Safe -- Kradam One-shot
Okay, here's a one-shot I wrote for the kink meme... hope you like it, lemme know what you think :)
*hugs*
DoS
Title: Safe
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: violence, relationship abuse (possibly triggering)
Summary: for this prompt: Kris/Adam, top/protective Kris, abusive ex-boyfriend
The last night of the tour, Adam decides to take full advantage of the fact that the "no drinking" rule has just been lifted -- and he decides that Kris has to take advantage of it with him.
Kris is pretty much just interested in taking advantage of Adam, but if Adam is determined to make him wait, well -- he'll go along for the ride.
Adam chooses the type of club that Kris would never have gone to before... well... before Adam. Back when he was living a simple life in Arkansas... back when he was newly and happily married, and not separated from his wife... back when he had never considered the possibility of falling head over heels for his unbelievably amazing, breathtakingly sexy, utterly and thoroughly male co-star.
Yeah. Adam has changed a lot of things, simply by being in Kris's life.
Adam is like an eager child, tugging on Kris's hand and leading him toward the bar, where he orders a couple of drinks for them. Of course, as soon as the bartender recognizes them, the drinks are pronounced on the house. Adam laughs, clearly on a natural high from the adrenaline of the show, and knowing that the tour is over and the rest of his life stretches before him, his to command...
... and being with Kris.
It's only been a week since they publicly announced their relationship, and Adam is still riding on a cloud of elation, clearly thrilled to claim Kris as his own, and to know that Kris is willing to openly claim him as well.
It all makes Kris feel just a little awed.
He's enjoying watching Adam's beautifully expressive face -- the way his eyes light up when he sees someone he knows, or when someone tells a particularly great joke... the way they soften again when they fall on Kris, the look in those eyes telling Kris all about another kind of celebration Adam wants to have with him when they go back to his room.
He's so focused on Adam's face that he can't miss it when the lights abruptly go out.
Adam's ever-moving features still, his eyes widening as they lock onto something -- someone? -- across the room. His face pales, and a brief tremor seems to pass through his hands, causing him to lose his grip on his glass and let it fall to the table, spilling its contents all over. Matt, Anoop, and Allison are sitting with them, and put up a token, teasing protest, mocking Adam for his uncharacteristic clumsiness.
He doesn't even hear them.
Kris shifts a little nearer to him, resting a concerned hand on his thigh, squeezing gently as he follows Adam's gaze across the room. Adam is suddenly aware of his attention, abruptly lowering his eyes and hurrying to try to mop up the mess he's just made.
"What's wrong?" Kris asks, close to Adam's ear, so low that the others can't hear the question over the pulsing music.
Adam just shakes his head, very deliberately not meeting his eyes -- clearly unwilling to allow him to pursue the subject. Kris frowns as he scans the far end of the room, but the place is too crowded to pick out exactly who or what caused Adam's strange reaction. Kris instinctively places a protective arm around Adam's shoulders, edging in nearer to his boyfriend and leaning in close, his lips brushing Adam's ear as he speaks in a coaxing tone of concern.
"Come on. Talk to me."
The answer is angry and unyielding, snapped at Kris with more venom than Kris has ever heard him use with anyone.
"No. Get off me."
Abruptly Adam pushes his arm off, rising from the table and stalking away, leaving Kris staring after him in dumbfounded confusion.
******************************************
He just can't stay there another moment, not with Kris looking at him with those eyes that see way too much, speaking to him in that soft, knowing tone that demands Adam tell him every last secret, every dark thing hidden in his past.
A part of him wants to tell Kris everything, wants to pour out the hurt and fear of the memories, and to hear Kris tell him that all that is over, in the past, and he's safe now. A part of him wants to let Kris soothe him with comforting -- if meaningless -- words, to try to draw the pain out of him and cast it away. All of him wants to stay in the well-lit, public booth, surrounded by his friends and with Kris's arm around him, making him feel secure and protected and safe.
But he can't -- not right now.
He can't let Kris see this part of his past -- this pathetic, weak person he once was.
He shouldn't be surprised that Brandon eventually managed to track him down.
He thought the security, the fame, the insane schedule, might protect him from actually running into his ex; but apparently he was wrong. People he's known in only the briefest of capacities have been coming out of the woodwork, claiming levels of friendship he'd never consider bestowing upon them. It only makes sense that the man he once shared a home, a bed, a life with, would eventually show up as well.
Problem is... Brandon is someone Adam had hoped to never have to see again.
