scream your heart out ,, s/a
title: scream your heart out
author: sooverrated_x
rating: PG-13-ish. a bit of swearing and stufff.
pairing: kradam bbies. matt/kris friendship, danny/kris friendship/mentoring kind of deal
warnings: angssssst, angry!kris, #dannyisnotadouche (idek, I like the guy? XD) all resulting in some sort of fluff.
summary: adam always goes out at night leaving Kris to cover for him, Kris doesn't say so, but it's really starting to piss him off.
disclaimer: I don't know or own them, they belong to themselves and each other ... obv. As far as I know, this didn't happen. This is all a product of my over active imagination and random crazy plot!bunnies that I tend to get. Cut text from the song Falling Slowly cause that movie owns my soul, and the title is from the song Rooftops by Lost Prophitds
A/N: I dunno. xD I need something better to do with my time? lmao. Eh, I didn't edit it much, so there are probably like ... really dumb mistakes (spelling or otherwise) that you'd be awesome for pointing out (: yup. I got some idea's for this by bouncing them off of a friend. Which totally made it better ... cause I was totally stuck and she gave me kick awesome ideas which just totes made this possible to write <3
Kris was getting annoyed with Adam. He was okay with being annoyed at him, because he could handle that. Being annoyed only lasted for a couple of hours and for the most part he could hide being annoyed. He never really had to let on that it bugged him when Adam asked him to cover for him when Brad wanted to go out for the night. He never let on that he stayed up until two - sometimes three or four am - waiting for him to get back, only to pretend to be asleep when he came back smelling like alcohol and sex, and if it was a Wednesday night, like weed. It was easy to pretend that it didn’t annoy him because all he had to do was pretend that he was asleep while Adam silently moved around the room as to not wake him up. And even though he still smelled like all of those things, the annoyance started to fade away by the time Kris could hear the shower running because Adam really did care. When Adam was being quiet because Kris was sleeping Kris knew that Adam did care, and he stopped being annoyed.
Because he also knew that if Katy was in LA all the time, he would probably come back at two am smelling like her perfume and maybe sex too. And there was a part of him that knew that if Katy was there, it wouldn’t always be Kris covering for Adam, but they’d take turns and cover for each other. But Katy wasn’t in LA and Brad was, so Kris ended up doing the covering every night. Besides … he always told Adam that he was okay with it, so it wasn’t like Adam was making him do anything.
•••
It was really Danny who noticed first. Kris wasn’t too sure how, but he did. It was at breakfast one morning, Kris and Danny were the only two who were up, Kris stirring a bowl of cereal while Danny was actually eating his. The good sugary kind that Alison’s mom had snuck in for all of them.
“So um … where has Adam been heading off to every night?” and his voice was so nonchalant, so casual that Kris almost thought of it as nothing. Almost just told him - like it would have been nothing. But instead, he choked (on what he wasn’t sure, because it wasn’t like he was actually eating the cereal) dropping his spoon.
“What? And how? Danny you didn’t-“ because now Kris was worried.
“Don’t worry… I didn’t tell anyone. I fell asleep on the couch … watching tv or something. And when I woke up it was three in the morning, and Adam was just walking in. I figured you might have known …” And Kris was relived because if he had said anything both him and Adam would have been in trouble and Kris really didn’t want to deal with it.
“Just … out.” Kris muttered, going back to concentrating on his bowl of milk and mush because he really didn’t want to tell anyone … that one would be up to Adam. It wasn’t like he didn’t have enough to think about anyways.
•••
It was the night after Megan had gotten voted off and they all needed a little pick me up, so party with a bit of alcohol seemed to be in order. Kris - though he didn’t have all that much himself, sitting on the side lines with Alison - kind of liked it. Just all of them being together like this. And because he secretly hoped that it meant that Adam would stay in that night. That they wouldn’t talk until about eleven which was when Adam usually snuck out. That, instead they’d stay up until three or four and just talk all night. Because Kris needed that kind of pick me up, and not the kind that they were having right now.
Though, back in the idol mansion, tucked away in their room, at eleven oh four, Adam got off the bed that they were both sitting on leaving Kris to feel the vacant spot that Adam left behind. He really didn’t want to be doing this tonight, but he told him that he didn’t mind. He didn’t want Adam to have to stay behind because of him. So he let Adam get ready and leave seven minutes later (Kris wasn’t counting. He wasn’t looking at the clock.) and as soon as the door closed, Kris got up off the bed, walked the five feet to his own bed and crawled under the covers. For the first time he fell asleep before Adam got back.
