Fic: Finale
Fiction (5,000 words)
My first post, please give feedback.
Rating: NC-17
Tags: Adam, Kris, adult, explicit
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they are real people, they own themselves. These situations are all fiction.
Summary: Adam and Kris's relationship is changing, but it's hard to get a moment alone on tour...
Kris wasn’t sure where it changed - the light hearted, mildly flirtatious banter that had become a trademark of his friendship with Adam. The kind of stuff that had made the US magazine interview an internet sensation - when Adam had answered the question about “who is going to take the top bunk on the tour bus”, after a mischievous pause, with “I like the top” and Kris had pinched his lips together with a gleam in his eyes as if to say, “no, you did not just go there on camera” and then they had both cracked up…
It was certainly changing by a few days after Adam’s Rolling Stone interview, his big “coming out” party, when the nugget everybody - media, fans - had grabbed at was another tiny little revelation: that Adam had found his roommate “cute” and “distracting” but of course, “100% straight.” Kris had been very careful about responding when the hounds all came hunting him down for a comment. He was not surprised at Adam’s remarks - Adam had said as much, right to his face, early on in their friendship and Kris didn’t see any need to make a big deal about it. He had even said to Adam with a grin, “I guess, if I make it big on this show, I’ll be a heartthrob to men and women alike."
“Of course, I’ll still be the most awesome guy to feel that way about you,” Adam said matter-of-factly.
“No argument there,” was Kris’s comeback, and Kris looked to this conversation as the moment that Adam saw him as different than most of those people labeled as “evangelical Christians.” Before this, Adam had been holding back a bit, not being completely himself and relaxed with Kris. After this, they could chat about anything at all - Kris’s wife, Adam’s boyfriend, life in general.
So it was natural for Kris to call Adam up on the cell and ask him, “You’re so good with the media, and I’m so unsure of myself sometimes… How do I respond to them about you thinking I’m cute?” Kris could feel himself blushing even as he said it, but Adam just came back with “Be very short in your comments. Just say you’re flattered. Any more than that and you may get yourself into trouble.”
It was good advice - so simple! Why didn’t he think of it? Because of course he couldn’t say what he really wanted to say, which was that he was more than flattered - he was kind of hot about the whole thing and he’d known for a while that he was “crushing” on Adam as much as, if not more than, Adam was crushing on him.
But he hadn’t kept it to one word: flattered. He’d added another word: hilarious. The whole big deal was hilarious, how even a few simple words could get the press and the fans so worked up. But when it came out in print he was immediately worried. It sounded like he was laughing at Adam. He knew he had to talk to him, as soon as they saw each other the next day for the first studio recording work. He sent a simple text to Adam - “gotta talk, see you tomorrow” and all Adam responded was “k”. What was Adam thinking? Oh, how Kris hated this press thing. He didn’t like a friendship being filtered through entertainment and gossip rags.
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The next day, the Idol handlers arranged to pick them both up to go to the studio. That was the great thing about them being in the top two - there was so much they got to do together. Kris wondered how that had worked out for “top twos” who didn’t get along as well as they did. He had a hard time picturing Carrie Underwood and Bo Bice as best buds, but they had gotten this same treatment: together for nearly everything. Kris was so glad it was Adam he was paired with.
As soon as the handlers got distracted with something else, Kris blurted out “I didn’t mean you when I said hilarious…they never get anything to sound right.. I wouldn’t hurt you…”
Adam squeezed his knee to interrupt him. “Hey you, stop worrying. I have pretty thick skin. You forget about some of the stuff I’ve been through. I’ve taught myself to take things for their best possible meaning, not the worst. I figured you meant the whole media circus as the hilarious part, am I right?”
Kris sighed. “I’m glad we are SO on the same wavelength. Thank you. I feel so much better.” Then Kris lightly put his hand on Adam’s hand, still resting there on his knee.
Adam cleared his throat and glanced at the handlers, still talking with each other and paying no attention. “I would love for you to elaborate for me a little bit more than you could for the press. How did you really feel when I said that about you? I can take it if it bothered you a little. It’s okay.”
“Bothered? Yeah, you could say I was bothered.” Kris’s voice got husky as he took a deep breath and decided to plunge on in to the topic. “Hot and bothered, that is.”
Adam’s smile lit up the limo. “Well, you couldn’t tell the press that, could you now?” Their laughs filled the car and the handlers suddenly seemed to get interested in what they were talking about. Adam whispered, “Later.”
They finally had a few moments during a break to renew the conversation, and Kris approached the subject. “There is one thing that bothered me for real about what you said in Rolling Stone.”
Adam looked concerned. “Tell me. You know we don’t keep things from each other.”
“It was that whole ‘100% straight’ line about me. I don’t think most people are ‘100%’ anything, including gay or straight, really. That’s kind of a lame label. And have you ever asked me if I think of myself as 100% straight?”
Adam’s smile was hard to read. Maybe it was hope dawning. “I just assumed, seeing as you are married to a beautiful woman and all…”
“Well, there’s your problem,” Kris came back with a grin. “You should know better than to assume things about people.”
“So, for the sake of argument, if I had asked you back when we started getting to know each other what percentage of ‘straight’ you were on an imaginary ‘gay/straight continuum’ what would you have told me?”
Kris laughed. “Got me there. I probably would have said 100%, or maybe 99%.”
Adam’s raised an eyebrow mischievously. “And now? What would you say to the same question now?”
“Ummm, that’s harder to answer.” Kris took another deep breath and then took the plunge, all the way in to confession. “How would you label a guy who’s never been attracted to another guy before but keeps on thinking about kissing you? And thinking about more than kissing, and can’t get it out of his head?”
“Well, I guess that depends on if it’s merely curiosity, or if you really are falling for me, or if you really are getting attracted to guys in general.”
