Tainted -- my first full-length Kradam fic :P
Okay, here goes :P
This is my first multi-chaptered, long Kradam fic. It's very very dark and has definite triggery stuff for some people. so heed the warnings, please! I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think.
*hugs*
DoS
Title: Tainted
Beta: the lovely and talented amproof
Pairing: Kris/Adam FS and possibly more eventually, Kris/OFC temporary
Rating: R
Warnings: non-con(off page), violence, torture
Disclaimer: none of this ever happened and God I hope it never does. Just fiction, and the people in the story are not mine, obviously :P
Summary: Someone wants Adam out of the way, and they'll go to any lengths to make that happen. Can Kris's and Adam's friendship survive this ultimate test?
Chapter One
She knew almost from the start that this was no “forever love”.
The timing just happened to be such that Larissa Evans met Kris Allen during the critical six month period between his break-up with his fiancé, Katy, and his debut on American Idol. The expression on his face when he merely referred to Katy in passing made her jealous because even in the present, in the flesh, she’d never managed to draw that look of longing and adoration to Kris’s eyes.
Larissa didn’t want to admit it to herself, but she was no fool.
She knew she was nothing more than the rebound girl.
Unfortunately, Kris was much more than that to her. From the first moment he’d smiled that disarming smile at her, those warm, brown eyes crinkling adorably at the corners as he’d taken her hand in his and introduced himself, speaking to her in that moment as if she was the only person that existed - Larissa had fallen deeply, passionately in love with him. As she’d gotten to know him better, she only found more to adore in Kris, until it hardly mattered whether or not he returned her love.
She knew she’d never love anyone half as much after him, so no matter how temporary this relationship was, Larissa was determined to hold onto it as long as possible.
For a long time, no one had come along to turn Kris’s head and draw him away from her. She began to relax, began to think that if the only competition she had was the memory of an ex-girlfriend, maybe they would last longer than she’d thought. Kris knew that he and Katy could never be together again; an unattainable desire was something she could accept and deal with.
Then American Idol happened.
Suddenly, Kris was wanted by every girl in the country. Larissa glued herself to his side, terrified that if she allowed her visible claim to slip even for a moment, one of the thousands of women who threw themselves at her boyfriend on a regular basis just might get his attention and pull him away.
She needn’t have worried. Kris hardly noticed them.
She needn’t have worried… about them.
As the show drew to a close, and the tour began, it became increasingly obvious to Larissa that Kris had little to no interest in the women who screamed and cheered for him and begged shamelessly for some scrap of his attention. No, his attention all seemed to be focused elsewhere - on Adam Lambert.
And it was no secret that his fellow performer and friend more than returned that attention.
Larissa had been infuriated and humiliated when the Rolling Stone interview had revealed Adam’s crush on her boyfriend. She had fumed and seethed with jealousy, which was nevertheless soothed somewhat by the reassuring knowledge that Kris would surely back off from his friendship with the other man now. There was no way he would allow the kind of gossip and rumors to begin which would surely accompany any evidence of their continued friendship.
To her horror and amazement, she couldn’t have been more wrong.
Kris didn’t allow the interview or the media frenzy that followed to affect his behavior toward Adam in the slightest. Immediately following the interview, Adam had been clearly anxious about Kris’s reaction to his statement, nervously stammering apologies.
Kris had cut him off without a moment’s hesitation, given him a warm hug, and promised him that this changed nothing. He accepted Adam for who he was, and was flattered and touched by the sentiment. He reassured Adam that he had become his best friend over the course of the past months, and nothing was going to change that.
Larissa told Kris that she was proud and pleased with his progressive attitude… but she was inwardly furious.
As the tour progressed, she grew increasingly insecure and frustrated as she noticed how much closer Kris and Adam were growing, in spite of - or maybe because of? - Adam’s revelation. It seemed that every time Kris called her from the road, he was with Adam. Every time that he met her for a dinner or a night in a shared hotel room, Adam was the last of the group to leave them alone together. There were times when she’d step into their tour bus to see them sitting close on the sofa, talking in quiet, personal tones.
She worried constantly about the level of intimacy the two of them were building; her stomach was perpetually queasy, her nerves always on edge with the gnawing fear that in spite of her intense love for Kris, in spite of how desperately she held on to their relationship… she was losing him.
She had options, she reminded herself, and dark plans began to take shape in her mind. As the significant other of the current American Idol, she had access to places… people… that others might not. There were circumstances she could push into place - situations she could arrange - to suit the purposes of the scheme she was composing.
Kris is mine… and I’m going to make sure that Lambert knows it. He’s going to back off… or he’s going to regret it…
*********************************
His hands and head were both beginning to ache, but Adam didn’t want to concede defeat just yet. He knew how much these brief meetings meant to his fans, and felt bad for the ones he’d already had to miss over the past couple of weeks due to the discomfort of his sore throat and queasy stomach.
No, tonight, while he was feeling up to it, he was going to do his best to make up for lost time with his fans, by staying at the indoor meet and greet following the show for as long as he possibly could.
