Don't Fight What's Right (Part 7/8)
Title: Don't Fight What's Right.
Pairing: Kradam.
Rating: R, yeah. That's right.
Word Count: 3,511
Beta: gargoyles42
Disclaimer: Adam and Kris belong to themselves. And each other. I made no profit off of this. Purely for entertainment purposes.
Summary: Completely AU. Adam is an eighteen year old High School Senior and is the school outcast. Two months ago, Kris came to the school, but refuses to talk to anyone.
Notes: It's a long awaited chapter, I'm sure! Anyway, THIS IS IN KRIS' POV. So don't get confused. A lot longer then previous chapters, too. Oh, and I fail at coding. So let me know if it's screwed up somewhere, kay?
Something's come over me. Why? Why am I letting myself become so... So attached to someone! Is there something inside of me saying that this time will be different? That this time I won't end up broken? No! I learned the hard way to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. Yet I stumble upon this beautiful creature and suddenly I feel like everything is going to be alright. That the world isn't as evil as it had once been.
Even though I know the price for what I am doing, I'm was sitting at the back of the school, pressed tightly to Adam Lambert's side as we listened to his iPod. Half of what we were listening to was new to me, considering the fact that we have two different tastes in music.
"You okay?" Adam's voice pulled me from my inner complications. I shook my head slightly, leaning my head onto his shoulder and felt him freeze. Obviously this is all new to him too.
I let out a deep breath. "Yeah, I... I'm fine, I guess," I stuttered out the words. Adam seemed to notice as he brought his arm around my shoulders and I melted. Fuck! I shouldn't let these feelings in. Adam Lambert may look perfect, but he's probably just like... like. Shit, I can't even think his name.
"You can tell me, you know," Adam whispered into my hair and I let out a stuttered breath. No, I can't. I can't tell you anything about me. I can't tell you my feelings for you, I can't tell you why I'm such a closed off freak, and I can't tell you that I'm broken.
"There's nothing to tell," I whispered out just as the bell rang and I pulled the ear bud out of my ear. Adam was looking at me intently when I brought my gaze to meet his piercing blue eyes. I froze and he simply smiled at me. I returned one to the best of my ability.
He touched my face again, and without much warning, I pushed into the warmth. "See you later, alright?" Adam's velvet voice laced the air and I breathed out a sigh of contentment, letting my own hand push into his hand that was still caressing my face.
As much as I wanted to say no, I agreed. "Okay," I managed.
I could have sworn I let out a desperate groan when he pulled his hand out from under mine and stood to go to class. What the hell is wrong with me?
---
I fumbled with my keys while standing in the parking lot. I was trying to get out of the lot before Adam spotted me, but my hands weren't working with me. No, they were turning against me. I dropped them for about the seventh time and heard someone clear their throat behind me. I turned and it wasn't who I thought it would be.
Danny Gokey was standing there; all by himself, at that.
My eyes grew huge and I froze, meeting the eyes of the football captain. "Having a hard time, are we?" Danny was laughing at me. Why the fuck is he laughing at me? "You know, I'd be trying to hurry the hell out of here too, especially when the freak parked next to you seems to be interested in the new kid."
I gave him a confused look. I was more then aware that Adam liked me. Liked me as more then a friend, but I don't know how I can deal with that; especially since I like him back. "Oh please, Kris. The dude wants your cock!" Danny was almost doubled over now and my face was flushed. He noticed. "Oh, no, Kris! Don't tell me that you're gay too?" His voice was teasing and I didn't know where he was going with this. "That's why you've been around him so much..." He looked to be truly contemplating this.
I looked out of the corner of my eye to see Adam staring wide eyed at the two of us a couple feet away. Danny was still talking, but I was so confused and pissed at Danny that I wasn't hearing any of it. I glared at Danny. "Leave me alone," I managed out of my closed throat.
Danny looked surprised. "Oh, so you can speak?" Danny closed the distance between us and I felt myself step back and into my truck. "Tell me. Is Adam the one who got you to talk?" His eyes were predatory and I was more then a little scared. I've seen this look before. Not on Daniel Gokey, but on... on, fuck, my ex.