Brandon was always the jealous type. Adam winces, a hand moving thoughtlessly to his cheek in response to a painful sense memory. He never liked it when Adam so much as looked at another guy, even months after they'd broken up. Of course his newly proclaimed relationship with Kris, plastered all over every newsstand in existence, has drawn his attention.
Adam curses himself, clenching shaking hands into fists as he makes his way toward the men's room, struggling to control his racing heart and lurching stomach. He fights off panic, reminding himself again and again that he's not that person anymore -- not that pitiful fool who allowed himself to be victimized, again and again...
... except that when he reaches the hall where the bathrooms are, only to feel a once-familiar hand close around his arm and turn him around with frightening strength that he remembers all too well, his heart sinks with the dark certainty that maybe, just maybe... he is still that person. That victim.
You walked right into this, didn't you? Stupid, idiotic...
"Hey, baby," a soft voice that sends chills down his spine murmurs as a tall, strikingly attractive man with an athlete's frame slides into his space, pressing him back against the wall beside the men's room door. "It's been a long time..."
"Get away from me," Adam mutters, trying to pull free of the vise-like grip on his arm.
But Brandon doesn't let go, his other hand rising to press against the wall beside Adam's head -- hemming him in. "Hey, Adam... baby, relax," he croons, trying to calm Adam even as he's restraining him.
Adam still struggles to escape, casting frantic glances back out toward the crowded club -- but no one will notice anything going on in this dimly lit, deserted hallway; and no one will hear him if he calls out, not over the pounding of the music.
He tries again to pull away, snapping in a voice higher than usual, laced with panic, "Brandon, let go of me! Get off..."
His words break off as all at once Brandon grips his free arm as well and slams him forcefully back against the wall, hard enough to knock the breath from his lungs, and fill his mind with a hundred memories of similar incidents.
"Stop it!"
Brandon snarls at Adam, clearly frustrated with his struggles. Adam can't help it. He remembers too well the sort of consequences that tone leads to. He flinches, freezing up, going obediently still in the grasp of his abuser. Brandon is calmed by his submission -- at least for the moment. His large hands slide soothingly up and down Adam's arms as he edges in nearer.
"That's it... easy, baby... I just want to talk to you," he murmurs, his head bowed so that his mouth is a bare inch from Adam's parted, trembling lips.
Adam turns his head away, his mouth dry with fear. He's trapped, claustrophobic, and once again... powerless.
**************************
Kris restlessly taps his fingers against his untouched drink, scanning the room for Adam. He shouldn't be hard to spot; he's head and shoulders above more than half the bodies crowded into the chaotic place -- and yet, he's nowhere to be seen.
Allison nudges his knee with hers, and he gives her a distracted look as she leans in close to his ear so he can hear her and says simply,
"Maybe he's in the bathroom."
Kris gives her a warm, if worried, smile, appreciative of how well she reads them both, and how good a friend she is to them, before nodding and sliding out of the booth. Adam clearly didn't want to talk to him before, had left the table to get away from him.
At the moment, Kris couldn't care less.
His instincts are screaming at him that something's seriously wrong. He's never seen Adam so freaked out as he was in that cryptic moment in the booth; and if something's capable of frightening the fearless Adam Lambert, Kris thinks that something is a thing he should know about -- if only so he can keep it away.
He makes his way through the crowd toward the restrooms in the back of the club.
Like it or not, Adam is going to tell him what's going on.
**************************************
"Just admit it, Adam..." Brandon's voice has a frightening edge to it. "You made the biggest mistake of your life breaking up with me."
"No..." Adam shakes his head, hating the way he can't seem to raise his eyes above Brandon's feet. "No, Brandon, you have to... to accept this. We're over. We've been over for two years now. You can't just... just show up, and expect me to..."
"Expect you to what?" Adam cringes at the rising hostility in Brandon's voice. "Expect you to not behave like a disgusting whore? Expect you to show a little class instead of hooking up with the first little twink that comes along?" He sneers, derisive and belittling. "Don't worry, baby. I don't expect anything from you anymore."
Adam opens his mouth to protest but before he can get a word out, Brandon's hand comes down across his face in a breathtaking slap that knocks his head into the wall. Adam is dizzy, struggling to maintain his footing as Brandon grabs his jaw, pushing his head back and leaning in close to hiss in his face.
"But you get one thing straight, Adam: you are mine, and you always will be!"
