fic: Resolution (part 5)
Title: Resolution
Genre: Angst/Drama
Rating: PG-13
Summary: (part 5) The healing process continues for Kris and Adam. Allison gets to visit with Adam as well, and that ends Adam’s fears about her condition. Kris grows wary of Michael, beginning to suspect something shady.
URLS of first four parts:
- http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/305652.html
- http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/314033.html
- http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/314033.html
- http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/322193.html
Notes:
I think you’ll like this chapter. ;) I have part 6 and 7 ready as well, and I’m working on 8.
I bet you’ll love part 6, and hate it too. If that makes sense.
*grins* Enjoy.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
Kris managed to fall into a real sleep that night. Sure, it was disrupted slightly by an endless stream of dreams- some memories, mostly of Adam, some of Katy- some distinct and others unclear and hazy.
A slight creaking sound cut through the sleepy fog that had overtaken him, and he rolled over and sat up in the bed Katy had checked out for them, brushing sleep out of his eyes. He sighed and pushed the dreams from his mind as he looked up, seeing Katy was already gone and glancing at the doorway, seeing Stephanie standing there, looking surprised that he was actually asleep.
A sheepish grin decorated her small face. “Mr. Allen?” she said. “I’m sorry to wake you-”
He stifled a yawn with his palm. “I was getting up anyway.”
Her skepticism jolted across her face, but she said nothing to retort. Instead her face grew serious. “I was hoping to speak to you,” she said instead. Her eyes were serious. Kris saw then that her face was a mask full of concern and anxiety. “What is it?” He asked about five seconds later, when he fully sat up and registered the look on her face.
“Several things,” she said slowly. “I was going to check in on Miss Iraheta-would you mind accompanying me? I’ll tell you along the way.”
“Not at all.” Kris fell into step beside her, and they depart from the room. “What things?” He asked her as they moved through the corridor.
She sighed. “Well, for one, I’m afraid Mr. Lambert has taken a turn for the worse.”
Kris’ heart froze into a chunk of solid ice and leapt into his throat, and his stomach caved out. “W-worse?” He stammered. His voice went suddenly ragged, and he stared at her.
She saw the terrified look in his eyes, and shook her head. “Nothing that bad, only a little bit worse. I guess whatever happened yesterday was kind of a shock to his body, and it weakened him slightly. And falling off the bed wasn’t exactly the best thing for him, either. I replaced his bandages, and his burns look noticeably better, but I’m afraid he’s slipped back into unconsciousness and he’s a bit weaker than the doctors and I’d like for him to be. I don’t suppose you have any idea what set him off yesterday?”
“None,” Kris said honestly, letting a twinge of relief flood his senses.
She frowned, confused. “You told him Allison was all right earlier?”
Kris nodded. “I don’t quite understand it,” and he heaved a sigh of frustration. “Maybe he forgot, I mean... he hasn’t exactly been fully aware of everything and it could’ve slipped right past him.”
Her frown deepened at that. “I don’t know. He’s not that clueless to what goes on around him... are you sure you didn’t say or do anything to set him off when you visited earlier?”
Kris shook his head. “I don’t think so. And there were hours in between the two times I went in there...”
She bit her lip, stopping in the hallway and turning. “Do you think someone else might have . . . said something to him?”
Kris slowed his steps and halted beside her. “Like who?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. But he’s allowed visitors now, someone else could’ve-” She looked down at her clipboard.
Kris’ mind immediately jumped through several scenarios, but he still felt sleepy and had a hard time considering each one.
“Was there anything else?” Kris asked softly, finally.
She began walking again and turned the corner toward Allie’s room. “I’m also a little worried about her,” she said. “She’s getting better... but she’s still very tired, it seems like she should be regaining her energy faster. I wonder if it’s her stress... the fact that she’s worried, that’s doing it.”
“What can we do?” Kris asked quickly. “What can I do?” He’d do anything he could to help her.
She gave me a tired grin and stopped in front of Allison’s door. “Well, she and Mr. Lambert are very close, obviously... ” she started.
Kris nodded emphatically. “Yes... very close friends."
“And he is obviously worried for her and cares a lot about her as well,” She prompted. Kris nodded again.
“What are you suggesting, then?” He mumbled, trying not to yawn.
She grinned. “I bet she wants to see him. I suggest we let her. It might help both of them.”
Kris blinked at that. “I-are you sure he’s strong enough?”
She sighed. “No. And my supervisor almost said no - but I convinced him, because in the end, we think it would be better for her to see him, rather than not.”
Then the door opened, and she was stepping inside, Kris following.
Allison was lying in the bed with her eyes closed, but they fluttered open when they entered the room. Stephanie was right. She looked exhausted. Her eyes looked hollow and her skin was ashen and pale, making the bruises stand out angrily against the contours of her youthful face. “Kris . . .” she said, in a tired, breathy voice. “Stephanie. Good morning.”
“Good morning, honey,” Stephanie said gently. “How are you feeling?”
Allison blinked, slowly, then tried to sit up, leaning heavily on her pillows. “Fine,” she said. “I’m fine. How’s . . . Adam?”
“Would you like to see for yourself?” Kris asked, approaching her with a small smile.
“S-see him?” She asked, and light poured slowly into her face. “Is he well enough for that?” Allie asked cautiously.
“He’s as well as can be expected... and he’s stable,” Stephanie replied. “And he’s not far. Just down the hallway. Do you feel up to it?”
Allison sat up, a real smile gracing her cheeks. “Of course I do,” she said, almost stubbornly. “Kris, help me stand?”
He glanced at Stephanie, and when she nodded, he went to Allie’s side as she slid her legs off the side of the bed and he gently lifted her tiny frame until she stood on her feet.
She was leaning heavily on him, and refused a wheelchair as they stepped slowly across the room and out the door, the look on her face determined and nearly haughty. “This isn’t so hard,” she declared.
But by the time they’d reached Adam’s door, her face was shining in exertion and her feet were dragging a bit. Stephanie held it open, and Kris helped her stumble inside and over to the side of Adam’s bed. She sank down onto the edge of the bed, sighing.
Kris watched her eyes rove over him, hesitant. “Adam?” she whispered, her voice soft. She reached forward as if she were about to touch his face, hovering over his cheek, but her fingers trembled when she saw the breath mask. She pulled her hand back, swallowing. For a moment, Kris saw fear and indecisiveness sparkle in her eyes, but the rest of her face shone with love and concern. “Wow,” she murmured, and looked up at me. “K-Kris-”
He took a step forward and laid a hand on her shoulder, almost like a reflex. “He might not be able to hear you,” Kris whispered in sad explanation. “It’s all right, though. I know-he does love you.”