I breathed out a deep breath and leveled my gaze to his eyes. "Yes," I managed and Danny's hands were on my shoulders, shoving me back. "Get off!" I squeaked.
"Now listen, fag. If you know what's good for you, you'll leave that queer alone. You'll make friends with someone other then a horny gay boy." That’s when I punched him.
Adam gasped and I felt his hands grab me by the arms as Danny went to stand. "C'mon, Kris. Get your keys." I bent down quickly and grabbed my keys, but instead of getting into my own car, I slid into the passenger seat of Adam's mustang and begged him to drive.
He did, and before I knew it, we were pulling up to his house and I knew I was fucked.
---
He didn't get out right away, so we just sat there in silence for a few moments. My heartbeat was rising with each second. "Something's up, Kristopher." He's never once called me that. He must know. He has to know that I am so broken that I can't think straight! So broken, that I'm fucking afraid of him because I'm falling in love with him.
"I-I, uh, don't know what, um, what you're t-talking about, Adam," I choked out and it suddenly felt extremely small in the sports car. "Really I-" But I was cut off.
"Oh, fuck, Kris. Tell me what's wrong!" I cringed into my seat and brought my arms over my head. I looked out from a crack in my armor and saw Adam staring at me, hurt and confused and worried and a whole bunch of things. "I, oh, God. Kris. I didn't mean to..." And I saw how tentatively he reached out to me and I let him move my arms from my face and I felt the gentle touch I was given. "I had no idea..." He whispered to me. "But I should have! Oh, I should have. How could I be so stupid? No one closes off like that without a reason."
He was yelling at himself now, and I knew it, but it was still frightening to see him so angry. "Adam. Adam!" I choked out, "please stop." I breathed when he was finally looking at me and he sighed, sliding as close to me as he could and bringing his arms around me. The embrace felt... safe.
---
Adam had finally managed to get me out of the car and into his house, and I was really, really nervous. Not to mention frightened. Was he going to yell at me again? Or was he going to hit me? Oh God.
My fear dissipated when I was tackled by a child screaming things that I couldn't understand, but they seemed to be making Adam laugh out loud. "Chill, Neil! Let the guy go!" He was laughing even harder now that he was trying to pry the boy - Neil, apparently - off of my legs as I tumbled onto the couch, starting to laugh as well. "Seriously, little one. Let him go." Adam was being more serious, but he was still giggling some.
Finally I was released and I continued to laugh lightly as I held my hand out to the young boy. "Hi. I'm Kris," I managed through short fits of laughter and he took my hand with both of his and shook it roughly.
"I'm Neil! Nice to meet you, Krissy," he said before letting go of my hand and lunging at Adam. I watched breathlessly as the two interacted. Adam had stooped down to rap his arms around his brother, I assumed, and lifted him off the ground in an embrace. Adam shook Neil gently and kissed his head before setting him down to the floor and taking his hand.
"Where's Mom?" Neil pointed to the kitchen and Adam scoffed. "Predictable." I watched as Adam released the boys hand and looked to Kris on the couch. "Come on," Adam said to me and I knew I had a terrified look on my face. "Oh, she won't eat you." I laughed lightly, but stayed put on the couch. "Please?" I heard in a whisper and I sighed, standing. "Yay!" I heard Adam squeal and before I walked any further and gripped his hand.
I felt him give my fingers a reassuring squeeze before walking into the kitchen, jumping slightly as Adam's boots made contact with the tile. "Hey Adam, I-" She stopped talking when she lifted her head to look at the two of us and her eyes glanced to our joined hands. I blushed red, but refused to pull away from the contact. "Who's this?" She didn't seem angry. That's good.
Adam's face was alight, and that made my chest swell. How I wish to see that look on his face all the time. "This is Kris." I laughed nervously and brought my free hand to my neck when her jaw dropped and she rushed over to me.
"Adam! This is Kris? He's gorgeous!" And that only made me blush harder. "Are you two..." she trailed of suggestively and me and Adam exchanged glances, I gave him a warm smile and he returned it.
