Fic: All or Nothing (2/?)
Title: All or Nothing (2/?)
Author: totallytamara
Rating: PG-13, for some mild profanities.
Disclaimer: I don’t know any of the people portrayed in this story, therefore I don’t own them, either. This wasn’t written in the spirit of offending anyone, it was written for the sake of creativity. I’m not making any money from this; it’s just for fun!
Summary: Adam felt like the world was slowly closing in on him, and that acute case of claustrophobia he always claimed he had as a child was starting to kick in. The walls were moving in on him, and Adam was finding it harder to breathe.
Notes: Hi everyone! Thank you so much to those of you who read the first story and who left feedback. I really do appreciate it. Tons! Anyways, here’s the second installment in the series entitled All or Nothing. I really hope you guys are enjoying the series so far, and I hope you like this chapter. Thanks again for reading and for the feedback. Please, keep it coming! I’d love to see what some new readers are thinking, too!
Part 1
The room was silent, except for the soft tick, tick, ticking of the clock hanging on the wall. Adam lounged on his couch, flipping through the channels on TV, the volume on mute. As he channel-surfed, he was also chatting on the phone. The dude could multitask.
“Yes, I kn-” Adam began to say into the phone, breaking the silence in the room, but he was cut off. The conversation really was only one-sided. He’d barely gotten a word in since the call had come through. “I understa-” he attempted to sound like he actually cared about the conversation, like he understood why this discussion was taking place, but he really couldn’t understand it. He’d never be able to understand why every single conversation they shared had to be a put-down-Adam party.
As Adam listened to the words being thrown at him from the other line, he wondered how his life got like this. How his relationship got like this. The person he was speaking to was his boyfriend of almost two months, Ben. At first, Ben was the sweetest, most caring person in the entire world, and Adam really felt like he finally found the person he was supposed to be with forever. But over the last few weeks, Ben had changed. He was no longer the loving, supportive Ben that Adam had grown to care very strongly for. Love, even. Ben was cruel and everything that he said to Adam lately had just been some sort of slur or criticism. Adam wasn’t one to put up with being beaten like some helpless animal, but he thought that maybe Ben was going through a rough patch and just needed someone to take it out on. And if Adam had to be that person, so be it. He was willing to take an emotional beat-down from Ben because Adam thought that what they had was love. And when you love someone, you make sacrifices.
As Adam came out of his thoughts and sighed dramatically into the receiver, trying to make Ben hear it over his tirade, frantic banging came from his front door. Adam froze, scared shitless. Who would be coming over to his house at this hour? While it was pouring rain outside? And why would they be smacking their fists so violently on his door?
“Ben? Ben, shut up for a second. There’s someone at my door. Stay on the line. If you hear me scream, call the fucking cops, okay?” Adam breathed into the phone, attempting to cover his ass incase some pedophile or home invader or something was at his door. When Ben finally stopped talking and told Adam that he’d listen for his screams, Adam began walking towards his front door, slowly, like he was in a horror movie and the killer was right outside. He set down the phone on the end table by the door, and, carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible, he unlocked the door. He kept the chain on the door just incase. He’d have a better chance at survival if he took extra precautions.
Adam opened the door slowly, carefully, and, when it was opened just a crack, he peeked through the opening in the door to see who his visitor was. When he saw that small, brown eyed, brown haired man standing there, it was like a blast from the past. He blinked a few times, trying to make sure it was real. It couldn’t possibly be real. “Kris…” Adam mumbled, still not fully convinced that he wasn’t dreaming.
“Hey...” Kris started, his whole body completely drenched. Adam figured he must have been standing outside a long time and hoped that he hadn’t been lurking outside his house. But Adam was pretty sure that Kris wasn’t the lurk-outside-your-house type, so he shook that thought from his mind. Smiling at Kris through the crack in the door - just hearing that voice, that slight drawl, made his heart skip - Adam shut the door so he could unhook the chain. Then, he opened it wide, asking Kris inside. Once Kris was through the door, Adam pulled him into a hug, wrapping his arms around him tight. He felt Kris shiver, probably because he was freezing, and immediately, Adam jumped back, the “mother figure” in him, for the lack of a better term, taking the forefront.
“Oh, my god. Kris, you’re soaked,” Adam said with a slight chuckle. “Why don’t you go have a bath? You’re going to get sick.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lots of talk about getting sick tonight,” Kris mumbled under his breath. Adam didn’t reply because he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hear what Kris had said.
“Alright, come with me. Let’s get you warmed up,” Adam smiled at his old friend, putting an arm around his shoulder as he walked towards the bathroom, ushering Kris to follow along.