He smiled brightly as he wrapped his arm around a girl who’d just handed her camera to her friend. He felt the tremor that passed through her shoulders at the simple contact. Hearing her excited little squeal of joy, he wondered yet again how just being so close to him could reduce someone to such a state.
He smiled and nodded as he listened to her gushing praise, taking it in with acceptance that was still more than a little self-conscious, before signing the picture she handed him and giving her a quick hug. As he watched the two girls walk away, a warm, familiar hand rested on his shoulder, and he turned to welcome Kris with a smile that was both pleased and weary.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Concern darkened Kris's friendly expression. “How you holding up?”
“I’m fine,” Adam said. He dismissed Kris’s question with a wave of his hand. “Just another hour or so and we can rest, so…” His voice trailed off with a deep, shaky sigh before he added with a bright smile, “I’ll be just fine, promise. You can quit worrying, Mom.”
A single raised eyebrow made it clear that Kris was unconvinced. “You know, this crowd is thinning out a little,” he noted after a quick glance around the room. “You really could go ahead and call it a night. Someone from security could walk you out to the bus…”
“So not necessary,” Adam insisted - but he knew that the hoarse sound of his voice, as well as the slow, pained swallow that followed his words, betrayed the fact that he was really not feeling well at all. As Kris headed purposefully toward a man wearing a black “security” t-shirt lingering nearby, Adam reached for his arm, not quite catching him. “Kris… no, you don’t have to…”
“Excuse me.” Kris’s voice carried a subtle note of authority as he gave the man a pleasant smile. He was gradually getting more accustomed to wielding the power that came with his title. “Adam needs to go back to the bus; he’s not feeling well. Can you make sure he gets there safely?”
“Yes, of course, sir,” the guard assured him and looked expectantly toward Adam.
Adam gave Kris a pointed look of annoyance, which Kris resolutely returned, his jaw set in determination. Because he really did feel like crap, Adam was the first to yield, rolling his eyes and muttering with over-dramatic irritation.
“You’re just lucky I’m sick, Kris Allen…”
“Uh-huh. Move it.”
As much as he feigned irritation with Kris’s protective attitude with him, Adam had to admit that he was secretly grateful for it. He never wanted to admit weakness or defeat, and was always willing to push himself to give just a little bit more to his fans; and sometimes in the midst of all that, he forgot to take care of himself.
And when he couldn’t look out for himself, it was tremendously reassuring to know that Kris was looking out for him.
*****************************
Adam was so exhausted that he barely spoke as the guard led him out of the room and through the winding halls that led toward the exit. He was dead on his feet, already imagining the soft comfort of his bunk in the bus, and an hour or so of quiet and rest before the others returned and the bus got too loud to allow him to sleep.
After a few minutes, however, Adam noticed that they seemed to be taking a different route than the one that had led to the room where the after party was being held.
“Is this the right way?” he asked. He was hesitant to correct someone who worked for the arena and certainly had a better idea of where he was going than Adam possibly could. “I thought…”
“Yeah, this is a better way,” the guard assured him. “No one but employees has access to this part of the building, so it’s much more secure. Don’t worry, I’ll have you to your bus in just another minute or so.”
Adam accepted that and kept following, each footstep feeling heavier and requiring more effort than the last. Still, despite his distraction, something didn’t seem quite right. He frowned as they turned a corner and went in the opposite direction of what he’d thought they should take. He wasn’t familiar with this part of the arena, but he was pretty sure his sense of direction wasn’t that bad.
Before he could voice his concerns, the guard opened an exit door in front of them, holding it open for Adam to walk through.
“This way, sir.”
Adam stepped out of the building into the cool night air, then stared around him in bewilderment. They weren’t in the rear parking area where the bus was; in fact, the bus was nowhere in sight. They were in a narrow back alley. A dark sedan with its engine running was parked a few feet away. As his tired mind tried to make sense of what was happening, a large and burly man got out of the sedan, his face obscured by a black ski mask.
Okay… this is so not right…
Adam’s stomach lurched with fear, and he automatically began to back up toward the door and the relative safety of the building. Even as he did, he remembered the long and isolated route they had taken to get there and knew that just being inside would not offer much protection. A chill came over him with a sudden moment of clarity.
This was a trap… this guy’s probably not even really security…
Before he could get through the door, rough hands pushed him from behind, sending him stumbling forward into the alley and directly into the grasp of the masked man. He struggled to pull away as the man grabbed his arm and pushed him up against the wall of the building. He tried to yell out for help, but a black-gloved hand firmly covered his mouth, so close to his nose that he could barely breathe. The acrid scent of leather filled his nostrils, and Adam began to panic, feeling suffocated and helpless, thrashing his head back and forth, his hands scrabbling at the restraining hands that held him in a desperate attempt to get free.
The fake security guard stepped in to help his partner, grabbing Adam’s wrist and pinning it against the wall behind him. He struggled frantically, desperate to escape the grasp of his two attackers - then froze, his chest constricting with a cold sensation of fear when the masked man raised a shiny black pistol and held it to his temple.