I looked back to his mother and nodded. "Yeah," I managed and then I was rapped in a pair of arms and the hug wasn't threatening, not at all. I released Adam's hand for a moment and brought my arms around her waist. "Nice to meet you...?" I didn't know her name.
"Oh dear, excuse me!" She pushed herself away from me and ran a gently hand along my face. "I'm Leila." We shook hands and she turned to her son. I saw the wink and I blushed again. She must approve. "Well!" I watched as she scurried back to the counter, "you boys hungry?" My hand found Adam's again, but this time I laced our fingers together.
Adam tugged me to the breakfast bar and we sat on the stools there, hands still connected. "Yes, ma'am!" Adam commanded the room, as always. "What did you make?" he said while trying to look around her.
I watched her body vibrate as she turned around with a bowl of macaroni salad. "Just this. It's hot out today." Isn't it hot out everyday here? "Dig in, boys," she said while placing bowls in front of us. Adam and I reluctantly released each others hands and scooped some salad into our bowls. Once we had full bowls, Adam's hand found my thigh, just above my knee, and he squeezed lightly.
"Looks good," I choked out before taking a small bite.
---
Once we had polished off two bowls each, Adam pulled us up the stairs toward his room. I was scared all over again. When we finally got into his room, he pushed the door toward the frame with his foot, but let it stay open about a foot and a half. This made me feel a little better.
When my eyes adjusted, I looked over the room and was amazing how utterly Adam it was. It fit him absolutely perfectly. Black sheets and covers on his bed with a lace looking canopy were the first to catch my eye, Adam noticed. "Yes, it's a bed, Kristopher." I blushed and he winked at me before turning to walk to the desk in the corner where he spun the chair around and straddled it, resting his arms and chin on the back. "So, tell me," he started, "why'd you tell my mom we're a thing?" Adam's playing with me, I can tell.
"Well, I... I hope that we could..." And then my voice was gone before I could finish as Adam was staring at me so intently with those eyes.
"We can be," he said smoothly and I wanted to know where he got the confidence.
Without noticing it, I covered the distance between us and Adam had leaned back in the chair, staring up at me with his back against the desk and my hands were placed on the back of the chair now. "Wonderful," I whispered before leaning in and connecting our lips in a soft but demanding kiss.
And then Adam's hands wandered too far and I jumped away, out of habit. His eyes showed everything. He was hurt and confused, and I was lost and dazed, not sure how to process everything.
"Kris, what's wrong?" I listened to his words and saw that he was indeed curious to find out. I fell to my knees and started crying. "Kris, oh my God! What's wrong?" Adam rushed out of the chair quickly and fell in front of me, letting his arms rap around me, and I collapsed into his embrace, remembering everything from the fateful night that broke me.
---
I was supposed to have a nice night with Lukas, my ex. I showed up at his house on time, just like I was asked to, and knocked on the front door. I was almost fifteen at the time and Luke was just over seventeen years old. He was older than me, by a lot, but he said he loved me. I believed him, and that turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.
When I walked into the house after being greeted by Lukas, his parents took one look at me and the way Lukas and I embraced. They obviously had no idea that their son was dating another boy.
In a moments flash, Lukas was being dragged away from me by his father and I was being a yelled at by his mother about how he's committing sin and how I’m helping in it by dragging their son along with me. She pushed me to the couch, slapped me once and I watched as Lukas was dragged down the hallway to some room. I was scared.
I was beaten around some more by my boyfriend’s mother for the next fifteen minutes or so and then I heard the click of a door knob turning. I look up to see Lukas, no harm done to his pretty face, and I sighed out of relief. Glad to see that my love was alright.
He made his way over to me, his body tense and his eyes solid, and I knew the inevitable was coming. Lukas scowled down at me and I cowered into the couch. "I lied," he muttered under his breath and he looked severely angry with me. When I finally got the courage to ask what he meant, his hand clasped around my throat and I choked. "I don't love you." His voice was grave and dangerous and I managed to shake my head in agreement. "Go." His teeth were clenched and I was more then scared. I was down right terrified.
