Fic: Love hurts, love scars
Fic: Love hurts, love scars
Length: 3300 words.
Rating: NC-17
Tags: Adam & Kris, Katy (briefly) explicit, adult
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they are real people, they own themselves. These situations are all fiction. Etc., etc.
Author notes: Dedicated to all those tinhatters out there! Don’t stop believin’! And inspired by the “Seriously, Kristopher” post at http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_ai/1362934.html and the “BJ lips” post at http://megalamb.livejournal.com/#post-megalamb-4055
Summary: Kris has made Katy a promise to behave until the divorce is final and the tour is finished. But it’s hard to behave when you’re in love with Adam Lambert.
Kris hated Katy’s disappointed voice. She’d used it with him a lot lately. “Kris, you said you’d be discreet. You said you’d behave.”
“I’m being discreet…. We’re being discreet. I don’t know what you’re talking about - what is it you say you’re seeing online?”
Katy sighed. “It’s not me - I’m avoiding the internet. I’m too afraid of what I’ll find there. But some of my friends like the fan sites…”
Kris interrupted. “There’s all kinds of crazy stuff on there. I know all about them, they’re called ‘tinhatters’ and they’ll see what they want to see, even if it takes a microscope. Whatever your friends found on there is a figment of somebody’s imagination.”
“Well, my friends say there’s a whole post about blow job lips, showing you with your lips looking all swollen up in some pictures.” Kris could sense Katy’s embarrassment to even bring up the specifics. “In another picture they’re analyzing what looks like a bite mark on your chest. And another one where they claim you’ve got an erection on stage while singing with Adam!”
Kris was a bit taken back. Damn those tinhatters. Wouldn’t they love to know their analysis is pretty good! He wasn’t sure what to tell Katy except the truth. “Well, sure we’ve been fooling around some. You know how I feel about him - that’s why you’re divorcing me, after all.”
“You said you’d behave till the divorce went through and till the tour was over. I promised to keep supporting you and you promised not to subject me to this embarrassment.”
Kris mumbled an apology, reiterated that he and Adam hadn’t done “it” yet, and said he’d try to be more careful. What else could he say? Katy had his back - she still loved him, still wanted the best for him. She was being pretty great about everything, considering.
Kris clicked his phone shut and was startled when firm hands grabbed his shoulders from behind and turned him around. “Hey, babe,” Adam murmured, leaning in for a leisurely kiss.
Kris moaned a little and leaned in to Adam, opening up his mouth and allowing for the tongue play he loved so much. Damn, how he wanted Adam! But there was still so much of the tour left. It was hard not to question his commitment to hold off on outright sex until the end of the tour, to keep things on the quiet until a more appropriate time. So what if they scandalized the American Idol world and thousands of parents had to explain to their 10-year-olds what, exactly, “gay” meant? Why the hell should he care? But try as he might, he couldn’t let down their youngest fans. He could imagine concerned parents all over the east coast selling off their tour tickets, and all those disappointed kids. Kris was a sucker for kids.
He reluctantly pushed Adam away. “We have to talk.”
“Oh, oh. That doesn’t sound good. You were on the phone with Katy, weren’t you?”
Kris told him about the internet pictures but Adam just laughed. “Those tinhatters are very observant, aren’t they?”
“Hey, man, it’s really not funny.” Even as Kris tried to be serious he couldn’t help laughing. “So, can somebody really tell if you’ve been giving blow jobs by your lips? Seriously?”
“I suppose it is possible,” Adam said with a grin. “Busted.”
Kris pulled out his phone and started looking for a particular text message. “How about this tweet I got?”
Adam read with interest: “Your voice was hoarse at AZ show. Haven’t been swallowing anything naughty, have you?”
“Wow, Kris - I thought just my fans always had sex on the brain.” Adam pulled Kris in tight. “This conversation is getting me hot.”
“Well, you’d better cool off, then. We have to behave. I made a promise not to embarrass Katy and I have to keep it.”
Adam did the pouty lip thing Kris loved so much and he knew his resolve would melt. “Baby, don’t push me away! We have weeks of this tour to go.” Adam caressed Kris’s neck and Kris sighed. “We can love on each other without leaving any marks or swollen lips. We just have to be gentle and get creative.”
