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I was obsessing over Kradam earlier and I wanted to write a fanfic for them. :3 But I couldn't think of a good plot and I didn't feel like writing porn so...I decided to write a little crackish fic. I don't know if any of you follow Kris on Twitter and are familiar with his Tweets, but one of my favorite ones from him are "Note to self: Eating 14 plums makes you feel weird." I thought it was the funniest thing since Archie's "hush, cats!" Tweet and I always quote it and stuff. xD; I recently found out that Kris ate that many plums because there was a plum tree outside of the studio in LA and he couldn't stop eating them because they were "SO good", but I like to think that Kris just ate that many on purpose in hopes of getting Adam's love and attention for it. Yeah, my idea's more fun. And so I decided to write a fanfic based on this idea! :D
Title: "Fourteen Plums"
Author: x_candii_kiss_x
Rating: PG - For some cursing and mild suggestiveness
Pairing: Adam Lambert x Kris Allen
Genre: Humor, romance
Summary: Based on one of Kris Allen's Tweets on Twitter. Kris has a horrible stomach ache after eating 14 plums and gets some love and comfort from Adam.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Kris Allen or Adam Lambert. (I wish.) They are both real life people and I in no way am saying that these events happened in real life. This fanfic is completely FAN-MADE!!
“Ughhhhh,” Kris whined, curled up on the studio couch in fetal position. He had his arms clutched over his stomach and his eyes were closed shut. The pains in his stomach were practically unbearable, he was pretty sure he never had a stomach ache as worse as this in his life. He felt as though his stomach was ripping itself in half and turning inside out and that all of his organs were twisting and contorting in every which way in some attempt to kill him. Okay, those plums WERE delicious but right now Kris was completely doubting that eating this many was worth it.
“Fuck,” He uncharacteristically cursed under his breath. He was trying his hardest not to move, just keep steady breathing and keep his eyes closed in hope that maybe he’d just fall asleep and all of the pain would be gone, but with his stomach turning itself inside out and whatever else his entire digestive system was trying to do, he knew that sleep was impossible.
Think about Adam Lambert…that should distract you… He tried to do just that and try to focus on what made the object of his affections just who he was. The adorable freckles just above Adam’s upper lip that no amount of makeup could hide, his ice blue eyes that were so intense and penetrating even without eyeliner to bring them out, the way his full and kissable lips would curve into a smirk whenever he thought of something inappropriate that he shouldn’t say nor do on camera, his captivating persona, his strong arms, his perfect jaw line, his- “FUCK!!” Pain shot right up Kris’ stomach again and he felt like someone was literally tugging on his large intestine. Okay, so even thinking about the perfection that was Adam Lambert couldn’t make Kris ignore his stomach pains. This sucked. This was by far the stupidest idea the college- dropout-turned-American-Idol has ever had in his life.
And then he walked out. Just finished recording, plastic water bottle held in a tight grip that Kris knew too well about. “What’s wrong with you?” He asked, his eye-shadowed eyes looking directly at the couch.
Kris hadn’t even seen Adam walk in because of his eyes being so tightly shut, but he forced them open upon hearing the taller’s voice. “Stomach.” Kris replied, feeling as though forming full sentences would cause even more pain. Adam looked at him carefully, a hint of concern in his deep blue eyes. “What; is that time of the month again?” Adam teased, laughing softly at his own joke as he walked closer to the Arkansas native on the couch. He then kneeled beside the couch and placed his hand on Kris’ forehead. Kris didn’t expect a sudden touch but didn’t flinch. He was used to the generally touchy-feely relationship he and Adam shared. “No fever…” Adam murmured, “What did you do?”
“I, uh…” Kris stammered suddenly feeling very stupid. “I ate something I shouldn’t have.” And this wasn’t a total lie. One shouldn’t eat fourteen plums, after all. Plums turn into prunes and everyone knows what prunes are used for… Eating an exaggerated amount of them could only result in one thing; the condition Kris Allen was in now.
“Something you shouldn’t have?” Adam repeated. “There wasn’t anything expired in the fridge here that you ate, was there? We haven’t gone out for lunch yet.” Just the word “lunch” made Kris’ stomach twist again. Ugh. Food. He didn’t even want to think about eating anything right now, he was sure he was going to explode if he did.