•••
No one really talked about it other then the morning with Danny. And Kris knew that Danny was good for his word, but he couldn’t help but worry. If something slipped. If someone looked out their window at the wrong time. If someone else fell asleep on the couch. He was worried. Not only for Adam, but for himself too. And he was starting to get a little more then annoyed, but usually by the morning, the feeling was gone, and they went about their days packed with rehearsals, ford video shoots and appearances. Kris forgot that he was more then annoyed until they were all back in their rooms and Adam was getting ready.
The night that Lil and Anoop had been voted off, Kris almost said something. Almost begged him to stay behind just one night. Almost begged him to not come back smelling like sex and alcohol and - because it was Wednesday - weed. Just to stay there and talk to Kris, instead of going out with Brad. But Kris shut up when he thought about Katy and how he’d be doing this if she were here. He shut up, got under the covers and stayed awake until Adam came back at something like three in the morning. He shut his eyes, mostly out of habit at that point, listening to him move around the room and falling asleep when he heard the covers being pushed back on the bed next to him.
And for the first time, he was still kind of mad in the morning.
•••
The good thing about Danny, was that he knew. The other good thing was that he was reliable when it came to his sleeping patterns and what time he got up. Seriously, he could go to bed at six am, and then he’d be up in an hour just because he always got up at seven. No matter what. It was also a good thing that Adam liked to sleep in, and that Danny really didn’t mind talking.
“Tell him it bugs you then.” And Kris’s forehead hit the table at that point because if only it was as easy as that.
“Okay then … look Kris. I don’t know what to tell you. Because you can tell him, or you can keep your mouth shut and suffer. Because telling me isn’t going to change anything. He’s still going to go out, you’re still going to cover for him, and he’s still coming back at ass o’clock in the morning. It isn’t going to change until you say something … or if he gets caught?” And Danny just gave him that knowing look like he was suggesting something.
“Jeez Danny don’t say anything!” he said, head shooting up. “Because I’m going to get in trouble too. I swear if you say anything-“ Kris’s voice was getting dangerous, and Danny threw his hands up because he could tell.
“Okay, okay … it was just a suggestion.” He went back to eating his cereal and Kris went back to stirring his.
•••
Kris kind of wanted to tell Matt, because something told him that Matt would have better advice then Danny did. But then Kris remembered that it was Matt and that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. It would either result in merciless teasing, something slipping up (because Matt really couldn’t keep his mouth shut) or raised eyebrows and knowing looks because Matt knew things about Kris before Kris knew. So Kris didn’t say anything to Matt.
•••
It was some night in-between Lil and Anoop’s elimination and Disco week when Kris went to Matt’s room before Adam had even left. He needed to talk to someone, and he wasn’t doing this ‘talk until eleven, and then Adam’s leaving’ thing. He didn’t tell him that Adam was going out for the night, but he didn’t have to. Matt just didn’t know that it was a nightly thing.
The good thing about Matt was that he was funny, that he liked to interject his own commentary, yet he still listened. That when Kris didn’t feel like talking anymore, he’d just take over. And when Kris didn’t feel like talking about a particular topic, Matt could tell and he’d change the topic to something that was just completely different and Kris wouldn’t have to say a word. Matt could make Kris genuinely laugh. He could make him forget everything and just laugh. And he didn’t even realise what time it was anymore. He probably wouldn’t have gone back to his own room. He would have been fine with crashing on the empty bed that Anoop had left behind and just telling Adam that he had fallen asleep there come morning. He wasn’t even annoyed with Adam anymore, and that was one really good thing about Matt. That’s what he would have done if there hadn’t been a knock on the door.
All four eyes darted to the door, and Kris was pretty sure that if it could, his heart would have jumped into his throat. Because one of the handler’s knocking on your door (especially when Adam was where he was not supposed to be) probably wasn’t a good thing.
“Oh there you are,” he said with - what? Relief? - when he saw Kris. “But where’s Adam?” He asked, and Kris just looked at Matt who wasn’t smiling anymore, because he just knew that this was what Kris was scared of. Getting caught. And he knew that Kris wasn’t about to say anything.
“He’s um … out.” Matt supplied, and Kris thought that he could see a little bit of a Matt smirk being suppressed.
