Tainted -- Chapter 5
Okay, here's the next chapter... and it's gonna be about a week til the next one, guys, sorry :-S With the holiday and all.. but I hope you'll like this one, anyway :)
*hugs*
DoS
Title: Tainted
Beta: the lovely and talented amproof :P
Pairing: Kris/Adam FS and possibly more eventually, temporary Kris/OFC
Rating: R
Warnings: non-con(off page), violence, torture
Disclaimer: none of this ever happened and God I hope it never does. Just fiction, and the people in the story are not mine, obviously :P
Summary: Someone wants Adam out of the way, and they'll go to any lengths to make that happen. Can Kris's and Adam's friendship survive this ultimate test?
Chapter 5
“Adam? Adam!”
Kris gently squeezed his friend’s shoulders, trying to get his attention without moving him too much, fighting off panic at his troubling condition. He nearly cried with relief when Adam let out a soft moan of distress, weakly trying to pull away from his friend’s restraining hands as he drifted back into consciousness.
“Shhh, no, Adam, don’t try to move, okay?” Kris urged him gently. “Don’t, you might hurt yourself. It’s okay, you’re safe, I’ve got you…”
Kris couldn’t seem to stop babbling out meaningless words of comfort as he knelt there on the street, surrounded by gawking onlookers as well as half of the Idol security team. None of the others mattered to him at the moment - only Adam. Kris ran shaking fingers through Adam’s hair, blinking back tears as his friend flinched at the touch. Without opening his eyes, Adam frowned, shaking his head, his hands barely rising from the sidewalk in a weak effort to escape, or defend himself, or… Kris couldn’t be sure what, exactly.
“You’re okay, Adam, you’re okay,” he murmured as he held him close. “I’m right here, you’re safe… you’re okay…”
Kris thought he might have been more convincing if he’d actually believed the words himself.
Just looking at Adam made him want to cry. His face was badly bruised. There were places where the skin had broken on his lower lip and his right cheekbone. His arms were just as bad; every bit of exposed skin was covered in livid purple and dark, angry red. Kris watched in dismay as Adam’s tense, trembling body went slack, his head lolling alarmingly against the sidewalk.
“Adam? Adam, stay with me! Open your eyes!” Kris urged him frantically.
But Adam had already slipped into unconsciousness.
It was a scene of controlled chaos as two of the security guards gently but firmly pulled Kris away, moving in to kneel over Adam and check things like his pulse and breathing - things that Kris mentally berated himself for not having thought to check himself. They carefully drew his legs out from under him and laid him out straight on the sidewalk, while other guards formed a barrier between Adam and the crowd as best they could.
“Shouldn’t we get him inside?” Kris suggested in a trembling voice, eyeing the eager, curious onlookers with suspicion. “Is it safe out here?”
“Safer than moving him before we know more about his condition,” one of the guards answered him, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder. “It’s really best if we just wait for the paramedics. They’re on their way.”
To Kris, it felt like the paramedics took forever to arrive. While they waited, he was vaguely aware of the witness who had alerted them to Adam’s presence outside the hotel, standing a few feet away with one of the security personnel and describing the rather ordinary vehicle he had seen pull up to the curb and dump the singer’s listless, damaged body and then speed off before anyone could register exactly what had just happened.
Kris wasn’t paying close attention to that, too concerned with whether or not Adam was going to be okay; but some part of his mind registered that it would not be easy to locate the particular “black sedan” that had been involved, not without a license plate number or description of the driver.
Once the security guards had managed to get Adam as stable as possible, Kris crouched again beside him, reaching out to grasp Adam's limp, unresponsive hand. Kris's eyes welled with frustrated tears as he waited, wishing there was something more he could do to help his friend - wishing he even knew if he was going to be all right at all.
Kris barely noticed Larissa’s gentle touch on his shoulder from behind him. He glanced up at her distractedly only when he heard her quiet voice.
“See, baby? I told you everything would be fine.”
Kris stared up at her, somehow startled and disturbed by her words. He knew that she meant well, was only trying to help; but something about her simplistic statement didn’t feel right to him. Nothing was “fine” - nothing at all. She looked away under the power of his scrutinizing gaze, and after a long moment, Kris slowly returned his attention to Adam, swallowing hard.