She took a breath, and smiled bravely up into Kris’ face. “I know that,” she pointed out, giggling a little.
“Kris?” The tentative voice made him jump, and he wondered briefly if he was really so tired that he hadn’t seen Katy standing by the door until just then. He squeezed Allie’s shoulder and stepped toward his wife, stopping short of entering the hallway and leaning on the door frame.
“Good morning,” he said awkwardly, and her hand found his.
“You brought Allie in to see him?” She asked quizzically, but her eyes were bright.
“Stephanie thought it would be better if they saw each other, at least,” He told her, looking over at the two. “I agreed with her.” And then Kris realized he hadn’t told Katy about what had happened yesterday. “He ... really lost it yesterday... just at the mere thought she might not be okay. And she’s been really worried about him.”
“Yes.” Katy grinned. “I think it’s a brilliant idea.”
“I wish he were awake, though,” Kris added in a voice that was little more than a whisper. “That way he could see with his own eyes that she’s fine. She’s the one person that I think can give him strength in all this.”
Katy peered at him thoughtfully. “I think you’re underestimating yourself, honey.”
He stared blankly.
“You are more to him than just a friend,” Katy said. “You really are like brothers, almost. Don’t discount that.”
She kissed his cheek playfully and squeezed his arm, and he sighed thoughtfully.
---------------
He vaguely felt a gentle, cautious touch to his aching head, and fingers gently brushing a few strands of hair from his face. His mind tumbled back and floundered in the darkness, but he pulled it away stubbornly, willing himself to open his eyes.
He heard her whispering to him, that voice very clear and distinct to him, but the words jumbled nonsensically. His eyelids heavy, he groggily focused on the tiny hand pressed softly to his cheek. “Adam,” came her timid voice, and his breath caught in his throat in a near-sob at the very sound of it. “Adam... can you hear me?”
He rolled his head back slightly until he could see her face, framed by messy red curls, come into view. She looked pale, and very tired, but she was there, she was Allison, she was all right, and this realization made him blink back tears of relief impatiently, for they blurred his sight of her. “Hey... sweetheart,” he whispered, the breath mask twisting his words into a ragged and deep sound, unfamiliar and unnatural.
Allison’s eyes widened, and her hand jumped from his face. Her gaze met his, and Adam read fear in her gaze.
He felt his heart stop, and then shatter a bit. “D-don’t look at me like that, Allie,” he stammered, his words falling all over themselves as they struggled to get past his lips. “I-I’m okay-” Pain rose into his perception, and he pushed it away in denial, needing for his words to her to be true. Tears were clinging to Allison’s cheeks, and the sight stung him.
“H-how can you be so sure of that?” She whispered in return, and her voice was thick and syrupy, laden with the weight of her tears. “You don’t know that...”
Adam tried to shift a bit, so he could look at her straight in the face, and pushed the cobwebs from the corners of his eyes. “N-no, Allison,” he gasped desperately, looking urgently at her. “I’m-I’m fine. Really. I was so-I thought I lost you, girl. N-never . . . scare me like that again. Please...”
She pressed a small hand to her mouth and closed her eyes for a brief moment. “Adam-oh, Adam, what’s happened to you? Where’s the Adam Lambert I know? My big brother?”
“Right here!” Adam’s voice shook with emotion, as he replied quickly, the exclamation scraping out of his throat. “I’m right . . . here, Allie.”
The outburst was too much for him, the remainder of his oxygen was cut off as the respiratory machine fought to catch up with him. Allison stared at the whirring device in intimidation and fear, eyeing the cords connecting to the mask on his face.
Her hands settled in her lap and he watched him gasp softly. “I-I’m scared,” she whispered. “I’m scared, Adam. So... scared.”
He struggled to relax, and the breath found him again. “Don’t be s-scared... everything’s gonna be... fine.”
Her gentle fingers rubbed against the skin above the mask, his bruised cheek. “I hope so.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and turned away, hating the trepidation in her eyes as she stared at him. “T-thank you... for coming to see me.” he mumbled.
“You’re welcome,” she whispered, voice low.
He forced his eyes open again suddenly, as if remembering. “A-are you... all right?”
“Fine.” Allison leaned forward and took his hand in hers, squeezing his fingers reassuringly. “I’m fine.” A shaky, gentle grin. “Everything’s just fine.”
Adam tried not to choke on his faltering sigh of relief, a warm feeling encasing his heart. He fought to lift his arm, weighed down by the tubes and cords running into it, and caught her wrist in his hand, tightening his fingers around it as if to prove he had some strength.
Her other hand closed over his. “Adam-” the name caught in her throat, and he winced at the sound of her voice, tiny and tired. “You need to stop this...” A slight edge of gentle teasing laced her words. “Stop this nonsense and get better... now.”
A tiny smirk twisted his lips. “I am. I will... I’m Adam Lambert- it’ll take... a whole hell of a l-lot more to bring me... down.”
Her mouth broke into faltering smile, the ghost of her usual amused grin. “Of course... I can’t believe the awesome power of your name slipped my mind.” There was a moment of lapsed silence between them, gentle smiles.
“This thing is scary.” Her fingers cautiously traced the breath mask.
“Well-hopefully I won’t need... to use it much longer.” He replied quietly, “I kind of feel like D-Darth Vader, or something.”
Allison was still reluctant to genuinely laugh, but she giggled uneasily and smiled at him. Adam’s heart gave a twinge at the laughter, he hadn’t heard real laughter from anyone in a while, nor had he laughed himself. He was amazed at the small chuckle that ached in his throat, escaping him in a wisp of air. “How are you feeling, Adam?” Allison asked worriedly.
Adam’s answer was to push himself recklessly upward, his arms pulling her to him, and embracing her. Her body was small and warm against his, and even though the action left him feeling even weaker and slightly pained, he smiled. Allison let out a surprised gasp, but hugged him back, grateful for the gesture.
She sighed contentedly and tiredly and let her head drop to rest on his pillow. Her hair spilled against the side of his face and she yawned.
“Everything’s... going to be fine,” he told her, knowing she was terrified, remembering that she was still a very young girl, and was trying her hardest to be brave.
She nodded her head and sat up. “I know, Adam. I know.” She blew out a trembling breath and squeezed his arm. “I know...” She repeated again.
---------------------------------
Katy roped Kris into actually sitting down and eating something with her in the hospital’s food area, and despite his ache not to leave my friends, his stomach agreed with her. Stephanie promised to keep an eye on the two of them, and there was no other excuse he could make that would allow denying Katy what she requested… and somewhere deep inside, he was well-aware that he sorely needed to eat something anyway. He couldn’t remember the last full meal he’d eaten, his mind a mess with memories and exhaustion.