Kris got a little huffy. “I’m NOT getting attracted to guys in general… and I’m not just curious, either.”
“Good.” Adam got a little knowing smile. “I love you the way you are, I don’t want you changing. Your wife is adorable and you have a great life. You aren’t allowed to love men… except for me. We can keep that our little secret, at least try the best we can with cameras following us everywhere.”
“So?” Kris asked. “Your estimate of my ‘straight’ percentage?”
“Ninety percent straight. I revise my assumptions.”
Kris smiled, and looked all around. To his surprise, there weren’t any people or cameras around at the moment. He gazed into Adam’s eyes with longing, parted his lips ever so slightly, and leaned in to Adam. Adam had no trouble at all with signals and he leaned in, too. Their lips touched for the first time, ever so softly at first. Kris sighed into Adam’s soft mouth, and Adam gave a little groan and leaned in harder, flicking his tongue gently into Kris’s mouth as Kris engaged him with his own tongue. It was a fleeting moment; it was forever. Kris’s head was spinning as they pulled apart but kept their foreheads touching for a few burning seconds. “Wow” was the only word to come out of Kris’s mouth, and Adam pressed his lips down the side of Kris’s head and stopped at his ear with an exhale of breath and a bit of tongue and then whispered again, “later.”
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After the studio session, the limo arrived to take them both home: Adam was local so was staying in his own apartment until the idol tour started, and Kris was with his wife and family at a nearby hotel supplied by the show. Kris was pondering the upcoming schedule - some studio work, but mostly busy days getting ready to tour. Then there would be that tour bus he’d heard so much about - not much room, even less privacy, with occasional hotel nights when there was time between cities. Alone hotel nights - top tens weren’t required to have roommates.
He decided to speak up. “Hey, can you take Adam home first? I need to have a few minutes to stop in there, if you don’t mind.” The driver shrugged and said, “doesn’t matter to me,” and Adam avoided Kris’ eyes because he was afraid he’d reveal something and the handlers would catch on. But he knew Kris was setting up “later” the best he could under the circumstances.
When both men walked toward Adam’s apartment, Kris asked with concern whether Adam’s boyfriend would be there and was relieved when Adam replied in the negative. As soon as they stepped in and closed the door, Adam wasted no time, pinning Kris against the door, cradling his head with one hand and placing the other one on the small of Kris’s back. He pulled Kris up tight against him and began to trail hot kisses from Kris’s left ear to Kris’s neck, nibbling on the soft flesh. Kris moaned and said, “we don’t have long, please kiss me again. Nothing ever felt so good.”
Adam moaned and took this mouth, deep and urgent and the exploration was sweet. Kris wished it never had to stop, but the limo was waiting. “Umm, gotta go,” he finally croaked out. “Limo waiting, family waiting, you know….”
Adam nodded, pulling Kris in close. “We’re gonna have to be careful, take this slow. I don’t want to tear any families apart, you know that.” Kris did know that, but he also knew he wanted Adam, wanted him bad, and this was going to be one miserable tour if he didn’t figure out how to handle all this.
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What turned out to be most miserable was that they hardly had a few moments for conversation, let alone “getting to know each other better” over the days leading up to the tour. And on the bus, Adam was true to his word: preferring to be “on top,” he took the upper bunk with Kris just below him. So close. So far away. During the long boring travel times, they often sat together on the bottom bunk and talked, but not about anything earth shattering. Too many “idol” ears around. And when they did get a hotel for the night, it was often for just enough hours to sleep in a decent bed and head out again the next day. Rooms all close to each other, the ten chosen ones and their handlers. Impossible to be in Adam’s room, or Adam in his, for any lengthy period of time without drawing attention.
After a couple of weeks on tour with no more than a few brief kisses snatched at great danger, Kris’s was feeling so lonely for Adam that he again made the first move. They had often talked briefly before going to bed, just like old times, only these days it was over a cell phone from a room or two away. This time, Kris just sent one brief text: “Lonely. Phone sex?”
In the split second it took the words to fly two doors down, his phone was vibrating and Adam was laughing and breathless at the other end. “Imagine that! I was just thinking the same thing.” Kris could see Adam in his mind, laughing raucously, stretched out on the bed. He wasted no time. “Tell me what you’re wearing, Adam.”
There was a smile in Adam’s voice as he said, “I knew you weren’t just being nice all those times you showed interest in my wardrobe.”
“Well, are you still in those tight leather pants? Cause if so, get them off.”
“Oh, my dear, I am so going to get something off.”
Kris felt the heat spreading across his face and his belly. “I was already naked when I called you. Are you naked yet or do I have to come down the hall in my altogether and make you.”
“Hum…that does sound interesting,” Adam replied. “ But not very smart. No, I’m all skin for you, my love. What would you like me to do? Tell me.”
Kris tried to keep his composure but this was so hot. His own erection was already hard and dripping a little cum. “Grab onto that cock of yours and we are so going to come together. Just stroke for me, real gentle, and tell me how it feels.”
“It feels so great because I’m imagining you doing this for me, Kris. I really want you to do this for me.”
Kris swallowed hard and tried to conceal his groan. He didn’t want to come too quickly but this was the biggest turn on. “I really want to be doing it for you, Adam. And I really, really want you to do it for me. Only with your mouth - I want your mouth on me, Adam.”
Adam’s voice was thick with emotion. “I would take it all for you. Nothing would make me happier.”
Even slowing down his strokes, Kris knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He hoped, if he ever got to be so close to Adam, he would have better staying power. “I’m about to come, Adam. Are you close?”
“I’m ready whenever you are, baby. I’m right on the edge and holding on.”
And Kris listened as Adam’s moans intensified and the waves swept over him, too. He held his phone tight in his free hand and listened to Adam breathe. He didn’t want to say a word or break the spell; he just wanted to think about lying in Adam’s arms while coming down from this tidal wave.