“What do you mean by out?” and the concern was gone, and Kris was really, really scared.
“You know … not here, not in the mansion. Probably with Brad. Out.” Kris kind of wanted to kill Matt because getting snarky at one am probably wasn’t a good idea.
“And you know about this?” He wasn’t asking Matt, he was asking Kris. Kris kind of wanted to disappear.
“Yeah?” He knew that he’d be in trouble. Not as much trouble as Adam, but still in trouble. And now he wasn’t just annoyed with Adam anymore, he was pissed. Mad. Angry. Livid.
The handler sighed and left the room because one am was way too early to deal with this. It was sort of like Blake all over again, and even though it wasn’t a big deal, there was just so much more Adam appeal, so much more idol hype, that it kind of did matter. But Adam was, how did Blake say it? not twelve anymore. Adam was a big boy and he’d deal with it in the morning.
Matt and Kris didn’t say anything to each other. They just kind of looked at each other, and Matt knew. That Kris was mad, scared and kind of in love all at the same time. They didn’t say anything when Kris when to his own room, came back dressed in pajama’s and crawled into Anoop’s old bed. Matt knew more then Kris that Kris didn’t want to face Adam right now because Kris was scared of being mad at Adam. So he just let him stay there and sleep so that he could deal with it in the morning. Dealing with it right now was clearly something that Kris did not want to do.
•••
“Hey, where were you?” It was the first thing that Adam said when Kris walked into the room in the morning. It was probably the first time that Kris still wanted to strangle Adam in the morning. He knew that Danny and Matt were right. He should have told him. Then maybe Adam wouldn’t have gotten caught and Kris wouldn’t be mad right now.
“Do you know that they found out last night?” Kris’s teeth were clenched because he really didn’t want to yell. It was ten am, he was still kind of groggy and he hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet for god’s sake.
“They what? They … oh - God Kris, I’m sorry.” He sounded sorry, he looked sorry. It was all over his face and in the way that his right hand was rubbing the back of his neck. But Kris was still mad.
“Jeez Adam! Because sorry is supposed to make it all okay? Supposed to make the fact that, hey, I’m at fault here too, okay? And I’m supposed to just say it’s okay?” He was really on the verge of shouting and based off of Adam’s face it was shocking him as much as it was shocking Kris.
“I - ” but Adam wasn’t going to get much say here. Not with Kris being mad and all.
“Shut up Adam. Seriously, shut up for five seconds will ya? You go out every night, and then I’m stuck here. And maybe I wanted to be with someone last night, so Matt’s room seemed like a good idea. And what do you know? They find out that you’re gone. And who’s there to answer all the questions? Me. Well … and Matt, but he’s anything but helpful. Fuck Adam, you always do this. There hasn’t been one night where you just stayed. I’ve never even seen you. You know that? I’ve never seen you without all of this and I’m you’re roommate.” And that felt really, really good. And he made a mental note to thank Danny.
He hadn’t realised that until now. He hadn’t realised that it bothered him that he never got to see Adam without the stage clothes, the everything that Adam was when he was in front of America. He never got to just see Adam and he wanted to see that.
Maybe it was something in his voice, but somehow, Adam picked up on that. As soon as he said it, the look in his eyes changed, he grabbed Kris’s hand and pulled him into the bathroom. Kris really didn’t know what to make of any of it, so he just followed Adam. Not like he had much of a choice seeing as Adam was a whole lot stronger then him and he was currently grabbing his wrist with no apparent intent of letting go.
As much as Kris really wanted to know what was going through Adam’s head when he shut the door behind them, he didn’t ask. He just kept his mouth shut and watched him go through his things (more then twice of what Kris had brought) and produced a bottle of some kind of liquid and those little white pad’s that he had seen Katy use before. Adam thrust them at Kris wordlessly, but down the lid on the toilet and sat on it.
“You want to see, go ahead.” He said, looking at Kris maybe a little too intensely. At first Kris didn’t move, the bottle in one hand and the white pads in the other, and his just stared. Because he really couldn’t believe this. Not because, oh my gawd I get to see Adam freaking Lambert without his make up on, but because this was his way of saying sorry and Kris got it, and he was accepting it.
“Seriously Kris.” Adam’s voice brought Kris back to some sort of reality and made him realise that he had just been standing there a little too long. It was kind of awkward though. Kris didn’t know where to start or what he was doing because he had never done this. He had seen Katy do it more times then he could count, taking her make up off while he was brushing his teeth at night. But that was different. That was just watching and this was actually doing and he had no idea. He figured that moving closer to Adam would be a good start.