He needed time with Katy, too.
He’d realized her being with him was soothing. It was something he could no longer avoid out of awkwardness, and had started to cherish again.
“Found time to finally take a break from everything and think about yourself?” She teased as he took a seat beside her, tray laden with a bagel, fruit, and a multitude of food that smelled delicious. He grunted tiredly and took a bite, making her giggle.
“Kris?” Lil and Michael were sitting at the table behind them.
Kris nodded at them. “Hey.” “Wow, you finally decided to let the doctors take care of Adam, huh?” Lil added to Katy’s sentiment, smiling.
Kris nodded, but caught the strange scowl adorning Michael’s face and stopped chewing, bemused. With a difficult swallow, he replied quickly. “Allison’s in there with him actually. It’s her turn.”
Lil’s eyes danced with happiness at that statement, and Michael wanted to say something, Kris could tell, but he refrained. Profoundly grateful that he’d not unleashed whatever ignorant, dumbass thing he desired to say, Kris went back to his food.
Katy spoke again, her voice worried. “Look at this.” He eyed the newspaper she motioned to, scanning the headline, then reading it aloud in a low voice. “Shocking American Idol Tour Bus Accident Leaves Fans Confused and Worried.”
Michael sat bolt upright in his chair at that. “That’s it, we need to get moving. Out of this hospital, away from all this. Our fans are dumbstruck, and I’m sick of this.” Lil sent him a weird look across the table.
“We can’t,” Kris replied, his voice short, and hinging on annoyance. What is his problem, anyway?
He was struck with a sudden memory of Michael’s cold treatment of Adam, the silent frowns, hardened eyes, and rigid shoulders that were always there when Adam was in the same room.
“Adam and Allison aren’t ready to leave,” Katy continued for him, “Both of them are too weak, still. Adam had a bit of a...” She glanced at Kris, who was lost in thought, “...downturn yesterday, but hopefully he’ll pull out of that. I bet soon enough they’ll be strong and healed to the point where you all can get back on the road. I don’t know how soon, but no one does, really.”
“A downturn?” Michael repeated, and there was a strange tone in his voice. Kris looked at him-seeing his eyes crackle with something repressed.
“He’ll be fine,” He reflected out loud. “Just a little shock to his system, that’s all. He’s strong.”
Lil nodded, the worry that had crinkled her brow dissipating, but Michael was still staring at him in that faraway, odd way, and a spark of annoyance flared inside Kris.
“What kind of downturn?” Sarver repeated, sounding vaguely curious, but a frisson of disquiet ran along his spine at the undertones in his voice. “Nothing too bad... I hope?”
“Nothing terrible,” Kris said cautiously, and he as sounded as wary as he felt, but he didn’t care. “Not really threatening... just unexpected and unfortunate.”
“Hm.” Michael mused. “Well, that’s good to hear.”
He shifted uncomfortably, not hearing sincerity in the words. “Yes, it is.”
“He was more worried about Allison then himself,” Michael continued. “Funny, isn’t it?” How is that funny? Kris thought bitterly. “-but she’s doing better now too, right?-we can leave soon, then. And focus more on figuring out why the hell we even crashed in the first place...”
Kris didn’t even want to remark on that, for he couldn’t believe Michael cared more about it than Adam and Allison’s safety. Again, Katy took the bait instead, and he noted the frustration in her voice, marveling at how she was defending Adam suddenly.
“Why should that matter right now?” She asked him. “What... about-” Her voice broke off, and she shook her head, blond locks bouncing against her shoulders. “-your friends, and their serious medical conditions?”
“Well, of course that’s important,” he said, stumbling. “I just really want to know why it happened. And how…Christian was a good driver - there had to have been other factors involved...”
A red haze of blanketed frustration swam before Kris’ eyes. “I think the problem was purely mechanical, a brakes malfunction, if you want to know my guess.”
Michael nodded, but looked doubtful. “That’s possible,” he said. “I’d like to know further, however. And Adam was up there with him, I bet he knows something.”
For some reason, hot crimson anger filled Kris when Michael uttered his friend’s name. “I don’t think-” He started, not knowing that his voice had climbed several decibels and his hand had clenched into a fist. He didn’t even know what he was going to say.
“Guys?!” Lil piped up quietly. “This isn’t helping anything. Please calm down. It doesn’t matter right now.”
Kris took a deep, steadying breath, feeling the emotion drain away. “Yes, she’s right,” he added.
“Michael,” She continued. “I-I think I’m done eating now.” She stood. “I’m sure we’ll leave this place soon, but for now, Adam and Allison need us.”
“I...” Michael began.
“That’s all there is to it.” Kris said tersely, voice gravelly. Sarver fell silent and got to his feet without a word.
But Kris could still see that odd spark in his eyes, and he knew something wasn’t quite right.
----------------------
Stephanie caught him on his way back to Adam’s room. “I helped Allison back to her bed already and... are you all right, Mr. Allen?” she asked softly.
Kris lifted his eyes, realizing she must have noticed the bothered, frustrated look on his face. “Please,” He said distantly. “Call me Kris.”
She nodded. “Ok. Kris,” she said quickly. “Are you all right?”
Kris sighed, nodding. He actually felt steadier and more balanced since he’d eaten a filling meal and gotten some rest, but his head was still full of rushed, jumbled thoughts, and he still ached all over. “I’m fine, Stephanie. Thank you. How did Allison do?”
She smiled a little. “Well, I think. She’s resting now, in her own room. I let her stay until the drugs brought Mr. Lambert under again. But they were... well- I think they were very glad to see each other.”
He felt a true smile begin to curve his lips. “Well-good. I was hoping he’d wake up and see her. That’s-that’s good news. And Adam’s doing better?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure. I want to stay yes, because he did brighten a little to see her doing well, but I don’t know yet. He still seems so... drained.”
“Drained?” Kris repeated, the word falling oddly from his lips.
“Yes.” She looked at him. “I wonder if you could tell me, Mr. All-Kris.” She corrected herself ruefully and smiled. “Do you know the last time he slept? As in without the aid of drugs? Before the crash?”
Kris blinked, thinking of Adam, seated on the couch, his silhouette lit up in the darkness of the wee hours by the blue glow from his laptop. “Slept?”
“Yes,” she replied. She looked to him earnestly.
“I... I don’t know,” He said blankly. “He didn’t sleep the night of the accident. I know he fell asleep on the couch during the day, but that can’t have been for more than twenty minutes.”