“N-no...not exactly…ughh…” He groaned at the end of his sentence and rolled onto his back. “Huuuurtsss…” He found that his word was slightly raised into somewhat of a whimper, but Adam didn’t even raise an eyebrow. Kris was really low-key and mellow; it wasn’t like him to complain about something that wasn’t in fact bothering him. “Kris…” Adam whispered in a soft and gentle voice. He sat on the couch beside the smaller, Kris not being large enough to take over the whole thing even WHILE lying down. “Did you use the bathroom?” Kris just nodded, still feeling stupid. “I was in there forever. There’s nothing left in me.” Another groan, “I feel like I’m gonna die…” Adam shook his head and placed his hand on Kris’ knee, giving it a light squeeze. “You’re not going to die…I’m sure it’ll pass soon. But what the hell did you eat to feel like this?”
Kris didn’t really feel like lying to Adam. His stomach was in too much pain to even bother. “Plums. Too many of them. Fourteen.” He felt his face heat up with stupidity and he rolled back onto his side, avoiding Adam’s face at all cost. Adam seemed to be kind of confused at the whole idea. “…Fourteen plums…?” He repeated in disbelief. “Jesus, Kris.” Kris groaned yet again, “I know, I know. They were just so good…I couldn’t help it… I just kept eating.” Kris was only able to lie this second time around because there was some partial truth in it. Kris DID like plums, and they WERE really good. But no, he wasn’t about to tell Adam that the whole real reason why he ate THAT many was to have Adam’s comfort and concern and maybe get a cuddle or two out of him. If he was too damn shy to just ASK Adam for some cuddling time in the first place, then obviously he was just as shy if not more to tell Adam that he ate this many plums just for this reason.
Now that he thought about it, why didn’t he just lie to Adam and pretend that he had a stomach ache instead of ACTUALLY giving himself one? Then at least if the plan did work he’d be able to enjoy the attention from Adam without suffering every second of it.
He was such an idiot sometimes.
Adam laughed very slightly and shook his head, “Oh Kris, sweetie, you have no self control, do you? First no self control over me and now plums? What’s next?” Kris couldn’t help but smile and shook his head into the pillows of the couch, “No…I just lack self control over you and plums. Nothing else.” His face was already red and blushing when he realized what he had said. But the two constantly joked around so he just hoped that Adam wouldn’t think too into Kris going along with his joke.
Adam laughed his usual loud laugh and then gently lifted Kris up off the couch, knowing that if he had asked, Kris wouldn’t have been able to move on his own. He then pulled him up onto his lap, allowing Kris’ head to rest on Adam’s shoulder and right arm. This closeness was actually pretty normal for them, as the two were VERY affectionate with each other. Maybe even too affectionate for two boys that supposedly had nothing but a straight male bromance. Well, as straight as it could be with one of the males being openly homosexual and the other’s sexuality being very questionable, though married.
Adam then brought his left arm up and began rubbing Kris’ stomach gently and softly, offering the boy some soothing with all the pain. “Shhh…” Adam then whispered, “Just relax, okay? I’m here.” Kris blushed, and felt himself feeling shy and very small in Adam’s arms, but he greatly enjoyed the closeness and even being babied by him. He clung to the front of Adam’s shirt with one hand, and the other hand rested on Adam’s knee, feeling comfortable and used to lying there.
Kris was getting what he wanted! And surprisingly, he was enjoying this a lot more than he thought he would while suffering through his excruciating stomach pains. “Thank you,” He whispered, nuzzling at Adam’s shoulder while closing his eyes.
“Just…please…keep a better eye on me next time. If you see me eating that many plums, smack me or something?” Kris asked with his eyes still closed. Adam smirked, “Where do you want me to smack you?” Kris in turn squirmed around on Adam’s lap with a whine. “Adammm! Shut up!! Stop being a pervert! I don’t need a stomach ache AND an erection!” Adam just giggled and then leaned down to plant a soft kiss on Kris’ forehead. “Sorry, sweetheart. Just teasing…keep relaxing, okay?”