He released me from his death grip and I stood from the couch quickly. I got an evil look from both his parents and him and I knew that everything we had been through was a lie. We were a lie. Before I could let the tears spill over my cheeks I ran from the house and down the street toward my own home.
Once behind the closed door to my house, I banged my head against the wood and cursed at myself loudly. My mother came around the corner as I slid with my back to the door and hit the ground with a muted thud. She rushed to me as I pulled my knees to my stomach and cried into her shoulder, my father looking on from a short distance, unsure of how to comfort his crying son.
---
I told this story to Adam through sobs and gasps, his hand rubbing my back and holding me closely as I shook and muttered my past. "Baby, baby. Oh God, It's all right." He rocked me in his arms until I heard his bedroom door creak open all the way and the soft whisper of Leila, asking if I was alright. I felt Adam shake his head in a no manner and Leila walked out, closing the door completely this time.
I gained enough composure to lift my head off Adam's shoulder and try to push myself away from him. "Where do you think you're going?" I heard him speak into the room.
I shivered and whimpered once as I leaned against his bed. "I, um… I should go." I murmured into the air, not looking at the man on the floor.
"You should stay," I heard him whisper and I fell to the bed then. Adam stood from the floor and twisted me around until I was sitting on the edge of the bed and he was kneeling in front of me. "Kris, I need you to listen to me." I stared at him for a moment, but nodded. "I would never, ever do something like that to you." His breath was soft on my face and I relaxed slightly. "I wouldn't even think about doing anything close to that to you." I brought my hands to my face and sobbed slightly.
Adam pulled my hands away and I looked at him, frightened. "There's more," I chocked out before spilling the rest of my insane story to him.
---
I locked myself in my room for a few days. When I finally came out it was because my parents were forcing me to go to school. I had missed several days already and I couldn't miss anymore. I didn't want to go, knowing that Lukas would be there and I would be a nervous wreck, afraid of being hit or grabbed at again.
When I got off the bus at the school, Lukas was there. Waiting, watching. He looked very predatory and I knew he was waiting for me. "Long time no see, babe." And he tried to kiss me. I pushed him away and he growled. "What are you doing?" He snapped at me and I took a step back.
My mouth dropped. "What am I doing? What the fuck are you doing, Luke?!" I tried to push past him but instead he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me into the building and walked hastily past each and every door before suddenly turning into one.
The bathroom.
He threw me into a stall and I knew, I just knew, that this was not going to end well. "You're so fucking hot." I heard him purr as he pulled off my clothes, each piece falling to the floor and all I could do was stand there, mortified at what Lukas was doing. The man I loved was forcing me into something we both knew I wasn't ready for.
But then he raped me.
It hurt, a lot. I felt the pain coursing through my lower stomach and into my toes and fingers and up to the hair on the top of my head. But slowly, it turned into pleasure and I found myself moaning along with the man forcing his cock into my ass. He reached around and petted my dick softly and I groaned out again.
He didn't kiss me, but he sure as fuck made sure to mark me. When we both came, it was in sync. My fluids leaked from the stall's wall and onto the floor while his rested inside me. A reminder as to what he had done.
---
"That's why you're so afraid..." Adam murmured to me as I finished off what was my terrifying ordeal. "Have you seen this guy since then?" I shook my head vigorously and he nodded once and brought his hand to my face. "Kris, you're going to be fine." And I could already feel my heart mending.
"I moved away from there two months ago. After I ditched High School all together," my voice was soft and almost inaudible, "and then I met you and... Oh God. I thought, I thought that maybe you could fix what he broke... That maybe you could put me together again. Because, fuck! You're perfect, Adam." I meant every word.
And then Adam was kissing me ever so gently, as to not scare me I suppose, and he kept his hands on each side of my waist and he let mine explore. For once, something felt right. I felt like I was supposed to do this. I pulled away long enough to whisper to Adam, "You can touch me."
And he did; his hands sliding onto my waist and lightly touching the skin underneath my shirt. It was all tentative, but oh so right. "Are you okay?" I heard him whisper to me as I kissed his neck and I sat back, carefully looking over his face.