***************************
Kris rounds the corner just in time to see the large, burly man strike Adam, then get right in his face, threatening him. He expects Adam to resist, to strike out, to fight back... but he doesn't. Kris watches in dismay as Adam raises pleading hands in front of him, shaking his head and whispering hushed, desperate words.
"Okay... okay, Brandon, please... please, just don't..."
But Brandon just slaps him again, then draws back a fist in preparation to strike once more.
Kris has no idea what's going on here, who this guy is, why he wants to hurt Adam, or why Adam's so passively letting him. But he does know one thing.
He has no intention whatsoever of allowing it to go on.
"Hey!" he protests, stepping nearer to the confrontation. "Take your hands off him!"
Brandon turns to face Kris, and Kris can see his boyfriend's features fall with dismay. Adam meets his eyes for only a moment before looking away in shame.
"Or what?" Brandon sneers at Kris, releasing Adam and taking a menacing step toward the much smaller man. "Just how do you intend to make me?"
Kris looks past Brandon and sees the fear in Adam's eyes as he looks up. Adam reaches out a trembling hand and grasps Brandon's arm, trying to turn his attention back toward him.
"Brandon, don't..."
The fist that was already prepared comes down across Adam's face with brutal force and he sinks to his knees, head falling back against the wall as he struggles to remain conscious.
Kris sees red.
Brandon is much larger and in better physical shape, but he isn't counting on the strength that Kris's smaller frame so readily conceals. Kris throws a powerful punch that sends the larger man stumbling, then takes advantage of his loss of balance to charge him and knock him onto his back on the floor, knocking the wind out of him.
Once Brandon is down, Kris has the advantage. His powerful arms swing again and again at the bigger man's face, dizzying him and bloodying his mouth and nose with blow after blow. When he's tired and out of breath, and Brandon's no longer moving, Kris reaches down and grabs the other man's hair, speaking in a low, warning tone.
"You will never touch Adam again, do you hear me? You come near him -- ever try to speak to him again -- and I will make you regret it for the rest of your life. He obviously doesn't want to talk to you, so you are going to stay away from him. Period. Understood?"
Brandon nods groggily, raising a hand to cover his battered face with a pained groan, and Kris rises to his feet, moving to Adam's side. Adam looks up at him, dazed, fear still evident in his wide, frightened gaze.
"It's all right," Kris reassures him softly. "It's over. Are you okay?"
Adam is hesitant, looking around until his eyes fall on his barely conscious ex-boyfriend, lying on the floor where Kris left him. His eyes widen with shock, and he looks back at Kris with something resembling awe. Kris couldn't care less about his rather impressive feat. He asks again, concerned and gentle, "Adam... are you okay?"
"Yeah," Adam hoarsely responds with a slow nod. "I am now."
*******************************************
"I... I don't know why I let him do it..."
They're sitting on the bed in Kris's hotel room, leaning against the headboard. Adam is cradled close in Kris's arms, Kris's fingers running gently through his hair as Adam haltingly tells Kris his story.
"I was... going through a hard time, and he... he was so... supportive and understanding at first. He made me feel... special. Like... like I was the only one who could ever make him happy..."
"Except when you didn't," Kris supplies in a dark tone.
The quiet anger in that tone sends shivers down Adam's spine, and he's grateful that it's for him and not at him.
"Right," Adam whispers, closing his eyes against the memories. "When I'd... look at someone else wrong, or... or say the wrong thing, or... accidentally insult him... he'd... he'd just lose it. And... and I thought... I thought it was my fault. I thought I... deserved it."
"He made you think that," Kris points out, gently stroking Adam's face, tilting his chin up to look him in the eye. "Those were lies, Adam. You never deserved to be treated like that."
"I know." But the way Adam looks away, tears brimming in uncertain eyes, tells Kris that he really doesn't.
"Hey," Kris murmurs, edging down lower on the bed and pulling Adam tighter against him. "Look at me, baby..."
Adam reluctantly complies.
"You are amazing. You're the most incredible person I know, and you deserve so much better than that." Kris pauses, understanding coloring his words as he adds knowingly, "And sooner or later, I'm going to make you believe it."
Adam lets his head fall forward onto Kris's shoulder, drawing in a deep, shaky breath filled with relief and gratitude. He doesn't know what he ever did to deserve someone like Kris, but he's so glad that he's found him, that he's loved and cherished and safe.
Kris seems to read his thoughts, wrapping his arms around him, drawing him in, as he whispers, "You're safe now, Adam. I love you and I'll never hurt you. You're safe with me."
And for the first time in as long as he can remember -- Adam believes that it's true.
FIN