“His condition is more like yours than you realize,” she professed sadly. “He’s been so worn down by exhaustion, plus everything else- I’m surprised he was still thinking straight. Well... I suppose he wasn’t most of the time. The drug-induced sleep has helped him a little and the IVs are giving him some strength as well, his wounds are actually healing, but-” She broke off, seeing Kris’ worry-stricken face. “I don’t know.”
It hit him at that moment exactly how stupid, how awfully and ridiculously stupid his interactions with Adam over the past few days had been. Every fiber of his soul ached for him as he remembered his agonizing silences, stress-inducing shouting matches, combined with the lack of sleep, and then the accident, and everything that came along with that.
“Oh my God,” He choked. “Can I see him? I-I won’t wake him up...I just-” He looked at the floor, suddenly filled with the urgent desire to pour out his heart, to let the tears he’d been keeping at bay fall, to make sure he was at his friend’s side.
Stephanie gazed at him for a long moment, reading his face. Then, she answered quietly, voice accepting and warm. “Of course, Kris,” she said. “Come with me.”
She turned away and he followed her, thoughts whirring in his brain, as she led him to Adam’s room and gently eased open the door. “Go ahead,” she said, and gestured into the room.
Kris stepped gingerly inside and walked over to stand beside the bed. Looking down at him, he felt as if he were seeing him for the first time in awhile - the angular planes of his cheekbones and the unkempt black hair that fanned slightly against the fabric as he nestled his face into the pillow, the hollow circles around his eyes mirroring Kris’ own, the lines of pain etched in the curve of his mouth, and the shadows of bruises splotched on his paled body.
He knelt down and reached out to touch his cheek tenderly, the backs of his fingers brushing the feverish skin, and Kris’ eyes prickled; the lump hardening in his throat. “I’m sorry, Adam,” he whispered again, but this time, it felt more real. “I’m so sorry.”
It wasn’t just an apology for the last few days and the fighting; the hell of the accident and the aftermath. It was an apology for Michael, and the parts of society that had never accepted him, and his stress level which had built and taken him over, and Allison, and whatever else had hurt him in his twenty-seven years of life. Because suddenly, Kris wished he had the superhuman power to take it all away.
-------------------------
Something stirring on the bed woke him, and he lifted his head and blinked sleep out of his eyes, only understanding as he awakened that he had fallen asleep leaned over Adam, his head drooped awkwardly against the hard, plastic bedframe. He straightened, ran a quick hand over his face and tried to pull himself into a coherent state of mind.
“K-Kris?” That confused, still partially hoarse voice was Adam’s, and Kris focused on his still form with a jolt. He had turned his head on the pillow slightly to search for Kris’ gaze, but his eyes were heavy-lidded he could only make out tiny slits of blue examining him.
“Yes?” He managed to croak. “I’m here, Adam.”
His friend blinked, and it seemed to take an eternity for his long, sweeping lashes to settle against his cheeks and lift up again. He rasped, his voice still a quiet mumble. “W-why? Why are you... here?” He took a breath, honest questioning pain in his face.
Damn. Kris tried to think of a fitting way to explain it, and failed miserably. He settled on, “Because... I do care, Adam.” And the reply sounded helpless and lost.
A painful, bitter cough of a laugh was Adam’s response. “You care...” His voice was rough with stinging sarcasm. His shoulders shook with a hollow sigh. “What about ... Katy?” His voice cracked and broke on her name. “I understand... if you feel guilty... but that’s s-stupid, I’m the one who... chose... I w-went up there with Christian,’” His voice was as close to mocking as he could make it sound through the mask. “I get it... don’t feel guilty... you can stop worrying a-about being... a bad husband. You don’t h-have to come... t’ see me anymore.”
His words were unadulterated agony to Kris. The darkness, the bitterness in the undertones of his voice, and the fragility of his gaze as he watched him for a reaction.
He was still looking straight at him now, bright blue eyes red-rimmed and lined with fatigue. “’S’okay,” he hummed sadly. “It’s really... o-okay.”
“No!” The word was torn out of Kris’ throat abruptly at the pain Adam was causing him. “No, Adam, don’t say that. Stop... it’s not okay, and I do care... and I’m not staying with you just because I feel guilty, or obligated to.”
He closed his eyes. “I... thin’ you’re forgetting something... it’s me or Katy... Kr-Kris. Won’... let me go... but too scared to lose your wife... too.” His words were slurring together, tumbled strangely from his lips, and Kris remembered suddenly that on that day he’d spoken the most he had since being put in that bed.
“No, Adam,” He replied, scooting closer to him. He reached out gently and took each of his shoulders in his hands, careful of his still-healing burns. “No. I couldn’t abandon you or Katy. I should have stood up for you with her when I knew what she was asking me to do was wrong... I should have refused to even have those ridiculously stupid arguments with you. But-but I didn’t. I failed you then, Adam. But Katy’s accepted that it’s wrong and she’s very sorry... and I’m very sorry... I love you, and you’re my best friend. I’m not going to fail you again.” The wealth of this admission and all the weight of it started the tears again, and they fell from his cheeks, salty droplets of moisture raining against the blanket.
Adam looked up at Kris through his lashes. His eyes were still drooping and heavy, but he could see tears pooling there as well, and it quickened his heart. “’M’sorry,” he whispered brokenly.
“Why are you apologizing?” Kris asked, sniffling and staring down at him. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Sorry ‘bout you and Katy.” He explained thickly. “I know you love her - I j-jus’ didn’t want to lose you... to her. I should’ve b-been more understanding.”
“Adam.” Kris said firmly. “It’s okay. It’s nothing you did, really.”
“T-t-tell me-” he couldn’t finish, and broke off with a low, tiny moan.
“What?” He asked. “What, Adam?”
“Where’s... Allie...?” he asked hoarsely, seemingly impatient with his own weakness. “She’s b-back in her room-right?-she’s okay...?”
“I promise,” Kris said. “She’s fine, even a little better now. She was so happy to see you. She’s sleeping...”
The smile that curved Adam’s lips was almost whole. “And you? Y-you’re okay, too?”
His eyes closed, and Kris could feel his arm muscles relax under his fingers where he’d reached down to give Adam a reassuring squeeze.
“Fine...” he started; voice barely audible. “I...” But then he was at a loss for words, his words dying on his lips, as he felt Adam’s warm fingers slowly wrap around his, his hand then going so still limp it was nearly lifeless.
“Good...” Adam mumbled, and he was unconscious again.
-------------
Oh, my heart! *glares at Adam* Quit breaking it, gosh.
The reconciliation begins? Maybe, just maybe?