Once they got inside the bathroom, Adam drew the water for Kris and the pair stood in the bathroom, silent for a moment, just drinking in the presence of the other. They hadn’t seen each other for over a month, and that kind of separation for the pair was crazy. Since Adam and Kris met, they had pretty much been inseparable. The best of friends. Yet, that all seemed to change, so suddenly, too, Adam mused. He tried so hard not to think about it, though. Kris was here, in his bathroom, right in front of him, and he wasn’t going to bring up something that upset him so much when this situation should be happy. His best friend was here. His Kris was here. Finally.
“Do you want me to put your clothes in the dryer?” Adam asked Kris, breaking the silence that they had shared.
“Um, yeah, sure, that’d be great. Thanks, man, for everything, really. And I’m sorry. For everything. For intruding and for… you know…” Kris said, his big brown eyes stuck on the floor.
“No. No apologies right now, mister. You need to get in that bath and get warm!” Adam demanded, his always cheerful voice ringing through the room. “Just leave your clothes outside the bathroom when you’ve changed. I’ll pick them up and dry them.” Kris nodded in response, giving Adam a smile. Adam’s heart seemed to be doing jumping jacks as that smile of Kris’s flashed in his direction, and Adam rushed out of the bathroom, leaving before his emotions got too crazed. Why was he even thinking of Kris like… like that? He’d promised himself when they stopped speaking that his days of pining for Kris were over. Besides, he had Ben now. He didn’t need to pine for someone that didn’t feel the same. He already had someone that felt the same. And, Adam finally realized, that someone was still on the phone, waiting for him. And he’d probably already called the cops by now!
Adam rushed down the stairs, running to the end table that the phone was situated on. “Ben? Are you there? Shit, sorry I didn’t come back till just now. Hope I didn’t scare you,” Adam said breathlessly into the phone.
“What the hell happened? You had me, like, crapping my pants! I thought you died or something!” Ben, sounding one part relieved and a whole lot of parts pissed, replied.
“I’m so sorry! It’s just… I… I kind of have a visitor… You’re going to freak out when I tell you who it is. Please don’t freak out. I really had no idea he was heading over here. I promise you,” Adam tried to warn Ben for what was coming. Adam knew that as soon as Kris’s name left his mouth, Ben would be jumping down his throat, throwing loads of accusations at him. He didn’t really want to deal with it when Kris was just upstairs, but he knew that he’d have to tell Ben at some point.
“Don’t even tell me… it’s not him, is it?” Ben, snarling the word “him”, asked.
“I’m sorry… he just showed up and he was soaking wet and he looked so depressed and he’s one of my closest friends and I haven’t seen him in forever and I just-” Adam began to explain himself in a rush. He knew he’d have to do a lot of explaining because Ben wouldn’t believe any of these stories. He just hoped, prayed that one of these explanations would be satisfactory enough for Ben to just drop this whole conversation and leave the argument for another night. Adam knew he’d never get that lucky, though.
“Who the hell do you think you’re trying to kid, Adam? I’m not fucking stupid. What the hell?! You promised! You fucking promised! You said you’d never speak to him again! You’re a fucking liar! God damnit, Adam, how could you do this to me?!” Ben yelled at him from the other end, but Adam barely registered it. He forgot what Ben’s sugary sweet, flowing voice, almost like maple syrup, sounded like. It had been so long since Ben had talked to him in a voice that didn’t resemble a scream. Adam missed that bright, happy, adorable side of Ben.
“Look, I don’t have time for this right now. I’m not doing anything wrong. And I know I promised, and I’m sorry, but… oh, forget it. Just… bye,” Adam muttered into the phone before hanging up on Ben.
Adam slammed the phone down onto the end table, his pulse rapid. He was just so frustrated with life and with the way everything had taken a turn for the worst. He’d never expected to be in the situation he was in now. His best friend, who he had done some pretty shitty things to and who had done some pretty shitty things back, was sitting upstairs in his bathroom in his tub, trying to get his body temperature to a reasonable degree. His boyfriend, who Adam had, he now realized, foolishly put on a pedestal, was going to be the death of him, he was sure of it. Adam felt like the world was slowly closing in on him, and that acute case of claustrophobia he always claimed he had as a child was starting to kick in. The walls were moving in on him, and Adam was finding it harder to breathe. He found it strange, scary, unbelievable that his life could be spiraling down such a steep hill when just months ago, things had been so… incredible.
But, Adam decided, he didn’t have time to do any introspection. Kris, someone who he really, really cared for, needed his help. And when someone needed his help, Adam was always there. He was Captain Reliable. The camp counselor. Everybody’s go-to guy. He was just always there. Always. Even when the turmoil inside of him was almost too much to take.