Finally Adam broke the silence. “Previews of good things to come. Good night, my love.”
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Phone lovin’ and stolen kisses and discrete body brushes and “brotherly” hugs got them by for the next several weeks of touring. Mostly Kris was thankful they got to work together every single day, to try some new songs and to improve on some old ones, and to make “eye love” whenever nobody was watching closely. Of course, there were enough reporters around that some of those meaningful looks got caught on digital for the world to see but there were so many of those kinds of pictures floating around from their “love you like a brother” days that nobody thought too much of it. Except for maybe those rabid “Kradam” fans, the ones Kris had recently discovered who latched on to the two of them from about the top 9 or 10 during the show and who had voted for both of them, repeatedly, every single week, determined to see the two of them together. For these fans, they were better together than apart. Kris was coming to the same conclusion.
Adam had even taken the chance, as discretely as possible during a rehearsal break, to find some very special fan sites online that Kris was clueless about and introduce him to “Kradam Fanfic,” crazed fan fiction of fantasies about the two of them. They were rated everything from PG to NC-17, but Adam clicked through till he found an NC-17 story for Kris to read. “You found that fast,” Kris said. “You’ve been here before.”
“Maybe.” Adam grinned. “See what you think. There are some pretty talented writers out there, completely dedicated to us screwing each other.”
“Man, I’m already screwed.” It came out of Kris’s mouth without even thinking, and a little louder than he intended, and both men tried not to laugh too loud or draw too much attention to themselves.
Kris read while Adam watched him with pleasure. Kris tried to keep all expression from his face as he read the erotica, he and Adam as main characters. It was a weird, out-of-body sort of experience, and he found himself carried along by it, trying not to become aroused but impossible not to. When it came to the story finale - more properly, climax - Kris couldn’t help but blurt out (more quietly this time) “Thanks a lot, Adam. Now I’m not going to be able to move or get up from this chair unless there’s a cold shower nearby.”
“I am way better than a cold shower,” Adam said with glee. “I found a nice little nook in this building, a costume area, that nobody locks. We’ve got 15 minutes till break is over.”
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It took Adam no time at all to prove he was better than a cold shower. He had Kris pinned against the back of the door and his jeans off him in record time, and was kissing and teasing at Kris’s hot belly and grabbing his ass and tugging down his briefs seemingly all at once. Kris was out of his head with desire, and when Adam took possession of his cock with his mouth Kris tried to hold on. He couldn’t come this fast! But it felt so good as Adam worked the outside of his dick with his tongue, running it up and down the underside and then pausing to lick the head before taking him inside his mouth. He started sucking on a few inches of Kris’s hardened length, and then took more and more of him until he had it all and Kris was coming and he never even thought to warn Adam but Adam obviously didn’t care. He just took long swallows of Kris’s cum and used his own shirt to wipe some off his mouth. “I get to take some of Kris with me - how great is that?”
Kris was still trembling as he pushed Adam to the floor and tugged at his zipper and eased his pants down off his hips. He’d loved the blow job he just received more than the first time he’d had sex or any experience since then. But still, he had received a blow job before. He sure hadn’t given one and he felt his cock already start to twitch with feelings even though he had just been emptied. “Damn, you look too good,” Kris practically growled as he captured Adam’s mouth with his and rubbed his stomach back and forth across Adam’s hardness. “Oh, baby,” Adam purred. “You’d better do me fast, our break’s about over and somebody’s liable to come looking for us.”
Kris wanted to take his time but he knew Adam was right so he got to work, a little awkwardly at first but catching on fast. “Oh, yeah, Oh baby, Kris you are so beautiful,” Adam began to moan the words out as Kris worked his cock like an expert. Adam did remember to warn Kris when the explosion was coming, but Kris figured he’d handle the flow when it erupted. He didn’t want to miss any part of this most amazing man. He couldn’t swallow as expertly as Adam, of course, but he was pleased he didn’t gag and it didn’t taste unpleasant at all. He also used his shirt to wipe the cum off his mouth and chin and pulled himself across the taller man’s frame to lay with his full weight on top of him, eagerly claiming Adam’s mouth for his own, moving gently against his body and wanting it to last forever. The moment was too short … they heard people moving around the building, apparently looking for them. Kris knew they would be so busted if anybody even caught them both coming out of that storage room together. “You are so freakin’ dangerous,” Kris said as they dressed hurriedly. Adam looked at Kris from the corner of his eye. “You started it.” And Kris’s only comeback was the truth he felt deep down inside: “And I don’t regret it.”
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Before they knew it, the tour was nearly at an end. Kris was hatching an idea that Adam thought might be too risky. Kris couldn’t believe that Adam was afraid of risk, but he knew it was because Adam cared about him and was terrified of ruining his life. All Kris knew was he was ruined already, completely and utterly screwed in every way and it was hard to even think about the tour ending and he and Adam going their separate ways.
One thing he was sure of - he wanted to go out with a bang. There had been repeated pictures in the tabloids of him and Adam performing in the tour together, hugging each other, looking into one another’s eyes with great affection. Adam had even forgotten at the end of one performance and affectionately kissed him on the top of the head. The Kradam fans were going wild and Kris thought it would be fun to give a little “shout out” to them at their final tour concert, give them some “man-love” photo ops. His idea was for them to do a duet on “To make you feel my love,” and dedicate it to each other and all the other Idols.
Adam was starting to come around to the idea. “It just might work - give the fans something they want, make us look like we’re good sports about the whole thing.” And they were both surprised to get it cleared with the powers that be and get to start rehearsing in their spare moments. It didn’t take long for Adam to express some hesitation when they got into the song and he really got all the words. “Are you sure,” he kept asking. “I don’t know if I can sing this with you without my feelings showing. I mean, look at these words!”