*****
Kris was anxious for the Memphis show to be over, but he tried not to think about it. They were hopping on a quick flight to Florida afterwards, and then a whole day off! With shows the past four nights in a row, they’d been mostly in the bus and they had to pretend like nothing had changed between them. Not an easy task when images of Adam naked were burned into his brain, when the taste of Adam’s cum was still on his lips, when every time he closed his eyes he saw Adam’s beautiful mouth sucking his cock. Kris’s world had been invaded by the man the fans called the “glittery alien from planet fierce,” invaded, overthrown, taken hostage.
Finally they had hotel rooms. Glorious privacy! Kris kept wondering what Adam had in mind that wouldn’t cause swollen lips, a hoarse voice, teeth marks, or bruises. Adam did not disappoint, slipping into Kris’s room with the extra key Kris always asked for anymore. He was carrying a bottle of something and some feathers. Kris raised his eyebrow in question.
“Massage oil,” Adam explained.
“And the feathers?”
“Wait and see.”
******
After a leisurely shower together, Adam took Kris by the hand and told him to lie on his stomach and get comfortable. Kris felt every nerve ending tingling in anticipation. He breathed in the cinnamon scent of the massage oil. It felt cool as Adam rubbed it gently into the back of his neck, across his shoulders, and down his back to the curve of his hips. Adam followed the same places with his lips, ever-so-lightly brushing them against Kris’s alert skin and then exhaling warm breath where his lips had been. The oil seemed to light up like a fire, warmth spreading throughout Kris’s aroused flesh. Kris arched his hips up, trying to relieve the discomfort of his hardening cock pressing against the bed.
“Yes, baby, hips up,” Adam murmured. “I love to see your ass raised up like that. Real soon, that ass is mine.”
Kris felt himself blushing and was glad his face was against the pillow. He wanted what Adam wanted. He kept telling himself it would be worth the wait.
Kris felt something barely skimming across his skin and realized Adam was teasing him with the feather, running it lightly down the curve of his back and flicking it over his exposed ass. He felt the feather, brushed tantalizingly between his buttocks and skimming across his balls. He jumped and practically giggled and Adam murmured, “I know you like.”
After a bit more feather play, Adam tossed it aside and pressed his body against Kris. Kris felt Adam’s hard cock rub against his thigh as Adam reached under him, hands moist with oil, rubbing against his belly, stretching around to take his cock into that exploring hand. Adam was planting kisses along Kris’s neck and back while stroking, whispering “I love you, Kris. I can’t wait till you’re ready for me to make love to you.”
Adam rubbed his cock against Kris’s thigh harder now, more urgent as he stepped up the speed of his hand strokes on Kris. Kris felt the pressure mounting, the need for release growing steadily harder to hold back. He couldn’t help crying out as his orgasm hit, as he released, as Adam cried out from his own movement against Kris’s leg and added his cum to the sweet, sticky mess in Kris’s bed and they fell into it in a jumble of arms and legs and laughter and pent-up emotion. Adam pulled Kris up tight against him and took his mouth, still gentle, lightly flicking his tongue into Kris’s mouth and giving him little pecks on the lips. “No marks,” he murmured. “You’ll still look as virgin as the day you were born.”
*****
They decided to make it a game - find ways to love on each other without it showing to picture takers with magnifying glasses. Most were not even sexual, just dangerous hints at what was to come: rubbing their feet together under the dinner table; holding hands when no one was looking; exchanging stolen kisses during rehearsal breaks. It was a delightful way to pass the days on tour, and gave them something to look forward to on their very occasional days off, when they could have more of each other.
Nearing the end of the tour, though, the strain was beginning to show. So much arousal, so little release. Kris knew Adam was beginning to tire of the game, to want more. Finally, on a hotel night during the final week, Adam started suggesting they were almost to the end and he wanted Kris to be ready to take their relationship all the way.
Kris’s resolve was weakening but still, he had made a promise. “No, Adam, we can’t,” he whispered against Adam’s neck as they lay in bed. “The divorce should be through any day now. I promised Katy we wouldn’t have sex until then.”
Adam just laughed. “Do you really think we haven’t ‘had sex’ already? Come on, Kris. You seriously have the same definition of sex as Bill Clinton so you can deny we’ve ‘had sex.’”
Kris shrugged, said “We are both from Arkansas, after all.”