Kneeling down in front of him on the toilet seat, Kris handed the stuff to Adam because he really didn’t know what to do. How much was too much and how much was too little. And he felt a little silly doing it too, but he wasn’t going to admit to that one. He watched Adam as he poured some of the liquid onto one of the pads, and it smelled vaguely familiar. Not like the kind Katy used, but like baby oil. Kris really did think that Adam would just do it himself, but he didn’t. Instead he gave the now kind of damp pad back to Kris so that he could do it.
Adam’s eyes were closed and Kris was staring intently at him. He couldn’t see them, but he knew that there were freckles there because they were all over his arms and whatever other parts of his body that Kris had seen. He just knew that they were there because google was kind of useful, not that he looked these kind of things up.
This whole kneeling thing wasn’t going to work out. Kris was too low, and to reach Adam’s face he’d have to stretch up. So he stood up, kind of crouching over Adam. He took the pad and moved it across Adam’s jaw line, and as it moved his skin went from being completely covered to naked and like Kris knew, there were freckles there. As Kris kept going, moving along Adam’s face, Kris got closer to him. Almost to the point that Adam could feel Kris, and Kris’s heart was starting to speed up a little. Even though he did know why, he wasn’t about to admit that to himself, or anyone else. He was just going to keep saying ‘It’s only Adam. It’s only Adam.’
There was no logical way as to how he was taking the layer of make up off of Adam. He moved across the left side of his jaw, making a strip of freckles from his ear to his chin and then back up his cheek to his left eye.
“Keep your eyes shut.” Kris muttered kind of like he was concentrating. He moved the pad over his left eye wiping away the black and the glitter. He pulled the no longer white pad away from Adam’s face, first examining his handy work, half of his face uncovered, and even more of it still covered, and then looking at the pad in his hand.
“Damn Adam, you use a lot of this stuff.” He muttered under his breath. It was low, supposed to only be for him to hear, but he knew Adam heard him through the small smirk that was on his lips, and the way that his eyebrows were raised even though his eyes were still shut.
“Makes me look pretty.” Adam said, opening the eye that still had the make up on it.
Kris pulled his bottom lip on between his teeth, studying Adam’s face. “Shut your eyes again,” he was almost incoherent with his words and that little bit of drawl that he had. But Adam understood him and shut his eyes, and Kris leaned in again, trying to clean his skin with the used pad. He moved it across his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his other eye … all the while avoiding the space between his lips and his nose, and his chin and those lips.
It was almost all gone, give or take a couple of strips that Kris had moved and the whole area around Adam’s mouth. Going back to where he started, he moved his hand with the pad between his fingers down Adam’s jaw line to his chin wiping away the bit of make up that was left there. He balled the used up pad in his fist and ran the tips of his fingers across Adam’s chin, his over hand just moving to his throat without actually thinking about it. He rubbed his thumb under Adam’s bottom lip, and he was so close that he could feel Adam’s breath hitch. He didn’t hear it, he felt it. He was so close - he needed to pull away, but he couldn’t. He needed to stay close.
“Jeez, Kris,” Adam breathed out, and if he wasn’t so close, Kris was pretty sure that he wouldn’t have heard him. But he could feel it as he talked. Feel the vibration in his throat where his hand was. He didn’t how it happened, but lips met freckled lips, the pad long forgotten pad falling from his hand as his hand flattened out and he palmed Adam’s jaw. Damn, he loved that jaw line. And Kris knew that if he were to talk right now it would be more incoherent then Adam could make out.
So he just kissed him and he stopped thinking because if he started thinking again, he’d stop kissing. He didn’t want to stop kissing. It was Adam who stopped first. Pulling away just enough so that their lips weren’t pressed together anymore, but their noses were still touching. And Kris started thinking again.
“Adam I - I can’t I’m really-“
“Don’t say sorry, Kris. You don’t have to be sorry.” His lips were brushing against Kris’s when he spoke, but not kissing him anymore.
Kris just nodded the best he could nod when noses and foreheads were being pressed together.
He just opened his eyes and pulled away from him, going back to looking at Adam, face completely naked give or take the few patches that Kris missed, and they didn’t matter.
“You’re still pretty without the make up,” he mused cocking his head, with that Kris grin.