Author: totallytamara
Rating: PG-13, for some mild profanities.
Disclaimer: I don’t know any of the people portrayed in this story, therefore I don’t own them, either. This wasn’t written in the spirit of offending anyone, it was written for the sake of creativity. I’m not making any money from this; it’s just for fun!
Summary: Adam felt like the world was slowly closing in on him, and that acute case of claustrophobia he always claimed he had as a child was starting to kick in. The walls were moving in on him, and Adam was finding it harder to breathe.
Notes: Hi everyone! Thank you so much to those of you who read the first story and who left feedback. I really do appreciate it. Tons! Anyways, here’s the second installment in the series entitled All or Nothing. I really hope you guys are enjoying the series so far, and I hope you like this chapter. Thanks again for reading and for the feedback. Please, keep it coming! I’d love to see what some new readers are thinking, too!
Part 1
The room was silent, except for the soft tick, tick, ticking of the clock hanging on the wall. Adam lounged on his couch, flipping through the channels on TV, the volume on mute. As he channel-surfed, he was also chatting on the phone. The dude could multitask.
“Yes, I kn-” Adam began to say into the phone, breaking the silence in the room, but he was cut off. The conversation really was only one-sided. He’d barely gotten a word in since the call had come through. “I understa-” he attempted to sound like he actually cared about the conversation, like he understood why this discussion was taking place, but he really couldn’t understand it. He’d never be able to understand why every single conversation they shared had to be a put-down-Adam party.
As Adam listened to the words being thrown at him from the other line, he wondered how his life got like this. How his relationship got like this. The person he was speaking to was his boyfriend of almost two months, Ben. At first, Ben was the sweetest, most caring person in the entire world, and Adam really felt like he finally found the person he was supposed to be with forever. But over the last few weeks, Ben had changed. He was no longer the loving, supportive Ben that Adam had grown to care very strongly for. Love, even. Ben was cruel and everything that he said to Adam lately had just been some sort of slur or criticism. Adam wasn’t one to put up with being beaten like some helpless animal, but he thought that maybe Ben was going through a rough patch and just needed someone to take it out on. And if Adam had to be that person, so be it. He was willing to take an emotional beat-down from Ben because Adam thought that what they had was love. And when you love someone, you make sacrifices.
As Adam came out of his thoughts and sighed dramatically into the receiver, trying to make Ben hear it over his tirade, frantic banging came from his front door. Adam froze, scared shitless. Who would be coming over to his house at this hour? While it was pouring rain outside? And why would they be smacking their fists so violently on his door?
“Ben? Ben, shut up for a second. There’s someone at my door. Stay on the line. If you hear me scream, call the fucking cops, okay?” Adam breathed into the phone, attempting to cover his ass incase some pedophile or home invader or something was at his door. When Ben finally stopped talking and told Adam that he’d listen for his screams, Adam began walking towards his front door, slowly, like he was in a horror movie and the killer was right outside. He set down the phone on the end table by the door, and, carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible, he unlocked the door. He kept the chain on the door just incase. He’d have a better chance at survival if he took extra precautions.
Adam opened the door slowly, carefully, and, when it was opened just a crack, he peeked through the opening in the door to see who his visitor was. When he saw that small, brown eyed, brown haired man standing there, it was like a blast from the past. He blinked a few times, trying to make sure it was real. It couldn’t possibly be real. “Kris…” Adam mumbled, still not fully convinced that he wasn’t dreaming.
“Hey...” Kris started, his whole body completely drenched. Adam figured he must have been standing outside a long time and hoped that he hadn’t been lurking outside his house. But Adam was pretty sure that Kris wasn’t the lurk-outside-your-house type, so he shook that thought from his mind. Smiling at Kris through the crack in the door - just hearing that voice, that slight drawl, made his heart skip - Adam shut the door so he could unhook the chain. Then, he opened it wide, asking Kris inside. Once Kris was through the door, Adam pulled him into a hug, wrapping his arms around him tight. He felt Kris shiver, probably because he was freezing, and immediately, Adam jumped back, the “mother figure” in him, for the lack of a better term, taking the forefront.
“Oh, my god. Kris, you’re soaked,” Adam said with a slight chuckle. “Why don’t you go have a bath? You’re going to get sick.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lots of talk about getting sick tonight,” Kris mumbled under his breath. Adam didn’t reply because he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hear what Kris had said.
“Alright, come with me. Let’s get you warmed up,” Adam smiled at his old friend, putting an arm around his shoulder as he walked towards the bathroom, ushering Kris to follow along.