A part of him was tremendously relieved that they had found him at all; but he couldn’t quite allow himself to enjoy that relief, not yet - not when they still had no idea how badly Adam was hurt, or in what way, or if he was even going to be okay. Larissa was wrong. He had no way of knowing yet if everything was going to be fine.
Although the wait felt like forever to Kris, the paramedics actually arrived within minutes of the call, and carefully loaded Adam onto a stretcher and into the waiting ambulance. Kris rushed to climb in beside him, and since they recognized him, and Adam had no family present at the moment, no one tried to stop him. Kris realized with alarm that no one had yet thought to call Adam’s family in their hotel room across town.
“Kris!” Larissa called out, catching up to him as he scrambled into the back of the ambulance.
“Rissa, call Adam’s parents!” he called back to her as the paramedics closed the ambulance doors, the siren came on, and the vehicle pulled out onto the street. “Follow us!”
Kris clung to Adam’s hand as the medical staff worked over him, making sure he remained stable for the duration of the ride. Kris blinked back tears, unable to look away from Adam's battered face, somehow so vulnerable and innocent, as marred and damaged as it was.
Who would do something like this? Why? he wondered with a hot rush of fury flooding his tightening chest. What has he ever done to anyone?
But that line of thinking did no good at the moment, he knew. Kris swallowed back an angry, frustrated sob that rose in his throat, gently squeezed Adam’s hand, and spoke to him in a hoarse, tearful voice, though he was almost certain Adam couldn’t hear him.
“You’re gonna be okay, Adam,” he whispered, though the words were more for his own benefit than for Adam’s. “I promise. You’re gonna be okay.”
********************************
Adam was vaguely aware, first of his battered body impacting against the unforgiving concrete of the sidewalk - then of a tumult of excited, agitated voices building all around him. He was confused, panicked when he felt firm hands grasping him, and tried to fight them off, though his body didn’t seem to want to respond to his brain’s commands. Frustration mingled with fear when he realized that he couldn’t move much at all, couldn’t even so much as push away his attackers.
And then, a familiar, warm voice filled him with overwhelming relief.
“Adam… Adam, can you hear me?”
Kris.
There was a vague recollection at the back of his mind that he should not allow himself to take comfort in Kris’s voice, his nearness, the sudden knowledge that the touch that had so frightened Adam at first was his. Worry made his heart rate accelerate as certainty filled his mind that the situation was terribly wrong. Something had changed, something vitally important that he couldn’t remember.
There was a reason why Kris shouldn’t be near him.
Before he could remember what that reason was, unconsciousness swept over him, stealing his half-formed thoughts and dragging him back down into the dark.
********************************
“… really should get some rest, baby. You’ve been here for nearly twenty-four hours.”
“I’ll get rest later. When he wakes up. When I… when I know he’s okay…”
The familiar voices drifted through the heavy fog of sleep as it began to dissipate, gradually less muffled, as if he was gradually rising from beneath a great depth of water. As the voices became clearer, Adam tried to open his eyes, squinting and then blinking against light that seemed far too bright.
“Adam?” Kris was immediately attentive and at his side. “He’s waking up!”
Adam looked in the direction of Kris’s voice, just as Kris cautiously sat down on the edge of his hospital bed. Larissa was seated in a chair beside the bed, quietly giving her boyfriend the space he needed to be near his friend. Adam knew it was safe, knew it was Kris, but still flinched away from the warm, gentle touch on his arm. He immediately regretted it when he saw Kris's stunned look of dismay as he quickly withdrew his hand. A sense of dread flooded in as Adam remembered that he was going to have to see a lot more of that hurt, wounded look in the near future.
Oh, God… how am I going to do this? How can I possibly turn him away?
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Adam, did I hurt you? Do you need something? Are you okay? How are you feeling? Adam… can you talk?” Kris was babbling anxiously, dark eyes wide and uncertain as he studied Adam far too closely for his comfort.
Adam forced a half-smile to his lips, swallowing hard to wet his aching throat before croaking out a wry response. “If you’ll let me… get a word in.”
Kris let out a choked sound of relief that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just… I’m so glad you’re awake… you’re okay… You are okay, right? I mean… you’re not in any pain, or…?”
Adam shook his head, despite the fact that he was in pain. As whatever drugs had kept him unconscious had faded away, the pain of the repeated beatings and other torture he’d endured had returned. It was muted by the pain relievers that were still in his system, but it was there, a dull ache in the background of his thoughts. Still, there was no need to worry Kris anymore than he already was.