No… oh, God, no…
“Shhh, easy…” he murmured. The chilling softness of his tone was terribly confusing when combined with the violence of his actions, and only served to increase Adam’s terror. “Easy, Adam… don’t make me hurt you…”
Adam's wrist was released, but he didn't dare move it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the guard closing the exit door, then moving back to where his co-conspirator stood. He flinched, but his attention was immediately drawn back to the man facing him by the gun pressing, hard and insistent, against the side of his head. The man’s cold smile was visible despite his mask, as he issued orders in that same disturbing tone of false gentleness.
“Keep quiet. You scream and you’re dead.”
Adam swallowed hard to dampen his dry mouth, wincing at the pain the action caused his sore throat. He was trembling violently, unable to focus on anything except the weapon aimed at his head, poised to take his life if he made a single wrong move.
He nodded as best he could with his head pinned between the wall and the masked man’s hand, indicating his obedience.
Abruptly the men released him, but only for a moment before spinning him around and shoving him roughly face-first against the wall. Adam’s heart sank as his hands were pulled behind his back and quickly fastened into a set of metal handcuffs. He winced as the man fisted his thick, dark hair and forced his head back. A moment later, a thick, heavy cloth was tied tightly around his head, covering his eyes.
The panic he had been fighting since he’d first realized that something was wrong began to close in with the helplessness of losing his sight. With his hands bound and unable to even see his attackers, there was no possibility that he would be able to fight his way out of this - not that he would have had much of a chance anyway, against two men, at least one of whom he knew was armed. Kris and the others thought one of the men was a security guard, and that he was safely back on the bus by now; no one would even know to look for him for a couple of hours yet.
Adam swallowed hard, drawing in a sharp, shaky breath. “Why are you doing this?” He struggled to control the tremor in his voice. “What do you want?”
“A lot of things,” the man in the mask said, so close to his ear that Adam could feel the damp heat of his breath on his skin. There was a trace of cruel humor in the man’s tone as he continued: “But first of all… I want you to shut your fucking mouth…”
He grabbed Adam's hair again and slammed his forehead into the wall, hard enough that it made him dizzy and his knees went weak. An invasive arm slid around his waist, holding him up and bringing his captor even nearer to him as he went on in a menacing tone.
“… and do as you’re told. Think you can manage that?”
Okay… okay…
Adam bit his lower lip, fighting the impulse to speak the appeasing words aloud, knowing that speaking again would only further piss this guy off - and that was something he could not afford to do right now. Instead, he merely nodded weakly, dazed from the blow, knowing only that in his helpless condition, he had to do whatever it took to satisfy his captor before he hit him again - or worse, used the gun in his hand. He could feel something warm and sticky running down his forehead, and wondered vaguely how bad the damage was, and how difficult it would be to cover the mark up for the next show.
If there is a next show…
The man turned him around, dragging him away from the wall. Disoriented without his sight and still dazed from the blow, Adam wasn’t sure where he was pushing him until the man shoved the back of his head down, and he recognized the sound of a car door opening. A sinking sensation of dread overcame him as he remembered a basic rule of self-defense he’d known since childhood.
Never get in the car. Once they take you away from the scene, your chances of survival go way down, really fast…
He tried desperately to pull away as he was manhandled toward the car, but with his hands bound and his eyes blinded, it was a useless struggle. The men turned his body so that his back was against the car - and then a brutal, agonizing blow left spots of dancing color behind his eyes as something hard and unyielding struck him with an explosion of pain across his cheek.
The gun…?
The man caught him by the throat, pushing him back and cutting off his oxygen. He gasped for breath that wouldn’t come, prevented from struggling with his body pinned to the car, and his hands trapped behind his back. His heart raced with terror as his lungs ached for the air denied them.
“You can settle down and quit being an idiot… or I can kill you right here. Would you rather I did that?”
Desperate for air, Adam tried to shake his head in response to the question, distressed when he realized that he couldn’t due to the bruising grip on his throat. Fortunately, his captor seemed to understand what he was trying to say.
“Good.”
He shoved Adam roughly into the vehicle, and this time, Adam did not resist. He just sat there trembling with the shock and horror of what was happening to him, trying to think through the fear, trying to find some solution, some means of escape, where there seemed to be none. He tensed as he felt the seat depress beside him, knew that his captor was getting into the car beside him. He relaxed a fraction when the man didn’t touch him - and then went utterly still, his racing thoughts halted in a moment by the next words the masked man spoke. They were muttered under his breath, but Adam heard them clearly.
There was no way he could have missed them.
“Stupid little faggot.”
Adam’s heart lurched at those words, then sank slowly under the weight of a dark understanding.
If that’s what this is about… If they’re doing this to me because I’m gay… because they hate me because I’m gay… then that… that means…
The other man got into the front of the car. A moment later, it pulled out into the street; Adam’s darkest fears crowded in with a terrible, sinking certainty.
Oh, God. I’m going to die.
TBC...