“The song is what I feel,” Kris said. “I want to do it. We’ll try to keep the brotherly love thing going. People will eat it up, and we’ll call all the others down with us for the last verse because we do all love each other. We’re all going to miss each other.”
Adam didn’t argue with his reasoning. They practiced till they perfectly reflected the words back to each other, taking turns on lines, singing some together. Pretty soon, they felt they had a show-stopping finale.
When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love.
When the evening shadows in the stars appear there is no one there to dry your tears
I could you hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love.
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet, but I will never do you wrong.
I’ve known it from the moment that we met, there’s no doubt in my mind where you belong.
I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue, I’d go crawling down the avenue
There ain’t nothing that I wouldn’t do, to make you feel my love.
The storms are raging on a rolling sea, down on the highway of regret,
The winds of changing are blowing wild and free, and you ain’t seen nothing like me yet.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true, no there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do,
go to the ends of the earth for you. To make you feel my love, to make you feel my love.
And while they were rehearsing for their last hurrah, they ignored the teasing comments of Matt and Megan, and the freaking-out comments by Danny, and often pulled Allison in on the lovefest with them as they sang to each other and determined that the whole bunch of them would enjoy going out on this note, whether they realized it yet or not.
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The final concert in Manchester NH was a packed house and the Idols did not disappoint. The Idol producers had even prepared a little surprise for the special number, putting together a video montage of “Kradam love” moments to play while they sang. The crowd went wild just like Kris said they would at closing out their run with this song. Kris especially enjoyed singing the opening lines: When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case I could offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love. And he noticed that Adam sung with special feeling the lines: The storms are raging on a rolling sea, down on the highway of regret, The winds of change are blowing wild and free, and you ain’t seen nothing like me yet.
By the time the other eight joined them on the closing lines, hugging one another and celebrating, it was pure magic. Even Danny was able to feel the love and not worry over it.
The press was all over them afterward, and they had to grant interview after interview. Kris was hating that because he had arranged a little surprise with the Idol powers for this final night on the road. His request was that, since he and Adam wouldn’t get to see much of each other anymore, they would love to just share a hotel room tonight, for old time’s sake. The woman in charge of arrangements raised a knowing eyebrow and asked, “One bed or two?” Kris just smiled and said “Two. We wouldn’t want people talking, now would we? Besides, two may come in handy.”
Once they finally dragged their tired bodies onto the tour bus Kris told Adam what he had done.
“You are freakin’ kidding me!” Adam exclaimed, both awe and pleasure showing in his face. But he couldn’t help teasing, “Did you ever think of asking me if I wanted to be roommates one more time?”
Kris put on his best arrogant smirk, the one Adam had been trying to teach him to act a little more like a star, and came back with “I don’t need to ask permission. I am your fucking American Idol.”
Adam’s eyes gleamed. “In more than one way, I hope.”
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Kris was surprised that Adam had to be persuaded when it came right down to it. As Adam put it, “Anal sex is so awesome, I don’t know if I want to get you turned on to it. I already told you I don’t want you turning gay. I want to be the only guy you love.”
“I promise - you will always be my only guy.” They were just lying in bed, nude, holding each other after an awesome session of oral sex. They’d only rested a bit but Kris was wanting Adam so bad that he was teasing him, caressing him, urging him on and it was not going to take long. Adam began to breathe hard again and he pulled Kris’s mouth to his, laying claim on his mouth once more, drinking in the taste of him, the smell of him. “You little tease,” was all he could say. “Let me grab the lubricant. Even then, it’s going to hurt a bit.”
“Hurt me,” Kris moaned. He couldn’t take this anymore, he’d wanted it so long. Adam put the lubricant on his fingers and lay Kris back on the bed, spreading his legs apart. “I want to do you this way,” he almost whispered. “From behind is good too, but I want to see your face.”
Adam inserted one finger, then two and opened Kris up. Kris tingled with anticipation, and gave a little gasp when Adam eased the head of his cock into his hole. It did hurt, but it hurt so good and was better and better as Adam moved easily above him, easing himself in a little at a time, so gentle, rubbing Kris’s cock as he moved inside him. Kris felt lifted outside himself, like he was watching this happen to someone else. It couldn’t be him, so intimately connected to this gorgeous, sexy man who could have anybody he wanted. It had to be a dream, but no dream ever rocked every inch of him, inside, outside, tingling, convulsing, breathe gone, dying of ecstasy, waves and waves of ecstasy….. then slowly, retreat of the tide, breathing again, ragged and strained, heart pounding like ocean breakers, waters calming and sight returning…and Adam, staring at him in wonder, telling him he was beautiful and he’d never experienced anything to compare with this. “You know,” Adam barely choked out, “We had a great finale at the show tonight but it was nothing compared to this finale.”
“This was the ultimate climax.” And they both laughed and collapsed into each other’s arms and left the worries of having to -temporarily - part ways for another time.
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Kris was sore - but good sore - in the morning. They’d caused such a mess in the first bed - Kris screwing Adam, Adam screwing Kris again, this time from behind - Kris was glad they had one clean bed to sleep in. They enjoyed a leisurely shower together in the morning, then talked about the things they each had coming up - finishing their albums, looking toward their own tours. Kris reiterated his promise to not “turn gay.” “You’re my only man love,” he said, holding tightly to Adam as the time for the airport limo grew close.
Adam cleared his throat and seemed to struggle for words. “I don’t want to ruin your marriage, you know that, but over the past year your life has changed. It will be tough, but try to make a go of it. Try not to think of me too much, but promise me, if you ever end up single again you will give me first shot.”
Kris nodded into Adam’s chest, clutching him and wishing he didn’t have to let go. “I promise. I feel like, sometime in the future, we’ll get a chance to top that finale.”