----
ahh the end ... idk xDD other then that I like it. lol
author: sooverrated_x
rating: PG-13-ish. a bit of swearing and stufff.
pairing: kradam bbies. matt/kris friendship, danny/kris friendship/mentoring kind of deal
warnings: angssssst, angry!kris, #dannyisnotadouche (idek, I like the guy? XD) all resulting in some sort of fluff.
summary: adam always goes out at night leaving Kris to cover for him, Kris doesn't say so, but it's really starting to piss him off.
disclaimer: I don't know or own them, they belong to themselves and each other ... obv. As far as I know, this didn't happen. This is all a product of my over active imagination and random crazy plot!bunnies that I tend to get. Cut text from the song Falling Slowly cause that movie owns my soul, and the title is from the song Rooftops by Lost Prophitds
A/N: I dunno. xD I need something better to do with my time? lmao. Eh, I didn't edit it much, so there are probably like ... really dumb mistakes (spelling or otherwise) that you'd be awesome for pointing out (: yup. I got some idea's for this by bouncing them off of a friend. Which totally made it better ... cause I was totally stuck and she gave me kick awesome ideas which just totes made this possible to write <3
Kris was getting annoyed with Adam. He was okay with being annoyed at him, because he could handle that. Being annoyed only lasted for a couple of hours and for the most part he could hide being annoyed. He never really had to let on that it bugged him when Adam asked him to cover for him when Brad wanted to go out for the night. He never let on that he stayed up until two - sometimes three or four am - waiting for him to get back, only to pretend to be asleep when he came back smelling like alcohol and sex, and if it was a Wednesday night, like weed. It was easy to pretend that it didn’t annoy him because all he had to do was pretend that he was asleep while Adam silently moved around the room as to not wake him up. And even though he still smelled like all of those things, the annoyance started to fade away by the time Kris could hear the shower running because Adam really did care. When Adam was being quiet because Kris was sleeping Kris knew that Adam did care, and he stopped being annoyed.
Because he also knew that if Katy was in LA all the time, he would probably come back at two am smelling like her perfume and maybe sex too. And there was a part of him that knew that if Katy was there, it wouldn’t always be Kris covering for Adam, but they’d take turns and cover for each other. But Katy wasn’t in LA and Brad was, so Kris ended up doing the covering every night. Besides … he always told Adam that he was okay with it, so it wasn’t like Adam was making him do anything.
•••
It was really Danny who noticed first. Kris wasn’t too sure how, but he did. It was at breakfast one morning, Kris and Danny were the only two who were up, Kris stirring a bowl of cereal while Danny was actually eating his. The good sugary kind that Alison’s mom had snuck in for all of them.
“So um … where has Adam been heading off to every night?” and his voice was so nonchalant, so casual that Kris almost thought of it as nothing. Almost just told him - like it would have been nothing. But instead, he choked (on what he wasn’t sure, because it wasn’t like he was actually eating the cereal) dropping his spoon.
“What? And how? Danny you didn’t-“ because now Kris was worried.
“Don’t worry… I didn’t tell anyone. I fell asleep on the couch … watching tv or something. And when I woke up it was three in the morning, and Adam was just walking in. I figured you might have known …” And Kris was relived because if he had said anything both him and Adam would have been in trouble and Kris really didn’t want to deal with it.
“Just … out.” Kris muttered, going back to concentrating on his bowl of milk and mush because he really didn’t want to tell anyone … that one would be up to Adam. It wasn’t like he didn’t have enough to think about anyways.
•••
It was the night after Megan had gotten voted off and they all needed a little pick me up, so party with a bit of alcohol seemed to be in order. Kris - though he didn’t have all that much himself, sitting on the side lines with Alison - kind of liked it. Just all of them being together like this. And because he secretly hoped that it meant that Adam would stay in that night. That they wouldn’t talk until about eleven which was when Adam usually snuck out. That, instead they’d stay up until three or four and just talk all night. Because Kris needed that kind of pick me up, and not the kind that they were having right now.
Though, back in the idol mansion, tucked away in their room, at eleven oh four, Adam got off the bed that they were both sitting on leaving Kris to feel the vacant spot that Adam left behind. He really didn’t want to be doing this tonight, but he told him that he didn’t mind. He didn’t want Adam to have to stay behind because of him. So he let Adam get ready and leave seven minutes later (Kris wasn’t counting. He wasn’t looking at the clock.) and as soon as the door closed, Kris got up off the bed, walked the five feet to his own bed and crawled under the covers. For the first time he fell asleep before Adam got back.