;) So, thoughts?
Genre: Angst/Drama
Rating: PG-13
Summary: (part 5) The healing process continues for Kris and Adam. Allison gets to visit with Adam as well, and that ends Adam’s fears about her condition. Kris grows wary of Michael, beginning to suspect something shady.
URLS of first four parts:
- http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/305652.html
- http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/314033.html
- http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/314033.html
- http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/322193.html
Notes:
I think you’ll like this chapter. ;) I have part 6 and 7 ready as well, and I’m working on 8.
I bet you’ll love part 6, and hate it too. If that makes sense.
*grins* Enjoy.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
Kris managed to fall into a real sleep that night. Sure, it was disrupted slightly by an endless stream of dreams- some memories, mostly of Adam, some of Katy- some distinct and others unclear and hazy.
A slight creaking sound cut through the sleepy fog that had overtaken him, and he rolled over and sat up in the bed Katy had checked out for them, brushing sleep out of his eyes. He sighed and pushed the dreams from his mind as he looked up, seeing Katy was already gone and glancing at the doorway, seeing Stephanie standing there, looking surprised that he was actually asleep.
A sheepish grin decorated her small face. “Mr. Allen?” she said. “I’m sorry to wake you-”
He stifled a yawn with his palm. “I was getting up anyway.”
Her skepticism jolted across her face, but she said nothing to retort. Instead her face grew serious. “I was hoping to speak to you,” she said instead. Her eyes were serious. Kris saw then that her face was a mask full of concern and anxiety. “What is it?” He asked about five seconds later, when he fully sat up and registered the look on her face.
“Several things,” she said slowly. “I was going to check in on Miss Iraheta-would you mind accompanying me? I’ll tell you along the way.”
“Not at all.” Kris fell into step beside her, and they depart from the room. “What things?” He asked her as they moved through the corridor.
She sighed. “Well, for one, I’m afraid Mr. Lambert has taken a turn for the worse.”
Kris’ heart froze into a chunk of solid ice and leapt into his throat, and his stomach caved out. “W-worse?” He stammered. His voice went suddenly ragged, and he stared at her.
She saw the terrified look in his eyes, and shook her head. “Nothing that bad, only a little bit worse. I guess whatever happened yesterday was kind of a shock to his body, and it weakened him slightly. And falling off the bed wasn’t exactly the best thing for him, either. I replaced his bandages, and his burns look noticeably better, but I’m afraid he’s slipped back into unconsciousness and he’s a bit weaker than the doctors and I’d like for him to be. I don’t suppose you have any idea what set him off yesterday?”
“None,” Kris said honestly, letting a twinge of relief flood his senses.
She frowned, confused. “You told him Allison was all right earlier?”
Kris nodded. “I don’t quite understand it,” and he heaved a sigh of frustration. “Maybe he forgot, I mean... he hasn’t exactly been fully aware of everything and it could’ve slipped right past him.”
Her frown deepened at that. “I don’t know. He’s not that clueless to what goes on around him... are you sure you didn’t say or do anything to set him off when you visited earlier?”
Kris shook his head. “I don’t think so. And there were hours in between the two times I went in there...”
She bit her lip, stopping in the hallway and turning. “Do you think someone else might have . . . said something to him?”
Kris slowed his steps and halted beside her. “Like who?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. But he’s allowed visitors now, someone else could’ve-” She looked down at her clipboard.
Kris’ mind immediately jumped through several scenarios, but he still felt sleepy and had a hard time considering each one.
“Was there anything else?” Kris asked softly, finally.
She began walking again and turned the corner toward Allie’s room. “I’m also a little worried about her,” she said. “She’s getting better... but she’s still very tired, it seems like she should be regaining her energy faster. I wonder if it’s her stress... the fact that she’s worried, that’s doing it.”
“What can we do?” Kris asked quickly. “What can I do?” He’d do anything he could to help her.
She gave me a tired grin and stopped in front of Allison’s door. “Well, she and Mr. Lambert are very close, obviously... ” she started.
Kris nodded emphatically. “Yes... very close friends."
“And he is obviously worried for her and cares a lot about her as well,” She prompted. Kris nodded again.
“What are you suggesting, then?” He mumbled, trying not to yawn.
She grinned. “I bet she wants to see him. I suggest we let her. It might help both of them.”
Kris blinked at that. “I-are you sure he’s strong enough?”
She sighed. “No. And my supervisor almost said no - but I convinced him, because in the end, we think it would be better for her to see him, rather than not.”
Then the door opened, and she was stepping inside, Kris following.
Allison was lying in the bed with her eyes closed, but they fluttered open when they entered the room. Stephanie was right. She looked exhausted. Her eyes looked hollow and her skin was ashen and pale, making the bruises stand out angrily against the contours of her youthful face. “Kris . . .” she said, in a tired, breathy voice. “Stephanie. Good morning.”
“Good morning, honey,” Stephanie said gently. “How are you feeling?”
Allison blinked, slowly, then tried to sit up, leaning heavily on her pillows. “Fine,” she said. “I’m fine. How’s . . . Adam?”
“Would you like to see for yourself?” Kris asked, approaching her with a small smile.
“S-see him?” She asked, and light poured slowly into her face. “Is he well enough for that?” Allie asked cautiously.
“He’s as well as can be expected... and he’s stable,” Stephanie replied. “And he’s not far. Just down the hallway. Do you feel up to it?”
Allison sat up, a real smile gracing her cheeks. “Of course I do,” she said, almost stubbornly. “Kris, help me stand?”
He glanced at Stephanie, and when she nodded, he went to Allie’s side as she slid her legs off the side of the bed and he gently lifted her tiny frame until she stood on her feet.
She was leaning heavily on him, and refused a wheelchair as they stepped slowly across the room and out the door, the look on her face determined and nearly haughty. “This isn’t so hard,” she declared.
But by the time they’d reached Adam’s door, her face was shining in exertion and her feet were dragging a bit. Stephanie held it open, and Kris helped her stumble inside and over to the side of Adam’s bed. She sank down onto the edge of the bed, sighing.
Kris watched her eyes rove over him, hesitant. “Adam?” she whispered, her voice soft. She reached forward as if she were about to touch his face, hovering over his cheek, but her fingers trembled when she saw the breath mask. She pulled her hand back, swallowing. For a moment, Kris saw fear and indecisiveness sparkle in her eyes, but the rest of her face shone with love and concern. “Wow,” she murmured, and looked up at me. “K-Kris-”
He took a step forward and laid a hand on her shoulder, almost like a reflex. “He might not be able to hear you,” Kris whispered in sad explanation. “It’s all right, though. I know-he does love you.”