Maybe eating fourteen plums had its perks after all. Not everyone could say they got to cuddle with Adam Lambert when they have a stomach ache. Right now, though still suffering, Kris Allen had to say that he felt pretty lucky.
Not that he would ever consider eating that many plums again. There was just no way in hell.
-END-
Also posted here on my fanfiction.net account. :]
Title: "Fourteen Plums"
Author: x_candii_kiss_x
Rating: PG - For some cursing and mild suggestiveness
Pairing: Adam Lambert x Kris Allen
Genre: Humor, romance
Summary: Based on one of Kris Allen's Tweets on Twitter. Kris has a horrible stomach ache after eating 14 plums and gets some love and comfort from Adam.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Kris Allen or Adam Lambert. (I wish.) They are both real life people and I in no way am saying that these events happened in real life. This fanfic is completely FAN-MADE!!
“Ughhhhh,” Kris whined, curled up on the studio couch in fetal position. He had his arms clutched over his stomach and his eyes were closed shut. The pains in his stomach were practically unbearable, he was pretty sure he never had a stomach ache as worse as this in his life. He felt as though his stomach was ripping itself in half and turning inside out and that all of his organs were twisting and contorting in every which way in some attempt to kill him. Okay, those plums WERE delicious but right now Kris was completely doubting that eating this many was worth it.
“Fuck,” He uncharacteristically cursed under his breath. He was trying his hardest not to move, just keep steady breathing and keep his eyes closed in hope that maybe he’d just fall asleep and all of the pain would be gone, but with his stomach turning itself inside out and whatever else his entire digestive system was trying to do, he knew that sleep was impossible.
Think about Adam Lambert…that should distract you… He tried to do just that and try to focus on what made the object of his affections just who he was. The adorable freckles just above Adam’s upper lip that no amount of makeup could hide, his ice blue eyes that were so intense and penetrating even without eyeliner to bring them out, the way his full and kissable lips would curve into a smirk whenever he thought of something inappropriate that he shouldn’t say nor do on camera, his captivating persona, his strong arms, his perfect jaw line, his- “FUCK!!” Pain shot right up Kris’ stomach again and he felt like someone was literally tugging on his large intestine. Okay, so even thinking about the perfection that was Adam Lambert couldn’t make Kris ignore his stomach pains. This sucked. This was by far the stupidest idea the college- dropout-turned-American-Idol has ever had in his life.
And then he walked out. Just finished recording, plastic water bottle held in a tight grip that Kris knew too well about. “What’s wrong with you?” He asked, his eye-shadowed eyes looking directly at the couch.
Kris hadn’t even seen Adam walk in because of his eyes being so tightly shut, but he forced them open upon hearing the taller’s voice. “Stomach.” Kris replied, feeling as though forming full sentences would cause even more pain. Adam looked at him carefully, a hint of concern in his deep blue eyes. “What; is that time of the month again?” Adam teased, laughing softly at his own joke as he walked closer to the Arkansas native on the couch. He then kneeled beside the couch and placed his hand on Kris’ forehead. Kris didn’t expect a sudden touch but didn’t flinch. He was used to the generally touchy-feely relationship he and Adam shared. “No fever…” Adam murmured, “What did you do?”
“I, uh…” Kris stammered suddenly feeling very stupid. “I ate something I shouldn’t have.” And this wasn’t a total lie. One shouldn’t eat fourteen plums, after all. Plums turn into prunes and everyone knows what prunes are used for… Eating an exaggerated amount of them could only result in one thing; the condition Kris Allen was in now.
“Something you shouldn’t have?” Adam repeated. “There wasn’t anything expired in the fridge here that you ate, was there? We haven’t gone out for lunch yet.” Just the word “lunch” made Kris’ stomach twist again. Ugh. Food. He didn’t even want to think about eating anything right now, he was sure he was going to explode if he did.