My first post, please give feedback.
Rating: NC-17
Tags: Adam, Kris, adult, explicit
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they are real people, they own themselves. These situations are all fiction.
Summary: Adam and Kris's relationship is changing, but it's hard to get a moment alone on tour...
Kris wasn’t sure where it changed - the light hearted, mildly flirtatious banter that had become a trademark of his friendship with Adam. The kind of stuff that had made the US magazine interview an internet sensation - when Adam had answered the question about “who is going to take the top bunk on the tour bus”, after a mischievous pause, with “I like the top” and Kris had pinched his lips together with a gleam in his eyes as if to say, “no, you did not just go there on camera” and then they had both cracked up…
It was certainly changing by a few days after Adam’s Rolling Stone interview, his big “coming out” party, when the nugget everybody - media, fans - had grabbed at was another tiny little revelation: that Adam had found his roommate “cute” and “distracting” but of course, “100% straight.” Kris had been very careful about responding when the hounds all came hunting him down for a comment. He was not surprised at Adam’s remarks - Adam had said as much, right to his face, early on in their friendship and Kris didn’t see any need to make a big deal about it. He had even said to Adam with a grin, “I guess, if I make it big on this show, I’ll be a heartthrob to men and women alike."
“Of course, I’ll still be the most awesome guy to feel that way about you,” Adam said matter-of-factly.
“No argument there,” was Kris’s comeback, and Kris looked to this conversation as the moment that Adam saw him as different than most of those people labeled as “evangelical Christians.” Before this, Adam had been holding back a bit, not being completely himself and relaxed with Kris. After this, they could chat about anything at all - Kris’s wife, Adam’s boyfriend, life in general.
So it was natural for Kris to call Adam up on the cell and ask him, “You’re so good with the media, and I’m so unsure of myself sometimes… How do I respond to them about you thinking I’m cute?” Kris could feel himself blushing even as he said it, but Adam just came back with “Be very short in your comments. Just say you’re flattered. Any more than that and you may get yourself into trouble.”
It was good advice - so simple! Why didn’t he think of it? Because of course he couldn’t say what he really wanted to say, which was that he was more than flattered - he was kind of hot about the whole thing and he’d known for a while that he was “crushing” on Adam as much as, if not more than, Adam was crushing on him.
But he hadn’t kept it to one word: flattered. He’d added another word: hilarious. The whole big deal was hilarious, how even a few simple words could get the press and the fans so worked up. But when it came out in print he was immediately worried. It sounded like he was laughing at Adam. He knew he had to talk to him, as soon as they saw each other the next day for the first studio recording work. He sent a simple text to Adam - “gotta talk, see you tomorrow” and all Adam responded was “k”. What was Adam thinking? Oh, how Kris hated this press thing. He didn’t like a friendship being filtered through entertainment and gossip rags.
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The next day, the Idol handlers arranged to pick them both up to go to the studio. That was the great thing about them being in the top two - there was so much they got to do together. Kris wondered how that had worked out for “top twos” who didn’t get along as well as they did. He had a hard time picturing Carrie Underwood and Bo Bice as best buds, but they had gotten this same treatment: together for nearly everything. Kris was so glad it was Adam he was paired with.
As soon as the handlers got distracted with something else, Kris blurted out “I didn’t mean you when I said hilarious…they never get anything to sound right.. I wouldn’t hurt you…”
Adam squeezed his knee to interrupt him. “Hey you, stop worrying. I have pretty thick skin. You forget about some of the stuff I’ve been through. I’ve taught myself to take things for their best possible meaning, not the worst. I figured you meant the whole media circus as the hilarious part, am I right?”
Kris sighed. “I’m glad we are SO on the same wavelength. Thank you. I feel so much better.” Then Kris lightly put his hand on Adam’s hand, still resting there on his knee.
Adam cleared his throat and glanced at the handlers, still talking with each other and paying no attention. “I would love for you to elaborate for me a little bit more than you could for the press. How did you really feel when I said that about you? I can take it if it bothered you a little. It’s okay.”
“Bothered? Yeah, you could say I was bothered.” Kris’s voice got husky as he took a deep breath and decided to plunge on in to the topic. “Hot and bothered, that is.”
Adam’s smile lit up the limo. “Well, you couldn’t tell the press that, could you now?” Their laughs filled the car and the handlers suddenly seemed to get interested in what they were talking about. Adam whispered, “Later.”
They finally had a few moments during a break to renew the conversation, and Kris approached the subject. “There is one thing that bothered me for real about what you said in Rolling Stone.”
Adam looked concerned. “Tell me. You know we don’t keep things from each other.”
“It was that whole ‘100% straight’ line about me. I don’t think most people are ‘100%’ anything, including gay or straight, really. That’s kind of a lame label. And have you ever asked me if I think of myself as 100% straight?”
Adam’s smile was hard to read. Maybe it was hope dawning. “I just assumed, seeing as you are married to a beautiful woman and all…”
“Well, there’s your problem,” Kris came back with a grin. “You should know better than to assume things about people.”
“So, for the sake of argument, if I had asked you back when we started getting to know each other what percentage of ‘straight’ you were on an imaginary ‘gay/straight continuum’ what would you have told me?”
Kris laughed. “Got me there. I probably would have said 100%, or maybe 99%.”
Adam’s raised an eyebrow mischievously. “And now? What would you say to the same question now?”
“Ummm, that’s harder to answer.” Kris took another deep breath and then took the plunge, all the way in to confession. “How would you label a guy who’s never been attracted to another guy before but keeps on thinking about kissing you? And thinking about more than kissing, and can’t get it out of his head?”
“Well, I guess that depends on if it’s merely curiosity, or if you really are falling for me, or if you really are getting attracted to guys in general.”