She took a breath, and smiled bravely up into Kris’ face. “I know that,” she pointed out, giggling a little.
“Kris?” The tentative voice made him jump, and he wondered briefly if he was really so tired that he hadn’t seen Katy standing by the door until just then. He squeezed Allie’s shoulder and stepped toward his wife, stopping short of entering the hallway and leaning on the door frame.
“Good morning,” he said awkwardly, and her hand found his.
“You brought Allie in to see him?” She asked quizzically, but her eyes were bright.
“Stephanie thought it would be better if they saw each other, at least,” He told her, looking over at the two. “I agreed with her.” And then Kris realized he hadn’t told Katy about what had happened yesterday. “He ... really lost it yesterday... just at the mere thought she might not be okay. And she’s been really worried about him.”
“Yes.” Katy grinned. “I think it’s a brilliant idea.”
“I wish he were awake, though,” Kris added in a voice that was little more than a whisper. “That way he could see with his own eyes that she’s fine. She’s the one person that I think can give him strength in all this.”
Katy peered at him thoughtfully. “I think you’re underestimating yourself, honey.”
He stared blankly.
“You are more to him than just a friend,” Katy said. “You really are like brothers, almost. Don’t discount that.”
She kissed his cheek playfully and squeezed his arm, and he sighed thoughtfully.
---------------
He vaguely felt a gentle, cautious touch to his aching head, and fingers gently brushing a few strands of hair from his face. His mind tumbled back and floundered in the darkness, but he pulled it away stubbornly, willing himself to open his eyes.
He heard her whispering to him, that voice very clear and distinct to him, but the words jumbled nonsensically. His eyelids heavy, he groggily focused on the tiny hand pressed softly to his cheek. “Adam,” came her timid voice, and his breath caught in his throat in a near-sob at the very sound of it. “Adam... can you hear me?”
He rolled his head back slightly until he could see her face, framed by messy red curls, come into view. She looked pale, and very tired, but she was there, she was Allison, she was all right, and this realization made him blink back tears of relief impatiently, for they blurred his sight of her. “Hey... sweetheart,” he whispered, the breath mask twisting his words into a ragged and deep sound, unfamiliar and unnatural.
Allison’s eyes widened, and her hand jumped from his face. Her gaze met his, and Adam read fear in her gaze.
He felt his heart stop, and then shatter a bit. “D-don’t look at me like that, Allie,” he stammered, his words falling all over themselves as they struggled to get past his lips. “I-I’m okay-” Pain rose into his perception, and he pushed it away in denial, needing for his words to her to be true. Tears were clinging to Allison’s cheeks, and the sight stung him.
“H-how can you be so sure of that?” She whispered in return, and her voice was thick and syrupy, laden with the weight of her tears. “You don’t know that...”
Adam tried to shift a bit, so he could look at her straight in the face, and pushed the cobwebs from the corners of his eyes. “N-no, Allison,” he gasped desperately, looking urgently at her. “I’m-I’m fine. Really. I was so-I thought I lost you, girl. N-never . . . scare me like that again. Please...”
She pressed a small hand to her mouth and closed her eyes for a brief moment. “Adam-oh, Adam, what’s happened to you? Where’s the Adam Lambert I know? My big brother?”
“Right here!” Adam’s voice shook with emotion, as he replied quickly, the exclamation scraping out of his throat. “I’m right . . . here, Allie.”
The outburst was too much for him, the remainder of his oxygen was cut off as the respiratory machine fought to catch up with him. Allison stared at the whirring device in intimidation and fear, eyeing the cords connecting to the mask on his face.
Her hands settled in her lap and he watched him gasp softly. “I-I’m scared,” she whispered. “I’m scared, Adam. So... scared.”
He struggled to relax, and the breath found him again. “Don’t be s-scared... everything’s gonna be... fine.”
Her gentle fingers rubbed against the skin above the mask, his bruised cheek. “I hope so.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and turned away, hating the trepidation in her eyes as she stared at him. “T-thank you... for coming to see me.” he mumbled.
“You’re welcome,” she whispered, voice low.
He forced his eyes open again suddenly, as if remembering. “A-are you... all right?”
“Fine.” Allison leaned forward and took his hand in hers, squeezing his fingers reassuringly. “I’m fine.” A shaky, gentle grin. “Everything’s just fine.”
Adam tried not to choke on his faltering sigh of relief, a warm feeling encasing his heart. He fought to lift his arm, weighed down by the tubes and cords running into it, and caught her wrist in his hand, tightening his fingers around it as if to prove he had some strength.
Her other hand closed over his. “Adam-” the name caught in her throat, and he winced at the sound of her voice, tiny and tired. “You need to stop this...” A slight edge of gentle teasing laced her words. “Stop this nonsense and get better... now.”
A tiny smirk twisted his lips. “I am. I will... I’m Adam Lambert- it’ll take... a whole hell of a l-lot more to bring me... down.”
Her mouth broke into faltering smile, the ghost of her usual amused grin. “Of course... I can’t believe the awesome power of your name slipped my mind.” There was a moment of lapsed silence between them, gentle smiles.
“This thing is scary.” Her fingers cautiously traced the breath mask.
“Well-hopefully I won’t need... to use it much longer.” He replied quietly, “I kind of feel like D-Darth Vader, or something.”
Allison was still reluctant to genuinely laugh, but she giggled uneasily and smiled at him. Adam’s heart gave a twinge at the laughter, he hadn’t heard real laughter from anyone in a while, nor had he laughed himself. He was amazed at the small chuckle that ached in his throat, escaping him in a wisp of air. “How are you feeling, Adam?” Allison asked worriedly.
Adam’s answer was to push himself recklessly upward, his arms pulling her to him, and embracing her. Her body was small and warm against his, and even though the action left him feeling even weaker and slightly pained, he smiled. Allison let out a surprised gasp, but hugged him back, grateful for the gesture.
She sighed contentedly and tiredly and let her head drop to rest on his pillow. Her hair spilled against the side of his face and she yawned.
“Everything’s... going to be fine,” he told her, knowing she was terrified, remembering that she was still a very young girl, and was trying her hardest to be brave.
She nodded her head and sat up. “I know, Adam. I know.” She blew out a trembling breath and squeezed his arm. “I know...” She repeated again.
---------------------------------
Katy roped Kris into actually sitting down and eating something with her in the hospital’s food area, and despite his ache not to leave my friends, his stomach agreed with her. Stephanie promised to keep an eye on the two of them, and there was no other excuse he could make that would allow denying Katy what she requested… and somewhere deep inside, he was well-aware that he sorely needed to eat something anyway. He couldn’t remember the last full meal he’d eaten, his mind a mess with memories and exhaustion.