"No, not really," I admitted, "but I know I will be."
Pairing: Kradam.
Rating: R, yeah. That's right.
Word Count: 3,511
Beta: gargoyles42
Disclaimer: Adam and Kris belong to themselves. And each other. I made no profit off of this. Purely for entertainment purposes.
Summary: Completely AU. Adam is an eighteen year old High School Senior and is the school outcast. Two months ago, Kris came to the school, but refuses to talk to anyone.
Notes: It's a long awaited chapter, I'm sure! Anyway, THIS IS IN KRIS' POV. So don't get confused. A lot longer then previous chapters, too. Oh, and I fail at coding. So let me know if it's screwed up somewhere, kay?
Something's come over me. Why? Why am I letting myself become so... So attached to someone! Is there something inside of me saying that this time will be different? That this time I won't end up broken? No! I learned the hard way to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. Yet I stumble upon this beautiful creature and suddenly I feel like everything is going to be alright. That the world isn't as evil as it had once been.
Even though I know the price for what I am doing, I'm was sitting at the back of the school, pressed tightly to Adam Lambert's side as we listened to his iPod. Half of what we were listening to was new to me, considering the fact that we have two different tastes in music.
"You okay?" Adam's voice pulled me from my inner complications. I shook my head slightly, leaning my head onto his shoulder and felt him freeze. Obviously this is all new to him too.
I let out a deep breath. "Yeah, I... I'm fine, I guess," I stuttered out the words. Adam seemed to notice as he brought his arm around my shoulders and I melted. Fuck! I shouldn't let these feelings in. Adam Lambert may look perfect, but he's probably just like... like. Shit, I can't even think his name.
"You can tell me, you know," Adam whispered into my hair and I let out a stuttered breath. No, I can't. I can't tell you anything about me. I can't tell you my feelings for you, I can't tell you why I'm such a closed off freak, and I can't tell you that I'm broken.
"There's nothing to tell," I whispered out just as the bell rang and I pulled the ear bud out of my ear. Adam was looking at me intently when I brought my gaze to meet his piercing blue eyes. I froze and he simply smiled at me. I returned one to the best of my ability.
He touched my face again, and without much warning, I pushed into the warmth. "See you later, alright?" Adam's velvet voice laced the air and I breathed out a sigh of contentment, letting my own hand push into his hand that was still caressing my face.
As much as I wanted to say no, I agreed. "Okay," I managed.
I could have sworn I let out a desperate groan when he pulled his hand out from under mine and stood to go to class. What the hell is wrong with me?
---
I fumbled with my keys while standing in the parking lot. I was trying to get out of the lot before Adam spotted me, but my hands weren't working with me. No, they were turning against me. I dropped them for about the seventh time and heard someone clear their throat behind me. I turned and it wasn't who I thought it would be.
Danny Gokey was standing there; all by himself, at that.
My eyes grew huge and I froze, meeting the eyes of the football captain. "Having a hard time, are we?" Danny was laughing at me. Why the fuck is he laughing at me? "You know, I'd be trying to hurry the hell out of here too, especially when the freak parked next to you seems to be interested in the new kid."
I gave him a confused look. I was more then aware that Adam liked me. Liked me as more then a friend, but I don't know how I can deal with that; especially since I like him back. "Oh please, Kris. The dude wants your cock!" Danny was almost doubled over now and my face was flushed. He noticed. "Oh, no, Kris! Don't tell me that you're gay too?" His voice was teasing and I didn't know where he was going with this. "That's why you've been around him so much..." He looked to be truly contemplating this.
I looked out of the corner of my eye to see Adam staring wide eyed at the two of us a couple feet away. Danny was still talking, but I was so confused and pissed at Danny that I wasn't hearing any of it. I glared at Danny. "Leave me alone," I managed out of my closed throat.
Danny looked surprised. "Oh, so you can speak?" Danny closed the distance between us and I felt myself step back and into my truck. "Tell me. Is Adam the one who got you to talk?" His eyes were predatory and I was more then a little scared. I've seen this look before. Not on Daniel Gokey, but on... on, fuck, my ex.