If he gets any more freaked out, he’ll lose it completely…
And if he has any idea how bad it really was… still is… and is going to be…
“I’m fine,” he lied in a hoarse whisper, fake smile weak but in place. “I’m okay…”
“Adam…” Kris’s voice was softer, more intense, and Adam felt an uneasy sensation in the pit of his stomach, sensing that the conversation was about to move in a direction he didn’t wish it to go yet - or ever, for that matter. “What happened? Who did this to you?”
Adam swallowed hard, eyes downcast, unable to bring himself to meet Kris’s gaze - afraid of what he might find there.
How much does he know? How much are the doctors allowed to tell him? Does he know about… everything that man did to me? Does he know that he…?
“Adam?” Kris’s voice was patient and gentle, coaxing.
Adam wanted to tell him everything - but he knew that it would cost them both their lives. He struggled to focus on Kris’s question, carefully weighing his words to give him enough information to assuage his questions without really giving him any information at all.
“I… I didn’t know him. I… never saw his face.” Adam kept his voice low and quiet in a vain attempt to disguise its trembling.
Adam couldn’t bring himself to look at Kris - not knowing what he was about to have to do to him - but he could hear the concern in his voice, could clearly visualize the troubled frown he knew was on his friend’s face. “Did he… did he ever say… what he wanted. I mean… why?”
Suddenly, Adam wanted nothing more than to be alone - to not have to worry about having this difficult, awkwrd conversation in which he was going to be forced to lie to his best friend, to reject him and push him away just to save his life. He bit his lower lip, turning away, feeling a hot rush of self-conscious shame prickling on his skin. He couldn’t find words - at least not any that he was allowed to say. He just shook his head slowly, staring down at the white linens that covered his legs and lower torso.
Kris seemed to understand.
He always does…
He tentatively touched Adam’s wrist, murmuring soothingly, “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it; you don’t have to think about any of that right now…”
But Adam knew he did. Adam knew he’d never stop thinking about it. At the moment, he couldn’t seem to think of anything else. At Kris’s gentle, reassuring touch, he felt tears burning behind his eyelids, threatening to fall, which only increased his sense of embarrassment. He angrily swiped them away with a trembling hand, and Kris shifted in closer to him, earnestly seeking his gaze.
“Hey… Adam… look at me, man…”
Adam reluctantly complied, blinking away tears as he struggled to maintain his composure. Kris studied his expression closely with open affection and concern, as he stood up and moved a little closer to the head of the bed. He sat down carefully on the edge of it again and looked directly into Adam’s eyes as he reached out a steadying hand to rest at the back of Adam’s neck.
Adam felt something within him breaking all over again at the compassion and tenderness he saw on Kris’s face, the uncensored love with which he touched him and tried so hard to support him. He felt his every hope crumbling with the knowledge that what he needed so desperately, what was being offered so freely, was exactly the thing that he was going to have to utterly reject.
“It’s okay,” Kris assured him with a warm, encouraging smile, completely oblivious to what Adam was about to do to them. "You don’t have to talk about it. It’s all right…”
He hesitated just a moment, considering, before he cautiously leaned over and wrapped his arms gently around Adam’s shoulders. Adam felt a sharp ache in his chest as he closed his eyes and allowed himself to rest his head on Kris’s shoulder, acutely aware that this was the last time he would ever be this close to him. It was only natural that Kris would want to comfort him now, immediately following his ordeal; but Adam knew very well that as soon as he left this hospital, he would have to cut ties with Kris completely.
He had no idea how he was going to manage that - only that he had to.
He didn’t realize how tightly he was holding onto Kris, didn’t realize that he’d returned his embrace at all, until he heard Kris whispering, “Shhh, it’s okay… I’m right here… I’m not going anywhere…”
Yes, you are… you don’t know it but you are…
Adam awkwardly withdrew a little, opening his eyes to look over Kris’s shoulder as he sniffed back tears, trying to regain control. He blinked, his focus coming back to land on Larissa in the chair beside his bed. He froze at the sight, a cold certainty building within him as she stared back at him with an expression that sent a shiver of apprehension down his spine, a sick sensation like something dark and vile and ugly crawling over his skin.
She met Adam’s gaze without flinching or looking away. She was neither smiling, nor crying, nor betraying any emotion except one: absolute hatred.
And in an instant, beyond any shadow of doubt - Adam knew.
TBC...