•••
No one really talked about it other then the morning with Danny. And Kris knew that Danny was good for his word, but he couldn’t help but worry. If something slipped. If someone looked out their window at the wrong time. If someone else fell asleep on the couch. He was worried. Not only for Adam, but for himself too. And he was starting to get a little more then annoyed, but usually by the morning, the feeling was gone, and they went about their days packed with rehearsals, ford video shoots and appearances. Kris forgot that he was more then annoyed until they were all back in their rooms and Adam was getting ready.
The night that Lil and Anoop had been voted off, Kris almost said something. Almost begged him to stay behind just one night. Almost begged him to not come back smelling like sex and alcohol and - because it was Wednesday - weed. Just to stay there and talk to Kris, instead of going out with Brad. But Kris shut up when he thought about Katy and how he’d be doing this if she were here. He shut up, got under the covers and stayed awake until Adam came back at something like three in the morning. He shut his eyes, mostly out of habit at that point, listening to him move around the room and falling asleep when he heard the covers being pushed back on the bed next to him.
And for the first time, he was still kind of mad in the morning.
•••
The good thing about Danny, was that he knew. The other good thing was that he was reliable when it came to his sleeping patterns and what time he got up. Seriously, he could go to bed at six am, and then he’d be up in an hour just because he always got up at seven. No matter what. It was also a good thing that Adam liked to sleep in, and that Danny really didn’t mind talking.
“Tell him it bugs you then.” And Kris’s forehead hit the table at that point because if only it was as easy as that.
“Okay then … look Kris. I don’t know what to tell you. Because you can tell him, or you can keep your mouth shut and suffer. Because telling me isn’t going to change anything. He’s still going to go out, you’re still going to cover for him, and he’s still coming back at ass o’clock in the morning. It isn’t going to change until you say something … or if he gets caught?” And Danny just gave him that knowing look like he was suggesting something.
“Jeez Danny don’t say anything!” he said, head shooting up. “Because I’m going to get in trouble too. I swear if you say anything-“ Kris’s voice was getting dangerous, and Danny threw his hands up because he could tell.
“Okay, okay … it was just a suggestion.” He went back to eating his cereal and Kris went back to stirring his.
•••
Kris kind of wanted to tell Matt, because something told him that Matt would have better advice then Danny did. But then Kris remembered that it was Matt and that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. It would either result in merciless teasing, something slipping up (because Matt really couldn’t keep his mouth shut) or raised eyebrows and knowing looks because Matt knew things about Kris before Kris knew. So Kris didn’t say anything to Matt.
•••
It was some night in-between Lil and Anoop’s elimination and Disco week when Kris went to Matt’s room before Adam had even left. He needed to talk to someone, and he wasn’t doing this ‘talk until eleven, and then Adam’s leaving’ thing. He didn’t tell him that Adam was going out for the night, but he didn’t have to. Matt just didn’t know that it was a nightly thing.
The good thing about Matt was that he was funny, that he liked to interject his own commentary, yet he still listened. That when Kris didn’t feel like talking anymore, he’d just take over. And when Kris didn’t feel like talking about a particular topic, Matt could tell and he’d change the topic to something that was just completely different and Kris wouldn’t have to say a word. Matt could make Kris genuinely laugh. He could make him forget everything and just laugh. And he didn’t even realise what time it was anymore. He probably wouldn’t have gone back to his own room. He would have been fine with crashing on the empty bed that Anoop had left behind and just telling Adam that he had fallen asleep there come morning. He wasn’t even annoyed with Adam anymore, and that was one really good thing about Matt. That’s what he would have done if there hadn’t been a knock on the door.
All four eyes darted to the door, and Kris was pretty sure that if it could, his heart would have jumped into his throat. Because one of the handler’s knocking on your door (especially when Adam was where he was not supposed to be) probably wasn’t a good thing.
“Oh there you are,” he said with - what? Relief? - when he saw Kris. “But where’s Adam?” He asked, and Kris just looked at Matt who wasn’t smiling anymore, because he just knew that this was what Kris was scared of. Getting caught. And he knew that Kris wasn’t about to say anything.
“He’s um … out.” Matt supplied, and Kris thought that he could see a little bit of a Matt smirk being suppressed.
“What do you mean by out?” and the concern was gone, and Kris was really, really scared.