I breathed out a deep breath and leveled my gaze to his eyes. "Yes," I managed and Danny's hands were on my shoulders, shoving me back. "Get off!" I squeaked.
"Now listen, fag. If you know what's good for you, you'll leave that queer alone. You'll make friends with someone other then a horny gay boy." That’s when I punched him.
Adam gasped and I felt his hands grab me by the arms as Danny went to stand. "C'mon, Kris. Get your keys." I bent down quickly and grabbed my keys, but instead of getting into my own car, I slid into the passenger seat of Adam's mustang and begged him to drive.
He did, and before I knew it, we were pulling up to his house and I knew I was fucked.
---
He didn't get out right away, so we just sat there in silence for a few moments. My heartbeat was rising with each second. "Something's up, Kristopher." He's never once called me that. He must know. He has to know that I am so broken that I can't think straight! So broken, that I'm fucking afraid of him because I'm falling in love with him.
"I-I, uh, don't know what, um, what you're t-talking about, Adam," I choked out and it suddenly felt extremely small in the sports car. "Really I-" But I was cut off.
"Oh, fuck, Kris. Tell me what's wrong!" I cringed into my seat and brought my arms over my head. I looked out from a crack in my armor and saw Adam staring at me, hurt and confused and worried and a whole bunch of things. "I, oh, God. Kris. I didn't mean to..." And I saw how tentatively he reached out to me and I let him move my arms from my face and I felt the gentle touch I was given. "I had no idea..." He whispered to me. "But I should have! Oh, I should have. How could I be so stupid? No one closes off like that without a reason."
He was yelling at himself now, and I knew it, but it was still frightening to see him so angry. "Adam. Adam!" I choked out, "please stop." I breathed when he was finally looking at me and he sighed, sliding as close to me as he could and bringing his arms around me. The embrace felt... safe.
---
Adam had finally managed to get me out of the car and into his house, and I was really, really nervous. Not to mention frightened. Was he going to yell at me again? Or was he going to hit me? Oh God.
My fear dissipated when I was tackled by a child screaming things that I couldn't understand, but they seemed to be making Adam laugh out loud. "Chill, Neil! Let the guy go!" He was laughing even harder now that he was trying to pry the boy - Neil, apparently - off of my legs as I tumbled onto the couch, starting to laugh as well. "Seriously, little one. Let him go." Adam was being more serious, but he was still giggling some.
Finally I was released and I continued to laugh lightly as I held my hand out to the young boy. "Hi. I'm Kris," I managed through short fits of laughter and he took my hand with both of his and shook it roughly.
"I'm Neil! Nice to meet you, Krissy," he said before letting go of my hand and lunging at Adam. I watched breathlessly as the two interacted. Adam had stooped down to rap his arms around his brother, I assumed, and lifted him off the ground in an embrace. Adam shook Neil gently and kissed his head before setting him down to the floor and taking his hand.
"Where's Mom?" Neil pointed to the kitchen and Adam scoffed. "Predictable." I watched as Adam released the boys hand and looked to Kris on the couch. "Come on," Adam said to me and I knew I had a terrified look on my face. "Oh, she won't eat you." I laughed lightly, but stayed put on the couch. "Please?" I heard in a whisper and I sighed, standing. "Yay!" I heard Adam squeal and before I walked any further and gripped his hand.
I felt him give my fingers a reassuring squeeze before walking into the kitchen, jumping slightly as Adam's boots made contact with the tile. "Hey Adam, I-" She stopped talking when she lifted her head to look at the two of us and her eyes glanced to our joined hands. I blushed red, but refused to pull away from the contact. "Who's this?" She didn't seem angry. That's good.
Adam's face was alight, and that made my chest swell. How I wish to see that look on his face all the time. "This is Kris." I laughed nervously and brought my free hand to my neck when her jaw dropped and she rushed over to me.
"Adam! This is Kris? He's gorgeous!" And that only made me blush harder. "Are you two..." she trailed of suggestively and me and Adam exchanged glances, I gave him a warm smile and he returned it.