He needed time with Katy, too.
He’d realized her being with him was soothing. It was something he could no longer avoid out of awkwardness, and had started to cherish again.
“Found time to finally take a break from everything and think about yourself?” She teased as he took a seat beside her, tray laden with a bagel, fruit, and a multitude of food that smelled delicious. He grunted tiredly and took a bite, making her giggle.
“Kris?” Lil and Michael were sitting at the table behind them.
Kris nodded at them. “Hey.” “Wow, you finally decided to let the doctors take care of Adam, huh?” Lil added to Katy’s sentiment, smiling.
Kris nodded, but caught the strange scowl adorning Michael’s face and stopped chewing, bemused. With a difficult swallow, he replied quickly. “Allison’s in there with him actually. It’s her turn.”
Lil’s eyes danced with happiness at that statement, and Michael wanted to say something, Kris could tell, but he refrained. Profoundly grateful that he’d not unleashed whatever ignorant, dumbass thing he desired to say, Kris went back to his food.
Katy spoke again, her voice worried. “Look at this.” He eyed the newspaper she motioned to, scanning the headline, then reading it aloud in a low voice. “Shocking American Idol Tour Bus Accident Leaves Fans Confused and Worried.”
Michael sat bolt upright in his chair at that. “That’s it, we need to get moving. Out of this hospital, away from all this. Our fans are dumbstruck, and I’m sick of this.” Lil sent him a weird look across the table.
“We can’t,” Kris replied, his voice short, and hinging on annoyance. What is his problem, anyway?
He was struck with a sudden memory of Michael’s cold treatment of Adam, the silent frowns, hardened eyes, and rigid shoulders that were always there when Adam was in the same room.
“Adam and Allison aren’t ready to leave,” Katy continued for him, “Both of them are too weak, still. Adam had a bit of a...” She glanced at Kris, who was lost in thought, “...downturn yesterday, but hopefully he’ll pull out of that. I bet soon enough they’ll be strong and healed to the point where you all can get back on the road. I don’t know how soon, but no one does, really.”
“A downturn?” Michael repeated, and there was a strange tone in his voice. Kris looked at him-seeing his eyes crackle with something repressed.
“He’ll be fine,” He reflected out loud. “Just a little shock to his system, that’s all. He’s strong.”
Lil nodded, the worry that had crinkled her brow dissipating, but Michael was still staring at him in that faraway, odd way, and a spark of annoyance flared inside Kris.
“What kind of downturn?” Sarver repeated, sounding vaguely curious, but a frisson of disquiet ran along his spine at the undertones in his voice. “Nothing too bad... I hope?”
“Nothing terrible,” Kris said cautiously, and he as sounded as wary as he felt, but he didn’t care. “Not really threatening... just unexpected and unfortunate.”
“Hm.” Michael mused. “Well, that’s good to hear.”
He shifted uncomfortably, not hearing sincerity in the words. “Yes, it is.”
“He was more worried about Allison then himself,” Michael continued. “Funny, isn’t it?” How is that funny? Kris thought bitterly. “-but she’s doing better now too, right?-we can leave soon, then. And focus more on figuring out why the hell we even crashed in the first place...”
Kris didn’t even want to remark on that, for he couldn’t believe Michael cared more about it than Adam and Allison’s safety. Again, Katy took the bait instead, and he noted the frustration in her voice, marveling at how she was defending Adam suddenly.
“Why should that matter right now?” She asked him. “What... about-” Her voice broke off, and she shook her head, blond locks bouncing against her shoulders. “-your friends, and their serious medical conditions?”
“Well, of course that’s important,” he said, stumbling. “I just really want to know why it happened. And how…Christian was a good driver - there had to have been other factors involved...”
A red haze of blanketed frustration swam before Kris’ eyes. “I think the problem was purely mechanical, a brakes malfunction, if you want to know my guess.”
Michael nodded, but looked doubtful. “That’s possible,” he said. “I’d like to know further, however. And Adam was up there with him, I bet he knows something.”
For some reason, hot crimson anger filled Kris when Michael uttered his friend’s name. “I don’t think-” He started, not knowing that his voice had climbed several decibels and his hand had clenched into a fist. He didn’t even know what he was going to say.
“Guys?!” Lil piped up quietly. “This isn’t helping anything. Please calm down. It doesn’t matter right now.”
Kris took a deep, steadying breath, feeling the emotion drain away. “Yes, she’s right,” he added.
“Michael,” She continued. “I-I think I’m done eating now.” She stood. “I’m sure we’ll leave this place soon, but for now, Adam and Allison need us.”
“I...” Michael began.
“That’s all there is to it.” Kris said tersely, voice gravelly. Sarver fell silent and got to his feet without a word.
But Kris could still see that odd spark in his eyes, and he knew something wasn’t quite right.
----------------------
Stephanie caught him on his way back to Adam’s room. “I helped Allison back to her bed already and... are you all right, Mr. Allen?” she asked softly.
Kris lifted his eyes, realizing she must have noticed the bothered, frustrated look on his face. “Please,” He said distantly. “Call me Kris.”
She nodded. “Ok. Kris,” she said quickly. “Are you all right?”
Kris sighed, nodding. He actually felt steadier and more balanced since he’d eaten a filling meal and gotten some rest, but his head was still full of rushed, jumbled thoughts, and he still ached all over. “I’m fine, Stephanie. Thank you. How did Allison do?”
She smiled a little. “Well, I think. She’s resting now, in her own room. I let her stay until the drugs brought Mr. Lambert under again. But they were... well- I think they were very glad to see each other.”
He felt a true smile begin to curve his lips. “Well-good. I was hoping he’d wake up and see her. That’s-that’s good news. And Adam’s doing better?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure. I want to stay yes, because he did brighten a little to see her doing well, but I don’t know yet. He still seems so... drained.”
“Drained?” Kris repeated, the word falling oddly from his lips.
“Yes.” She looked at him. “I wonder if you could tell me, Mr. All-Kris.” She corrected herself ruefully and smiled. “Do you know the last time he slept? As in without the aid of drugs? Before the crash?”
Kris blinked, thinking of Adam, seated on the couch, his silhouette lit up in the darkness of the wee hours by the blue glow from his laptop. “Slept?”
“Yes,” she replied. She looked to him earnestly.
“I... I don’t know,” He said blankly. “He didn’t sleep the night of the accident. I know he fell asleep on the couch during the day, but that can’t have been for more than twenty minutes.”