Kris got a little huffy. “I’m NOT getting attracted to guys in general… and I’m not just curious, either.”
“Good.” Adam got a little knowing smile. “I love you the way you are, I don’t want you changing. Your wife is adorable and you have a great life. You aren’t allowed to love men… except for me. We can keep that our little secret, at least try the best we can with cameras following us everywhere.”
“So?” Kris asked. “Your estimate of my ‘straight’ percentage?”
“Ninety percent straight. I revise my assumptions.”
Kris smiled, and looked all around. To his surprise, there weren’t any people or cameras around at the moment. He gazed into Adam’s eyes with longing, parted his lips ever so slightly, and leaned in to Adam. Adam had no trouble at all with signals and he leaned in, too. Their lips touched for the first time, ever so softly at first. Kris sighed into Adam’s soft mouth, and Adam gave a little groan and leaned in harder, flicking his tongue gently into Kris’s mouth as Kris engaged him with his own tongue. It was a fleeting moment; it was forever. Kris’s head was spinning as they pulled apart but kept their foreheads touching for a few burning seconds. “Wow” was the only word to come out of Kris’s mouth, and Adam pressed his lips down the side of Kris’s head and stopped at his ear with an exhale of breath and a bit of tongue and then whispered again, “later.”
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After the studio session, the limo arrived to take them both home: Adam was local so was staying in his own apartment until the idol tour started, and Kris was with his wife and family at a nearby hotel supplied by the show. Kris was pondering the upcoming schedule - some studio work, but mostly busy days getting ready to tour. Then there would be that tour bus he’d heard so much about - not much room, even less privacy, with occasional hotel nights when there was time between cities. Alone hotel nights - top tens weren’t required to have roommates.
He decided to speak up. “Hey, can you take Adam home first? I need to have a few minutes to stop in there, if you don’t mind.” The driver shrugged and said, “doesn’t matter to me,” and Adam avoided Kris’ eyes because he was afraid he’d reveal something and the handlers would catch on. But he knew Kris was setting up “later” the best he could under the circumstances.
When both men walked toward Adam’s apartment, Kris asked with concern whether Adam’s boyfriend would be there and was relieved when Adam replied in the negative. As soon as they stepped in and closed the door, Adam wasted no time, pinning Kris against the door, cradling his head with one hand and placing the other one on the small of Kris’s back. He pulled Kris up tight against him and began to trail hot kisses from Kris’s left ear to Kris’s neck, nibbling on the soft flesh. Kris moaned and said, “we don’t have long, please kiss me again. Nothing ever felt so good.”
Adam moaned and took this mouth, deep and urgent and the exploration was sweet. Kris wished it never had to stop, but the limo was waiting. “Umm, gotta go,” he finally croaked out. “Limo waiting, family waiting, you know….”
Adam nodded, pulling Kris in close. “We’re gonna have to be careful, take this slow. I don’t want to tear any families apart, you know that.” Kris did know that, but he also knew he wanted Adam, wanted him bad, and this was going to be one miserable tour if he didn’t figure out how to handle all this.
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What turned out to be most miserable was that they hardly had a few moments for conversation, let alone “getting to know each other better” over the days leading up to the tour. And on the bus, Adam was true to his word: preferring to be “on top,” he took the upper bunk with Kris just below him. So close. So far away. During the long boring travel times, they often sat together on the bottom bunk and talked, but not about anything earth shattering. Too many “idol” ears around. And when they did get a hotel for the night, it was often for just enough hours to sleep in a decent bed and head out again the next day. Rooms all close to each other, the ten chosen ones and their handlers. Impossible to be in Adam’s room, or Adam in his, for any lengthy period of time without drawing attention.
After a couple of weeks on tour with no more than a few brief kisses snatched at great danger, Kris’s was feeling so lonely for Adam that he again made the first move. They had often talked briefly before going to bed, just like old times, only these days it was over a cell phone from a room or two away. This time, Kris just sent one brief text: “Lonely. Phone sex?”
In the split second it took the words to fly two doors down, his phone was vibrating and Adam was laughing and breathless at the other end. “Imagine that! I was just thinking the same thing.” Kris could see Adam in his mind, laughing raucously, stretched out on the bed. He wasted no time. “Tell me what you’re wearing, Adam.”
There was a smile in Adam’s voice as he said, “I knew you weren’t just being nice all those times you showed interest in my wardrobe.”
“Well, are you still in those tight leather pants? Cause if so, get them off.”
“Oh, my dear, I am so going to get something off.”
Kris felt the heat spreading across his face and his belly. “I was already naked when I called you. Are you naked yet or do I have to come down the hall in my altogether and make you.”
“Hum…that does sound interesting,” Adam replied. “ But not very smart. No, I’m all skin for you, my love. What would you like me to do? Tell me.”
Kris tried to keep his composure but this was so hot. His own erection was already hard and dripping a little cum. “Grab onto that cock of yours and we are so going to come together. Just stroke for me, real gentle, and tell me how it feels.”
“It feels so great because I’m imagining you doing this for me, Kris. I really want you to do this for me.”
Kris swallowed hard and tried to conceal his groan. He didn’t want to come too quickly but this was the biggest turn on. “I really want to be doing it for you, Adam. And I really, really want you to do it for me. Only with your mouth - I want your mouth on me, Adam.”
Adam’s voice was thick with emotion. “I would take it all for you. Nothing would make me happier.”
Even slowing down his strokes, Kris knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He hoped, if he ever got to be so close to Adam, he would have better staying power. “I’m about to come, Adam. Are you close?”
“I’m ready whenever you are, baby. I’m right on the edge and holding on.”
And Kris listened as Adam’s moans intensified and the waves swept over him, too. He held his phone tight in his free hand and listened to Adam breathe. He didn’t want to say a word or break the spell; he just wanted to think about lying in Adam’s arms while coming down from this tidal wave.