I looked back to his mother and nodded. "Yeah," I managed and then I was rapped in a pair of arms and the hug wasn't threatening, not at all. I released Adam's hand for a moment and brought my arms around her waist. "Nice to meet you...?" I didn't know her name.
"Oh dear, excuse me!" She pushed herself away from me and ran a gently hand along my face. "I'm Leila." We shook hands and she turned to her son. I saw the wink and I blushed again. She must approve. "Well!" I watched as she scurried back to the counter, "you boys hungry?" My hand found Adam's again, but this time I laced our fingers together.
Adam tugged me to the breakfast bar and we sat on the stools there, hands still connected. "Yes, ma'am!" Adam commanded the room, as always. "What did you make?" he said while trying to look around her.
I watched her body vibrate as she turned around with a bowl of macaroni salad. "Just this. It's hot out today." Isn't it hot out everyday here? "Dig in, boys," she said while placing bowls in front of us. Adam and I reluctantly released each others hands and scooped some salad into our bowls. Once we had full bowls, Adam's hand found my thigh, just above my knee, and he squeezed lightly.
"Looks good," I choked out before taking a small bite.
---
Once we had polished off two bowls each, Adam pulled us up the stairs toward his room. I was scared all over again. When we finally got into his room, he pushed the door toward the frame with his foot, but let it stay open about a foot and a half. This made me feel a little better.
When my eyes adjusted, I looked over the room and was amazing how utterly Adam it was. It fit him absolutely perfectly. Black sheets and covers on his bed with a lace looking canopy were the first to catch my eye, Adam noticed. "Yes, it's a bed, Kristopher." I blushed and he winked at me before turning to walk to the desk in the corner where he spun the chair around and straddled it, resting his arms and chin on the back. "So, tell me," he started, "why'd you tell my mom we're a thing?" Adam's playing with me, I can tell.
"Well, I... I hope that we could..." And then my voice was gone before I could finish as Adam was staring at me so intently with those eyes.
"We can be," he said smoothly and I wanted to know where he got the confidence.
Without noticing it, I covered the distance between us and Adam had leaned back in the chair, staring up at me with his back against the desk and my hands were placed on the back of the chair now. "Wonderful," I whispered before leaning in and connecting our lips in a soft but demanding kiss.
And then Adam's hands wandered too far and I jumped away, out of habit. His eyes showed everything. He was hurt and confused, and I was lost and dazed, not sure how to process everything.
"Kris, what's wrong?" I listened to his words and saw that he was indeed curious to find out. I fell to my knees and started crying. "Kris, oh my God! What's wrong?" Adam rushed out of the chair quickly and fell in front of me, letting his arms rap around me, and I collapsed into his embrace, remembering everything from the fateful night that broke me.
---
I was supposed to have a nice night with Lukas, my ex. I showed up at his house on time, just like I was asked to, and knocked on the front door. I was almost fifteen at the time and Luke was just over seventeen years old. He was older than me, by a lot, but he said he loved me. I believed him, and that turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.
When I walked into the house after being greeted by Lukas, his parents took one look at me and the way Lukas and I embraced. They obviously had no idea that their son was dating another boy.
In a moments flash, Lukas was being dragged away from me by his father and I was being a yelled at by his mother about how he's committing sin and how I’m helping in it by dragging their son along with me. She pushed me to the couch, slapped me once and I watched as Lukas was dragged down the hallway to some room. I was scared.
I was beaten around some more by my boyfriend’s mother for the next fifteen minutes or so and then I heard the click of a door knob turning. I look up to see Lukas, no harm done to his pretty face, and I sighed out of relief. Glad to see that my love was alright.
He made his way over to me, his body tense and his eyes solid, and I knew the inevitable was coming. Lukas scowled down at me and I cowered into the couch. "I lied," he muttered under his breath and he looked severely angry with me. When I finally got the courage to ask what he meant, his hand clasped around my throat and I choked. "I don't love you." His voice was grave and dangerous and I managed to shake my head in agreement. "Go." His teeth were clenched and I was more then scared. I was down right terrified.