“His condition is more like yours than you realize,” she professed sadly. “He’s been so worn down by exhaustion, plus everything else- I’m surprised he was still thinking straight. Well... I suppose he wasn’t most of the time. The drug-induced sleep has helped him a little and the IVs are giving him some strength as well, his wounds are actually healing, but-” She broke off, seeing Kris’ worry-stricken face. “I don’t know.”
It hit him at that moment exactly how stupid, how awfully and ridiculously stupid his interactions with Adam over the past few days had been. Every fiber of his soul ached for him as he remembered his agonizing silences, stress-inducing shouting matches, combined with the lack of sleep, and then the accident, and everything that came along with that.
“Oh my God,” He choked. “Can I see him? I-I won’t wake him up...I just-” He looked at the floor, suddenly filled with the urgent desire to pour out his heart, to let the tears he’d been keeping at bay fall, to make sure he was at his friend’s side.
Stephanie gazed at him for a long moment, reading his face. Then, she answered quietly, voice accepting and warm. “Of course, Kris,” she said. “Come with me.”
She turned away and he followed her, thoughts whirring in his brain, as she led him to Adam’s room and gently eased open the door. “Go ahead,” she said, and gestured into the room.
Kris stepped gingerly inside and walked over to stand beside the bed. Looking down at him, he felt as if he were seeing him for the first time in awhile - the angular planes of his cheekbones and the unkempt black hair that fanned slightly against the fabric as he nestled his face into the pillow, the hollow circles around his eyes mirroring Kris’ own, the lines of pain etched in the curve of his mouth, and the shadows of bruises splotched on his paled body.
He knelt down and reached out to touch his cheek tenderly, the backs of his fingers brushing the feverish skin, and Kris’ eyes prickled; the lump hardening in his throat. “I’m sorry, Adam,” he whispered again, but this time, it felt more real. “I’m so sorry.”
It wasn’t just an apology for the last few days and the fighting; the hell of the accident and the aftermath. It was an apology for Michael, and the parts of society that had never accepted him, and his stress level which had built and taken him over, and Allison, and whatever else had hurt him in his twenty-seven years of life. Because suddenly, Kris wished he had the superhuman power to take it all away.
-------------------------
Something stirring on the bed woke him, and he lifted his head and blinked sleep out of his eyes, only understanding as he awakened that he had fallen asleep leaned over Adam, his head drooped awkwardly against the hard, plastic bedframe. He straightened, ran a quick hand over his face and tried to pull himself into a coherent state of mind.
“K-Kris?” That confused, still partially hoarse voice was Adam’s, and Kris focused on his still form with a jolt. He had turned his head on the pillow slightly to search for Kris’ gaze, but his eyes were heavy-lidded he could only make out tiny slits of blue examining him.
“Yes?” He managed to croak. “I’m here, Adam.”
His friend blinked, and it seemed to take an eternity for his long, sweeping lashes to settle against his cheeks and lift up again. He rasped, his voice still a quiet mumble. “W-why? Why are you... here?” He took a breath, honest questioning pain in his face.
Damn. Kris tried to think of a fitting way to explain it, and failed miserably. He settled on, “Because... I do care, Adam.” And the reply sounded helpless and lost.
A painful, bitter cough of a laugh was Adam’s response. “You care...” His voice was rough with stinging sarcasm. His shoulders shook with a hollow sigh. “What about ... Katy?” His voice cracked and broke on her name. “I understand... if you feel guilty... but that’s s-stupid, I’m the one who... chose... I w-went up there with Christian,’” His voice was as close to mocking as he could make it sound through the mask. “I get it... don’t feel guilty... you can stop worrying a-about being... a bad husband. You don’t h-have to come... t’ see me anymore.”
His words were unadulterated agony to Kris. The darkness, the bitterness in the undertones of his voice, and the fragility of his gaze as he watched him for a reaction.
He was still looking straight at him now, bright blue eyes red-rimmed and lined with fatigue. “’S’okay,” he hummed sadly. “It’s really... o-okay.”
“No!” The word was torn out of Kris’ throat abruptly at the pain Adam was causing him. “No, Adam, don’t say that. Stop... it’s not okay, and I do care... and I’m not staying with you just because I feel guilty, or obligated to.”
He closed his eyes. “I... thin’ you’re forgetting something... it’s me or Katy... Kr-Kris. Won’... let me go... but too scared to lose your wife... too.” His words were slurring together, tumbled strangely from his lips, and Kris remembered suddenly that on that day he’d spoken the most he had since being put in that bed.
“No, Adam,” He replied, scooting closer to him. He reached out gently and took each of his shoulders in his hands, careful of his still-healing burns. “No. I couldn’t abandon you or Katy. I should have stood up for you with her when I knew what she was asking me to do was wrong... I should have refused to even have those ridiculously stupid arguments with you. But-but I didn’t. I failed you then, Adam. But Katy’s accepted that it’s wrong and she’s very sorry... and I’m very sorry... I love you, and you’re my best friend. I’m not going to fail you again.” The wealth of this admission and all the weight of it started the tears again, and they fell from his cheeks, salty droplets of moisture raining against the blanket.
Adam looked up at Kris through his lashes. His eyes were still drooping and heavy, but he could see tears pooling there as well, and it quickened his heart. “’M’sorry,” he whispered brokenly.
“Why are you apologizing?” Kris asked, sniffling and staring down at him. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Sorry ‘bout you and Katy.” He explained thickly. “I know you love her - I j-jus’ didn’t want to lose you... to her. I should’ve b-been more understanding.”
“Adam.” Kris said firmly. “It’s okay. It’s nothing you did, really.”
“T-t-tell me-” he couldn’t finish, and broke off with a low, tiny moan.
“What?” He asked. “What, Adam?”
“Where’s... Allie...?” he asked hoarsely, seemingly impatient with his own weakness. “She’s b-back in her room-right?-she’s okay...?”
“I promise,” Kris said. “She’s fine, even a little better now. She was so happy to see you. She’s sleeping...”
The smile that curved Adam’s lips was almost whole. “And you? Y-you’re okay, too?”
His eyes closed, and Kris could feel his arm muscles relax under his fingers where he’d reached down to give Adam a reassuring squeeze.
“Fine...” he started; voice barely audible. “I...” But then he was at a loss for words, his words dying on his lips, as he felt Adam’s warm fingers slowly wrap around his, his hand then going so still limp it was nearly lifeless.
“Good...” Adam mumbled, and he was unconscious again.
-------------
Oh, my heart! *glares at Adam* Quit breaking it, gosh.
The reconciliation begins? Maybe, just maybe?
;) So, thoughts?