyes before retiring very early in the evening. They hadn't even stayed up to talk to Kris's parents and Leila about what had happened with Charles. They had been settled in bed by 8:30.
Kris continued, “ I want to talk to you about this before I have to talk to your mom or my parents. I didn't get any sleep last night. I think I cried out every last drop of water in my body. I guess once the shock of what Charles did wore off, I was a whole lot more bothered than I let on, or that I thought I would be. I know he's a homophobic asshole. I've known that my entire life. But I was still friends with him, even though I've known I was gay since we were twelve. That makes me a hypocrite. What kind of person am I?”
Kris lay there, still in Adam's arms, and let the tears flow. He felt completely conflicted. Why hadn't he had the guts all those years ago to tell Charles and everyone else the truth? Maybe he wouldn't be going through this now if he had been braver back then.
Adam pulled Kris in closer, kissing his hair and rubbing his back in soothing circles. Finally he spoke.
“You're not a hypocrite, honey. You did what you had to do to survive in an environment that would have eaten you alive if anyone found out the truth. School is hell for gay kids almost anywhere, but especially in a place where people feel a hatred that runs so deep that they'd rather see you dead than gay. You're lucky that so many here, as we saw from the party last night, have more modern attitudes now. But it's also clear, due to the absence of quite a few people that have known you your entire life, that there are still the ones who will never accept you as you are. You knew that about them growing up, right? So that means that you were simply doing what was best at the time. The only thing you did was make your life as bearable as possible in the best way you knew how. You aren't a hypocrite, Kris Allen. You are a wonderful, loving man who simply did what was expected of him in an effort to make the lives of those around him easier. That doesn't make you hypocritical. It makes you selfless.”
Kris stared at Adam. He had never thought of it like that. He felt better, but he still wanted to address the issue of Charles. A few words may have changed everything, but it did not change the fact that they had been friends since they were five. He wondered what to say to Charles, if anything.
“Thank you, baby,” Kris said softly, kissing Adam again. “I still have to say something to Charles. I'm not sure what. But I can't really see saying nothing after that outburst. Twenty years of friendship might be lost now, but nothing can erase all the memories, all the good times. I know he's probably beating himself up for being so close to a gay man all these years, even sleeping in the same bed with me on countless occasions, and not figuring it out. I'd be willing to bet he is feeling more disgust with not just me, but himself as well, than he can handle right now. I want to get to him while all of that is still fresh. Don't worry, I won't stoop to his level. But I will give him a piece of my mind. That is the only way I can have closure with this. That goes for anyone else that may have choice words for me too.”
Adam looked worried at this. “Kris, you just spent a night awake and crying over what he said. Hate makes people do and say incredibly cruel things. I don't want you to let him make you feel any worse. What will confronting him change? He'll always be a homophobe. You're no longer just Kris to him. You're a fag in his eyes now. Nothing that the two of you shared will eclipse that.”
Kris knew that what Adam was saying was right, but he had to stand up for himself or he'd never be able to live with himself.
“Adam,” Kris said in a determined tone, “I know how ugly this might get. I am not laboring under any delusions that I am going to change his mind about anything. But he was a very important part of my life for a very long time. I have to close this chapter for good, and I have to do it on my own terms. He had his say. Now it's time for me to have mine.”
Adam looked like he understood that this was something that Kris had to do for himself, and he nodded. “Okay, but invite him over. I want to be there in case you need me. And he can't hang up on you or have the last word if he's sitting here and you do this face to face. You're right, you deserve to have your say.”
By the time Kris and Adam had finished their little heart to heart, it was well After 7 AM. Kris fired off a curt text to Charles.
I know that after last night we will never be friends again. There r a few things you need 2 hear tho. Come over at 10.
After that, he and Adam got up and went into the bathroom that Kim had added a few years ago that was meant specifically for guests of the room that Kris and Adam were staying in and took a long, hot shower together. Kris had to admit, his mom was a genius when it came to making sure any guests in her home had enough privacy to behave as they did in their own homes. They took their time, washing each other and sharing slow, lazy kisses and murmuring endearments to one another.
By the time they finished in the bathroom, it was almost 9. Kris was becoming increasingly nervous. By the time he and Adam had dressed and gone down to find the Allens and Leila enjoying toast, eggs and coffee, his stomach was tied in knots. They all noticed his state of unrest, and Leila voiced her concern.
“Kris, dear, you're not still upset about what Charles said last night, are you? Because you don't need friends like that honey. There is nothing sinful about you or your love with Adam. It's beautiful. You should always remember that.”
With that, Leila walked over to where Kris stood nervously in the doorway to the kitchen and gave him a long, loving hug. His own mother did the same right after, and he felt slightly better, though he knew that they would be furious that he had invited Charles over.
“I know Charles is the one that is in the wrong here,” he began. “But I'd be lying if I said that the fact that someone I've been best friends with that long just dumped me because he found out something about me that he doesn't agree with doesn't bother me. Besides that, he ruined our party and upset our guests. What happened to southern hospitality? He showed up here last night just so that he could be an ass to me, try to humiliate me, in front of as many people as possible. Even if he doesn't agree with what I have with Adam, he could have made his feelings known by not coming. That's something I can say for all the no shows- at least they haven't made a scene. They may whisper amongst themselves, or stop speaking to any of us altogether. But what Charles did was inexcusable and uncalled for, and I intend to tell him so. I sent him a text earlier inviting him here. He said he'd come. He'll be here at 10.”