Once they got inside the bathroom, Adam drew the water for Kris and the pair stood in the bathroom, silent for a moment, just drinking in the presence of the other. They hadn’t seen each other for over a month, and that kind of separation for the pair was crazy. Since Adam and Kris met, they had pretty much been inseparable. The best of friends. Yet, that all seemed to change, so suddenly, too, Adam mused. He tried so hard not to think about it, though. Kris was here, in his bathroom, right in front of him, and he wasn’t going to bring up something that upset him so much when this situation should be happy. His best friend was here. His Kris was here. Finally.
“Do you want me to put your clothes in the dryer?” Adam asked Kris, breaking the silence that they had shared.
“Um, yeah, sure, that’d be great. Thanks, man, for everything, really. And I’m sorry. For everything. For intruding and for… you know…” Kris said, his big brown eyes stuck on the floor.
“No. No apologies right now, mister. You need to get in that bath and get warm!” Adam demanded, his always cheerful voice ringing through the room. “Just leave your clothes outside the bathroom when you’ve changed. I’ll pick them up and dry them.” Kris nodded in response, giving Adam a smile. Adam’s heart seemed to be doing jumping jacks as that smile of Kris’s flashed in his direction, and Adam rushed out of the bathroom, leaving before his emotions got too crazed. Why was he even thinking of Kris like… like that? He’d promised himself when they stopped speaking that his days of pining for Kris were over. Besides, he had Ben now. He didn’t need to pine for someone that didn’t feel the same. He already had someone that felt the same. And, Adam finally realized, that someone was still on the phone, waiting for him. And he’d probably already called the cops by now!
Adam rushed down the stairs, running to the end table that the phone was situated on. “Ben? Are you there? Shit, sorry I didn’t come back till just now. Hope I didn’t scare you,” Adam said breathlessly into the phone.
“What the hell happened? You had me, like, crapping my pants! I thought you died or something!” Ben, sounding one part relieved and a whole lot of parts pissed, replied.
“I’m so sorry! It’s just… I… I kind of have a visitor… You’re going to freak out when I tell you who it is. Please don’t freak out. I really had no idea he was heading over here. I promise you,” Adam tried to warn Ben for what was coming. Adam knew that as soon as Kris’s name left his mouth, Ben would be jumping down his throat, throwing loads of accusations at him. He didn’t really want to deal with it when Kris was just upstairs, but he knew that he’d have to tell Ben at some point.
“Don’t even tell me… it’s not him, is it?” Ben, snarling the word “him”, asked.
“I’m sorry… he just showed up and he was soaking wet and he looked so depressed and he’s one of my closest friends and I haven’t seen him in forever and I just-” Adam began to explain himself in a rush. He knew he’d have to do a lot of explaining because Ben wouldn’t believe any of these stories. He just hoped, prayed that one of these explanations would be satisfactory enough for Ben to just drop this whole conversation and leave the argument for another night. Adam knew he’d never get that lucky, though.
“Who the hell do you think you’re trying to kid, Adam? I’m not fucking stupid. What the hell?! You promised! You fucking promised! You said you’d never speak to him again! You’re a fucking liar! God damnit, Adam, how could you do this to me?!” Ben yelled at him from the other end, but Adam barely registered it. He forgot what Ben’s sugary sweet, flowing voice, almost like maple syrup, sounded like. It had been so long since Ben had talked to him in a voice that didn’t resemble a scream. Adam missed that bright, happy, adorable side of Ben.
“Look, I don’t have time for this right now. I’m not doing anything wrong. And I know I promised, and I’m sorry, but… oh, forget it. Just… bye,” Adam muttered into the phone before hanging up on Ben.
Adam slammed the phone down onto the end table, his pulse rapid. He was just so frustrated with life and with the way everything had taken a turn for the worst. He’d never expected to be in the situation he was in now. His best friend, who he had done some pretty shitty things to and who had done some pretty shitty things back, was sitting upstairs in his bathroom in his tub, trying to get his body temperature to a reasonable degree. His boyfriend, who Adam had, he now realized, foolishly put on a pedestal, was going to be the death of him, he was sure of it. Adam felt like the world was slowly closing in on him, and that acute case of claustrophobia he always claimed he had as a child was starting to kick in. The walls were moving in on him, and Adam was finding it harder to breathe. He found it strange, scary, unbelievable that his life could be spiraling down such a steep hill when just months ago, things had been so… incredible.
But, Adam decided, he didn’t have time to do any introspection. Kris, someone who he really, really cared for, needed his help. And when someone needed his help, Adam was always there. He was Captain Reliable. The camp counselor. Everybody’s go-to guy. He was just always there. Always. Even when the turmoil inside of him was almost too much to take.