He released me from his death grip and I stood from the couch quickly. I got an evil look from both his parents and him and I knew that everything we had been through was a lie. We were a lie. Before I could let the tears spill over my cheeks I ran from the house and down the street toward my own home.
Once behind the closed door to my house, I banged my head against the wood and cursed at myself loudly. My mother came around the corner as I slid with my back to the door and hit the ground with a muted thud. She rushed to me as I pulled my knees to my stomach and cried into her shoulder, my father looking on from a short distance, unsure of how to comfort his crying son.
---
I told this story to Adam through sobs and gasps, his hand rubbing my back and holding me closely as I shook and muttered my past. "Baby, baby. Oh God, It's all right." He rocked me in his arms until I heard his bedroom door creak open all the way and the soft whisper of Leila, asking if I was alright. I felt Adam shake his head in a no manner and Leila walked out, closing the door completely this time.
I gained enough composure to lift my head off Adam's shoulder and try to push myself away from him. "Where do you think you're going?" I heard him speak into the room.
I shivered and whimpered once as I leaned against his bed. "I, um… I should go." I murmured into the air, not looking at the man on the floor.
"You should stay," I heard him whisper and I fell to the bed then. Adam stood from the floor and twisted me around until I was sitting on the edge of the bed and he was kneeling in front of me. "Kris, I need you to listen to me." I stared at him for a moment, but nodded. "I would never, ever do something like that to you." His breath was soft on my face and I relaxed slightly. "I wouldn't even think about doing anything close to that to you." I brought my hands to my face and sobbed slightly.
Adam pulled my hands away and I looked at him, frightened. "There's more," I chocked out before spilling the rest of my insane story to him.
---
I locked myself in my room for a few days. When I finally came out it was because my parents were forcing me to go to school. I had missed several days already and I couldn't miss anymore. I didn't want to go, knowing that Lukas would be there and I would be a nervous wreck, afraid of being hit or grabbed at again.
When I got off the bus at the school, Lukas was there. Waiting, watching. He looked very predatory and I knew he was waiting for me. "Long time no see, babe." And he tried to kiss me. I pushed him away and he growled. "What are you doing?" He snapped at me and I took a step back.
My mouth dropped. "What am I doing? What the fuck are you doing, Luke?!" I tried to push past him but instead he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me into the building and walked hastily past each and every door before suddenly turning into one.
The bathroom.
He threw me into a stall and I knew, I just knew, that this was not going to end well. "You're so fucking hot." I heard him purr as he pulled off my clothes, each piece falling to the floor and all I could do was stand there, mortified at what Lukas was doing. The man I loved was forcing me into something we both knew I wasn't ready for.
But then he raped me.
It hurt, a lot. I felt the pain coursing through my lower stomach and into my toes and fingers and up to the hair on the top of my head. But slowly, it turned into pleasure and I found myself moaning along with the man forcing his cock into my ass. He reached around and petted my dick softly and I groaned out again.
He didn't kiss me, but he sure as fuck made sure to mark me. When we both came, it was in sync. My fluids leaked from the stall's wall and onto the floor while his rested inside me. A reminder as to what he had done.
---
"That's why you're so afraid..." Adam murmured to me as I finished off what was my terrifying ordeal. "Have you seen this guy since then?" I shook my head vigorously and he nodded once and brought his hand to my face. "Kris, you're going to be fine." And I could already feel my heart mending.
"I moved away from there two months ago. After I ditched High School all together," my voice was soft and almost inaudible, "and then I met you and... Oh God. I thought, I thought that maybe you could fix what he broke... That maybe you could put me together again. Because, fuck! You're perfect, Adam." I meant every word.
And then Adam was kissing me ever so gently, as to not scare me I suppose, and he kept his hands on each side of my waist and he let mine explore. For once, something felt right. I felt like I was supposed to do this. I pulled away long enough to whisper to Adam, "You can touch me."
And he did; his hands sliding onto my waist and lightly touching the skin underneath my shirt. It was all tentative, but oh so right. "Are you okay?" I heard him whisper to me as I kissed his neck and I sat back, carefully looking over his face.
"No, not really," I admitted, "but I know I will be."