Neil Allen looked shocked. “Son, I just don't know if this is a good idea. All of this is difficult enough for you without your deliberately engaging with people that clearly have a problem with you and your decisions. I don't want this to upset you any further. It's your decision, but we will all be here with you the entire time. This is my house, and that's my rule. If this little meeting is going to happen, he is going to feel as intimidated as possible while he is here. I will not allow him the opportunity to attempt to repeat his actions of last night. He's done enough damage.” Neil looked at Kris in a way that meant that his word was final. Kris didn't argue.
“Deal, Dad,” he said. “To be honest, I'd rather you were all there anyway.”
After that, everyone finished their coffee and breakfast in relative silence, and Kris and Adam took care of the table and dishes. Kris had nothing to eat or drink; he was too nervous. He'd eat after his chat with Charles.
The doorbell rang at precisely 10 AM, and everyone settled themselves around the living room while Kris went to the door. Charles came in, saying nothing to anyone, and standing nervously behind the love seat that Kris shared with Adam.
“Sit, please, Charles, and listen,” Kris said, pointing to an armchair. “As I said in the text, I have a few things I'd like to say to you.”
Charles sat, looking around the living room at all the stony faces that were focused on him. He still said nothing, not even a hello. He was clearly intimidated, per Neil's plan.
“Charles, we were friends for a long time,” Kris began. “We shared everything, except the one thing that I didn't share with anyone. I've known I was different my entire life. I figured out what it was the summer between seventh and eighth grades. I knew I was gay as soon as I had my first crush on a guy. Remember Ian? The guy that moved here from Kentucky and joined the team with us? I was madly in love with him throughout middle school and high school. Even Katy noticed. She asked if I was gay. I lied to her because I was terrified. I used her and married her to try to make myself into something I wasn't and would never be. I feel terrible about that. Do you know why I did that, Charles? I did it because of people like you,” Kris said, finally taking a breath after he spat the last word. “I tried to make myself straight, denied who I am, because people like you had me terrified to be myself. You proved last night that I did the only thing I could do in this town full of bigots unless I wanted to be crucified. You upset my guests, and attempted to humiliate me in front of all those people. But you know what? The only thing you did was make an ass of yourself. Even the people that think like you just stayed home. You are so full of hate that you just had to try to make everyone that I have left here turn on me too. It was rude and uncalled for, and at the very least you have no sense of that southern hospitality that people around here seem to be so proud of. If anyone is a sinner, its you, for attempting to spread hate. God loves all his children. And hate will never be better than anyone's version of love. The sooner you remember that, the sooner you can be a better person. I pity you more than anything. It's more of a relief than anything that our friendship is over, because, while I try to do the right thing and love everyone, I don't have time or space in my life for bigots.”
Kris let out a breath, waiting in the thick silence for Charles' response. Charles sat there, obviously struggling.
“Listen, man, I don't hate you, and I hate if you're confused or conflicted or whatever. Maybe I could have told you in a different way how I felt, I'll give you that. The party wasn't the place. I was just so angry at having to choose between my best friend and my God. But I stand by what I said. It's a sin. The Bible says so.”
“Fine,” Kris spat. “But you won't have as much backing in your views as you might think. Even if people don't like it, they aren't going to be openly hostile like you are. Anyway, I've said my peace, and it hasn't changed anything. I think its time you left. Goodbye.”
Charles looked like he wanted to speak again, but thought better of it after looking around at all the people that were sitting there, waiting for him to be rude to Kris. Kris was willing to bet that he'd have been a lot less cordial if it had just been the two of them. Once again, he remembered to thank God for Adam and their families.
“I guess this is goodbye then, until you come to your senses and find the Lord again,” Charles said stiffly. “They should call Hollywood the City of Devils instead of the City of Angels. I sure haven't seen any angels come from there,” he said, sneering in Adam's direction.
Just then, Neil stood, towering over Charles, his face red with fury. “Get out!” he screamed, right in Charles' face. “Leave here and never darken our doorstep again. There is no place here for hate. Kris and Adam know more about being angels than you ever will.”
Charles stood and stared around. “I see this queer has gotten to you all. God help you. Yeah, I'm leaving. I can't abide willful sin.”
At those words, Neil hauled Charles' large frame to the front door, opened it, and shoved him onto the concrete front porch. Kris could hear a sickening crunch, as if something had been broken. Neil didn't seem to care though, closing the door on Charles' squeals of pain.
“Dad!” Kris exclaimed worriedly. “What if you hurt him? He could get you assault charges. I didn't mean for it to come to that.”
“I really don't care," Neil said." Nobody insults my son in my house. He didn't get hurt too badly. If anything comes of this, I'll have it taken care of. Chief Peterson down at the station owes me a favor. If Charles files charges and he doesn't make them go away, his wife finds out about his hookers.”
Kris howled with laughter at that, and everyone else joined in. “Peterson and hookers? Are you sure?”
“Yep,” Neil said. "Got the evidence too. That isn't to leave this room though, or I lose my ammunition. But the important thing is, are you okay? The things Charles said were pretty harsh.”
“Never better,” Kris said, smiling. “All I really wanted was to explain to Charles the kind of damage his behavior and the behavior of those like him did to me. I feel so cheated, and I hate what I did to Katy. I lost years hiding in a closet, scared and miserable, because of people like that. If I can change even one bigot, then I've made a move in the right direction toward making sure that eventually, nobody has to live in fear for so many years like I did.”
Kris smiled at Neil, noticing tears in his father's eyes. They hugged, with Adam, Kim, and Leila sniffling too. None of them could have been prouder of Kris than they were in that moment, and it showed.