*****
Just a few days before the last show, and Kris was feeling like he would explode. Adam was worse, getting agitated about little things that didn’t usually bother him. Adam got a hopeful look when Kris told him the divorce was final. “No major picture analysis in the fan posts,” Kris added. “And one more night on tour. So chill out, Adam. The wait’ll be worth it.”
Kris said it, but it was hard to mean it. All this trying to be gentle just had him more aroused and he had to do something to release some pent-up energy and was glad for the basketball court at the resort. He decided to shoot some hoops and forget all of the craziness, just chill for a while. He’d never been great at basketball, never tried real hard because of his height but he could hit some shots. He made some from three-point range and from the free throw line when he heard Adam yell something at him and got distracted while taking a shot. He sent a smile Adam’s way and turned back toward the hoop, only to have the shot ricochet off the rim and back into his face. His mouth absorbed most of the blow and he let out an “Oh, shit,” louder than he meant to and Adam rushed over to see what happened.
Kris was holding his hand over his mouth and shaking off the pain. He managed to whisper, “Damn it, Adam, why do you have to be so distracting.”
“So it’s my fault you missed a shot and took a basketball in the face, is it?”
“That’s right. And look at my mouth now.”
Adam looked and cracked up. “It’s already swollen, baby. Oh, the fun the fans will have with the pics from tonight’s show!”
“Okay, Lambert, you asked for it. Back to the room, right now. If I’m going to be the butt of the jokes this evening, so are you.”
*****
No point in restraint now, Kris thought. Time to go out of this crazy tour with a bang - pun intended in every way!
As soon as they closed the door behind them, Kris slammed Adam up against the wall, hard. “No more nice guys, no more gentle,” Kris growled. “We made it this far, it’s time to party, baby.” Kris dug his fingernails into the flesh of Adam’s shoulder and enjoyed the wince he saw in Adam’s eyes. He pulled Adam’s mouth down to meet his and hungrily claimed his mouth, biting and sucking on Adam’s lower lip. Kris felt Adam respond with enthusiasm, breaking away from Kris’s already swollen mouth to nibble down Kris’s neck and suck bits of Kris’s flesh into his mouth, hard, not caring how many marks he left.
Kris groaned with pleasure and started tugging at Adam’s belt, popping the snap on Adam’s jeans, tugging them off in a frenzy, then pulling up Adam’s shirt and taking a bite out of Adam’s chest on the way to claiming a hard nipple.
Adam gasped and grabbed at Kris’s clothes, not caring what got ripped, torn, or mangled. After tossing them in a heap, he took Kris firmly by the shoulders and reversed position, slamming Kris against the wall. Kris felt the air escape from his lungs as Adam manhandled him. “Hope this room is soundproofed,” Kris said.
“I couldn’t give a flying fuck,” Adam answered as he lowered himself to his knees and claimed Kris’s cock for his mouth. Kris gave a yell as Adam took him, teeth skimming over his sensitive flesh, tongue working its way up and down his length, then flicking over the head before beginning the sucking motion. Kris tugged on Adam’s hair - hard - and was glad Adam had thick hair. He didn’t mind marking Adam up a little, but Adam liked his hair and didn’t want to lose any.
Kris felt warmth spreading to his extremities and he squeezed Adam’s shoulders hard to hold himself up as the orgasm hit. Undulating pleasure took over and he felt his knees weaken, his body grow limp. Adam was holding him up now, holding him while lapping up the stray cum and moaning his approval. Adam finally took Kris into his arms and practically carried Kris to bed, panting in anticipation.
Kris surrendered to Adam, in every way. This was the part he was new at - this was the part Adam had to teach him. Adam murmured, “Hope you don’t mind me topping this time, seeing as you’re all spent. I’m open to letting you top later, if you want.”
“Oh, I want. I want everything,” Kris replied. “Right now I want you to fuck my ass, baby. I’ve been dreaming about your big cock inside me. Fantasizing for weeks now.”
“No more fantasy, baby,” Adam said, voice breaking. “Every fantasy’s reality, from now on my love.”
Kris watched as Adam reached for the lube Kris had placed teasingly on the nightstand when they first arrived, when he thought it would be at least one more day before they could use it. Adam stopped for a moment, got out of bed and grabbed his own jeans, pulling the belt out of the loops. Kris’s eyes got wide as Adam grinned broadly, capturing Kris’s left hand and lassoing it to the bedpost with the belt. Adam then covered his fingers with lube and spread Kris’s legs apart. Kris felt himself tense a little as Adam inserted a moist finger and Adam coached him to “breath, relax.” Kris stretched out his free hand to touch Adam but he couldn’t reach him.