“You know … not here, not in the mansion. Probably with Brad. Out.” Kris kind of wanted to kill Matt because getting snarky at one am probably wasn’t a good idea.
“And you know about this?” He wasn’t asking Matt, he was asking Kris. Kris kind of wanted to disappear.
“Yeah?” He knew that he’d be in trouble. Not as much trouble as Adam, but still in trouble. And now he wasn’t just annoyed with Adam anymore, he was pissed. Mad. Angry. Livid.
The handler sighed and left the room because one am was way too early to deal with this. It was sort of like Blake all over again, and even though it wasn’t a big deal, there was just so much more Adam appeal, so much more idol hype, that it kind of did matter. But Adam was, how did Blake say it? not twelve anymore. Adam was a big boy and he’d deal with it in the morning.
Matt and Kris didn’t say anything to each other. They just kind of looked at each other, and Matt knew. That Kris was mad, scared and kind of in love all at the same time. They didn’t say anything when Kris when to his own room, came back dressed in pajama’s and crawled into Anoop’s old bed. Matt knew more then Kris that Kris didn’t want to face Adam right now because Kris was scared of being mad at Adam. So he just let him stay there and sleep so that he could deal with it in the morning. Dealing with it right now was clearly something that Kris did not want to do.
•••
“Hey, where were you?” It was the first thing that Adam said when Kris walked into the room in the morning. It was probably the first time that Kris still wanted to strangle Adam in the morning. He knew that Danny and Matt were right. He should have told him. Then maybe Adam wouldn’t have gotten caught and Kris wouldn’t be mad right now.
“Do you know that they found out last night?” Kris’s teeth were clenched because he really didn’t want to yell. It was ten am, he was still kind of groggy and he hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet for god’s sake.
“They what? They … oh - God Kris, I’m sorry.” He sounded sorry, he looked sorry. It was all over his face and in the way that his right hand was rubbing the back of his neck. But Kris was still mad.
“Jeez Adam! Because sorry is supposed to make it all okay? Supposed to make the fact that, hey, I’m at fault here too, okay? And I’m supposed to just say it’s okay?” He was really on the verge of shouting and based off of Adam’s face it was shocking him as much as it was shocking Kris.
“I - ” but Adam wasn’t going to get much say here. Not with Kris being mad and all.
“Shut up Adam. Seriously, shut up for five seconds will ya? You go out every night, and then I’m stuck here. And maybe I wanted to be with someone last night, so Matt’s room seemed like a good idea. And what do you know? They find out that you’re gone. And who’s there to answer all the questions? Me. Well … and Matt, but he’s anything but helpful. Fuck Adam, you always do this. There hasn’t been one night where you just stayed. I’ve never even seen you. You know that? I’ve never seen you without all of this and I’m you’re roommate.” And that felt really, really good. And he made a mental note to thank Danny.
He hadn’t realised that until now. He hadn’t realised that it bothered him that he never got to see Adam without the stage clothes, the everything that Adam was when he was in front of America. He never got to just see Adam and he wanted to see that.
Maybe it was something in his voice, but somehow, Adam picked up on that. As soon as he said it, the look in his eyes changed, he grabbed Kris’s hand and pulled him into the bathroom. Kris really didn’t know what to make of any of it, so he just followed Adam. Not like he had much of a choice seeing as Adam was a whole lot stronger then him and he was currently grabbing his wrist with no apparent intent of letting go.
As much as Kris really wanted to know what was going through Adam’s head when he shut the door behind them, he didn’t ask. He just kept his mouth shut and watched him go through his things (more then twice of what Kris had brought) and produced a bottle of some kind of liquid and those little white pad’s that he had seen Katy use before. Adam thrust them at Kris wordlessly, but down the lid on the toilet and sat on it.
“You want to see, go ahead.” He said, looking at Kris maybe a little too intensely. At first Kris didn’t move, the bottle in one hand and the white pads in the other, and his just stared. Because he really couldn’t believe this. Not because, oh my gawd I get to see Adam freaking Lambert without his make up on, but because this was his way of saying sorry and Kris got it, and he was accepting it.
“Seriously Kris.” Adam’s voice brought Kris back to some sort of reality and made him realise that he had just been standing there a little too long. It was kind of awkward though. Kris didn’t know where to start or what he was doing because he had never done this. He had seen Katy do it more times then he could count, taking her make up off while he was brushing his teeth at night. But that was different. That was just watching and this was actually doing and he had no idea. He figured that moving closer to Adam would be a good start.