Finally Adam broke the silence. “Previews of good things to come. Good night, my love.”
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Phone lovin’ and stolen kisses and discrete body brushes and “brotherly” hugs got them by for the next several weeks of touring. Mostly Kris was thankful they got to work together every single day, to try some new songs and to improve on some old ones, and to make “eye love” whenever nobody was watching closely. Of course, there were enough reporters around that some of those meaningful looks got caught on digital for the world to see but there were so many of those kinds of pictures floating around from their “love you like a brother” days that nobody thought too much of it. Except for maybe those rabid “Kradam” fans, the ones Kris had recently discovered who latched on to the two of them from about the top 9 or 10 during the show and who had voted for both of them, repeatedly, every single week, determined to see the two of them together. For these fans, they were better together than apart. Kris was coming to the same conclusion.
Adam had even taken the chance, as discretely as possible during a rehearsal break, to find some very special fan sites online that Kris was clueless about and introduce him to “Kradam Fanfic,” crazed fan fiction of fantasies about the two of them. They were rated everything from PG to NC-17, but Adam clicked through till he found an NC-17 story for Kris to read. “You found that fast,” Kris said. “You’ve been here before.”
“Maybe.” Adam grinned. “See what you think. There are some pretty talented writers out there, completely dedicated to us screwing each other.”
“Man, I’m already screwed.” It came out of Kris’s mouth without even thinking, and a little louder than he intended, and both men tried not to laugh too loud or draw too much attention to themselves.
Kris read while Adam watched him with pleasure. Kris tried to keep all expression from his face as he read the erotica, he and Adam as main characters. It was a weird, out-of-body sort of experience, and he found himself carried along by it, trying not to become aroused but impossible not to. When it came to the story finale - more properly, climax - Kris couldn’t help but blurt out (more quietly this time) “Thanks a lot, Adam. Now I’m not going to be able to move or get up from this chair unless there’s a cold shower nearby.”
“I am way better than a cold shower,” Adam said with glee. “I found a nice little nook in this building, a costume area, that nobody locks. We’ve got 15 minutes till break is over.”
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It took Adam no time at all to prove he was better than a cold shower. He had Kris pinned against the back of the door and his jeans off him in record time, and was kissing and teasing at Kris’s hot belly and grabbing his ass and tugging down his briefs seemingly all at once. Kris was out of his head with desire, and when Adam took possession of his cock with his mouth Kris tried to hold on. He couldn’t come this fast! But it felt so good as Adam worked the outside of his dick with his tongue, running it up and down the underside and then pausing to lick the head before taking him inside his mouth. He started sucking on a few inches of Kris’s hardened length, and then took more and more of him until he had it all and Kris was coming and he never even thought to warn Adam but Adam obviously didn’t care. He just took long swallows of Kris’s cum and used his own shirt to wipe some off his mouth. “I get to take some of Kris with me - how great is that?”
Kris was still trembling as he pushed Adam to the floor and tugged at his zipper and eased his pants down off his hips. He’d loved the blow job he just received more than the first time he’d had sex or any experience since then. But still, he had received a blow job before. He sure hadn’t given one and he felt his cock already start to twitch with feelings even though he had just been emptied. “Damn, you look too good,” Kris practically growled as he captured Adam’s mouth with his and rubbed his stomach back and forth across Adam’s hardness. “Oh, baby,” Adam purred. “You’d better do me fast, our break’s about over and somebody’s liable to come looking for us.”
Kris wanted to take his time but he knew Adam was right so he got to work, a little awkwardly at first but catching on fast. “Oh, yeah, Oh baby, Kris you are so beautiful,” Adam began to moan the words out as Kris worked his cock like an expert. Adam did remember to warn Kris when the explosion was coming, but Kris figured he’d handle the flow when it erupted. He didn’t want to miss any part of this most amazing man. He couldn’t swallow as expertly as Adam, of course, but he was pleased he didn’t gag and it didn’t taste unpleasant at all. He also used his shirt to wipe the cum off his mouth and chin and pulled himself across the taller man’s frame to lay with his full weight on top of him, eagerly claiming Adam’s mouth for his own, moving gently against his body and wanting it to last forever. The moment was too short … they heard people moving around the building, apparently looking for them. Kris knew they would be so busted if anybody even caught them both coming out of that storage room together. “You are so freakin’ dangerous,” Kris said as they dressed hurriedly. Adam looked at Kris from the corner of his eye. “You started it.” And Kris’s only comeback was the truth he felt deep down inside: “And I don’t regret it.”
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Before they knew it, the tour was nearly at an end. Kris was hatching an idea that Adam thought might be too risky. Kris couldn’t believe that Adam was afraid of risk, but he knew it was because Adam cared about him and was terrified of ruining his life. All Kris knew was he was ruined already, completely and utterly screwed in every way and it was hard to even think about the tour ending and he and Adam going their separate ways.
One thing he was sure of - he wanted to go out with a bang. There had been repeated pictures in the tabloids of him and Adam performing in the tour together, hugging each other, looking into one another’s eyes with great affection. Adam had even forgotten at the end of one performance and affectionately kissed him on the top of the head. The Kradam fans were going wild and Kris thought it would be fun to give a little “shout out” to them at their final tour concert, give them some “man-love” photo ops. His idea was for them to do a duet on “To make you feel my love,” and dedicate it to each other and all the other Idols.
Adam was starting to come around to the idea. “It just might work - give the fans something they want, make us look like we’re good sports about the whole thing.” And they were both surprised to get it cleared with the powers that be and get to start rehearsing in their spare moments. It didn’t take long for Adam to express some hesitation when they got into the song and he really got all the words. “Are you sure,” he kept asking. “I don’t know if I can sing this with you without my feelings showing. I mean, look at these words!”