“N-no...not exactly…ughh…” He groaned at the end of his sentence and rolled onto his back. “Huuuurtsss…” He found that his word was slightly raised into somewhat of a whimper, but Adam didn’t even raise an eyebrow. Kris was really low-key and mellow; it wasn’t like him to complain about something that wasn’t in fact bothering him. “Kris…” Adam whispered in a soft and gentle voice. He sat on the couch beside the smaller, Kris not being large enough to take over the whole thing even WHILE lying down. “Did you use the bathroom?” Kris just nodded, still feeling stupid. “I was in there forever. There’s nothing left in me.” Another groan, “I feel like I’m gonna die…” Adam shook his head and placed his hand on Kris’ knee, giving it a light squeeze. “You’re not going to die…I’m sure it’ll pass soon. But what the hell did you eat to feel like this?”
Kris didn’t really feel like lying to Adam. His stomach was in too much pain to even bother. “Plums. Too many of them. Fourteen.” He felt his face heat up with stupidity and he rolled back onto his side, avoiding Adam’s face at all cost. Adam seemed to be kind of confused at the whole idea. “…Fourteen plums…?” He repeated in disbelief. “Jesus, Kris.” Kris groaned yet again, “I know, I know. They were just so good…I couldn’t help it… I just kept eating.” Kris was only able to lie this second time around because there was some partial truth in it. Kris DID like plums, and they WERE really good. But no, he wasn’t about to tell Adam that the whole real reason why he ate THAT many was to have Adam’s comfort and concern and maybe get a cuddle or two out of him. If he was too damn shy to just ASK Adam for some cuddling time in the first place, then obviously he was just as shy if not more to tell Adam that he ate this many plums just for this reason.
Now that he thought about it, why didn’t he just lie to Adam and pretend that he had a stomach ache instead of ACTUALLY giving himself one? Then at least if the plan did work he’d be able to enjoy the attention from Adam without suffering every second of it.
He was such an idiot sometimes.
Adam laughed very slightly and shook his head, “Oh Kris, sweetie, you have no self control, do you? First no self control over me and now plums? What’s next?” Kris couldn’t help but smile and shook his head into the pillows of the couch, “No…I just lack self control over you and plums. Nothing else.” His face was already red and blushing when he realized what he had said. But the two constantly joked around so he just hoped that Adam wouldn’t think too into Kris going along with his joke.
Adam laughed his usual loud laugh and then gently lifted Kris up off the couch, knowing that if he had asked, Kris wouldn’t have been able to move on his own. He then pulled him up onto his lap, allowing Kris’ head to rest on Adam’s shoulder and right arm. This closeness was actually pretty normal for them, as the two were VERY affectionate with each other. Maybe even too affectionate for two boys that supposedly had nothing but a straight male bromance. Well, as straight as it could be with one of the males being openly homosexual and the other’s sexuality being very questionable, though married.
Adam then brought his left arm up and began rubbing Kris’ stomach gently and softly, offering the boy some soothing with all the pain. “Shhh…” Adam then whispered, “Just relax, okay? I’m here.” Kris blushed, and felt himself feeling shy and very small in Adam’s arms, but he greatly enjoyed the closeness and even being babied by him. He clung to the front of Adam’s shirt with one hand, and the other hand rested on Adam’s knee, feeling comfortable and used to lying there.
Kris was getting what he wanted! And surprisingly, he was enjoying this a lot more than he thought he would while suffering through his excruciating stomach pains. “Thank you,” He whispered, nuzzling at Adam’s shoulder while closing his eyes.
“Just…please…keep a better eye on me next time. If you see me eating that many plums, smack me or something?” Kris asked with his eyes still closed. Adam smirked, “Where do you want me to smack you?” Kris in turn squirmed around on Adam’s lap with a whine. “Adammm! Shut up!! Stop being a pervert! I don’t need a stomach ache AND an erection!” Adam just giggled and then leaned down to plant a soft kiss on Kris’ forehead. “Sorry, sweetheart. Just teasing…keep relaxing, okay?”
Maybe eating fourteen plums had its perks after all. Not everyone could say they got to cuddle with Adam Lambert when they have a stomach ache. Right now, though still suffering, Kris Allen had to say that he felt pretty lucky.
Not that he would ever consider eating that many plums again. There was just no way in hell.
-END-
Also posted here on my fanfiction.net account. :]