Kneeling down in front of him on the toilet seat, Kris handed the stuff to Adam because he really didn’t know what to do. How much was too much and how much was too little. And he felt a little silly doing it too, but he wasn’t going to admit to that one. He watched Adam as he poured some of the liquid onto one of the pads, and it smelled vaguely familiar. Not like the kind Katy used, but like baby oil. Kris really did think that Adam would just do it himself, but he didn’t. Instead he gave the now kind of damp pad back to Kris so that he could do it.
Adam’s eyes were closed and Kris was staring intently at him. He couldn’t see them, but he knew that there were freckles there because they were all over his arms and whatever other parts of his body that Kris had seen. He just knew that they were there because google was kind of useful, not that he looked these kind of things up.
This whole kneeling thing wasn’t going to work out. Kris was too low, and to reach Adam’s face he’d have to stretch up. So he stood up, kind of crouching over Adam. He took the pad and moved it across Adam’s jaw line, and as it moved his skin went from being completely covered to naked and like Kris knew, there were freckles there. As Kris kept going, moving along Adam’s face, Kris got closer to him. Almost to the point that Adam could feel Kris, and Kris’s heart was starting to speed up a little. Even though he did know why, he wasn’t about to admit that to himself, or anyone else. He was just going to keep saying ‘It’s only Adam. It’s only Adam.’
There was no logical way as to how he was taking the layer of make up off of Adam. He moved across the left side of his jaw, making a strip of freckles from his ear to his chin and then back up his cheek to his left eye.
“Keep your eyes shut.” Kris muttered kind of like he was concentrating. He moved the pad over his left eye wiping away the black and the glitter. He pulled the no longer white pad away from Adam’s face, first examining his handy work, half of his face uncovered, and even more of it still covered, and then looking at the pad in his hand.
“Damn Adam, you use a lot of this stuff.” He muttered under his breath. It was low, supposed to only be for him to hear, but he knew Adam heard him through the small smirk that was on his lips, and the way that his eyebrows were raised even though his eyes were still shut.
“Makes me look pretty.” Adam said, opening the eye that still had the make up on it.
Kris pulled his bottom lip on between his teeth, studying Adam’s face. “Shut your eyes again,” he was almost incoherent with his words and that little bit of drawl that he had. But Adam understood him and shut his eyes, and Kris leaned in again, trying to clean his skin with the used pad. He moved it across his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his other eye … all the while avoiding the space between his lips and his nose, and his chin and those lips.
It was almost all gone, give or take a couple of strips that Kris had moved and the whole area around Adam’s mouth. Going back to where he started, he moved his hand with the pad between his fingers down Adam’s jaw line to his chin wiping away the bit of make up that was left there. He balled the used up pad in his fist and ran the tips of his fingers across Adam’s chin, his over hand just moving to his throat without actually thinking about it. He rubbed his thumb under Adam’s bottom lip, and he was so close that he could feel Adam’s breath hitch. He didn’t hear it, he felt it. He was so close - he needed to pull away, but he couldn’t. He needed to stay close.
“Jeez, Kris,” Adam breathed out, and if he wasn’t so close, Kris was pretty sure that he wouldn’t have heard him. But he could feel it as he talked. Feel the vibration in his throat where his hand was. He didn’t how it happened, but lips met freckled lips, the pad long forgotten pad falling from his hand as his hand flattened out and he palmed Adam’s jaw. Damn, he loved that jaw line. And Kris knew that if he were to talk right now it would be more incoherent then Adam could make out.
So he just kissed him and he stopped thinking because if he started thinking again, he’d stop kissing. He didn’t want to stop kissing. It was Adam who stopped first. Pulling away just enough so that their lips weren’t pressed together anymore, but their noses were still touching. And Kris started thinking again.
“Adam I - I can’t I’m really-“
“Don’t say sorry, Kris. You don’t have to be sorry.” His lips were brushing against Kris’s when he spoke, but not kissing him anymore.
Kris just nodded the best he could nod when noses and foreheads were being pressed together.
He just opened his eyes and pulled away from him, going back to looking at Adam, face completely naked give or take the few patches that Kris missed, and they didn’t matter.
“You’re still pretty without the make up,” he mused cocking his head, with that Kris grin.
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ahh the end ... idk xDD other then that I like it. lol