“The song is what I feel,” Kris said. “I want to do it. We’ll try to keep the brotherly love thing going. People will eat it up, and we’ll call all the others down with us for the last verse because we do all love each other. We’re all going to miss each other.”
Adam didn’t argue with his reasoning. They practiced till they perfectly reflected the words back to each other, taking turns on lines, singing some together. Pretty soon, they felt they had a show-stopping finale.
When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love.
When the evening shadows in the stars appear there is no one there to dry your tears
I could you hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love.
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet, but I will never do you wrong.
I’ve known it from the moment that we met, there’s no doubt in my mind where you belong.
I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue, I’d go crawling down the avenue
There ain’t nothing that I wouldn’t do, to make you feel my love.
The storms are raging on a rolling sea, down on the highway of regret,
The winds of changing are blowing wild and free, and you ain’t seen nothing like me yet.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true, no there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do,
go to the ends of the earth for you. To make you feel my love, to make you feel my love.
And while they were rehearsing for their last hurrah, they ignored the teasing comments of Matt and Megan, and the freaking-out comments by Danny, and often pulled Allison in on the lovefest with them as they sang to each other and determined that the whole bunch of them would enjoy going out on this note, whether they realized it yet or not.
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The final concert in Manchester NH was a packed house and the Idols did not disappoint. The Idol producers had even prepared a little surprise for the special number, putting together a video montage of “Kradam love” moments to play while they sang. The crowd went wild just like Kris said they would at closing out their run with this song. Kris especially enjoyed singing the opening lines: When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case I could offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love. And he noticed that Adam sung with special feeling the lines: The storms are raging on a rolling sea, down on the highway of regret, The winds of change are blowing wild and free, and you ain’t seen nothing like me yet.
By the time the other eight joined them on the closing lines, hugging one another and celebrating, it was pure magic. Even Danny was able to feel the love and not worry over it.
The press was all over them afterward, and they had to grant interview after interview. Kris was hating that because he had arranged a little surprise with the Idol powers for this final night on the road. His request was that, since he and Adam wouldn’t get to see much of each other anymore, they would love to just share a hotel room tonight, for old time’s sake. The woman in charge of arrangements raised a knowing eyebrow and asked, “One bed or two?” Kris just smiled and said “Two. We wouldn’t want people talking, now would we? Besides, two may come in handy.”
Once they finally dragged their tired bodies onto the tour bus Kris told Adam what he had done.
“You are freakin’ kidding me!” Adam exclaimed, both awe and pleasure showing in his face. But he couldn’t help teasing, “Did you ever think of asking me if I wanted to be roommates one more time?”
Kris put on his best arrogant smirk, the one Adam had been trying to teach him to act a little more like a star, and came back with “I don’t need to ask permission. I am your fucking American Idol.”
Adam’s eyes gleamed. “In more than one way, I hope.”
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Kris was surprised that Adam had to be persuaded when it came right down to it. As Adam put it, “Anal sex is so awesome, I don’t know if I want to get you turned on to it. I already told you I don’t want you turning gay. I want to be the only guy you love.”
“I promise - you will always be my only guy.” They were just lying in bed, nude, holding each other after an awesome session of oral sex. They’d only rested a bit but Kris was wanting Adam so bad that he was teasing him, caressing him, urging him on and it was not going to take long. Adam began to breathe hard again and he pulled Kris’s mouth to his, laying claim on his mouth once more, drinking in the taste of him, the smell of him. “You little tease,” was all he could say. “Let me grab the lubricant. Even then, it’s going to hurt a bit.”
“Hurt me,” Kris moaned. He couldn’t take this anymore, he’d wanted it so long. Adam put the lubricant on his fingers and lay Kris back on the bed, spreading his legs apart. “I want to do you this way,” he almost whispered. “From behind is good too, but I want to see your face.”
Adam inserted one finger, then two and opened Kris up. Kris tingled with anticipation, and gave a little gasp when Adam eased the head of his cock into his hole. It did hurt, but it hurt so good and was better and better as Adam moved easily above him, easing himself in a little at a time, so gentle, rubbing Kris’s cock as he moved inside him. Kris felt lifted outside himself, like he was watching this happen to someone else. It couldn’t be him, so intimately connected to this gorgeous, sexy man who could have anybody he wanted. It had to be a dream, but no dream ever rocked every inch of him, inside, outside, tingling, convulsing, breathe gone, dying of ecstasy, waves and waves of ecstasy….. then slowly, retreat of the tide, breathing again, ragged and strained, heart pounding like ocean breakers, waters calming and sight returning…and Adam, staring at him in wonder, telling him he was beautiful and he’d never experienced anything to compare with this. “You know,” Adam barely choked out, “We had a great finale at the show tonight but it was nothing compared to this finale.”
“This was the ultimate climax.” And they both laughed and collapsed into each other’s arms and left the worries of having to -temporarily - part ways for another time.
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Kris was sore - but good sore - in the morning. They’d caused such a mess in the first bed - Kris screwing Adam, Adam screwing Kris again, this time from behind - Kris was glad they had one clean bed to sleep in. They enjoyed a leisurely shower together in the morning, then talked about the things they each had coming up - finishing their albums, looking toward their own tours. Kris reiterated his promise to not “turn gay.” “You’re my only man love,” he said, holding tightly to Adam as the time for the airport limo grew close.
Adam cleared his throat and seemed to struggle for words. “I don’t want to ruin your marriage, you know that, but over the past year your life has changed. It will be tough, but try to make a go of it. Try not to think of me too much, but promise me, if you ever end up single again you will give me first shot.”
Kris nodded into Adam’s chest, clutching him and wishing he didn’t have to let go. “I promise. I feel like, sometime in the future, we’ll get a chance to top that finale.”