Closing his eyes, Kris felt the sensation of his opening being stretched, of Adam’s finger being joined by another, pressing in and out with more and more urgency. Kris gasped as Adam found that sweet spot he’d heard so much about. “Mmmmm, nice…. Yes.” Kris arched up to meet the stroking fingers.
“Oh, baby, you are so ready,” Adam cooed. Kris gasped as Adam entered him, as he felt Adam’s enormous cock stretching him, pervading him, owning him. Pain made his eyes go blurry. Kris had never experienced agony and ecstacy in the same moment. It was heaven.
Adam was thrusting now, more of him inside each time, finally giving Kris every inch of his love. Kris made unintelligible sounds as Adam banged hard against him. He saw Adam leaning in closer to him and took the opportunity to reach out with his free hand and grab Adam’s head, pulling him down and simultaneously leaning up as far as he could. Kris wanted Adam’s mouth, wanted to taste him while he pumped but it was a bit awkward and as their faces came close together Kris’s head hit Adam’s left eye, hard and Adam cried out, “Shit” but he wasn’t mad, just laughed and claimed Kris’s mouth, thrusting his tongue inside just as his release came.
Adam continued to rock back and forth and Kris was surprised to feel himself coming again despite having just been wrung out and spent only minutes before. He gasped with the intensity of it and felt Adam laughing against his mouth, gloriously happy, moving to trail kisses down the side of Kris’s face and to his neck.
Kris used his free hand to push Adam back. He wanted to see Adam’s eyes. Kris looked into those clear blue eyes and smiled broadly, seeing nothing but love there. Adam’s eyes were still, after all this exploring, Kris’s favorite feature. As Adam reached to loosen Kris’s bonds, Kris brushed his fingers down Adam’s cheek, touched his lips, smiled. “Your lips are looking a little swollen there, Adam.”
“Yeah, and I’m gonna have a bruised eye where you head-butted me there, baby.” Adam grinned. “But I won’t look as bad as you with that busted lip and those hickey’s all over your neck.”
“Especially since all you’ve gotta do is go heavy on the makeup and the bruise is hidden.”
Adam shook his head vehemently. “Nope, not covering up my love scars. Light makeup tonight!”
*****
Kris couldn’t resist watching Adam’s set from backstage. Usually he tried not to watch because the audience could see him from some angles and he didn’t want to distract from Adam’s performance. There was no way he could miss this tonight. Adam always made every song intensely sensual but this time he was basking in post-coital glow, sexuality oozing from him. Kris actually heard some gasps when a close-up of Adam’s face was plastered on the jumbotron. He was wearing no makeup except some eyeliner and the bruise was prominent. So were the marks on Adam’s arms, where Kris had dug in tightly. Yes, tinhatters, Kris thought. This show’s for you!
Kris knew, as he began his own set with a gigantic closeup during Heartless that people might notice his markings, but that the full effect would come as he and Adam stood side by side, singing to each other at the close of Don’t Stop Believin’. Kris wondered if the surprise they had planned would be a big shock to the other eight idols. He doubted it. They weren’t blind.
After closing his set with Hey Jude, Adam and Kris went quickly backstage like usual. They made a fast costume change while the others began the closing number, then were lifted to the stage for their final performance of the tour, adding their voices to those already crooning their goodbyes. This time, when they rose from the underbelly of the staging area, their hands were joined as they sung “Don’t stop, believin’ hold on to that feelin’ yeah.”
The camera flashes from the front rows were relentless. Everybody wanted a shot of Kradam holding hands, of Kris and Adam together looking beat up and intensely happy about it. Kris tried not to think about the shock and awe they were causing, enjoying the performance like never before, not fretting about hiding his feelings - or the erection he inevitably ended up with at this moment in the song.
Kris shook his head in amazement. Adam had “come out” in Rolling Stone, but Kris was coming out on stage, in front of 20,000 people with his man by his side and his love marks showing. Scandalous! Glorious! This was a concert their most rabid fans would never forget, and Kris would never forget, not as long as he lived.